UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA   SAN  DIEGO 


3  1822019432780 


LlBRy 

UNI  VI 


5AN  DIEi 


UNVERSTYO     CAUFOHNIA,  SAN  RIB3O 


3  1822  01943  2780 


A.     B  O  O  1C      FOR      GIRLS. 


THE 


GOOD  GIRL 


AND 


TRUE    WOMAN; 


O  R, 


l&lmmts  0f 


DBAWN  FROM  THB 


LIFE    OF  MART   LTON 

AKD 

<®%r  Similar  Characters. 


BY 

WILLIAM   M.-THAYER, 

AUTHOE   OF    "POOE   BOT,"   "MOBlflWO    STAB,"  ETC. 


BOSTON: 
GOULD     AND     LINCOLN, 

59      WASHINGTON      STREET. 

NEW    YORK:    SHELDON    AND    COMPANY. 

CINCINNATI:   GEORGE  S.  BLANCHARD. 

1866. 


Entered  according  to  Act  of  Congress,  in  the  year  1858,  by 

GOULD    AND    LINCOLN, 
In  the  Clerk's  Office  of  the  District  Court  of  the  District  of  Massachusetts. 


PREFACE. 


THIS  volume  is  a  companion  for  "THE  POOR  BOY  AND 
MERCHANT  PRINCE,"  designed  for  girls  from  ten  to  eighteen 
years  of  age,  although  persons  of  any  age  will  find  counsels 
and  facts  upon  its  pages  to  guide  and  cheer  them  in  the  work 
of  life.  / 

The  plan  of  the  book  is  similar  to  that  of  its  companion. 
MAKY  LYON  is  the  leading  character,  around  which  are  grouped 
a  large  number  of  incidents  from  the  lives  of  other  distin- 
guished women,  both  for  the  purpose  of  illustrating  certain 
elements  of  female  character,  and  of  making  the  book  more 
attractive  to  the  young.  Miss  Lyon  was  not  a  perfect  woman, 
and  therefore  she  is  not  a  perfect  model  for  girls.  Yet  sha 
possessed  a  rare  combination  of  qualities,  such  as  are  indis- 
pensable to  a  high  order  of  character,  and  which  will  secure  a 

good  degree  of  success  to  any  girl  who  will  really  imitate  her, 

3 


IV  PREFACE. 

whatever  may  be  her  sphere  of  effort.  It  is  believed  that  girls, 
no  less  than  boys,  must  possess  certain  elements  of  character, 
if  they  would  succeed  in  the  stations  they  occupy.  These  ele- 
ments are  found  in  Mary  Lyon,  and  other  women  to  whom 
reference  is  made  on  these  pages. 

Much  has  been  written  for  boys  concerning  the  way  to  suc- 
cess ;  but  little  has  been  penned  for  girls,  as  if  they  had  noth- 
ing to  do  with  the  subject.  But  if  there  is  such  a  thing  as 
success  in  forming  character,  and  in  housekeeping,  mantua- 
making,  teaching  music,  learning,  and  the  multitude  of  other 
matters  that  claim  the  attention  of  women,  then  the  subject  is 
as  important  to  them  as  to  boys. 

The  author  hopes  that  the  volume  will  assist  girls  in  culti- 
vating the  highest  virtues,  and  in  prosecuting  the  work  of  life 
with  credit  to  themselves,  and  acceptance  to  God. 

W.  M.  T. 


- 


CONTENTS. 


L**!  A II  0 
CHAPTER    I. 

SUNRISE    AND    SUNSET. 

THE  MOUNTAIN-HOME  —  A  DEATH -SCENE  —  LAST  WORDS  OF  THE 
DYING  FATHER  —  LITTLE  MARY  —  A  CLOUD  UPON  HER  RISING 
BUN — THE  LONELY  WINTER  —  MARY'S  WORDS  FORTY  YEARS  AF- 
TER —  A  PRAYING  MOTHER  —  EARLY  ADVANTAGES  —  A  DEATH- 
SCENE  AT  MOUNT  HOLYOKE  FEMALE  SEMINARY  —  UNIVERSAL 
SORROW  —  WORDS  OF  A  MONTREAL  LADY  —  EULOGY  OF  PRINCESS 
CHARLOTTE  APPLIED  —  WORDS  OF  DR.  HUMPHREY  —  OF  DR. 
HITCHCOCK  —  HER  GRAVE  AND  MONUMENT — LITTLE  MARY  OF 
1802,  AND  MARY  LYON  OF  1849 — HER  RISING  AND  SETTING  SUN  — 
HOW  DID  SHE  SUCCEED?  —  IMPORTANT  FOR  GIRLS  TO  KNOW,  .  19 


CHAPTER    II. 

•  -  <v 

A    PURPOSE. 

RESOLVED  TO  IMPROVE  HER  MIND  —  KEPT  HOUSE  FOR  HER  BROTH- 
ER —  WEAVING,  SPINNING,  AND  TEACHING  —  AT  SANDERSON 
ACADEMY  —  DECIDED  TO  BE  A  TEACHER  —  REFUSED  OFFER  OF 
MARRIAGE —  CONTRASTED  WITH  GIRLS  OF  AIMLESS  LIFE  —  MANY 
OF  THEM  WITHOUT  PURPOSE  —  THIS  A  CAUSE  OF  UNHAPPINES8 
IN  WEDDED  LIFE — GIRL  SAID  "SHE  LIVBD  TO  BREATHE  " —  BE- 

5 


VI  CONTENTS. 

MARK  OP  AGE8ILAU8  —  PARENTS  TEACH  SONS  TO  BE  USEFUL,  AMD 
DAUGHTERS  TO  BE    LADY-LIKE  —  SONS  EDUCATED    FOR    PROFES- 
SIONS,  DAUGHTERS    FOR    NOTHING  —  VICTORIA,  AN   EXAMPLE   Of 
SOBLE     PURPOSE  —  MRS.    WESLEY,    MRS.    DODDRIDOE,    AND     OTH- 
•      KRS  —  MADAME    DE    STAEL,    HANNAH     MORE.    HANNAH     ADAMS, 
•ETC.  —  HARRIET    NEWELL   AT    SEVENTEEN  —  THE   DAUGHTER  OF 
AN  INTEMPERATE  FATHER  —  WHY  DO  GIRLS  LIVE  ?       .          .         29 


CHAPTER    III. 

A     GIRL'S    MISTAKE. 

POSITION  AND  DUTY  —  MANY  GIRLS  DESIRE  THE  FORMER  —  DESPISE 
LABOR  —  MARRY  UNPRINCIPLED  YOUNG  MEN  FOR  BEAUTY  OB 
MONEY  —  THOUGHTLESSNESS  RESULTS  —  QUEEN  ELIZABETH  — 
CONFESSION  OF  PRINCESS  AMELIA — CONTRASTED  WITH  SEEKING 
HAPPINESS  IN  DOING  DUTY  —  A  YOUNG  LADY  AT  THE  WEST  — 
MARY  LYON  ALWAYS  ASKED.  "WHAT  IS  DUTY?"  —  HER  COUN- 
SELS TO  PUPILS —  HER  REGARD  FOR  DUTY  IN  VIEW  OF  DEATH 
SUBLIME—  DISCHARGE  OF  DUTY  NEVER  REGRETTED  —  WORDS  OF 
ELIZABETH  HKRVEY  DYING  ON  MISSIONARY  GROUND,  .  .  39 


CHAPTER    IV. 

FEMALE     INFLUENCE. 

REMARKS  OF  A  GIRE  —  ERRONEOUS  VIEWS  —  FEMALE  INFLUENCE  — 
REMARKS  ON  ADOLPH  MONOD  —  OF  REV.  J.  A.  JAMES  —  INFLU- 
ENCE OF  WIVES  AND  MOTHERS — CASE  OF  GENERAL  HOUSTON  — 
THAT  OF  SIR  JAMES  MACKINTOSH — WIVES  OF  THE  GENERALS 
HOWE — MOTHER  OF  JOHN  QUINCY  ADAMS — OF  REV.  RICHARD 
KNILL  —  OF  BACON,  DWIGHT,  NEWTON,  ETC.  —  ALL  COUNTRIES 
GOVERNED  BY  WOMEN  —  MOTHER  OF  WASHINGTON  —  DISCOVERY  • 
OF  AMERICA  PARTLY  DUE  TO  WOMAN  —  SO  ORIGIN  OF  INFANT 
SCHOOLS  —  EFFORTS  IN  WORKS  OF  MERCY  —  MOHAWK  INDIANS  — 


CONTENTS.  VII 

. 

FEMALES  DECIDE  MORALS  —  EXAMPLE  OP  MART  LYON  —  HER 
SEMINARY —  HER  THREE  THOUSAND  PUPILS — SKETCH  OP  ON» 
OF  THEM  —  A  HUNDRED  THOUSAND  TEACHERS — CONVERSION  OF 
PUPILS  —  HER  INFLUENCE  EQUALS  THAT  OP  ANT  STATESMAN  — 
HANNAH  MOKE — CONCLUSION, 49 


CHAPTER    V. 
A    GIBL'S    MISSION.    .* 

FOR  WHAT  SPHERE  SHALL  A  GIRL  PREPARE?  —  GIRLS  HAVE  A 
MISSION  AS  REALLY  AS  BOYS  —  SHE  IS  QUALIFIED  POR  ERRANDS 
OP  MERCY  —  TESTIMONY  OP  LEDYARD  —  OF  MUNGO  PARK  —  OP  A 
FUGITIVE  PROM -THE  OLD  JERSEY  PRISON-SHIP  —  LABORS  OP  SA- 
RAH HOFFMAN,  MISS  DIX,  MRS.  FRY,  AND  COUNTESS  OP  HUNT- 
INGDON—  OP  MRS.  JUDSON,  HARRIET  STEWART,  ETC. — LINES  OP 
MRS.  SIGOURNEY  —  A  SISTER'S  POWER  OVER  AN  INSANE  BROTH- 
ER —  HER  INFANT  IN  HIS  ARMS  —  THE  OFFICE  OP  NURSE  —  RE- 
MARKS OP  MRS.  OS80LI  — THE  OFFICE  OP  TEACHER  —  REMARKS 
OP  DR.  WAYLAND  —  SIXTY  THOUSAND  TEACHERS  WANTED  — 
REMARKS  OP  MARY  LYON  —  HER  LIFE  AS  TEACHER  —  MRS.  RE- 
BECCA MOTTE  —  MANUAL  ^EMPLOYMENT —  MISSIONARY  WORK  — 
HOME  DUTIES  —  PREPARATION  FOR  THESE  QUALIFIES  FOR  OTHER 

SPHERES — •'  WOMAN'S  RIGHTS  ?t — JOAN  OP  ARC  AND  ABBY  KELLY 

POSTER — MART  LYON  —  POETRY, 69 


CHAPTER    VI. 

• 

A     GOOD     DAUGHTER. 

CONNECTION  BETWEEN  A  GOOD  DAUGHTER  AND  TRUE  WOMAN  — 
MARY  LYON  AN  EXAMPLE  OP  FILIAL  LOVE  AND  OBEDIENCE  — 
LETTERS  TO  HER  MOTHER  —  THE  SAME  WHEN  HIGHLY  DISTIN- 
GUISHED —  SOME  CHILDP.EN  ASHAMED  OP  HUMBLE  PARENTS 
WHEN  THEY.  THEMSELVES  BECOME  EICH  OR  FAMED  —  CONKI- 


in  CONTENTS. 

DENCE  IK  HER  MOTHER'S  PRAYERS  —  ADD  ISDN'S  REMARK  ~  DISO- 
BEDIENT DAUGHTERS  MAKE  UNLOVELY  WOMEN  —  THE  ROMAN 
TULLIA  —  SOME  MEN  UNDUTIPUL  —  DAUGHTER  TURNING  MOTHER 
OUT  OF  DOORS — A  ROMAN  MOTHER  NURSED  IN  PRISON  BY  HER 
DAUGHTER  —  THE  DAUGHTER  OF  CAZOTTE  —  LATE  MARRIAGE  OF 
VICTORIA'S  DAUGHTER  —  GIRL  ITU  NEW  YORK  WHO  OFFERED  TO 
DISPOSE  OF  HER  TEETH  TO  AID  PARENTS  —  INCIDENT  RELATED 
BY  REV.  MR.  JAMES  —  LINES, 73 


CHAPTER    VII. 

A    TBUE    SISTER. 

THE  FRATERNAL  TIE  —  MARY  LYON  AS  A  SISTER — HER  BROTH- 
ER'S FAMILY  —  LINES  SHE  PUT  INTO  HIS  WIFE'S  HAND — GRIEF 
AT  HIS  DEPARTURE  FOR  THE  WEST  —  LETTERS  TO  HER  SISTER 
AND  BROTHER  —  ASSISTANCE  TO  HER  8I8TERS —  TO  HER  NIECES  — 
IF  QIRLS  WOULD  BECOME  TRUE  WOMEN  THEY  MUST  BE  TRUE 
BISTERS  —  RELATION  TO  BROTHERS  —  FAILURE  AS  SISTERS  AT 
HOME  FORESHADOWS  FAILURE  ABROAD — REMARK  OF  DR.  AL- 
COTT  —  OF  WASHINGTON  IRVING  —  OF  ANOTHER  WRITER — HEN- 
KY  MARTYN  —  STRIKING  EXAMPLE  OF  A  SISTER'S  INFLUENCE  — 
WHAT  DO  THESE  FACTS  SHOW? — THE  PRINCESS  ELIZABETH  EX- 
POSING HER  LIFE  FOR  HER  SISTER  —  WIFE  OF  INTAPHEHNES 
SAVED  HER  BROTHER  INSTEAD  OF  HUSBAND  FROM  DEATH  — 
SISTERLY  FIDELITY  INDICATES  OTHER  VIRTUES  —  "BE  KIND  TO 
THY  BROTHER." 86 


/CHAPTER    VIII. 

AMIABILITY. 


A  JEWEL  IN  MARY  LYON'S  CHARACTER  —  NO  GIRL  SHOULD  BE 
WITHOUT  IT  —  A  SELFISH,  JEALOUS,  PEEVISH,  ENVIOUS,  VIOLENT 
SPIRIT,  INCONSISTENT  WITH  IT — REMARKS  OF  HANNAH  MOUE  — 
OF  REV.  J.  A.  JAMES  — EXAMPLE  OF  OCTAVIA — OF  MARGARET 
WINTHROP  —  LETTER  TO  HER  HUSBAND  —  A  WAGER  ABOUT' 
WIVES  IN  A  BAR-ROOM,  WITH  ITS  RESULTS,  '.  .  .  99 


,  CONTENTS.  IX 

'*-•.'• 

CHAPTER   IX. 

MODESTY. 

;-•/"•"'    ••         •  '         •         ;    ;  :>  :•'  —  ;  ". ••.«••    :i.  .1  vsAa: 

ITS  CHARM  CONCEDED  BY  ALL  NATIONS  —  SAMARITAN  AND  SYR- 
IAN LADIES  —  VIEWS  OF  WRITERS  —  JAMES  —  DR.  ALCOTT  — 
BOLDNESS  DESTROYS  FEMALE  INFLUENCE  — WOMEN  OF  THE 
BIBLE  — MARY  LYON  WAS  MODEST  — AN  UNASSUMING  SCHOLAR 

—  A  HUMBLE  WOMAN— THE    DAUGHTER    OF  DR.  BUMEY— MRS. 
FOLK  —.WIFE  OF  JOHN  ADAMS  —  MOTHER  OF  WASHINGTON,      108 

CHAPTER   X. 

CONSCIENTIOUSNESS. 

MARY  LYON'S  PUPIL  ON  A  JOURNEY— HER  CONSCIENTIOUSNESS 
THE  RESULT  OF  HER  TEACHER'S  COUNSELS  —  MARY  LYON'S 
EXAMPLE  —  CONSCIENTIOUS  IN  GIRLHOOD  —  MARY  LYON  CON- 
SCIENTIOUS IN  DRESS,  IN  KEEPING  THE  SABBATH  —  A  BEAUTI- 
FUL TRAIT— HELEN  WALKER  —  INSCRIPTION  ON  HER  MONUMENT 

—  GENTEEL  LYING  —  A  WIFE'S  NOBLE  STAND  FOR  THE  SABBATH 

—  ITS  BENEFITS, _.."*,.  (      .         .         119 

CHAPTER   XI. 

MENTAL    CULTUKE. 

FENELON  —  DR.  SPRING  AND  DR.  OSGOOD  SHOWING  DEFECTS  IN 
EDUCATION  OF  GIRLS  —  ACCOMPLISHMENTS  THE  RAGE — "  SHOW- 
ING OFF" — MIND  CLAIMS  RESPECT — DAUGHTER  OF  MITCHELL 
THE  ASTRONOMER  —  SCHOOLS  WHERE  THEY  ONLY  STUDY  AND 
RECITE — MERCHANT'S  WIFE,  AND  A  POOR  SPELLER  —  DAUGH- 
TERS OF  THE  RICH  AND  POOR — MISS  EDGEWORTH  AND  HAN- 
NAH ADAMS  —  MISS  HERSCHEL,  MARY  DWIQHT  —  SELF-CUL- 
TURE—ABIGAIL ADAMS  —  GRADUATES  OF  OUR  SEMINARIES  — 
CULTURE  OF  THINKING  — FEW  INVENTIONS  BY  WOMEN  —  SELF- 
CULTURE —  READING  —  MARIA  ANTOINETTE  —  BAD  INFLUENCE 
OF  NOVELS  —  POLLOK.  —  HOW  GIRLS  SHOULD  READ,  .  .  128 


X  CONTENTS.  , 

CHAPTER  XII. 

POLITENESS. 

MARY  LYON  POLITE  —  HER  POLITENESS  AN  INCIDENTAL  QUALITY 

—  NEVER  MAKE    IT  A  DISTINCT  ACT  — IMPROVEMENT  OF  MIND 
AND    HEART -*•  GIRLS   TOO   OFTEN    AFFECTED  AND   NOT  PO'LITE 

—  AN    EXAMPLE  —  IMPOLITENESS    OF      "POLITE     LADIES"  —  A 
LADY  IN   THE  CONGREGATION  —  A  CASE  IN    PHILADELPHIA  —  A 
FEMALE  IN  THE    OMNIBUS  —  WHAT  IS  TRUE    POLITENESS  HERE 

—  WORDS  OF  ANOTHER, 144 

CHAPTER   XIII. 

VANITY. 

GIRLS  DISPOSED  TO  BE  VAIN  — THE  WORLD  A  VANITY  FAIR  — 
ONE  VAIN  OF  BEAUTY,  ANOTHER  OF  DRESS  — ANECDOTE  BY 
HOWITT  —  HOW  PARENTS  TEACH  VANITY  —  WHAT  L'AIME  MAR- 
TIN SAYS  OF  FRANCE  TRUE  OF  AMERICA  —  LINES  OF  POLLOK 

—  REMARKS    OF    DR.  MAGOON  —  VANITY    HINDERS    SUCCESS  BY 
DWARFING     THE     MIND  —  EXAMPLE   OF    PRINCESS    CHARLOTTE 

—  THE  SHAWL  WORTH  THREE  THOUSAND  GUINEAS  —  JOSEPHINE 

—  CORNELIA,  THE    MOTHER    OF    THE    GRACCHI  —  REMARKS    OF 
KOLLIN  —  VANITY  A  WEAKNESS  AND   SIN.       ....       151 


CHAPTER    XIV. 

FASHION. 

CECIL  — DEVOTION  TO  FASHION— THE  DAUGHTER  OF  HENRY 
LAURENS  — MARY  LYON  ON  "WEARING  THIN  SHOES  AND  COT- 
TON HOSE"  —  GIRLS  KILLING  THEMSELVES  FOR  FASHION  — 
TESTIMONY  OF  PHYSICIANS  —  DR.  COGAN  —  A  WASTE  OF  TIME 
—  A  LADY  AT  A  HOTEL  —  WHAT  MRS.  OSSOLI  SAW  —  FASHION 
ENGENDERS  SELFISHNESS  —  SICK  ROOM  AND  BALL  ROOM —  SAC- 
RIFICES MADE  FOR  FASHION  —  OF  MONEY  AND  LABOR  —  TOR- 
URES  ENDURED  FOR  IT,  AS  EARS  BORED,  FEET  PINCHED,  BODIES 
SQUEEZED  —  AFRICAN  WOMEN  —  THE  CHINESE  —  INHABITANTS 
OF  NEW  GUINEA—  FASHION  A  BARRIKB  TO  SUCCESS,  .  .  160 


CONTENTS.  XI 

CHAPTER    XV. 

DRESS. 

CONNECTION  WITH  TWO  PRECEDING  CHAPTERS  —  MART  LYOTT  Oil 
THIS  SUBJECT  —  DR.  HITCHCOCK'S  REPRESENTATION  OF  HEB 
VIEWS  —  HER  VIEW  LIKE  HANNAH  MORE'S  AND  REV.  JOHN  NEW- 
TON'S—  OBJECT  OF  DRESS  — EXTRAVAGANCE  —  THE  BANKRUPT  — 
A  BOSTON  LADY'S  LACE  BILL — COSTLY  LEVEES  GIVEN  BY  THIS 
CLASS  —  POORER  CLASSES  IMITATE  RICH — A  POET'S  DESCRIP- 
TION—  FEMALES  IN  ALL  AGES  AND  NATIONS  FOND  OF  DRESS  — 
THE  KAREN  LADY  WITH  FIFTEEN  NECKLACES  —  THE  PATAGONI- 
AN  FEMALES — BOY  BOUGHT  FOR  A  BUTTON  —  EXAMPLE  OF  KINGS 
AND  QUEENS  —  COURT  SUIT  WORTH  $400,000 — NECKLACE  GIVEN 
TO  VICTORIA'S  DAUGHTER  COST  $20,000  —  QUEEN  ELIZABETH'S 
THREE  THOUSAND  DRESSES  —  A  FASHIONABLE  WOMAN  AND  HER 
TWENTY-EIGHT  TRUNKS  —  DRESS  PROVES  A  SNARE  —  CONTRAST 
WITH  A  LADY  AT  WASHINGTON  —  FRANCES  MCLELLAN  —  THE 
SCRIPTURES  —  REMARKS  OF  REV.  ALBERT  BARNES — LINES,  171 


CHAPTER    XVI. 

A     LADY. 

LADY,  AN  ABUSED  TERM  —  THE  GAY  AND  FOOLISH  CLAIM  IT  — 
SOME  APPLY  IT  TO  FEMALES  INDISCRIMINATELY  —  WHO  IS  A 
LADY?  —  GIRLS  THINK  SOME  NEEDFUL  LABOR  IS  NOT  LADY- 
LIKE—  GENTEEL  TO  BE  IGNORANT  OF  HOUSEWORK — THE  WO- 
MAN WHOSE  PASTOR  CALLED  TO  SEE  HER  —  SOME  YOUNG 
LADIES  NEVER  SEEN  IN  KITCHEN-GARB  —  MAN  WHO  MARRIED 
A  BEAUTY,  AS  RELATED  BY  ARTHUR — WAS  SHE  MORE  LADY- 
LIKE FOR -NOT  KNOWING  HOW  TO  COOK  A  DINNER?  —  ALEXAN- 
DER'S SISTERS  —  C,  -:8AR'8  WIFE  —  THE  WIFE  OF  COLLATINUS 
^OF  TARQUIN  —  M  VDAME  ROLAND  —  MRS.  WASHINGTON  AND 
VISIT  OF  LA1AYETT  —  THE  WIFE  OF  GENERAL  WASHINGTON  — 
VISIT  AND  CONFESSION  OF  MRS.  TROUPE— WIFE  OF  GOVERNOR 
CRITTENDEN  —  ALL  THESE  WERE  LADIES,  YET  PERFORMED 
HOUSEWORK  — MARY  LYON  A  MODEL  — HER  WORDS  AND  PRAC 


n  CONTENTS. 

TIOI — LIKE  SOLOMON'S  TRUE  LADY  —  A  GIRL'S  EDUCATION  DE- 
TECTIVE WITHOUT  KNOWLEDGE  OF  HOUSEWORK  —  KING  JAMES 
AND  THE  LITERARY  UlilL  —  LINKS  OF  MONTGOMERY,  .  .  184 


CHAPTER    XVII. 

A     BEAUTIFUL     FACE. 

LITERARY  WOMEN  HOMELY  —  BEAUTIFUL  FEMALES  VAIN  —  HYPA- 
TIA  —  ANNA  COMNENA  —  MADAM  DE  STAEL — MADAM  NECKER, 
MARY  LYON,  AND  JOHN  WILKE8  —  LATTER  TALK  AWAY  HOME- 
LINESS IN  FIVE  MINUTES  —  BEAUTY  HAS  ITS  PLACE  —  BEAUTY- 
WORSHIP  TO  BE  CONDEMNED — GIRLS  WHO  ADORE  IT  UNFIT 
POR  NOBLE  THINGS  — THE  YOUNG  LADY  WITH  SMALL-POX  — 
QUEEN  ELIZABETH  HAD  MIRRORB  REMOVED — A  USELESS  BELLE 
—  LIKE  JAPANESE  FEMALES  AND  THOSE  OF  GREENLAND  —  A 
FATHER'S  COUNSEL  TO  A  HANDSOME  SON  AND  HOMELY  DAUGH- 
TER—  SHOULD  BE  HEEDED,  . 197 


CHAPTER    XVIII. 

A     BEAUTIFUL     SOUL. 

VARY  LYON'S  HEART-QUALITIES  —  HER  SYMPATHY  AND  BENEVO- 
LENCE —  AIDED  HER  GIRLS  IN  GETTING  EDUCATION  —  THE  COL- 
LEGE STUDENT  —  HER  TEACHINGS  ON  BENEVOLENCE  —  THE 
GIRL'S  8PEXDING-MONEY —  THE  FARM  IN  NEW  YORK  —  BENEVO- 
LENCE OF  GOSPEL  HER  CONTROLLING  PRINCIPLE  —  FLORENCE 
NIGHTINGALE  IN  THE  CRIMEAN  WAR — EDUCATED  BY  HER  PA- 
KENT8  IN  BENEVOLENCE  —  WIFE  OF  JOHN  HOWARD — A  LADY'S 
PAINTINGS  GIVEN  TO  CHARITY— QUEEN  ANNE  BOLEYN  —  TWO 
SISTERS  WHO  EARNED  ONE  HUNDRED  DOLLARS  FOR  MISS  LYON  — 
DORCAS  —  ALL  HAD  BEAUTIFUL  SOULS  —  ORNAMENTS  OF  THE 
SPIRIT  —  WAYS  OF  DOING  GOOD  —  RELIEVING  THE  POOR  —  IN 
8ABSATH  SCHOOL  — THE  SEWING-CIRCLE  —  TEMPERANCE  CAUSE  — 
MISSIONARY  WORK  —  SUCH  EFFORTS  WIN  CONFIDENCE  —  THE 
HERMIT  AND  HIS  WELL, 203 


CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER     XIX. 

U  SE  F  ULNE  S  S  . 

MANY  GIRLS  HAVE  LITTLE  IDEA  OP  IT  — MISS  I/TON'S  LETTER  — 
MINISTEK'8  DAUGHTER —  LETTER  TO  HEE  SISTER — SOME  GIRLS 
AS  USELESS  AS  POSSIBLE — CAN  EMBROIDER,  BUT  NOT  MAKE  A 
DRESS  OR  PIE  —  WHAT  IS  IT  TO  BE  USELESS?  —  AN  OPPORTUNITY 
—  A  USEFUL  GIRL  —  PUBLIC  GRIEF  AT  THE  DEATH  OF  MRS.  VAN 
NESS  —  THE  EULOGY  "  SHE  WAS  USEFUL,"  AND  "  SHE  WAS  ACCOM- 
PLISHED "  —  GIRLS  SHOULD  AIM  TO  BE  USEFUL  IF  THEY  WOULD 
BE  SUCCESSFUL, "...  217 


CHAPTER     XX. 

AMUS  EMENTS. 

KISS  LYON'B  VIEWS  OP  AMUSEMENTS  SCRIPTURAL  —  LOVB  Of 
AMUSEMENTS  —  DESTROYS  USEFULNESS  —  LOVERS  OP  PLEASURE 
ARE  TRIFLERS  —  AMUSEMENTS  EXTINGUISH  SERIOUS  THOUGHTS  — 
THE  YOUNG  INQUIRER  AND  THE  DANCE  —  TESTIMONY  OF  FRAN- 
CES M'LELLAN  —  PLEASURE-SEEKING  GIRLS  ASSOCIATE  OFTEN 
WITH  YOUNG  MEN  OF  BAD  CHARACTER — MANY  INTEMPERATK 
YOUNG  MEN  —  ONE  OP  THIS  CLASS  ON  HER  DEATH-BED — TESTI- 
MONY OF  HER  PHYSICIAN  —  THESE  EVILS  SHOW  BAD  INFLU- 
ENCE OP  POPULAR  AMUSEMENTS  —  THESE  SHOULD  BE  AVOIDED  — 
RECREATION  NECESSARY,  BUT  NOT  AMUSEMENTS  —  PLEASURE 
NEVER  TO  BE  SOUGHT  FOR  ITS  OWN  SAKE  —  PRINCIPLE  THB 
RULE  OF  ACTION,  AND  PLEASURE  THE  RESULT  —  CLEOPATRA 
DISSOLVED  AND  DRANK  A  JEWEL  WORTH  $375,000  TO  THE  HEALTH 
OF  MARK  ANTONY— .MANY  GIRLS  MAKE  GREATER  SACRIFICE  OF 
80UL, .-•..."•  •  •  223 


CHAPTER     XXI. 

CONVERSATION. 


MUCH    TIME    SPENT    13*    CONVERSATION  —  REMARKS    OF    OB.    PEA- 
BODY  —  AW    ACCOMPLISHMENT  —  USELESS    TALK  —  REMARK:    O» 


XIT  CONTENTS. 

HANNAH  MORE  —  "WHAT  WOMEN  TALK  ABOUT"  —  MILTON  AND 
HIS  DAUGHTERS  —  BEN  JON8ON —  AUTHOR  OF  "  YOUNG  WOMAN'S 
FRIEND  "  —  SOCIETY  IN  ITALY— THE  OLD  LADY'S  JUDGMENT  — 
EMPTY  VESSELS — KNOW  HOW  TO  KEEP  SILENCE  —  OPINIONS  OF 
CICERO  AND  LORD  BACON  —  THE  MEETING  OF  GRECIAN  PHILOS- 
OPHERS —  EXTRAVAGANT  EPITHETS  —  FEMININE  SWEARING  — 
GOSSIP  —  ELIZABETH  BURNETT — COUNSEL  OF  THE  BIBLE  —  THE 
YOUNG  EDUCATED  BY  CONVERSATION  —  THE  GRACCHI  —  MARY 
LYON  A  GOOD  EXAMPLE  — REMARK  OF  DR.  HITCHCOCK,  .  233 


CHAPTER    XXII. 

INDUSTRY. 

OTIDO'S    PICTURE  —  MARY    LYON    AN    EXAMPLE    OF    INDUSTRY  — • 
MODE  OF  RECREATING  —  BOYS    MORE    INDUSTRIOUS    THAN    GIRLS 

—  A      FABLE  —  INFLUENCE     OF     INDUSTRY     ON      THE      HEART  — 
WORDS  OF  BISHOP   HALL  —  GREAT  WASTE  OF  TIME  AMONG  GIRLS 

—  AN  ESTIMATE — REMARK  OF  BISHOP  TAYLOR — RESULT  IF  ALL 
WERE     INDUSTRIOUS  —  THE    CHINESE    EMPEROR  —  A    DAUGHTER 
WHO  AIDS  HER  MOTHER— TEXTS  OF  SCRIPTURE,         .          .         246 


CHAPTER  XXIII. 

SPAKE       MOMENTS. 

SIRLS  HAVE  MORE  SPARE  MOMENTS  THAN  BOV8  —  THREE  HTTNDRED 
AND  SIXTY-FOUR  THOUSAND  PAGES  IN  TE: ,'  YEARS  —  THE  POOR 
WIDOW — GIRLS  OF  SIMILAR  SPIRIT  DO  Mi  CH  —  TIME  GIVEN  TO 
NEEDLE-WORK,  MUSIC,  PAINTING,  ETC.  —  '  HE  STUDIOUS  YOUTH, 
AND  ONE  HOUR  A  DAY — ELIZABETH  OR.-' Y,  WIFE  OF  RICHEST 
MAN  IN  MASSACHUSETTS  —  WHAT  IS  8EF  .'  IN  EVERY  COMMU- 
NITY—  THE  LIGHT  BOAT  AND  GAY  LADY  -  WISHING  FOR  PLEAS- 
URE—  REMARKS  OF  DR.  ALCOTT  —  MAR,"  LYON  ON  WASTING/ 
TIME  —  SEVEN  WAYS  OF  MISSPENDING  rTUIE —  HER  EXAMPLE 

GOOD,          . 256 

2 


CONTENTS.  ,       XV 

CHAPTER     XXIV, 

OBDER. 

A  PERT  YOUNG  MISS  —  MANY  GIRLS  LIKE  HER  —  ORDER  IN  LITTLJ5 
THINGS  —  A  DISORDERLY  GIRL  DESCRIBED  —  THE  SYSTEMATIC 
GIRL  DESCRIBED  —  NEVER  HURRIED  —  ORDER  NECESSARY  TO 
INDUSTRY  AND  ECONOMY  OP  TIME  —  ALL  GOOD  BUSINESS  MEN 
ADOPT  IT  —  LEAST  OF  IT  IN  HOUSEHOLDS  —  A  SCENE  —  THE 
WOMAN  WHOSE  HOUSE  IS  IN  CONFUSION  —  MK8.  PRIOR  —  MRS. 
SUSANNA  BENSON  —  MARY  LYON  IN  EARLY  AND  LATER  LIFE  — 
ORDER  IN  HER  SEMINARY,  .  266 


CHAPTER     XXV. 

PUNCTUALITY. 

j± 
PUNCTUALITY  NECESSARY  TO  ORDER  —  WANT  OF  PUNCTUALITY  A 

GENERAL  EVIL — WOMAN  WHO  LOST  HER  PLACE  THROUGH  TAR- 
DINESS—  THE  LOWELL  MOTHER  VISITING  BOSTON  —  ONE  MINUTE 
TOO  LATE  —  FEMALES  LESS  PUNCTUAL  THAN  MALES  —  THE 
TARDY  SCHOOL  GIRL  —  RISING  EARLY  —  WRITING  LETTERS  — 
TWELVE  O'CLOCK  PRECISELY  —  RULES  OF  GENTILITY  UNFAVOR- 
ABLE TO  PUNCTUALITY  —  THE  COUNTESS  OF  BURFORD  —  MARY 
LYON  EVER  PUNCTUAL  —  REMARKS  OF  DR.  HITCHCOCK  —  NOT 
PUT  OFF  TILL  TO-MORROW  WHAT  CAN  BE  DONE  TO-DAY  —  AMUS- 
ING DREAM  —  HER  COUNSEL  TO  PUPILS  ABOUT  PUNCTUALITY 
•^-NAPOLEON  AND  THE  BATTLE  OF  WATERLOO,  .  .  .  275 


CHAPTER     XXVI. 

FRUGALITY. 

DIALOGUE  BETWEEN  TWO  GIRLS  —  REPRESENTATIVES  OF  TWO 
CLASSES  —  HABIT  OF  WASTING  —  REMARK  OF  SUPERINTENDENT 
OF  BONNET  MANUFACTORY  —  SECRET  OF  MANY  MEN'S  POVERTY 


XVI      ,  CONTENTS. 

—  8AVIirO  TO  HOARD.  AN  EVIL  —  MRS  PRIOR  —  MISS  DIX  AMD 
HER  AGED  FATHER  —  MAROARET  BOUDET  AND  HER  NIECES  — 
MARY  LYON  —  HER  REMARKS  ON  T11I8  VIRTUE  —  ITS  GENERAL 
INFLUENCE  ON  CHARACTER  —  ONE  OF  THE  PRINCIPLES  THAT 
REGULATED  MOUNT  HOLYOKE  SEMINARY  —  THE  GIRL  WHO  18 
NOT  WASTEFUL  OF  PINS  WILL  BE  FRUGAL  IN  GREATER  MAT- 
TERS,   284 


CHAPTER    XXVII. 
t.l' 

SELF-RELIANCE. 

SELF-RELIANCE  OF  MARY  LYON  —  THE  RICH  AND  POOR  MAN'S 
DAUGHTER  —  MADAME  DE  GENLIS  —  WANT  OF  THIS  A  FAULT 
OF  MODERN  FEMALE  SOCIETY  —  REMARK  OF  FREEDLEY  —  GET- 
TING WELL  MARRIED  —  THE  DAUGHTER  WHO  RELIED  UPON  HER 
MOTHER,  AND  NOT  UPON  HERSELF  —  THE  OLD  MAN'S  BRIDE  — 
SELF-RELIANCE  FITS  GIRLS  FOR  VICISSITUDES  —  REVERSES  FRE- 
QUENT —  MRS.  BLEEKER  —  WIVES  OF  DRUNKARDS  —  THE  YOUNG 
MERCHANT'S  WIFE  IN  PHILADELPHIA  —  THE  CLERGYMAN'S 
WIDOW  AND  FOUR  CHILDREN  —  THE  MERCHANT'S  WIDOW  AND 
THREE  CHILDREN — THE  WISE  MERCHANT'S  DAUGHTERS,  AS  RE- 
LATED BY  ARTHUR  —  THE  MOST  PROSPEROUS  BECOME  POOR  — 
MARIA  ANTOINETTE  —  NAPOLEON'S  MOTHER  —  ANNALS  OF  CRIME 
—  A  SAD  STORY — SELF-RELIANCE  NECESSARY  TO  SYMMETRY  OF 
CHARACTER  —  APPEAL  TO  THE  READER,  ....  294 


CHAPTER  XXVIII. 

DECISION. 

THE  MOON  AND  HER  MOTHER  —  CONNECTION  WITH  BELF-RELIANCB 
—  PRINCESS  OF  ORANGE  —  GIRLS  THAT  SAY  "  NO  "  —  DECISION 
NECESSARY  TO  THE  IMPROVEMENT  OF  TIME  —  HOW  MARY  LYON 
TAUGHT  PUPILS  DECISION  —  TEMPTATION  TO  WASTE  TIME  IN 
BED  —  HERSELF  A  PATTERN  OF — FELLOWSHIPPING  YOUNG  MEN 
OF  DOUBTFUL  CHARACTER  —  DECISION  OF  RUTH  —  NOT  IMPOSSI- 
BLE TO  CULTIVATE  IT  — THE  FATHER  WHO  COULD  NOT  DECIDE 
FOR  WHICH  SON  TO  DIE — REMARK  OF  WILLIAM  WIRT,  .  306 


. CONTENTS. 


CHAPTER  XXIX. 


PEE  SEVERANCE. 


REMARK  OF  MADAME  NECKER  —  THIS  QUALITY  NECESSARY  HT 
MINOR  DUTIES  —  NECESSARY  TO  ENERGY  AND  GENERAL  STRENGTH 
OF  CHARACTER  —  PERSEVERANCE  OF  MARY  LYON  —  MADE  HER 
A  TEACHER  AND  POUNDER  OP  MOUNT  HOLYOKE  SEMINARY  — 
TESTIMONY  OP  DR.  HITCHCOCK  —  STICKING  TO  A  THING  —  HAN- 
NAH MORE,  AND  HER  LABORS  IN  A  WICKED  COMMUNITY  —  THE 
WIFE  OP  DR.  JOHN  KITTO  —  ALL  NEED  THE  QUALITY  —  LINES  OF 
A  POET,  .  .......  314 


CHAPTER     XXX. 

•   .  wj:  .'•».:  ;    :m> 
SELF-POSSESSION. 

tsi'iil     vtA. 

MISS  LYON'S  PRESENCE  OP  MIND  —  SPRINGING  FROM  DECISION  AND 
SELP-RELIANCE  —  THE  YOUNG  LADY  AND  FRACTIOUS  HORSE  — 
THE  CHILD  ON  FIRE  —  THE  PLEASURE  PARTY  —  CHILD  SEIZED 
WITH  CONVULSIONS  —  SELF-POSSESSION  WOULD  HAVE  BEEN  VAL- 
UABLE IN  ALL  THESE  CASES  —  MRS.  DAVIESS  OF  KENTUCKY  — 
THE  SCHOOL-HOUSE  ON  PIRE  —  WOMAN^WHO  SHOT  THE  ROBBER 
IN  ASHLAND,  MASS  —  SUITED  TO  PEMALE  CHARACTER  —  SOME 
GIRLS  THINK  TIMIDITY  IS  LADY-LIKE  —  SELF-POSSESSION  OF  THE 
CHRISTIAN  —  DIVINE  WORDS,  •  .  .  .  "  .  .  322 


CHAPTER  XXXI. 

FORTITUDE. 

CONNECTION  WITH  SELF-POSSESSION  —  MARY  LYON  AN  EXAMPLE 
OP  FORTITUDE  —  BEAUTY  IN  IT  —  HARRIET  NEWELL  —  DECIDING 
TO  BE  A  MISSIONARY  —  GENUINE  HEROISM  —  PEMALliS  NOT  IN- 
CAPABLE OP  DISPLAYING  THIS  TRAIT —  EIGHTEEN  WIVES  IN  THE 
MAYFLOWER — MARY  CHILTON  — WOMEN  OP  THE  REVOLUTION  — 


XVIII  CONTENTS. 

MRS.  HARRINGTON,  OF  LEXINGTON  —  MRS.  PRIOR  IMPRISONED 
IN  HOCSE  OF  ILL-FAME  —  AARON  BURR  AND  HIS  AUNT  — RECORDS 
OF  MARTYRDOM  —  EXECUTION  OF  LADY  JANE  GREY  —  LINES  ON 
WALL  OF  HER  PRISON  —  PERSUASIVE  TO  CULTIVATE  THIS  QUAL- 
ITY, .  331 


CHAPTER    XXXII. 

PIETY. 

CROWNING  EXCELLENCE  — A  FEMALE  INFIDEL  —  KESTARKS  OV 
HANNAH  MORE  AND  REV.  J.  A.  JAMES  —  THEY  REPRESENT 
VIEWS  OF  ALL  WRITERS  —  MARY  WOLBTEJICROFT  CONDEMNED 
FOR  INFIDELITY  —  FRANCES  WRIGHT  AND  LAFAYETTE — MANY 
GIRLS  LIVING  WITHOUT  GOD  —  MARY  LYON'8  PIETY — INCREASED 
LUSTRE  OF  OTHER  VIRTUES — RELIGION  ADAPTED  TO  NATURE 
AND  SPHERE  OF  WOMAN  —  THE  TEMPLE  OF  VESTA  —  GIRLS 
NEED  RELIGION  TO  CULTIVATE  SOME  OF  FOREGOING  QUALITIES 
—  TO  SHIELD  THEM  FROM  TEMPTATION — TO  PREPARE  THEM 
FOR  THE  VICISSITUDES  OF  LIFE  —  MRS.  COMSTOCK,  THE  MISSION- 
ARY—IT PREPARES  FOR  EXCHANGE  OF  WORLDS — LAST  HOURS 
OF  A  PIOUS  YOUNG  LADY  —  LINES  —  CONCLUSION,  .  .  341 


THE 


GOOD  GIRL  AND  TRUE  WOMAN. 


CHAPTER    I. 

SUNKISE    A2TD    SUNSET. 

THE  MOUNTAIN-HOjrfT — A  DEATH  -SCENE  —  LAST  WORDS  OF  THE 
DYING  FATHER  —  LITTLE  MARY  —  A  CLOUD  UPON  HER  RISING 
SUN  —  THE  LONELY  WINTER  —  MARY'S  WORDS  FORTY  YEARS  AF- 
TER—A PRAYING  MOTHER — EARLY  ADVANTAGES  —  A  DEATH- 
SCENE  AT  MOUNT  HOLYOKE  FEMALE  SEMINARY  —  UNIVERSAL 
BORROW  —  WORDS  OF  A  MONTREAL  LADY  —  EULOGY  OF  PRINCESS 
CHARLOTTE  APPLIED  —  WORDS  OF'  DU.  HUMPHREY  —  OF  DR. 
HITCHCOCK  —  HER 'GRAVE  AND  MONUMENT  —  LITTLE  MARY  OF 
1802,  AND  MARY  LYOX  OF  1849  —  HER  RISING  AND  SETTING  SUN  — 
HOW  DID  SHE  SUCCEED?  —  IMPORTANT  FOR  GIRLS  TO  KNQJV. 

COME,  Reader,  in  imagination  let  us  visit  a  loved 
"  mountain  home,r>  as  it  was  more  than  half  a  cen- 
tury ago.  It  is  a  humble  abode,  in  the  quiet  town 
of  Buckland,  Massachusetts;  but  peace  and  love 
dwell  within  its  v  alls.  Costly  palaces  never  held 
more  true  affectk  ;i  and  goodness  than  was  found 
iu  that  lowly  cot.  There  prayer  had  its  altar,  and 
piety  yielded  its  richest  fruits.  Parents  toiled  and 


20  THE    GOOD   GIKL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

prayed  for  their  children,  who  were  as  olive  plants 
round  about  their  table;  and  children  took  the 
counsels  of  parents  to  their  hearts,  and  wore  them 
as  "ornaments  to  the  head,  and  chains  about  the 
neck."  Mutual  concord  made  the  hours  swift- 
winged,  and  daily  lessons  of  wisdom  imparted 
strength  and  beauty  to*  each  young  life. 

It  is  a  cold  day  of  blustering  December,  fifty-six 
years  ago,  on  which  we  pay  our  visit  to  this  family 
circle.  It  is  winter  in  more  senses  than  one  to 
them,  for,  as  we  enter  about  mid-day,  we  behold 
"  weeping  and  lamentation. "  The  pious  husband 
and  father,  who  "  was  often  sent  for*to  pray  with  the 
sick  and  dying,"  is  djdng  himself.  The  afflicted 
wife  and  mother,  with  her  group  of  dependent  and 
sobbing  children,  stand  around  his  bedside.  We 
will  not  attempt  to  depict  the  sorrow  of  those 
young  hearts,  for  this  is  quite  impossible.  It  is  sad 
indeed  to  become  fatherless,  but  the  loss  of  such  a 
father !  a  father  who  "  was  never  known  to  speak 
an  angry  word,"  and  whose  praise,  as  a  holy  man, 
"  was  in  all  the  churches," — the  loss  of  such  a  father 
is  a  loss  indeed  !  It  is  a  dark,  dark  hour  to  those 
sons  and  daughters ;  and  it  comes  like  a  blight  upon 
their  early  dreams.  But  hark!  the  dying  father 
speaks !  Almost  breathless  the  young  weepers  lis- 
ten to  catch  his  last  faltering  words.  "  My  dear  chil- 
dren,—  what  shall  I  say  to  you,  my  children? 


SUNRISE    AND    SUNSET.     :>   jrr?  21 

God  bless  you,  my  children."  They  are  his  last 
Avords.  He  is  gone.  Heart  and  home  are  now 
desolate.  '*  *  'r 

Among  that  group  of  children  was  a  little  girl 
of  four  bright  summers ;  too  young  to  appreciate 
her  loss,  yet  old  enough  to  mingle  her  sorrow  witk 
brothers  and  sisters  of  riper  years.  She  was  a 
sprightly,  light-hearted  child  .by  nature,  whose 
merry  voice  had  chimed  well  with  the  songs  of 
mountain  birds  around  her  home.  Her  father's 
death  was  the  first  cloud  that  had  darkened  her 
rising  sun.  A  great  cloud  it  was  to  obscure  her 
life's  bright  morning !  By  industry  and  strict  econ- 
omy the  father  had  supported  his  numerous  family 
from  the  products  of  his  little  farm  —  but  how 
could  that  farm  now  yield  support  for  them  with- 
out a  father's  labors  ?  Little  Mary  was  too^young 
to  raise  this  question;  but  her  childish  ignorance 
did  not  alteV  the  reality.  The  sad  event  changed 
her  prospects  for  life;  that  is,  to  human  view. 
Could  the  best  of  mothers  do  so  well  for~  her  chil- 
dren, guiding  and  toiling  alone,  as  both  father  and 
mother,  with  their  united  efforts,  could?  Surely 
not.  Mary,  then,  had  less  to  hope  for,  and  her 
promise  for  life  was  not  so  fair,  after  her  excellent 
father  was  taken.  True,  her  mother  was  no  ordi- 
nary woman  either  in  mind  or  heart.  She  was  "a 
person  of  strong  mind  and  active  piety,"  better 


22  THE   GOOD   GIRL    AND    TRUE   WOMAN. 

fitted  than  many  to  share  the  widow's  lonely  por- 
tion, since  she  found  a  helper  in  the  widow's  God. 
Still,  the  absence  of  a  father's  ever»busy  hand  must 
have  deprived  Mary  of  many  comforts  and  advan- 
tages which  otherwise  would  have  brightened  her 
early  days. 

That  was  a  lonely  winter  which  followed  the 
death  of  the  beloved  father.  How  often  his  last 
words  to  his  children  were  revolved !  How  sadly 
strange  it  seemed  to  them  to  beho  d  not  his  smiling 
face,  to  hear  not  his  pleasant  voice  !  And  then,  too, 
as  they  gathered  around  the  family  altar,  how 
strange  to  listen  only  to  a  moth  ir's  voice,  as  she 
read  the  Scriptures  and  offered  prayer !  All  this 
must  have  served  to  make  the  wi  iter  of  their  sor- 
row more  bleak  and  severe.  But  that  was  a  time 
of  precious  sowing.  Even  Mary  r  'membered  those 
maternal  prayers  to  the  day  of  h  T  death.  Forty 
years  f thereafter  she  wrote,  "W  at  child  of  that 
household  could  ever  forget  th<  >e  extraordinary 
prayers  of  the  sorrowing  mother  for  the  salvation 
of  her  fatherless  children,  as  they  were  offered  up, 
day  by  day,  through  all  the  Ion;  cold  winter?" 
Happy  the  fatherless  children  who  have  such  a  pray- 
ing mother ! 

Suffice  it  to  say  that  the  family  continued  upon 
the  homestead,  where  Mary  was  privileged  to  climb 
the  rocks  and  hills,  and  sport  among  the  trees  and 


SUNRISE    AND    SUNSET.  23 

wild-flowers.  Her  early  advantages  for  acquiring 
knowledge  were  very  limited;  for  it  was  a  long 
distance  to  the  district  school-house,  and  her  feet 
wearied  on  the  way.  Girls  of  the  present  day  en- 
joy far  greater  school  advantages.  In  this  regard 
chey  are  more  favorably  situated  than  was  the  sub- 
ject of  these  remarks.  Perhaps  none  of  them, 
however,  receive  more  valuable  lessons  at  home. 

We  pause  here,  and  drop  the  curtain  iipon  Ma- 
ry's childhood.  Nearly  fifty  years  pass,  and  quite 
another  scene  opens  to  our  view. 

On  the  morning  of  March  6th,  1849,  the  tele- 
graphic wires  carried  the  sad  intelligence  from  city 
to  city  that  the  Principal  of  Mount  Holyoke  Fe- 
male Seminary  was  no  more.  The  mournful  tidings 
spread  far  and  wide,  and  tears  were  shed  in  many 
a  peaceful  dwelling.  The  death  of  a  female  is  sel- 
dom announced  with  so  many  demonstrations  of 
unfeigned  sorrow.  In  'almost  every  state  of  tho 
Union  there  were  some  to  weep  over  the  sorrowful 
intelligence.  "  Long  ere  this,"  wrote  a  woman  in 
Montreal,  "  amid  the  hunting-grounds  of  the  Sioux 
and  the  villages  of  the  Cherokees,  tfte  tear  of  the 
missionary  has  wet  the  page  which  has  told  of  her 
departure.  The  Sandwich  Islander  will  ask  why  is 
his  white  teacher's  eye  dim,  as  she  reads  her  Amer- 
cian  letters.  The  swarthy  African  will  lament 


24     THE  GOOD  GIKL  AND  TKUE  WOMAN. 

with  his  sorrowing  guide,  who  cries,  "  Help,  Lord, 
for  the  godly  ceaseth."  The  cinnamon  groves  of 
Ceylon,  and  the  palm-trees  of  India  over-shadow 
her  early-deceased  missionary  pupils,  while  those 
left  to  bear  the  burden  and  heat  of  the  day  will 
wail  the  saint  whose  prayers  and  letters  they  so 
prized.  Among  the  Nestorians  of  Persia,  and  at 
the  base  of  Mount  Olympus,  will  her  name  be 
breathed  softly,  as  the  household  name  of  one 
whom  God  hath  taken." 

It  was  not  strange  that  her  death  was  the  occa- 
sion of  general  sorrow.  For,  as  the  founder  of  the 
first  thorough  and  extensive  female  seminary  in 
the  land,  and  the  teacher  of  more  than  three  thou- 
sand pupils,  she  had  justly  earned  a  place  in  the 
affections  of  the  wise  and  good.  She  had  per- 
formed labors  that  would  have  prostrated  almost 
any  one  of  her  sex,  and  introduced  a  grateful  era  in 
the  cause  of  female  education.  She  deserved  the 
nation's  tribute  of  respect.  We  may  justly  apply 
to  her  the  poet's  eulogy  of  the  Princess  Charlotte, 

of  Wales :  — 

• 

"  A  soul  more  spotless  never  claimed  a  tear; 
A  heart  more  tender,  open,  and  sincere; 
A  hand  more  ready  blessings  to  bestow; 
Beloved,  lamented,  and  without  a  foe; 
How  prized  in  life,  say  ye  who  knew  her  well ; 
How  wept  in  death,  a  nation's  tears  may  tell." 


SUNKISE    AND    SUNSET.  25 

Dr.  Humphrey  said,  in  her  funeral  sermon,  "In 
glancing  at  her  chai'acter,  taken  all  in  all,  I  hardly 
dare  to  express  the  high  estimation  which  my  long 
acquaintance  constrains  me  to  cherish,  lest  I  should 
seem  to  exaggerate.  I  certainly  should  not  express 
it  but  in  the  presence  of  those  who  have  enjoyed 
equal  or  better  opportunities  for  marking  her  radi- 
ant and  upward  course.  I  do  not  say  that  in  her 
intellectual  endowments  she  was  superior  to  many 
other  females,  nor  that  she  attained  to  the  first 
rank  in  external  graces  and  accomplishments ;  but 
this  I  do  say,  that,  so  far  as  I  can  remember,  I 
have  never  known  so  much  physical,  intellectual, 
and  moral  power  all  combined  in  any  one  female  as 
in  our  departed  friend.  Such  labors  as  she  per- 
formed would  Have  broken  down  almost  any  other 
constitution  years  ago.  *  *  *  To  do  the 
greatest  possible  good  to  the  greatest  number  was 
her  study  and  delight.  I  feel  that  on  this  point 
there  is  hardly  any  danger  of  using  too  strong  lan- 
guage. To  say  that  she  was  preeminently  benevo- 
lent is  not  strong  enough.  In  humble  imitation  of 
her  Saviour,  she  seemed,  wherever  she  went,  and 
in  all  her  relations,  to  be  the  very  embodiment 
of  love  and  good  will  to  men,  and  never  to  have 
thought  of  herself,  of  her  own  ease,  advantage,  or 
convenience.  It  "was  enough  for  her  that  others 
were  made  wiser,  and  better,  and  happier,  at  what- 
ever cost  of  toil  or  sacrifice  to  herself. " 
*  3 


26  THE    GOOD   GIRL    AMD    TRUE    WOMAN. 

Says  Dr.  Hitchcock,  "  We  are  amazed  when  we 
look  back  at  the  amount  and  magnitude  of  her 
labors.  Very  few  females  have  done  so  much  for 
the  world  while  they  lived,  or  have  left  so  rich  a 
legacy  when  they  died.  Nor  is  the  fair  picture 
marred  by  dark  stains,  save  those  of  microscopic 
littleness.  From  the  days  of  her  childhood  to  the 
time  of  her  death,  all  her  physical,  intellectual,  and 
moral  powers  were  concentrated  upon  some  useful 
and  noble  object,  while  selfishness  and  self-gratifica- 
tion seem  never  to  have  stood  at  all  in  the  way, 
or  to  have  retarded  the  fervid  wheels  of  benevo- 
lence." ****** 

"  Wherever  she  went,  her  pathway  was  radiant 
with  love,  though  she  seemed  unconscious  of  its 
brightness.  *  *  *  jjer  influence  widened ; 
her  plans  succeeded ;  the  world  began  to  applaud, 
and  the  wise  confessed  her  superior  discernment 
and  wisdom.  At  her  death  she  had  opened  a  per- 
ennial fountain  of  influence,  whose  streams  had 
already  reached  the  remotest  nations  of  the  earth, 
and  which,  through  future  generations,  is  destined 
to  do  more  for  the  happiness  of  the  world  than  all 
the  acts  of  the  mightiest  queen  that  ever  ruled. 
Surely  the  whole  picture  impresses  us  forcibly  with 
its  moral  sublimity ;  and  we  might  almost  have  ex- 
pected that  the  chariot  and  hofses  of  fire  would 
have  been  granted  to  close  a  scene  so  much  like  an 
angel  visit." 


SUNRISE    AND    SUNSET.  27 

Her  remains  were  buried  in  a  lovely  spot  on  the 
Seminary  grounds ;  and  over  them  a  beautiful  mon- 
ument of  white  Italian  marble  stands,  bearing  the 
following  inscription::  — 

MARY    LYON, 

THE  FOUNDER  OF 

MOUNT   HOLYOKE   FEMALE    SEMINAET; 

AND  FOR  TWBLVK  TEARS 

ITS     PRINCIPAL; 
Si   Stacker 

FOE    THIRTY-FIVE    YEARS, 

AND  OF  MORE  THAN 

THREE     THOUSAND     PUPILS. 

BORN  FEBRUARY  28,  1797, 

DIED  MARCH  5,  1849. 

It  seems  scarcely  possible,  and  yet  it  is  true,  that 
the  little  girl  whose  childhood  we  have  sketched 
was  this  same  MARY  LYON.  From  her  humble 
home  among  the  hills  she  went  forth  at  the  call  of 
duty ;  and  what  a  bright  missiont  was  hers !  A 
cloud  obscured  her  rising  sun,  but  it  set  in  splen- 
dor. Her  morning  of  life  was  darkened  by  trial  — 
its  evening  was  lighted  with  a  halo  of  glory. 

How  did  Mary  Lyon  achieve  this  signal  success  ? 
What  element  of  character  enabled  her  to  ascend 


28     THE  GOOD  GIBL  AND  TRUE  WOMAN. 

to  this  high  eminence  of  usefulness  and  honor? 
It  is  worth  while  to  answer  these  questions,  and 
this  will  be  the  object  of  the  following  pages.  Not 
that  we  intend  to  confine  our  thoughts  to  her  char- 
acter alone,  but  only  to  make  it  stand  forth  as  our 
guide,  while  we  cluster  around  it  numerous  inci- 
dents from  the  lives  of  other  distinguished  women, 
in  order  to  accomplish  our  purpose  more  success- 
fully. Girls,  no  less  than  boys,  need  to  know  how 
they  can  make  the  most  of  life.  It  will  aid  them 
to  learn  how  others  have  lived  and  labored.  The 
strong  points  of  female  character  will  thus  be  made 
to  appear  in  their  vigor  and  loveliness. 


CHAPTER    II. 


A    PURPOSE. 


RESOLVED  TO  IMPROVE  HER  MIND  —  KEPT  HOUSE  FOB  HEE  BROTH- 
ER —  WEAVING,  SPINNING,  AND  TEACHING  —  AT  SANDERSON 
ACADEMY  —  DECIDED  TO  BE  A  TEACHER  —  REFUSED  OFFER  OF 
MARRIAGE— CONTRASTED  WITH  GIRLS  OF  AIMLESS  LIFE  —  MANY 
OF  THEM  WITHOUT  PURPOSE  —  THIS  A  CAUSE  OF  UNHAPPINESS 
ITi  WEDDED  LIFE  —  GIRL  SAID  "  SHE  LIVED  TO  BREATHE  "  —  RE- 
MARK OF  AGESILAU8 — PARENTS  TEACH  SONS  TO  BE  USEFUL,  AND 
DAUGHTERS  TO  BE  LADY-LIKE  —  SONS  EDUCATED  FOR  PROFES- 
SIONS, DAUGHTERS  FOR  NOTHING  —  VICTORIA,  AN  EXAMPLE  OF 
ITOBLB-  PURPOSE  —  MRS.  WESLEY,  MRS.  DODDRIDGE,  AND  OTH- 
ERS —  MADAME  DE  STAEL,  HANNAH  MORE,  HANNAH  ADAMS, 
ETC.  —  HARRIET  NEWELL  AT  SEVENTEEN  —  THE  DAUGHTER  OF 
AN  INTEMPERATE  FATHER  —  WHY  DO  GIRLS  LIVE  ? 


IN  her  girlhood  Mary  Lyon  resolv.ed  to  improve 
her  mind.  Her  opportunities  for  acquiring  knowk 
edge,  as  we  have  said,  were  limited ;  but  "  where 
there 's  a  will  there 's  a  way. "  Before  she  was 
thirteen  years  old,  plans  were  formed  which  ma- 
tured into  a  determined  and  noble  purpose.  There 
was  not  a  time  thereafter  when  she  lost  sight  of 
that  one  object  —  mental  culture.  She  gleaned 
what  knowledge  she  could  in  her  own  school  dis- 
trict, under  quite  unfavorable  circumstances,  and, 
3* 


30     THE  GOOD  GIRL  AND  TRUE  WOMAN. 

at  the  same  time,  as  opportunity  offered,  went  to 
another  district,  and  sometimes  to  Ashfield,  to 
school,  residing  for  the  time  being  with  some  of 
her  relatives,  doing  housework  to  pay  her  board. 
When  she  was  fourteen  years  of  age,  she  kept 
house  for  her  unmarried  brother,  who  was  left  in 
charge  of  the  homestead,  after  their  mother's  sec- 
ond marriage.  She  succeeded  so  well  in  this  im- 
portant sphere  that  her  brother  paid  her  one  dollar 
a  week  to  aid  her  in  prosecuting  her  studies.  At 
the  earliest  opportunity,  in  order  to  earn  the  means 
to  defray  her  expenses  at  school,  she  engaged  in 
teaching  at  seventy-five  cents  a  week,  less  than  she 
had  received  for  keeping  -house.  But  she  had 
formed  a  purpose  in  that  direction,  and  to  the 
schoolroom  she  would  go. 

Subsequently  she  collected  together  all  she  had 
earned  by  her  services  to  her  brother,  by  weaving, 
spinning,  and  teaching,  and  entered  Sanderson 
Academy  at  Ashfield.  There  she  remained  until 
her  scanty  means  were  expended,  when  she  decided 
to  return  to  former  employments.  But  the  trus- 
tees of  the  institution  kindly  offered  her  a  free  use 
of  all  its  advantages,  which  she  accepted  with  a 
grateful  heart.  How  long  she  remained  there  we 
do  not  know ;  but  from  that  time,  she  was  study- 
ing and  teaching  until  she  died  in  eighteen  hun- 
dred and  forty-nine. 


A    PURPOSE.  31 

"We  need  not  detail  her  course  further  at  present. 
We  have  said  enough  to  show  that  she  was  ani- 
mated with  one  purpose  from  her  girlhood.  In  all 
that  she  did  it  was  evident  what  she  intended  to 
be.  She  had  a  definite  object,  and  that  she  labored  > 
to  accomplish.  The  older  she  grew,  the  more  her 
soul  was  absorbed  in  her  purpose.  And,  finally, 
she  seemed  to  desire  life  only  to  render  herself 
useful  by  teaching  the  young.  Even  when  she 
received  a  good  offer  of  marriage,  she  declined  it, 
assigning  as  a  reason,  that  she  had  projected  plans 
for  doing  good  by  teaching,  which  she  could  not  re- 
linquish for  the  most  favorable  matrimonial  alliance. 
Surely,  she  must  have  decided  with  unusual  thought- 
fulness  what  she  would  be,  and  what  she  would  do ! 

Contrast  this  feature  of  Mary  Lyon's  character 
with  that  of  the  majority  of  girls.  How  few  of 
them  form  any  definite  purpose  respecting  their  mis- 
sion !  The  majority  are  perfectly  aimless.  Youth 
of  the  other  sex  are  delinquent  enough  in  this  par- 
ticular ;  but  the  case  is  much  worse  with  girls.  No 
doubt  social  maxims  and  customs  tend  to  make 
them  aimless :  for  society  has  not  demanded  that 
women  should  be  educated  definitely  for  particular 
spheres.  It  is  expected  that  a  boy  will  be  disci- 
plined in  some  chosen  pursuit,  so  that  when  he  be- 
comes a  man,  he  will  be  master  of  some  trade  or 
profession,  and  be  able  to  support  a  family.  But 


32      THE  GOOD  GIRL  AND  TRUE  WOMAN. 

this  is  not  expected  of  girls.  For  this  reason, 
many  of  them  grow  up  to  womanhood,  and  become 
wives,  without  being  qualified  to  superintend  the 
preparation  of  even  a  good  dinner.  A  woman 
would  think  herself  peculiarly  unfortunate  to  find 
herself  wedded  to  a  husband  who  was  not  compe- 
tent to  manage  any  kind  of  business  for  support. 
But  many  a  man  finds  himself  wedded  to  a  wife 
who  can  neither  sew,  bake,  nor  take  care  of  her 
own  children.  She  has  never  had  any  definite  ideas 
about  a  woman's  field  of  duty;  indeed,  she  was 
educated  to  lead  a  butterfly's  life,  so  that  a  well- 
formed  purpose  was  entirely  out  of  the  question. 
Here  is  the  secret  of  much  unhappiness  in  the  mar- 
ried state.  A  man  marries  a  young  woman  of  rank 
and  beauty,  supposing  that  he  has  found  a  help- 
meet to  aid  and  cheer  him  in  the  great  work  of 
life ;  but  alas !  he  finds,  too  late,  that  she  has  no 
just  conception  of  womanly  duties,  and  is  happy 
only  when  she  is  treated  as  a  plaything,  or  a  doll. 
It  is  not  strange  that  he  should  feel  sadly  disap- 
pointed, especially  when  he  considers  that  the  alli- 
ance is  for  life.  Perhaps,  in  order  to  minister  to 
his  wife's  pleasure,  he  must  increase  his  family  ex- 
penses to  a  degree  that  becomes  embarrassing ;  and 
this  is  another  thorn  in  the  flesh.  One  evil  leads  to 
another  until  mutual  sympathy  of  husband  and  wife 
is  destroyed,  and  both  are  unhappy.  And  it  is  all 


A   PURPOSE.  33 


the  consequence  of  the  aimless  girlhood  of 
became  his  wife.  She  was  never  taught  to  think 
she  would  ever  be  a  woman,  on  whom  grave  re- 
sponsibilities would  devolve.  She  never  had  any 
proper  views  of  life.  That  she  ought  to  form  defi- 
nite ideas  of  future  toils  and  duties,  and  model  her 
character  by  certain  high  moral  principles  and  aims 
never  entered  her  mind.  She  became  such  a  wo- 
man as  she  happened  to  be,  unless,  perchance,  a 
fashionable  education  made  her  as  vain  and  useless 
as  possible.  One  of  this  class  replied  to  the  inter- 
rogative, "  What  is  the  object  of  your  life  ?  "  "  To 
breathe-  "  However  little  sincerity  there  may  have 
been  in  the  reply,  it  contains  a  truthful  satire  upon 
the  lives  of  many  girls.  They  live  "  to  breathe," 
and  that  is  all.  They  are  living  without  any  defi- 
nite object  before  them,  and  they  would  be  puzzled 
to  find  another  answer  to  the  above  inquiry. 

When  Agesilaus,  king  of  Sparta,  was  asked  what 
things  boys  ought  to  learn,  he  replied,  "Those 
which  they  ought  to  practise  when  they  come  to 
be  men."  In  accordance  with  this  noble  counsel, 
parents  are  wont  to  say  to  their  sons,  '  Show  your- 
selves men  :  let  your  early  life  be  adorned  with 
those  principles  and  purposes  that  will  contribute  to 
your  distinction  and  usefulness  in  manhood.'  But 
the  same  parents,  perhaps,  say  to  their  daughters, 
practically,  4  Learn  to  be  lady-like  ;  do  not  trouble 


34      THE  GOOD  GIRL  AND  TRUE  WOMAN. 

your  mind  about  what  sphere  you  may  occupy  here- , 
after ;  learn  music ;  embroidery,  and  practise  gen- 
tility ;  this  will  do  for  girls.'  No  wonder  so  many  are 
aimless,  and  live  and  die  without  making  a  mark 
upon  the  world !  Boys  are  taught  to  think  that 
they  must  live  to  some  purpose,  and  attain  to  some 
distinction  in  definite  callings.  Hence  one  is  edu- 
cated for  a  clergyman,  another  for  a  lawyer,  an- 
other for  a  physician,  another  for  a  merchant, 
another  for  a  farmer,  and  thus  on.  Not  so  with  a 
multitude  of  girls.  There  is  so  much  indefinite- 
ness  in  their  plans,  and  in  the  system  of  education 
under  which  they  are  taught,  that  it  cannot  be  said 
they  are  instructed  to  be  teachers,  Or  housekeepers, 
or  seamstresses,  or  even  wives  and  mothers.  Of 
course  society  must  share  the  blame  for  such  a 
state  of  things.  If  its  rule  is,  reading  rooms  for 
males,  and  carpets  and  plumes  for  females,  it  must 
reap  accordingly. 

If  we  turn  to  the  lives  of  the  most  eminent  wo- 
men who  have  lived,  we  shall  find  that  they  early 
formed  a  definite  purpose,  as  Mary  Lyon  did,  and 
acted  accordingly.  That  purpose  may  have  been 
begotten  by  the  judicious  management  of  intelli- 
gent mothers.  For  example,  the  mother  of  the 
present  Queen  of  England  inspired  in  the  heart 
of  her  lovely  daughter  those  noble  sentiments  of 
honor  and  purity  which  have  ever  characterized 


A   PURPOSE.  35 

her  reign.  Her  husband  died  when  the  child  was 
but  eight  months  old.  The  House  of  Commons 
sent  a  committee  with  an  address  of  condolence  to 
the  afflicted  widow.  She  met  the  deputation  with 
the  child  in  her  arms,  and  "  presented  to  them  the 
smiling  but  unconscious  babe  as  their  future  sove- 
reign, and  assured  them  of  her  determination  to 
consecrate  all  her  energies  to  prepare  her  child  for 
the  distinguished  situation  she  was  destined  to  fill." 
From  that  time  it  was  her  study  to  train  the  young 
queen  for  the  highest  usefulness.  Special  pains 
were  taken  to  guard  against  pride  and  vanity,  and 
all  kindred  evils  that  are  so  prevalent  among  the 
female  sex,  especially  in  royal  families.  When 
public  demonstrations  in  honor  of  the  young  prin- 
cess were  first  made,  her  mother  said  to  her,  "  It 
is  not  you,  but  your  future  office  and  rank,  which 
are  regarded  by  the  country,  and  you  must  so  act 
as  never  to  bring  that  office  and  that  rank  into  dis- 
grace and  disrespect."  In  short,  she  was  educated 
not  to  shine  but  to  act,  not  to  be  a  royal  belle,  but 
a  model  woman.  Her  heart  was  not  cultivated 
less  than  her  intellect.  And  the  good  results  of 
•that  early  culture  are  known  to  the  world. 

The  same  was  true  of  Mrs.  Wesley,  Mrs.  Dodd- 
ridge,  Mrs.  Edwards,  Mrs.  Dwight,  Mrs.  Ramsey, 
and  many  others.  They  were  distinguished  for 
setting  before  their  children  a  high  object  for 


36     THE  GOOD  GIRL  AND  TRUE  WOMAN. 

which  to  live.  Their  instructions,  in  this  particular, 
were  the  same  to  daughters  as  to  sons.  They  be- 
lieved that  the  former  no  less  than  the  latter  should 
be  actuated  by  definite  and  exalted  purposes,  and 

all  their  efforts  were  directed  to  this  end.     Historv 

••• 

proves  that,  so  far  as  their  counsels  were  heeded, 
their  children  rose  to  eminence. 

If  we  trace  the  history  of  any  woman,  who  has 
acted  a  good  part  in  the  humbler  or  higher  walks 
of  life,  we  shall  find  that  she  always  had  a  purpose. 
It  was  true  of  Madame  De  Stael,  Hannah  More, 
Hannah  Adams,  Mrs.  Hancock,  Mrs.  Hemans  and 
Harriet  Newell.  The  latter  became  a  true  hearted 
Christian  in  her  youth,  and  she  resolved  that  her 
influence  should  be  felt  for  good.  She  turned  away 
from  the  follies  and  vanities  of  the  world,  with  the 
unyielding  purpose  to  perform  a  woman's  mission. 
At  seventeen  years  of  age  she  gave  her  heart  and 
hand  to  Mr.  Newell,  who  was  about  going  as  a 
missionary  to  India.  It  was  a  great  step  in  that 
day-dawn  of  missionary  light,  but  it  just  met  her 
resolve  to  do  something  for  the. world.  She  wrote 
to  a  friend,  "  How  can  I  go  and  leave  those  who 
have  done  so  much  for  me,  and  who  will  be  to 
sorry  for  my  loss  ?  How  can  I  leave  my  mother 
here  while  oceans  roll  between  us  ?  How  can  I 
go  with  but  little  prospect  of  return  ?  And  how 
can  I  stay  ?  We  are  under  solemn  obligations  .to 


A   PUBPOSE.  37 

labor  for  God  ;  and  I  must  go  to  India  at  any  sac- 
rifice. I  owe  something  to  my  perishing  fellow- 
men  ;  I  owe  something  to  my  Saviour.  He  wept 
for  men  —  he  shed  tears  over  Jurusalem. 

'Did  Christ  o'er  sinners  weep? 
And  shall  our  cheeks  be 


The  author  is  acquainted  with  a  young  woman 
whose  father  was  intemperate.  This  vice  destroyed 
his  character,  and  wasted  his  property.  He  be- 
came poor,  and  expected  to  leave  the  little  farm 
which  he  had  called  his  own.  The  daughter  pon- 
dered their  condition,  and  laid  her  plans.  She  pro- 
posed to  her  father,  that  if  he  would  relinquish  the 
use  of  strong  drink,  she  would  assist  him  to  redeem 
his  farm  and  his  character.  He  accepted  this  pro- 
position, and  the  daughter  accordingly  fitted  her- 
self for  a  teacher.  The  teach  of  an  academy 
hearing  of  her  praiseworthy  ob/.  ,  offered  her  the 
advantages  of  the  institution  without  money,  and  a 
worthy  matron  received  her  into  her  family  for  her 
company  and  assistance  while  she  pursued  her 
studies.  For  some  years  she  has  been  pursuing  her 
single  object,  and  the  avails  of  her  teaching  have 
been  carefully  husbanded  to  aid  the  father  in  recov- 
ering his  wasted  fortune.  We  understand  that  the 
father  holds  out  in  the  path  of  sobriety,  encouraged 
4 


38     THE  GOOD  GIRL  AND  TRUE  WOMAN. 

by  tire  self-denial  and  persevering  labors  of  his 
daughter,  and  that  the  day  is  not  far  distant  when 
the  loved  homestead  will  again  be  his.  This  young 
woman's  life  will  be  far  more  brilliant  and  valuable 
in  consequence  of  its  being  directed  by  a  worthy 
and  inflexible  purpose. 

Girls,  then,  should  stop  and  inquire,  why  do  we 
live  f  Surely  they  should  live  for  something.  Those 
who  live  for  they  know  not  what  are  living  as  the 
brutes  live.  They  have  no  plan  of  life.  They 
have  no  fixed  principles  of  action.  Life  to  them  is 
unreal  —  a  day-dream  of  pleasure.  Strange  de- 
lusion! Life  means  something  —  momentous  re- 
sults depend  upon  the  manner  it  is  lived.  The 
poorest  and  humblest  girl  can  adorn  it  with  a  bright 
career. 


CHAPTER    III. 


A    GIRL'S    MISTAKE. 

4 

POSITION  AND  DUTY — '.IANY  GIRLS  DESIRE  THE  FORMER  —  DESPISE 
LABOH  —  MARRY  UK  PRINCIPLED  YOUNG  MEN  FOR  BEAUTY  OR 
MONEY  —  THOUGHTL  Z88NE88  RESULTS  —  QUEEN  ELIZABETH  — 
CONFESSION  OF  PRINOE88  AMELIA  —  CONTRA8TEB  WITH  SEEKING 
HAPPINESS  IN  DOING  DUTY  —  A  YOUNG  LADY  AT  THE  WEST  — 
MARY  LYON  ALWAVS  ASKED,  "WHAT  IS  DUTY?"  —  HER  COUN- 
SELS TO  PUPILS  —  HER  REGARD  FOR  DUTY  IN  VIEW -OP  DEATH 
SUBLIME — DISCHARGE  OF  DUTY  NEVER  REGRETTED  —  WOED8  OF 
ELIZABETH  HEKVEY  DYING  ON  MISSIONARY  GROUND. 


GIBLS  are  apt  to  think  that  the  happiness  of  life 
is  derived  from  position  rather  than  from  a  faithful 
discharge  of  duty.  Hence  their  desire  for  those 
external  things,  which  perish  with  the  using.  Go, 
ask  that  flitting,  sylph-like  girl,  whose  eye  beams 
with  hope  and  intelligence,  what  will  satisfy  her 
heart  and  make  her  happy,  as  she  blooms  into  wo- 
manhood. Does  she  answer,  "  DOING  MY  DUTY  ?  " 
Nay.  But  you  read  in  every  lineament  of  her 
face,  in  her  laughing  eye  and  bounding  heart, 
"  Give  me  position  !  Let  wealth  be  mine,  and  let 
me  be  dandled  in  the  lap  of  luxury,  while  admirers 
flock  around  my  path,  and'  grace  and  beauty  be- 


40      THE  GOOD  GIRL  AND  TRUE  WOMAN. 

come  my  passport  to  honored  circles.  And  when 
my  hand  and  heart  are  claimed  for  a  life-alliance, 
may  it-  be  by  some  distinguished  votary  of  pleasure, 
affluence,  or  fame,  who  can  usher  me  into  ygt  higher 
circles  of  elegance  and  fashion."  Such  are  really 
the  views  and  feelings  of  many  girls  concerning  the 
sources  of  earthly  happiness.  DUTY  is  a  common 
and  homely  word,  Whose  claims  they  leave  for  older 
and  graver  people  to  discuss.  To  them  it  is  a  stern, 
unmusical  word,  scarcely  suited  to  the  ears  and 
tastes  of  ardent  youth.  They  prefer  to  pass  it  by 
for  the  present,  resolved  that,  when  age  modifies 
their  love  of  worldly  attainments,  they  will  attend 
to  the  rigid  demands  of  duty. 

Here  is  the  mistake  of  thousands ;  —  a  mistake 
which  interferes  with  the  great  purpose  of  life,  and 
yields  bitter  fruits  both  in  this  world  and  the  next. 
It  is  this  mistake  which  leads  so  many  young  fe- 
males to  be  vain  and  proud.  Believing  that  po- 
sition will  bring  the  coveted  enjoyment  of  life,  they, 
are  led  to  strive  after  those  things  which  charac- 
terize the  so-called  higher  circles.  They  ape  the 
manners  and  customs  of  those  circles,  and  study  to 
produce  effect  upon  beholders.  It  is  this,  too, 
which  causes  them  to  believe  that  certain  female 
employments  are  degrading,  however  useful  and 
necessary  they  may  be.  They  think  that  a  certain 
rank  confers  honor  upon  woman,  thus  entirely  for- 


A  GIRL'S  MISTAKE.  41 

getting  that  qualities  of  heart  have  any  thing  to  do 
with  her  dignity.  Practically  denying  the  couplet, 

"  Honor  and  shame  from  no  condition  rise, 
Act  well  your  part — there  all  the  honor  lies," 

they  erroneously  conclude  that  labor  of  almost  any 
kind  is  not  lady-like.  Hence  their  desire  to  be 
raised  above  the  necessity  of  labor.  They  would 
not  be  obliged  to  earn  a  livelihood  because  it  com- 
promits  their  dignity,  as  they  think.  In  conse- 
quence, we  see  young  ladies  accepting  the  at- 
tentions of  unprincipled  young  men,  who  have 
honored  ancestry  and  influence  on  their  side,  in 
preference  to  those  of  humble  origin  and  circum- 
stances, though  possessing  the  highest  virtues. 
Thousands  of  young  ladies  marry  young  men  for 
their  beauty  and  rank,  without  the  slightest  ref- 
erence to*  their  moral  characters.  The  painful 
result  is  well  known  to  the  world. 

Nor  is  this  the  worst  thing  resulting  from  the 
mistake  in  question.  It  renders  girlhood  thought- 
less and  worldly.  It  leaves  the  matter  of  personal 
obligation  and  accountability  unsettled.  The  err- 
ing one  scarcely  dreams  that  she  is  responsible  to 
God  for  the  means  of  influence  which  she  possesses. 
She  overlooks  the  nature  and  wants  of  the  soul, 
and  li ves  regardless  of  eternal  realities.  When  her 
4* 


42  THE    GOOD   GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

eyes  are  opened  to  behold  her  mistake,  it  is  gen- 
erally too  late  to  avert  impending  doom.  Thus  it 
was  with  the  once  haughty  daughter  of  the  Tudors, 
Elizabeth,  Queen  of  England.  She  was  a  girl  of 
mark,  and  gloried  in  her  royal  rank.  She  relied 
upon  external  distinctions  for  enjoyment.  It  was 
the  climax  of  her  ambition  to  command  the  insignia 
of  royalty.  She  thought  her  cup  of  earthly  joy 
would  be  filled  to  the  brim  when  England  should 
call  her  queen.  Thus  she  lived,  a  devoted  wor- 
shipper at  the  shrine  of  position.  It  was  her  all. 
Time  rolled  on,  and  she  was  crowned  queen  of 
England.  She  had  wealth,  fame,  and  power,  intel- 
ligence, learning  and  admirers ;  and  upon  these  she 
relied  for  enjoyment.  But  sickness  came  in  the 
midst  of  her  royal  joys,  and  death  waited  at  her 
palace  gate.  For  the  first  time  in  her  life  she  be- 
held her  fatal  mistake ;  but  the  die  was  cast.  It 
was  too  late  to  correct  her  error,  and  her  destiny 
was  sealed.  Her  soul  writhed  in  agony  in  view  of 
a  misspent  life,  and  the  terrible  reality  before  her. 
There  was  nothing  in  the  past  to  be  seen  but  her 
sad  mistake,  and  nothing  in  the  future  but  its 
fearful  results.  She  could  neither  live  nor  die  in 
peace.  Her  life  closed  in  midnight  gloom. 

Such  are  some  of  the  bitter  fruits  of  the  mistake 
in  question,  found  among  the  highest  and  humblest 
families.  Like  the  Princess  Amelia,  many  have 


A    GIRL'S    MISTAKE.  43 

confessed  their  folly  later  in  life,  as  a  warning  to 
their  sex  who  might  come  after  them.  She  spent 
her  girlhood  depending  upon  external  possessions 
for  enjoyment.  She  looked  not  higher,  nor  sighed 
for  anything  better.  Thus  she  lived;  and  finally 
left  her  confession  and  warning  in  the  following 
lines : 

"  Unthinking,  idle,  wild,  and  young, 
I  laughed,  and  danced,  and  talked,  and  sung; 
And  proud  of  health,  of  freedom  vain, 
Breamed  not  of  sorrow,  care,  or  pain; 
Concluding  in  these  hours  of  glee, 
That  all  the  world  was  made  for  me; 
But  when  the  hour  of  trial  came, 
When  sickness  shook  this  trembling  frame, 
When  folly's  gay  pursuits  were  o'er, 
And  I  could  dance  and  sing  no  more, 
It  then  occurred  how  sad  't  would  be, 
Were  this  world  only  made  for  me." 

We  have  cited  two  examples  from  the  most  ex- 
alted rank  of  life ;  and  now  we  ask  the  reader  to 
contrast  it  with  the  following,  where  the  person 
found  all  her  satisfaction  in  the  discharge  of  duty. 
Not  long  since,  a  young  lady  in  a  western  city 
concluded  that  duty  required  her  to  become«  tract 
distributor.  She  had  qualifications  that  would 
have  given  her  an  honorable  place  in  almost  any 
circle ;  but  she  preferred  to  walk  in  the  path  of  duty 


44  THE    GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

rather  than  command  the  most  attractive  position. 
One  day  as  she  was  going  through  her  allotted  dis- 
trict upon  her  benevolent  errand,  she  met  a  foreign 
gentleman,  and  presented  him  a  tract  entitled, 
"  The  Worth  of  the  Soul."  He  received  it  with  a 
smile,  and  inquired  the  price  of  it.  On  being  told 
that  it  was  a  gift,  he  kindly  thanked  her,  and  pro- 
mised to  become  acquainted  with  its  contents.  They 
separated,  and  he  at  once  began  to  spell  out  the 
tract.  His  acquaintance  with  the  English  language 
was  very  limited ;  but  he  succeeded  in  spelling  out 
the  first  sentence,  "Knowest  thou,  O  man,  that 
thou  hast  a  soul  ?  "  He  was  deeply  impressed  by 
this 'solemn  inquiry;  and,  in  a  short  time,  he  and 
his  wife  were  seekers  of  religion  in  the  vestry  of  an 
evangelical  church.  Suffice  to  say,  both  became 
Christians.  One  evening  this  gentleman  was  re- 
lating his  experience  in  meeting,  when  he  said, 
"  God  bless  that  young  lady,  who  gave  me  that 
little  book ;  oh,  I  wish»I  knew  who  she  was,  so  that 
I  could  again  thank  her  for  that  gift."  As  these 
words  dropped  from  his  lips,  the  young  lady,  who 
was  present,  arose,  went  to  him,  and  announced 
that  she  gave  him  the  tract.  The  converted  man 
was  aWnost  overcome  by  his  feelings.  He  at- 
tempted to  express  his  gratitude,  but  language 
failed  him,  and  he  burst  into  a  flood  of  tears,  as  he 
threw  himself  upon  her  neck.  Tears  of  joy  flowed 


A    GIRL'S    MISTAKE.  45 

down  the  young  lady's  face,  while  many  in  the  con- 
gregation wept  over  the  affecting  scene.  What  a 
blissful  moment  to  that  young  woman !  For  all  the 
joys  that  rank  and  possession  promise,  she  would 
not  have  parted  with  the  happiness  of  that  hour. 
In  the  humble  discharge  of  duty  she  found  more 
enjoyment  than  England's  haughty  queen  derived 
from  her  royal  splendor.  And  how  much  more 
beautiful  is  such  an  act  in  the  female  character  I 
How  much  more  worthy  an  immortal  being !  How 
much  more  dignified  and  honorable  ! 

Here  the  character  of  Mary  Lyon  shines  with 
peculiar  lustre.  From  her  youth  she  was  accus- 
tomed to  ask,  what  is  duty  f  and  not,  what  ad- 
vantage will  position  give  f  Nor  did  she  aim  to 
discharge  duty  for  the  sake  of  the  enjoyment  to  be 
derived  therefrom.  It-  was  for  duty's  sake  alone 
that  she  would  meet  her  personal  obligations. 
She  devoted  herself  to  teaching,  from  this  high 
consideration.  She  never  4eft  one  school  for  an- 
other until  this  point  was  settled  conscientiously. 
Higher  wages  alone  did  not  influence  her  to  re- 
linquish one  field  for  another.  Sometimes  she 
declined  the  offer  of  more  remuneration  in  another 
place,  because  she  believed  that  duty  bade  her 
remain  where  she  was.  When  she  was  teacher  at 
Mount  Holyoke  Seminary,  she  never  failed  to  hold 
up  this  high  -staudafTl  to  her  scholars.  They  can 


46     THE  GOOD  GIRL  AND  TRUE  WOMAN. 

now  testify  to  the  fervor  and  eloquence  with  which 
she  often  discoursed  upon  this  subject.  "Do  not 
think  of  filthy  lucre  and  immortal  minds  together," 
she  would  say.  "  Dollars  and  cents  can  never  pay 
the  faithful  minister,  nor  the  faithful  teacher.  The 
field  is  all  white,  and  whoever  has  a  willing  heart 
may  sharpen  her  sickle,  and  help  gather  in  the 
harvest."  Again  she  would  add,  "  Do  not  say  you 
would  like  to  take  a  few  music  scholars,  or  to  assist 
in  an  academy.  Labor  for  the  degraded.  Take 
hold  where  no  one  else  will."  In  other  words,  go 
where  duty  calls.  She  taught  her  pupils  in  this 
way,  because  such  had  been  her  convictions  from 
early  life.  She  taught  as  she  had  lived.  She  had 
V  learned  from  happy  experience  that  no  enjoyment 
can  equal  that  which  flows  from  the  faithful  dis- 
charge of  duty. 

There  is  one  passage  in  her  life  that  is  truly 
sublime,  in  consequence  of  the  firm,  inflexible  pur- 
pose, with  which  this  consideration  was  maintained. 
A  fatal  disease  appeared  in  the  Seminary,  and  one 
of  the  pupils  lay  at  the  door  of  death.  When  the 
nature  of  the  disease  was  announced  to  the  school, 
many  of  them  were  filled  with  alarm.  Miss  Lyon 
beheld  this  state  of  things  with  regret,  and  she 
finally  assembled  the  school  for  the  purpose  of  im- 
parting such  moral  and  religious  lessons  as  the 
occasion  required.  They  cfltne  together  with  anx- 


A    GIRL'S    MISTAKE.  47 

ions  looks  and  trembling  hearts.  She  impressed 
npon  them  the  comforting  docti'ine  of  Divine  Pro- 
vidence, and  closed  her  address  with  these  memo- 
rable words,  "  SHALL  WE  FEAR  WHAT  GOD  is  ABOUT 
TO  DO  ?  THERE  is  NOTHING  IN  THE  UNIVERSE  THAT 

I  PEAR,  BUT  THAT  I  SHALL  NOT  KNOW  ALL  MY  DUTY, 

OR  FAIL  TO  DO  IT."  It  was  her  last  instruction  to 
her  school ;  for,  on  the  following  day,  the  dreaded 
malady  prostrated  her,  and  in  a  single  week  she 
passed  to  the  spirit-land.  The  words  are  inscribed 
upon  the  east  side  of  the  beautiful  monument 
erected  over  her  remains.  They  are  worthy  of  that 
place,  that  every  pupil,  and  every  traveller,  who 
lingers  to  read  thereon  the  recosd  of  her  life  and 
death,  may  be  impressed  with  the  sacred  demands 
of  DUTY. 

Let  the  reader  imitate  the  noble,  Christe-like  ex- 
ample of  Miss  Lyon,  and  thereby  avoid  the  com- 
mon mistake  of  girls.  There  never  comes  a  time 
in  the  -life  of  male  or  female  when  adherence  to 
duty  is  the  subject  of  regret.  Even  when  the 
severest  trials  and  hardships  are  experienced  in 
consequence,  this  exalted  principle  of  .action  opens 
a  spring  of  joy  in  the  soul.  On  this  account,  that 
devoted  missionary,  Elizabeth  Hervey,  could  say, 
as  she  lay  dying  in  a  distant  land,  "  Now  tell  my 
friends,  tell  my  beloved  pastor,  tell  the  dear  church 
in  Hadley,  that  I  do  not,  and  never  have  for  a  mo- 


48      THE  GOOD  GIRL  AND  TKUE  WOMAN. 

merit  regretted  that  I  came  here.  No ;  had  I 
foreseen  this  hour,  and  all  I. have  endured  since  I 
left  America,  I  should  have  decided  just  as  I  did, 
if  the  path  of  duty  had  been  as  plain  as  it  appeared 
to  be."  The  motto  of  every  girl  should  be, 

DUTY  BEFORE  POSITIOH. 


CHAPTER    IV. 


FEMALE     INFLUENCE. 


BEMARK  OF  A  QIRL  —  ERRONEOUS  VIEWS — FEMALE 

REMARKS  OF  ADOLPH  MONOD  —  OF  REV.  J.  A.  JAMES  —  INFLU- 
ENCE OF  WIVES  AND  MOTHERS  —  CASE  OF  GENERAL  HOUSTON  — 
THAT  OF  SIR  JAMES  MACKINTOSH  —  WIVES  OF  THE  GENERALS 
HOWE  —  MOTHER  OF  JOHN  QUINCY  ADAMS  —  OF  REV.  BICHARD 
KNILL  —  OF  BACON,  DWIGHT,  NEWTON,  ETC.  —  ALL  COUNTRIES 
GOVERNED  BY  WOMEN  —  MOTHER  OF  WASHINGTON  —  DISCOVERY 
OF  AMERICA  PARTLY  DUE  TO  WOMA.N  —  SO  ORIGIN  OF  INFANT 
SCHOOLS — EFFORTS  IN  WORKS  OF  MERCY  —  MOHAWK  INDIANS  — 
FEMALES  DECIDE  MORALS  —  EXAMPLE  OF  MARY  LYON  —  HER 
SEMINARY  —  HER  THREE  THOUSAND  PUPILS  —  SKETCH  OF  ONE  OF 
TIIEM  —  A  HUNDRED  THOUSAND  TEACHERS — CONVERSION  OF  PU- 
PILS—  HER  INFLUENCE  EQUALS  THAT  OF  ANY  STATESMAN — ( 
HANNAH  MORE  — CONCLUSION. 


"  INFLUENCE  ! "  exclaimed  a  sprightly  miss,  in 
reply  to  a  remark  upon  the  subject,  "a  woman 
have  influence  upon  society !  It  is  no  such  thing. 
Not  half  the  wives  even  can  influence  their  hus- 
bands a  whit,  and  I  am  sure  that  half  the  mothers 
fail  to  persuade  their  children  to  do  right."  Like 
many  other  girls,  she  had  no  just  idea  of  what 
female  influence  is.  Perhaps  here  may  be  found 
a  reason  for  the  want  of  effort  among  females  to 
accomplish  noble  things.  It  is  certain  that  the 
5 


50      THE  GOOD  GIRL  AND  TRUE  WOMAN. 

conviction  of  incompetency,  in  this  regard,  must 
disqualify  a  young  woman  for  efioctive  labor.  Let 
us,  then,  see  what  the  influence  o :'  woman  is  in  this 
world  of  ours. 

Adolph  Monod,  a  distinguished  French'  writer, 
opens  one  of  his  works  by  saying,  "  The  greatest 
influence  on  earth,  whether  for  good  or  for  evil,  is 
possessed  by  woman.  Let  us  study  the  history  of 
by-gone  ages  —  the  state  of  barbarism  and  civil- 
ization ;  of  the  East  and  the  West ;  of  Paganism 
and  Christianity ;  of  antiquity  and  the  middle  ages ; 
of  mediaeval  and  modern  times  —  and  we  shall  find 
that  there  is  nothing  which  more  decidedly  sep- 
arates them  than  the  condition  of  woman." 

Says  Rev.  John  Angell  James :  "  Every  wo- 
,  man,  whether  rich  or  poor,  married  or  single,  has  a 
circle  of  influence,  within  which,  according  to  her 
character,  she  is  exerting  a  certain  amount  of 
power  for  good  or  harm.  Every  woman  by  her 
virtue  or  her  vice,  by  her  folly  or  her  wisdom,  by 
her  levity  or  her  dignity,  is  adding  something  to 
our  national  elevation  or  degradation  ....  To  a 
certain  extent,  woman  is  the  conservator  of  a  na- 
tion's welfare.  Her  virtue,  if  firm  and  uncorrupted, 
will  stand  sentinel  over  that  of  empire  ....  A 
community  is  not  likely  to  be  overthrown,  where 
woman  fulfils  her  mission ;  or,  by  the  power  of  her 
noble  heart  over  the  heai-ts  of  others,  she  will  raise 


FEMALE    INFLUENCE.  51 

it  from  its  ruins,  and  restore  it  again  to  prosperity 
and  joy." 

In  the  relation  of  wives  and  mothers  we  find 
striking  proof  of  the  power  of  female  influence. 
When  General  Samuel  Houston  was  in  one  of  the 
Atlantic  states,  he  was  invited  one  evening  to  visit 
a  place  of  popular  amusement,  which  he  at  once 
declined,  saying,  "  You  are  doubtless  aware  that  a 
portion  of  my  life  was  clouded  by  an  intense  de- 
votion to  most  of  the  customs  and  fashions  of  so- 
ciety, and  that,  in  consequence,  I  became  degraded, 
and  was  shunned  by  the  wise  and  good.  My 
humiliation  was  the  greater,  because  I  had  formerly 
stood  well  in  the  esteem  of  my  fellow-citizens.  My 
downfall  was  owing  to  the  evil  ways  of  society,  but 
still  it  was  my  own  fault.  In  this  condition,  she  who 
is  now  my  wife,  awoke  a  desire  for  reform ;  she  in- 
spired me,  she  guided  me,  she  aided  me,  and  to  her 
kind  and  unwearied  efforts  is  due  my  redemption 
from  the  thraldom  of  evil  habits.  Yes,  sir,  humanly 
speaking,  I  owe  to  her  all  I  am,  or  that  I  hope  to 
be,  in  time  and  eternity.  She  is  a  praying  wo- 
man, a  member,  of  a  Christian  church.  Some  time 
ago,  I  resolved,  by  the  help  of  God,  never  to  per- 
form an  act  having  any  moral  bearing,  which  tfould 
not  be  approved  by  my  good  wife.  I  know  she 
disapproves  of  this  species  of  amusement,  and  would 
wish  me  not  to  attend,  because  its  tendencies  are 


52       THE  GOOD  GIRL  AND  TRUE  WOMAN. 

evil,  and  it  is  unnecessary ;  and  I  agree  with  her  in 
opinion.  You  will,  therefore,  I  trust,  allow  that  I 
have  reasons,  which  should  have  weight  with  any 
true  man,  for  not  accepting  your  invitation." 

Sir  James  Mackintosh  said  of  his  wife,  after  her 
decease :  "  She  gently  reclaimed  me  from  dissi- 
pation, she  propped  my  weak  and  irresolute  nature, 
she  ui'ged  my  indolence  to  all  the  exertions  that 
have  been  useful  or  creditable  to  me,  and  she  was 
perpetually  at  hand  to  admonish  my  heedlessness 
and  improvidence.  To  her  I  owe  whatever  I  am 
—  to  her  whatever  I  shall  be." 

In  the  time  of  the  American  Revolution,  John 
Adams  wrote  to  his  wife  from  Philadelphia :  "  I  be- 
lieve the  two  Howes  have  not  very  great  women 
for  their  wives.  If  they  had,  we  should  suifer  more 
from  their  exertions  than  we  do.  This  is  our  good 
fortune.  A  smart  wife  would  have  put  Howe  in 
possession  of  Philadelphia  a  long  time  ago." 

John  Quincy  Adams  once  spoke  of  his  mother's 
influence  as  follows :  "  It  is  due  to  gratitude  and 
nature  that  I  should  acknowledge  and  avow  that, 
such  as  I  have  been,  whatever  it  was,  such  as  I  am, 
whatever  it  is,  and  such  as  I  hope  to  be  in  all 
futtfrity,  must  be  ascribed,  under  Providence,  to 
the  precepts  and  example  of  my  mother." 

Said  Rev.  Richard  Knill :  "  I  have  a  vivid  recol- 
lection of  the  effect  of  maternal  influence.  My 


FEMALE    INFLUENCE.  53 

honored  mother  was  a  religious  woman,  and  she 
watched  over  and  instructed  me  as  pious  mothers 
are  accustomed  to  do.  Alas !  I  often  forgot  her 
admonitions;  but  in  my  most  thoughtless  days  I 
never  lost  the  impressions  which  her  holy  example 
had  made  on  my  mind." 

Other  distinguished  men,  as  Bacon,  Dwight, 
Newton  and  Edwards  have  borne  similar  testimony 
to  the  influence  of  their  mothers.  So  generally 
true  is  it  that  great  and  good  men  owe  much  of 
their  characters  and  fame  to  maternal  training, 
that  some  one  has  said,  "  Good  professors  can  make 
good  scholars,  but  good  mothers  alone  can  make 
good  men." 

Such  is  the  influence  of  woman  in  every  land. 
The  testimony  of  the  best  writers  of  every  age 
agrees  with  the  quotations  we  have  made.  In 
view  of  the  fact,  can  a  young  lady  say  that  there  is 
no  opportunity  for  her  to  exert  an  influence  upon 
society  ?  Nothing  but  ignorance  of  what  has  been 
accomplished  by  her  sex  can  lead  her  to  this  con- 
clusion. Some  writer  has  said  that  "there  is  no 
country  on  earth,  except  France,  which  woman  has 
not  governed."  Does  the  reader  say,  "  she  has  not 
governed  America  ?  "  She  has  governed  it,  if  we 
judge  by  the  rule  of  the  illustrious  Cato.  Said 
he;  "The  Romans  govern  the  world,  but  it  is  the 
women  that  govern  the  Romans."  So  Washington 


H  THE    GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WO  .MAN. 

not  only  governed  but  made  our  country  what  it 
;s ;  but  his  gifted  mother  governed  and  made  him. 
Read  history,  and  we  learn  that  to  a  female, 
Isabella  of  Spain,  Columbus  owed  his  success  in  the 
discovery  of  this  continent.  But  for  her  timely 
interposition  and  aid,  his  enterprise  would  have 
been  abandoned.  The  existence  of  the  first  pri- 
mary and  infant  schools  found  in  the  annals  of  ed- 
ucation is  traced  to  a  few  young  ladies  in  the  town 
of  Newburyport,  Mass.,  seventy-five  years  ago.  And 
how  many  of  the  humane  enterprises  of  the  present 
and  past,  how  many  of  the  philanthropic  and  mis- 
sionary movements,  owe,  not  only  their  prosperity, 
but  their  very  existence  to  woman's  endeavors.  The 
females  of  even  savage  tribes  have  exerted  a  pow- 
erful influence  in  this  particular.  Some  years  since, 
when  the  males  of  the  Mohawk  tribe  were  much 
debased  by  intemperance,  and  were  embroiled  in 
sanguinary  wars  with  neighboring  Indians,  the  wo- 
men resolved  to  remove  the  evils.  They  called  a 
council  of  their  own  sex,  and  devised  measures  for 
the  suppression  of  intemperance,  and  the  termin- 
ation of  war,  and  their  efforts  were  crowned  with 
success.  It  is  an  illustration  of  female  influence  in 
alleviating  the  sufferings  and  sorrows  of  mankind. 
What  work  of  kindness  or  charity  is  prosecuted 
without  the  aid  of  woman  ?,  Is  not  the  cooperation 
of  the  female  sex  considered  indispensable  to  success 


FEMALE    INFLUENCE.  55 

in  all  benevolent  movements  ?  Without  their  sym- 
pathies all  such  causes  languish,  while  with  them 
they  flourish.  Indeed,  such  is  woman's  influence, 
we  may  add,  that  she  decides  social  morality.  If 
her  standard  of  excellence  is  high,  the  society  in 
which  she  moves  will  be  elevated.  If  otherwise, 
the  morals  of  the  community  will  be  loose.  Let  her 
treat  religion  lightly,  and  the  men  will  rail  about 
it  as  infidels  of  the  lowest  school.  Let  her  speak 
contemptuously  of  temperance,  and  men  will  plunge 
madly  into  inebriation.  So  great  is  the  power  of 
her  precepts  and  example !  No  community  is 
ever  better  than  its  females.  With  them  it  rises  or 
falls  in  the  scale  of  moral  character. 

But  we  can  scarcely  find  a  more  remarkable  ex- 
ample of  female  influence  than  that  of  Mary  Lyon. 
She  never  enterfUfhed  such  false  ideas  of  the  mis- 
sion of  her  sex"  as  the  girl  whose  remark  we  quoted 
at  the  opening  of  this  chapter.  Even  as  early  as 
fourteen  years  of  age,  she  had  exalted  ideas  of  the 
influence  of  a  teacher.  As  she  advanced  in  years, 
this  view  acquired  strength,  and  resolved  itself  into 
more  definite  form.  It  was  a  theme  upon  which 
she  dwelt  often  in  addressing  her  pupils.  She 
taught  them  to  guard  against  the  idea  that  they 
must  be  ciphers  in  the  world,  and  aim  to  make 
their  mark  upon  society  wherever  they  might  live, 
and  very  few  of  her  pupils  left  her  without  being 


56     THE  GOOD  CURL  AND  TRUE  WOMAN. 

% 

fully  convinced  that  if  their  influence  was  not  felt 
in  the  social  circles  it  would  be  their  own  fault. 

Look  at  her  own  Seminary  at  South  Hadley  as  a 
living  proof  of  her  great  influence.  It  was  through 
her  own  agency  entirely  that  such  an  institution 
exists;  and  the  first  thousand  dollars  which  she 
collected  for  the  work  was  given  by  females  — 
almost  three  hundred  dollars  of  it  by  the  pupils  of 
her  own  school  at  Ipswich,  Mass.,  where  she  was 
then  teaching.  She  was  obliged  to  encounter 
apathy,  popular  prejudice,  and  even  opposition, 
among  the  very  class  to  whom  she  looked  for  sym- 
pathy; but  every  obstacle  finally  yielded  before 
her  influence. 

Think,  too,  of  her  instructions  to  more  than 
THREE  THOUSAND  young  ladies ;  and  these  going 
forth  to  teach  in  this  and  other  lands,  and  to  fill 
places  of  influence  as  wives  and  mothers.  Each 
one  was  prepared  by  her  teacher's  lessons  to  im- 
press society,  more  or  less,  by  her  character.  Her 
good  influence  was  but  that  of  her  faithful  teacher 
reduplicated,.  Take  one  case  for  illustration.  A 
young  lady  fitted  herself  for  a  teacher  under  Miss 
Lyon,  and  went  to  a  distant  territory  of  the  West. 
She  took  up  her  abode  with  a  married  sister,  who 
lived  in  very  humble  circumstances.  "  In  a  small 
room  of  their  small  house "  she  opened  a  school, 
and  fifteen  scholars  attended,  French,  Dutch,  and 


FEMALE    INFLUENCE.  57 

Yankees,  all  together.  The  school  increased  in 
numbers,  and  finally  the  house  became  too  strait 
for  them.  The  result  was,  that  a  building  was 
erected  for  the  school,  which  soon  after  numbered 
more  than  a  hundred.  That  territory  has  become  a 
State,  and  some  of  its  most  prominent  citizens  were 
once  the  pupils  of  this  female  teacher.  She  is  known 
in  almost  every  town  thereof,  and  thousands  are 
ready  to  rise  up  and  call  her  blessed.  But  her  in- 
fluence is  only  one  of  the  many  streams  which  Mary 
Lyon  caused  to  flow  in  almost  every  State  of  the 
Union,  as  well  as  on  heathen  shores.  If  one  of  her 
pupils  accomplished  so  much,  then  what  would  ten, 
one  hundred,  a  thousand,  do,  at  home  and  abroad  ? 
Suppose  that  one-third  of  the  three  thousand  pupils 
whom  she  instructed  became  teachers,  and  that 
each  one  of  these  qualified  only  one  hundred  each, 
in  their  turn,  to  instruct ;  then  the  thousand  young 
teachers  whom  she  sent  forth  would  have  qualified 
one  hundred  thousand  for  the  same  office.  How 
rapidly  and  wonderfully  her  own  influence  multiplies 
through  these  representatives !  • 

Nor  is  this  the  best  view  of  her  influence.  She 
labored  for  the  salvation  ofi.  her  pupils,  and  every 
year  but  the  first  of  her  teaching  at  South  Hadley 
witnessed  a  powerful  revival  in  her  school.  Of 
sixty-six  unconverted  young  ladies  in  the  insti- 
tution at  one  time,  sixty  were  converted.  Many 


58      THE  GOOD  G1BL  AND  TRUE  WOMAN. 

of  her  pious  scholars  became  the  wives  of  cler 
gymen,  and  were  thus  introduced  into  fields  of 
extensive  usefulness.  About  forty  of  them  became 
missionaries,  many  of  whose  names  are  now  familiar 
and  precious  to  the  church.  Who,  then,  can  esti- 
mate the  influence  of  this  one  woman  ?  Through 
her  scholars  it  is  felt  in  nearly  every  land  where  the 
Gospel  is  proclaimed.  Though  she  lies  silent  in 
the  grave,  her  lessons  of  wisdom  are  still  guiding 
and  controlling  the  hearts  of  thousand*.  Where  is 
the  statesman  or  legislator  who  has  accomplished 
more  for  his  race  than  she  ?  Does  not  her  influ- 
ence, though  a  woman,  compare  favorably  with 
that  of  the  ablest  men,  who  have  swayed  senates, 
or  sat  on  thrones  of  power  ? 

She  reminds  us  of  Hannah  More,  who  at  one 
time  had  a  thousand  pupils  under  her  care.  Per- 
haps the  latter  reached  more  minds  than  Mary 
Lyon  ;  we  are  quite  sure,  however,  that  she  did 
not  qualify  so  many  for  extensive  usefulness.  And 
yet  we  gladly  refer  to  her  as  an  eminent  example 
of  female  influence. 

So  long  as  the  life  of  Mary  Lyon  stands  recorded, 
no  girl  can  say  that  her  own  influence  must  be  small. 
If  the  circumstances  of  any  girl  at  sixteen  authorize 
this  plea,  then  this  would  have  been  the  case  with 
her.  Was  she  not  poor  ?  Was  she  not  of  bumble 
origin  ?  Were  not  her  privileges  small  ?  And  yet 
her  influence  has  been  felt  around  the  world. 


CHAPTER    V. 


A.     GIRL'S    MISSION. 


FOR  WHAT  SPHERE  SHALL  A  GIRL  PREPARE?  —  GIRLS  HAVE  A 
MISSION  AS  REALLY  AS  BOYS  —  SHE  IS  QUALIFIED  FOR  ERRANDS 
OF  MERCY  —  TESTIMONY  OF  LEDYARD  —  OF  MUNGO  PARK —  OF  A 
FUGITIVE  FROM  THE  OLD  JERSEY  PRISON-SHIP  —  LABORS  OF  SA- 
KAH  HOFFMAN,  MISS  DIX,  MRS.  FRY,  AND  COUNTESS  OF  HUNT- 
INGDON— 'OF  MRS.  JUDSON,  HARRIET  STEWART,  ETC.  —  LINES  OP 
MRS.  8IGOURNEY  —  A  SISTER'S  POWER  OVER  AN  INSANE  BROTH- 
ER —  HER  INFANT  IN  HIS  ARMS  —  THE  OFFICE  OF  NURSE  —  RE» 
MARKS  OF  MRS.  O88OLI  —  THE  OFFICE  OF  TEACHER — REMARKS 
OP  DR.  WAYLAND  —  SIXTY  THOUSAND  TEACHERS  WANTED  — 
REMARKS  OP  MARY  LTON  —  HER  LIFE  AS  TEACHER  —  MRS.  RE- 
BECCA MOTTE  —  MANUAL  EMPLOYMENT  —  MISSIONARY  WORK  — 
HOME  DUTIES  —  PREPARATION  FOR  THESE  QUALIFIES  FOE  OTHER 
SPHERES  —  "WOMAN'S  RIGHTS"  —  JOAN  OF  ABC  AND  ABBY 
KELLEY  FOSTER — MARY  LYON  —  POETRY. 


"  WELL,"  says  the  reader,  "  suppose  I  have  a 
purpose,  and  appreciate  the  power  of  female  influ- 
ence, what  shall  I  be?  I  should  not  know  for 
what  sphere  of  labor  to  prepare."  I  answer,  cul- 
tivate your  mind  and  heart  in  due  proportions,  and 
make  yourself  familiar  with  domestic  duties,  and 
you  will  be  prepared  for  any  sphere.  Then  you 
can  become  teacher  or  nurse,  seamstress  or  phi- 
lanthropist, wife  or  mother,  without  much  incou- 


60      THE  GOOD  GIKL  AND  TRUE  WOMAX. 

venience.  But  this  inquiry,  "  What  shall  I  be  ?  " 
deserves  a  more  definite  answer.  Every  girl  has  a 
mission  to  perform  as  really  as  every  boy,  and  her 
mission  is  no  less  important.  What  sphere  of  duty 
opens  before  her  ? 

In  the  first  place,  she  is  qualified  by  nature  for 
ministrations  of  love  and  kindness  to  the  unfor- 
tunate and  suffering  members  of  the  human  family. 
The  female  sex  are  universally  acknowledged  to  ho 
better  suited  to  perform  errands  of  mercy  than 
males.  Their  tenderness,  sensibility,  and  fervent 
sympathies  and  affection,  adapt  them  to  such  mer- 
ciful errands.  The  well  known  traveller,  Ledyard, 
remarks:  "  Women  do  not  hesitate,  like  men,  to 
perform  a  hospitable  or  generous  action;  not 
haughty,  nor  arrogant,  nor  supercilious,  but  full  of 
courtesy,  and  fond  of  society;  industrious,  eco- 
nomical, ingenious,  more  liable  in  general  to  err 
•than  man,  but  in  general  also  more  virtuous,  and 
performing  more  good  actions  than  he.  I  never 
addressed  myself  in  the  language  of  decency  and 
friendship  to'  a  woman,  whether  civilized  or  savage, 
without  receiving  a  friendly  answer.  With  man,  it 
has  often  been  otherwise.  In  wandering  over  the 
barren  plains  of  inhospitable  Denmark,  through 
honest  Sweden,  frozen  Lapland,  rude  and  churlish 
Finland,  unprincipled  Russia,  and  the  wide-spread 
regions  of  the  wandering  Tartar,  hungry,  dry,  cold, 


A  GIRL'S  MISSION.  61- 

wet,  or  sick,  woman  has  ever  been  friendly  to  me, 
and  uniformly  so ;  and  to  add  to  this  virtue,  so 
worthy  of  the  appellation  of  benevolence,  these 
actions  have  been  performed  in  so  free  and  kind  a 
manner,  that,  if  I  was  dry,  I  drank  the  sweet 
draught,  and  if  hungry,  I  ate  the  coarse  morsel, 
with  a  double  relish." 

Such  is  Ledyard's  testimony  to  the  nattiral  kind- 
ness and  generosity  of  woman.  The  testimony  of 
Mungo  Park,  who  also  travelled  extensively,  was 
similar.  "When  he  lay  almost  famished  upon  the 
ground,  in  a  desolate  part  of  Africa,  expecting  to 
perish  from  exposure,  he  was  discovered  by  some 
negro  women,  and  taken  to  their  rude  habitation, 
where  his  immediate  wants  were  supplied,  and  his 
life  saved.  He  thought  the  negro  men  would  not 
hav»been  moved  to  pity  by  his  distressed  condition. 

Rev.  Mr.  Andros,  who  was  a  youth  in  the  time  of 
the  American  revolution,  did  military  service  in  the 
place  of  his  father.  He  was  taken  prisoner,  and  con- 
fined in  the  "  old  Jersey  prison-ship,  "  from  which 
he  finally  escaped.  He  was  in  a  wretched  plight 
when  he  left  the  ship ;  his  clothes  were  ragged  and 
filthy,  his  body  was  covered  with  vermin,  and  there 
was  scarcely  a  trace  of  his  former  self  remaining. 
As  he  pursued  his  way  towards  Massachusetts, 
through  forests  and  meadows,  he  found  scarcely 
a  man  who  would  minister  to  his  necessities.  They 
6 


62      THE  GOOD  GIRL  AND  TKUE  WOMAN. 

were  afraid  of.  losing  their  own  heads  by  British 
officials  if  they  did.  But  the  women  looked  upon 
him  with  compassion.  Without  asking  a  question, 
one  would  slip  into  his  emaciated  hand  a  piece  of 
bread,  and  another  supply  him  with  some  needed 
garment  to  protect  him.  One  night  a  woman  lodged 
him.  in  her  humble  abode,  and  discovering  that  his 
clothes  were  alive  with  vermin,  she  put  them  into 
her  oven  and  baked  them  after  he  was  asleep.  Sho 
spent  most  of  the  night  in  caring  for  the  sufferer, 
that  he  might  be  able  to  pursue  his  homeward 
course  on  the  following  day.  Early  in  the  fol- 
lowing morning,  having  received  a  bountiful  supply 
of  food,  he  started  off  with  the  kind  woman's 
"  God  bless  you  "  saluting  his  ear. 

These  facts  show  that  woman  is  kindly  disposed. 
Then  we  have,  in  addition,  the  labors  of  such  fe- 
males as  Mrs.  Sarah  Hoffman,  who  spent  days  and 
weeks  of  the  most  inclement  season  of  the  year 
among  the  poor  and  wretched  of  New  York  city, 
often  in  the  midst  of  contagious  diseases  before 
which  the  warrior  trembles;  of  Miss  Dix,  who 
from  the  office  of  a  humble  Sabbath  School 
teacher  in  the  city  of  Boston,  went  forth  to  visit 
the  asylums,  almshouses,'  jails  and  penitentiaries 
of  the  State,  in  order  to  bless  the  inmates  thereof, 
extending  her  labors  until  she  embraced  every 
State  in  the  Union,  causing  reforms  to  be  made 


A  GIRL'S  MISSION.  63 

and  philanthropic  institutions  to  arise,  jrhich  an- 
other has  said  "are  monuments  more"  honorable, 
if*  not  more  enduring,  than  the  pyramids ; "  of  Mrs. 
Fry,  who  consecrated  almost  fifty  years  of  her 
noble  life,  together  with  her  ample  fortune,  to 
the  cause  of  suffering  humanity,  visiting  the  prisons 
of  England,  France,  Holland,  Belgium,  Denmark, 
Germany,  and  Prussia,  "to  take  the  gauge  of 
misery,  depression,  and  contempt ; "  of  the  Coun- 
tess of  Huntingdon,  who  laid  all  her  possessions 
upon  the  altar  of  God,  and  devoted  her  energies  to 
the  erection  of  chapels  for  the  poor  at  her  own  ex- 
pense, in  every  part  of  her  native  land,  and  finally 
sold  her  jewels  to  enable  her  to  complete  the  gen- 
erous work;  and  last,  though  not  least,  of  the 
Harriet  Newells,  Anh  Judsons,  Harriet  Stewarts 
and  Mary  Van  Lenneps,  who  sacrificed  the  ease 
and  joys  of  home  and  country  for  the  sake  of  lead- 
ing the  benighted  of  far-off  lands  to  the  Aross  of 
Christ.  These  are  but  representatives  of  the  wo- 
men who  have  belonged  to  the  only  true  order  of 
"  sisters  of  charity  "  that  the  world  has  known. 


"How  sweet  to  hear  those  lips  of  rose 

The  cause  of  humble  virtue  pleading; 
While  Wit  his  dazzling  weapon  shows, 
Advancing  near,  and  now  receding. 


64  THE   GOOD  GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMA.K. 

How  sweet  to  know  that  gentle  heart, 
So  skilled  to  soothe  the  hour  of  sadness, 

Will  draw  of  pain  the  envenomed  dart, 
And  bid  life's  current  flow  with  gladness." 

That  female  character  possesses  a  charm  which 
renders  it  a  powerful  agent  in  mitigating  the  woes 
of  mankind  is  proved  by  the  following  fact  related 
by  Margaret  Fuller  Ossoli.  A  clergyman  had  a 
very  bright,  promising  son,  whom  he  sent  to 
college.  He  was  extremely  fond  of  his  books,  and 
close,  uninterrupted  application  made  him  insane. 
He  returned  to  his  father's  house  where  he  soon 
became  a  raving  maniac,  and  was  chained  to  a  post 
in  an  unoccupied  room  of  the  house.  There  he 
raved,  shrieked,  and  struck  about  him,  in  the  most 
frightful  manner,  and  no  one  dared  approach  him. 
For  his  sister  Lucy  he  had  always  cherished  the 
strongest  affection,  and  whenever  she  entered  the 
room,  and  spoke  or  sang,  his  fierceness  would  abate, 
and  he  would  sometimes  appear  quite  calm.  Lucy 
married,  however,  and  went  away.  She  was  ab- 
sent two  or  three  years,  during  which  time  the 
brother  continued  a  maniac,  fiercer  than  he  was 
while  Lucy  was  at  home.  At  the  expiration  of 
this  time  she  returned  to  her  father's  house,  and 
brought  an  infant  with  her.  She  went  into  the 
room  where  her  brother  was  confined,  and  he  recog- 
nized her  at  once,  and  manifested  joy  at  seeing  her. 


V 


A  GIRL'S  MISSION.  65 

• 

"But  Lucy,"  said  he  hurriedly,  "is  that  your 
baby  you  have  in  your  arms?  Give  it  to  me,  I 
want  to  hold  it." 

Lucy  shuddered  at  the  thought  of  placing  the 
child  in  his  arms,  and  a  deadly  palor  spread  over 
her  face.  The  maniac  saw  her  fears,  and  said, 

"Lucy,  do  you  suppose  I  would  hurt  your 
child?" 

At  once  the  sister  laid  the  child  in  his  arms.  He 
looked  at  it,  smiled,  stroked  it  —  and  burst  into 
tears,  the  first  he  had  shed  since  he  was  insane. 
For  some  time  after  he  was  better. 

Many  such  incidents  might  be  cited  to  show  how 
wonderfully  •  God  has  adapted  woman  to  perform 
deeds  of  mercy.  Here  a  great  variety  of  channels 
are  opened  to  receive  her  influence.  Through 
some  one  of  them  every  girl  may  qualify  herself 
to  act. 

In  this  connection,  we  would  call  the  reader's 
attention  particularly  to  the  office  of  nurse  —  a 
hitherto  despised  though  indispensable  sphere  of 
female  effort.  Is  it  degrading  to  alleviate  the 
sufferings  of  the  sick  ?  Why  should  it  be  thought 
beneath  the  rank  of  the  most  accomplished  wo- 
man to  carry  physical  and  spiritual  comfort  to  the 
pining  invalid  ?  It  is  a  part  of  woman's  ordained 
mission,  of  which  she  has  more  reason  to  be  proud 
than  ashamed.  Says  Mrs.  Ossoli  of  this  way  of 
6* 


66  THE    GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

doing  good,  "It  is  a  noble  one,  now  most  unjustly 
regarded  in  the  light  of  menial  sei-vice.  It  is  one 
which  no  menial,  no  servile  nature  can  fitly  occupy. 
....  We  hope  to  see  the  time  when  the  refined 
and  cultivated  will  choose  this  profession,  and  learn 
it,  not  only  through  experience  and  under  the 
direction  of  the  doctor,  but  by  acquainting  them- 
selves with  the  laws  of  matter  and  of  mind,  so  that 
all  they  do  shall  be  intelligently  done,  and  afford 
them  the  means  of  developing  intelligence,  as  well 
as  the  nobler,  tenderer  feeling  of  humanity;  for 
even  this  last  part  of  the  benefit  they  cannot  re- 
ceive if  their  work  be  done  in  a  selfish  or  mercenary 
spirit." 

Next,  there  is  the  office  of  teacher  for  which 
females  are  admirably  adapted:  Says  Dr.  Wayland, 
who  always  speaks  with  moderation  on  every  sub- 
ject, "In  all  thev  preparatory  studies  of  boyhood' 
and  youth  the  services  of  female  instructors  are  to 
be  preferred.  We  do\ibt  whether  a  youthful  mind 
ever  received  an  improper  bias  from  the  influence 
or  teachings  of  a  woman.  The  moral  impulses 
they  communicate  ai-e  always  right.  They  have 
an  instinctive  and  beautiful  sympathy  with  the 
'  tender  susceptibilities  and  faculties  of  the  young, 
which  enables  them  to  exercise  t;  e  most  healthful 
influence  over  their  moral  and  nental  training. 
This  is  nature  —  a  wise  dispensation  of  Providence ; 


A  GIRL'S  MISSION.  67 

God  himself  has  formed  and  designed  woman  as  the 
first  instructor  of  the  young." 

This,  too,  is  a  sphere  of  female  exertion  not  likely 
to  be  overcrowded  with  toilers  at  present.  For 
we  are  told  that  sixty  thousand  female  teachers  are 
now  needed  in  our  land.  Where  are  they  to  be 
found  unless  the  girls  of  New  England,  and  of  every 
other  part  of  the  Union,  give  special  heed  to  duty 
in  this  direction  ?  When  Mary  Lyon  began  her 
efforts  in  behalf  of  the  Female  Seminary  at  South 
Hadley,  she  addressed  a  circular  to  ladies,  from 
which  we  extract  the  following :  "  Among  the 
means  essential  to  the  safety  of  the  nation,  many 
are  convinced  of  the  necessity  of  urging  into  the 
field  a  multitude  of  benevolent,  self-denying  female 
teachers.  Many  of  the  most  candid  and  discrimi- 
nating, who  have  the  advantage  of  observation  on 
this  subject,  are  convinced  that  all  other  means 
without  this  will  be  insufficient.  Fill  the  country 
with  ministers,  and  they  could  no  more  conquer 
the  whole  land  and  secure  their  victories,  without 
the  aid  of  many  times  their  number  of  self-denying 
female  teachers,  than  the  latter  could  complete  the 
work  without  the  former." 

How  great  the  inducement,  then,  for  females  to 
enter  this  field  of  usefulness !  The  life  of  Mary 
Lyon  herself  presents  irresistible  appeals  to  the 
young  ladies  of  our  country  to  devote  themselves 


68  THE   GOOD   GIRL    AND   TRUE    WOMAN. 

to  this  profession.  Even  if  no  one  of  their  number 
should  accomplish  more  than  a  twentieth  or  fiftieth 
part  as  much  as  she  did,  the  inducement  is  yet 
strong.  During  the  revolutionary  war,  Fort  Motte, 
in  South  Carolina,  fell  into  the  hands  of  the  British. 
In  order  to  regain  possession  of  it,  it  became  ne- 
cessary to  burn  a  fine  mansion  standing  near  the 
centre  of  the  trench.  The  house  belonged  to  Mrs. 
Rebecca  Motte.  Lieut.  Col.  Lee  communicated  to 
her  the  proposed  destruction  of  the  dwelling,  to 
which  she  replied,  "  I  am  gratified  with  the  oppor- 
tunity of  contributing  to  the  good  of  my  country, 
and  shall  view  the  approaching  scene  with  delight." 
And  now,  where  are  the  girls  who  will  qualify  them- 
selves for  the  honorable  pursuit  of  teaching  for 
"  the  safety  of  the  nation  ?  " 

We  need  only  allude  to  those  kinds  of  manual 
labor  which  many  females  must  perform  for  the 
general  good.  They  are  an  essential  service  to  be 
rendered  to  society,  and  therefore  honorable.  For 
them  girls  should  be  qualified  much  more  tho- 
roughly than  has  been  the  case.  The  leisure 
moments  which  these  callings  afford  should  be 
devoted  to  mental  and  moral  improvement.  There 
is  no  reason  why  many  a  "  serving  girl "  or  "  do- 
mestic" may  not  adorn  her  character  with  the 
grace  of  intelligence.  It  has  been  done.  It  may 
be  done  again. 


A  GIRL'S  MISSION.  69 

We  have  incidentally  spoken  in  this  and  a  former 
chapter  of  female  service  on  the  missionary  field. 
May  we  not  urge  the  exalted  work  of  a  missionary 
upon  the  reader's  attention !  Alas,  how  few  of  the 
young  ladies  of  America  contemplate  with  favor 
this  sphere  of  Christian  toil!  With  all  its  en- 
couragements for  doing  good,  and  all  the  rewards 
it  presents,  only  here  and  there  a  solitary  one  has 
given  the  subject  more  than  a  passing  thought. 
Although  bright  examples  of  sister  spirits  throw  a 
halo  of  glory  over  the  shores  of  India  and  the 
islands  of  the  sea  to  allure  them  thither,  they  turn 
away  from  the  sight,  "  fond  of  these  trifling  toys." 

But  HOME  is  the  great  field  of  woman's  exploits. 
Each  girl  should  qualify  herself  to  perform  a  good 
mission  here.  She  may  expect,  at  some  future 
day,  to  preside  over  a  home  of  her  own.  This 
is  the  case  with  most  of  the  female  sex.  There  are 
so  few  exceptions  to  the  rule  that  no  young  wo- 
man can  reasonably  conclude  that  such  will  not  be 
her  own  future  experience.  For  this  sphere,  then, 
she  ought  to  prepare.  Every  day  and  hour  she 
should  bear  these  prospective  responsibilities  in 
mind.  Such  preparation,  cannot  be  left  with  im- 
punity for  chance  to  decide.  There  is  physical, 
mental,  and  moral  culture,  that  is  indispensable  to 
the  successful  discharge  of  these  home  duties. 
Indeed,  all  the  attainments  that  we  have  named 


70     THE  GOOD  GIRL  AND  TRUK  WOMAN. 

as  necessary  for  other  spheres  might  be  well  em- 
ployed here.  No  one  of  them  would  be  found 
useless.  We  have  fo\v,  very  few,  really  happy 
homes,  because  so  few  wives  and  mothers  h:i\  o 
been  trained  for  the  important  places  they  fill. 

"Home  is  man's  Ark,  when  trouble  springs, 

When  gathering  clouds  menace  his  morrow; 
And  woman's  lore,  the  bird  that  brings 
His  olive-leaf,  o'er  floods  of  sorrow." 

It  may  be  said  that  if  a  girl  prepares  herself 
for  one  of  the  spheres  indicated,  Providence  may 
introduce  her  into  another.  Very  true.  But  she 
will  lose  nothing  by  the  attainments  made.  They 
will  serve  her  a  good  purpose  wherever  her  lot  may 
be  cast.  If  she  qualifies  herself  for  a  teacher,  and 
her  labors  are  closed  in  that  sphere  by  entering 
into  matrimony,  her  qualifications  to  instruct  will 
render  her  a  more  efficient  mistress  of  a  family. 
Mary  Lyon  studied  for  the  teacher's  office ;  but,  at 
the  same  time,  she  made  herself  familiar  with  do- 
mestic affairs,  and  such  other  duties  as  every  woman 
needs  to  understand.  In  consequence  she  would 
have  presided  with  dignity  and  success  over  a 
household  of  her  own.  As  the  wife  of  a  farmer  or 
a  merchant,  of  a  legislator  or  a  minister,  she  would 
have  excelled.  Such  attainments  as  we  have  men- 


JL  GIRL'S  MISSIOX.  71 

tioned  enable  a  woman  to  adapt  herself  to  circum- 
stances. 

It  is  more  necessary  that  girls  understand  what 
their  mission  is  a  •  the  present  day,  on  account  of 
the  preposterous  claims  set  up  for  what  are  called 
u  Women's  Right  ."  The  female  character  appears 
to  advantage  onl}  in  its  appropriate  sphere.  Who 
can  respect  Joan  >f  Arc,  the  Maid  of  Orleans,  who 
buckled  on  the  f  }ldier's  armor,  and  went  to  the 
tented  field  ?  H  r  remarkable  prowess  and  bril- 
liant victories  do  ot  atone  for  her  breach  of  female 
delicacy,  in  the  r>  ader's  view.  So  it  is  with  such 
modern  female  r  formers  as  Abby  Kelley  Foster. 
She  has  unseied  '.  erself,  clamoring  for  "  Women's 
Rights "  on  the  public  rostrum.  Curiosity  may 
induce  many  to  Jsten  once  or  more  to  her  ha- 
rangues, but  few  i  here  are  who  can  respect  her  on 
account  of  her  ur  womanly  career.  Contrast  with 
either  of  these  ch  iracters  Mary  Lyon,  the  humble 
girl  and  gifted  teacher.  Follow  her  from  year  to 
year  in  her  noiseless  way  of  doing  good,  content  to 
perform  a  woman's  mission  in  the  humblest  walks 
.  of  life.  How  noble  and  queenly  she  appears  in  the 
contrast !  Gradually  and  surely  her  life  assumes 
importance  and  grandeur,  until  the  good  and  true 
on  every  hand  pay  her  generous  tributes  of  respect. 
She  is  dead ;  but  her  memory  is  fresh  and  fragrant 
as  a  summer  flower. 


72     THE  GOOD  GIRL  AND  TRUE  WOMAN. 

"  But  this  is  fixed 

As  are  the  roots  of  earth  and  base  of  all  — 
Man  for  the  field  and  woman  for  the  hearth: 
Man  for  the  sword,  and  for  the  needle  she: 
Man  with  the  head  and  woman  with  the  heart; 
Man  to  command,  and  woman  to  obey; 
All  else  confusion." 


CHAPTER   VI. 

A    GOOD    DAUGHTEB. 

CONNECTION  BETWEEN  A  GOOD  DAUGHTER  AND  TRUE  WOMAN— 
MARY  LYON  AN  EXAMPLE  OS1  FILIAL  LOVE  AND  OBEDIENCE—' 
LETTERS  TO  HER  MOTHER  —  THE  SAME  WHEN  HIGHLY  DISTIN- 
GUISHED —  SOME  CHILDREN  ASHAMED  OF  HUMBLE  PARENTS 
WHEN  THEY  THEMSELVES  BECOME  RICH  OR  FAMED  —  CONFI- 
DENCE IN  HER  MOTHER'S  PRAYERS  —  ADDISON^S  REMARK —  DISO- 
BEDIENT DAUGHTERS  MAKE  UNLOVELY  WOMEN  —  THE  ROMAN 
TULLIA —  SOME  MEN  UNDUTIFUL  —  DAUGHTER  TURNING  MOTHER 
OUT  OF  DOORS  —  A  ROMAN  MOTHER  NURSED  IN  PRISON  BY  HER 
DAUGHTER  —  THE  DAUGHTER  OF  CAZOTTE  —  LATE  MARRIAGE  OF 
VICTORIA'S  DAUGHTER  —  GIRL  IN  NEW  YORK  WHO  OFFERED  TO 
DISPOSE  OF  HER  TEETH  TO  AID  PARENTS  —  INCIDENT  RELATED 
BY  REV.  MR.  JAMES  — LINES. 

»*«(     -  *        .          -  :    .:-..•        • 

WE  have  noticed  that  all  women  of  much  em- 
inence were  distinguished  in  early  life  for  fidelity 
to  parents.  There  are  so  few  exceptions  to  this 
rule,  that  we  may  safely  assert  that  there  is  some 
connection  between  a  good  daughter  and  a  true 
woman.  Nor  is  it  difficult  to  discover  the  reason 
of  it.  For  those  qualities  which  are  indispensable 
in  a  good  daughter  are  particularly  suited  to  the 
achievement  of  female  success.  A  girl,  who  re- 
cognizes her  indebtedness  to  parents,  and  ever 
accedes  to  their  superior  wisdom  and  experience, 
7 


74     THE  GOOD  GIRL  AND  TBUE  WOMAK. 

who  cultivates  the  spirit  of  true  submission  to  pa^ 
rental  authority,  ever  ready  to  aid  a  loving  mother 
or  a  devoted  father,  possesses  judgment,  wisdom, 
foresight,  and  moral  principle  enough  to  ensure  her 
success  in  almost  any  sphere. 

Mary  Lyon  was  emphatically  a  good  daughter. 
Her  earliest  childhood  was  graced  by  the  virtues 
of  filial  love  and  obedience.  Her  mother's  word 
was  law.  Indeed,  she  was  rather  distinguish- 
ed for  being  upon  the  watch  for  opportunities 
to  assist  her  widowed  parent.  Nor  did  these  fiKal 
virtues  lose  their  lustre  as  she  advanced  in  years. 
She  was  just  as  good  a  daughter  at  twenty  as  she 
was  at  five  years  of  age,  and  as  good  at  forty  as  she 
was  at  twenty.  She  never  sacrificed  the  relation 
of  daughter  to  the  consciousness  of  becoming  a 
woman.  Her  letters,  after  she  left  her  home  to 
study  and  teach,  were  imbued  with  the  same  filial 
love  and  devotion  that  characterized  the  conduct 
of  her  childhood.  The  following  extracts  from 
letters  to  her  mother  may  be  read  as  proof  of  this 
point :  — 

JULY  21,  1821. 

"Each  passing  day  carries  my  heart  homeTto 
you,  my  dear  parent,  and  all  my  other  friends,  till 
I  can  no  longer  refrain  from  writing.  Did  you 
know  how  much  my  heart  dwells  on  her  who  loves 
me  with  a  mother's  love,  some  of  you,  ere  this, 


A    GOOD    DAUGHTER.  75 

would  have  filled  a  sheet  for  my  perusal.  I  long 
to  see  you ;  but  I  Avill  suppress  my  tender  emotions, 
while  I  have  recourse  to  my  slow,  feeble  pen,  as  a 
poor  substitute  for  the  rapid  conversation  at  the 
meeting  hour  of  a  mother  and  daughter  —  conver- 
sation which  stops  not  for  thoughts. 

SEPTEMBER  25,  1825. 

"  I  have  thought  much  more  of  you  than  usual 
for  a  week  or  two  past.  Although  my  situation  is 
necessarily  rather  different  from  \vhat  it  was  in 
childhood,  yet  you  will  not  suppose  that  on  this 
account  I  love  my  friends  less.  I  sincerely  desire 
that  I  may  ever  be  saved  from  neglecting  my  early 
friends,  especially  my  mother,  to  whom  I  am  more 
indebted  than  to  all  others,  except  my  Maker. 
When  I  think  of  my  mother,  I  think  of  one  who 
ardently  and  unceasingly  desires  my  temporal  and 
spiritual  welfare ;  one  to  whom  I  owe  much  that  I 
can  never  repay ;  one  who  never  forgets  me,  and 
never  forgets  that  I  have  an  immortal  soul ;  one 
the  benefit  of  whose  prayers  I  have  long  enjoyed, 
and  whose  desires,  I  trust,  are  now  every  day  as- 
cending to  the  throne  of  mercy  in  my  behalf." 

The  reader  must  recollect  that  when  the  last  ex- 
tract was  penned  the  author  of  it  had  become  a 
popular  teacher.  She  had  spent  some  years  in  close 
application  to  study  and  teaching,  and  consequently 


76      THE  GOOD  GIRL  AND  TRUE  WOMAN. 

she  was  intellectually  her  mother's  superior.  Yet 
she  still  regarded  her  aged  parent  with  the  affection 
and  respect  of  a  child.  In  this  she  differed  from 
many  children  who  make  superior  attainments  the 
occasion  of  neglecting  parents.  Sometimes  sons 
and  daughters  become  learned  and  renowned,  and 
allow  themselves,  in  consequence,  to  be  ashamed  of 
their  illiterate  and  humble  parents.  Sometimes 
they  become  wealthy,  and  their  riches  cause  them 
to  be  proud,  so  that  they  are  mortified  to  refer  to 
their  poor,  penniless  fathers  and  mothers.  How 
different  with  Mary  Lyon,  as  the  foregoing  ex- 
tracts from  her  letters  prove !  We  might  multiply 
extracts  of  this  character  were  it  necessary.  There 
is  one  point,  however,  worthy  of  special  remark,  in 
this  connection.  She  appears  to  have  had  great 
confidence  in  her  mother's  prayers.  Whenever 
she  felt  the  need  of  more  grace  and  holiness  of 
heart,  she  would  sit  down  and  write  to  her  mother 
for  a  remembrance  in  her  supplications.  In  many 
of  her  letters  we  find  requests  like  the  following : 

"My  dear  mother,  I  very  much  need  your 
prayers  that  I  may  be  revived ;  that  I  may  have 
clearer  views  of  salvation  by  Jesus  Christ,  and 
of  the  wonderful  manifestations  of  God's  love  in 
giving  his  only  beloved  Son  to  save  a  lost  world." 
"Will  you,  ray  dear  mother,  pray  particularly 
for  your  children,  that  they  may  all  be  whotty  de- 


A    GOOD    DAUGHTER.  77 

voted  to  the  service  of  God;  that  they  may  let 
their  light  so  shine,  that  others,  and  especially 
those  over  whom  they  shall  have  an  influence,  may 
take  knowledge  of  them,  that  they  have  been  with 
Jesus  ?  How  small  a  thing  is  the  greatest  worldly 
prosperity,  compared  with  the  blessing  of  true 
piety  in  those  so  near  to  your  heart ! 

"  My  dear  mother,  I  want  you  should  pray  for 
me  in  particular,  that  I  may,  from  day  to  day,  do 
my  whole  duty ;  that  I  may  know  what  I  should 
do,  and  how  I  may  do  it ;  that  I  may  be  so  faithful 
to  souls,  as  to  free  the  skirts  of  my  garments  from 
their  blood." 

She  frequently  asked  her  mother's  prayers  for 
her  scholars;  and  when  she  commenced  her  la- 
bors in  behalf  of  the  Mount  Holyoke  Seminary, 
she  earnestly  besought  her  mother  to  pray  for  it, 
as  if  her  supplications  would  be  sure  to  give  it  suc- 
cess. Before  it  was  at  all  certain  that  her  plans 
would  succeed,  she  wrote—  «- 

"  I  want  that  you  should  pray  for  me,  my  dear 
mother,  that  I  may  in  this  thing  be  guided  by  wis- 
dom from  above,  and  that  the  Lord  would  bless 
me,  and  make  me  a  blessing." 

After  success  had  crowned  her  efforts,  and  the 
location  of  the  institution  was  determined,  she 
wrote  — 

"  Will  you,  my  dear  mother,  pray  for  this  new 
7* 


78  THE   GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAX. 

institution,  that  God  will  •  open  the  hearts  of  his 
children  in  its  behalf,  and  that  the  Spirit  of  God 
may  rest  on  its  future  teachers  and  pupils,  that  it 
may  be  a  spot  where  souls  may  be  born  of  God, 
and  saints  quickened  in  their  Lord's  service  ?  It 
is  my  heart's  desire,  that  holiness  to  the  Lord  may 
be  inscribed  upon  all  connected  with  it,  and  that  a 
succession  of  teachers  may  be  raised  up,  who  shall 
there  continue  to  labor  for  Christ  long  after  we  are 
laid  in  our  graves." 

What  can  be  more  beautiful  than  such  childlike 
confidence  in  a  faithful  parent  ?  A  daughter  going 
forth  to  the  stern  duties  of  life,  trusting  in  the  sup- 
plications of  her  pious  mother  to  bring  down  the 
benediction  of  God !  The  gifted  Addisou  ex- 
claimed, in  view  of  the  devotion  of  a  female  to  her 
infirm  and  aged  father,  "  How  have  I  been  charmed 
to  see  one  of  the  most  beauteous  women  the  age 
has  produced,  kneeling  to  put  on  an  old  man's 
slipper !  "  May  we  not  adopt  a  similar  sentiment 
in  view  of  the  love  and  reverence  of  Mary  Lyon 
for  her  mother  ?  How  singularly  appropriate  and 
becoming  to  the  female  character !  There  is  grace 
and  beauty  beyond  the  power  of  rhetoric  to  de- 
scribe in  every  such  example  of  filial  trust. 

We  are  confident  that  every  such  GOOD  DAUGHTER 
will  become  a  good  and  useful  woman.  It  is  the 
sentiment  of  mankind  generally,  that  such  devotion 


A    GOOD    DAUGHTER.  79 

of  son  or  daughter  to  a  parent  foreshadows  future 
excellence  and  distinction.  There  is»  scarcely  an 
exception,  while  the  opposite  is  equally  true.  Un- 
faithful children  make  unprincipled  men  and  women. 
Their  early  disobedience  is  a  sure  forerunner  of 
their  after  immorality  and  shame.  We  never 
heard  or  read  of  an  undutiful  daughter  who  be- 
came a  gifted  woman. 

But  the  reader  may  say,  '  Why  devote  a  chapter 
to  a  subject  like  this  ?  Are  not  daughters  usually 
known  for  their  filial  regard  ?  There  surely  is  no 
necessity  for  treating  the  topic  at  considerable 
length.'  We  really  wish  this  sentiment  were  well 
founded,  that  daughters  did  not  need  counsel  in 
relation  to  their  filial  duties.  Bbt  we  have  too 
painful  evidence  to  the  contrary.  Although  daugh- 
ters are  usually  more  dutiful  than  sons,  yet  every 
community  bears  witness  that  many  do  not  imitate 
the  example  of  Mary  Lyon  in  this  respect.  Nor  is 
this  state  of  things  peculiar  to  our  age.  All  ages 
and  lands  have  had  undutiful  daughters.  Some 
cases  of  almost  fiendish  wickedness  are  found 
among  them.  There  was  Tullia,  the  wife  of  Lucius 
Tarquinius,  who  did  not  exhibit  respect  for  even 
her  father's  dead  body.  It  lay  across  the  street 
through  which  she  was  riding  in  her  chariot,  wel- 
tering in  its  blood.  Her  charioteer  was  about  to 
stop  his  horses,  when  the  unnatural  daughter  cried 


80      THE  GOOD  GIRL  AND  TRUE  WOMAN. 

out,  "  Drive  on !  Drive  on  !  "  The  driver  dared 
not  refuse ;  and  as  the  father's  corpse  was  crushed 
beneath  the  chariot  wheels,  the  blood  spirted 
upon  the  daughter's  dress.  The  Romans  them- 
selves were  shocked  by  such  base  disrespect  for  a 
parent's  lifeless  body,  and  they  named  the  street 
Vicus  Sceleratus,  or  Wicked  Street,  to  express  their 
horror  of  the  inhuman  act.  We  are  happy  to  say 
that  history  records  few  such  infamous  deeds  on 
the  part  of  daughters.  Still  we  meet  with  disobe- 
dient and  unloving  daughters  in  every  community. 
We  have  known  them  to  disregard  the  wishes  and 
counsels  of  parents  in  respect  to  attending  parties 
of  pleasure,  balls,  and  other  places  of  amusement ; 
in  receiving  the  attentions  of  young  men  of 
doubtful,  if  not  of  really  immoral  character ;  and 
even  in  marrying  clandestinely,  so  as  to  escape  the 
parental  eye.  In  all  these  ways  daughters  fre- 
quently abuse  the  filial  relation.  We  are  ac- 
quainted with  one  instance  of  a  daughter  turning  her 
mother  out  of  doors.  We  have  known  of  a  daughter, 
(and  more  than  one  instance  too,)  grown  to  wo- 
manhood, upon  whom  devolved  the  care  of  a  wid- 
owed mother,  treating  her  with  neglect,  and  even 
publicly  speaking  of  her  faults  and  singularities. 
But  we  have  never  known  one  with  such  an  unfilial 
spirit  to  become  very  much  beloved  in  after  life, 
nor  to  develop  a  very  pleasing  character.  . 


A    GOOD    DAUGHTER.  81 

We  attach  no  greater  importance  to  filial  love  as 
an  element  of  character  that  gives  success,  than 
history  has  always  accorded  to  it.  Marked  exam- 
ples of  filial  devotion  have  always  been  recorded  as 
tokens  of  future  excellence  and  triumph.  Roman 
history  tells  us  of  an  illustrious  woman  who  was 
condemned  to  be  sti*angled.  She  was  a  lady  of 
beauty  and  refinement,  and  the  jailor  was  so  much 
impressed  by  her  accomplishments  that  he  could 
not  endure  the  thought  of  strangling  her,  so  he  re- 
solved to  starve  her  to  death.  He  consented,  how- 
ever, to  admit  her  daughter  occasionally,  taking 
care  that  she  brought  no  food.  Some  days  and 
even  weeks  elapsed,  and  the  prisoner  was  not  only 
alive,  but  appeared  to  be  nearly  as  vigorous  as  ever. 
Upon  watching  the  daughter  more  closely,  it  was 
found  that  she  nourished  the  prisoner  from  her  own 
breast.  The  fact  was  made  known  to  the  authorities, 
who  regarded  the  act  as  worthy  of  public  praise. 
They  decreed  that  the  prisoner  should  be  released, 
and  both  mother  and  daughter,  be  supported  at  the 
public  expense.  On  the  spot  they  also  caused  to 
be  erected  a  temple  to  Filial  Piety. 

It  is  related  of  the  distinguished  Frenchman, 
Gazette,  that  he  was  imprisoned  with  his  daughter, 
and  both  awaited  their  trial.'  No  proofs  of  the 
offence  charged  could  be  found  against  the  daughter, 
Elizabeth,  a  very  lovely  and  accomplished  young 


82  THE   GOOD    GIRL    AND    TllUifi    WOMAN. 

woman,  and  she  was  ordered  to  be  released.  But 
the  noble-hearted  girl  refused  her  liberty,  and 
determined  to  share  imprisonme  t  with  her  father. 
For  some  time  the  father  was  sp:  red  out  of  respect 
to  the  fidelity  of  the  daughter.  Jut  on  the  second 
of  September,  1792,  he  was  summoned  to  meet 
death.  He  was  led  forth,  and  the  axe  was  already 
uplifted  to  sever  his  head  from  his  body.  At  that 
moment,  Elizabeth  rushed  through  the  crowd,  and 
threw  herself  upon  her  father's  neck,  exclaiming, 
"  Strike,  barbarians !  You  shall  not  get  at  my 
father  until  you  have  pierced  my  heart ! "  The 
hands  of  the  murderers  dropped,  and  they  stood 
powerless.  "  Pardon !  "  shouted  one.  "  Pardon  ! 
Pardon !  "  shouted  a  thousand  voices.  Elizabeth 
was  allowed  to  lead  her  father  forth  to  liberty  and 
his  home. 

All  such  examples  have  always  been  regarded  as 
indicative  of  a  certain  general  excellence  of  char- 
acter, so  that  the  actors  have  been  thought  to  pro- 
mise a  degree  of  distinction.  In  this  light  historians 
often  present  them. 

Probably  every  one  who  read  the  account  of  the 
marriage  of  Queen  Victoria's  daughter  to  Prince 
Frederick  William  of  Prussia,  was  more  or  less  im- 
pressed by  one  act* of  filial  love  which  heightened 
the  interest  of  that  impressive  scene.  When  the 
ceremony  was  concluded,  and  the  family  greetings 


A    GOOD   DAUGHTER.  83 

were  going  on,  before  the  large  assembly  had  re- 
tired, her  Royal  Highness  threw  herself  upon  her 
mother's  neck  and  sobbed  almost  aloud.  The  scene 
was  very  affecting,  and  hundreds  of  eyes  wept  at 
the  sight.  How  much  that  single  act  of  filial  re- 
gard contributed  to  the  worth  of  the  daughter's 
character  in  our  view  !  It  is  evidence  of  a  certain 
excellence  of  heart  and  strength  of  mind,  that  pro- 
mise well  for  the  future.  That  one  act  will  cause 
many  to  anticipate  that  she  will  become  her 
mother's  equal. 

Nor  can  it  be  said  that  rank  contributes  any 
thing  to  the  value  of  filial  virtues.  They  possess  an 
intrinsic  value  of  their  own,  and  neither  position 
nor  time  can  increase  or  diminish  it.  They  are 
equally  beautiful  in  the  humblest  walks  of  life,  even 
among  the  poorest  of  our  populous  cities.  »The 
winter  of  1793  was  very  severe,  and  the  sufferings 
of  the  poor  of  New  York  city  were  unusually  great. 
One  family,  numbering  husband,  wife,  and  daughter 
were  without  fuel  and  food  for  some  hours,  and 
death  by  cold  and  hunger  stared  them  in  the  face. 
The  parents  Avere  infirm,  and  the  daughter  had 
supported  them  for  some  length  of  time  ;  but  now 
she  could  obtain  no  work.  While  she  was  sor- 
rowing over  their  suffering  condition,  she  remem- 
bered that  a  dentist  had  advertised  for  sound  fore- 
teeth, offering  three  guineas  each  for  all  he  was 


84     THE  GOOD  GIRL  AND  TRUE  WOMAN. 

allowed  to  extract.  She  immediately  repaired  to 
his  office,  made  known  the  condition  of  her  parents, 
and  offered  to  dispose  of  her  foreteeth  on  his  terms. 
Instead  of  extracting  her  teeth  the  dentist  gave  her 
ten  guineas,  and  sent  her  rejoicing  home.  Who 
can  doubt  that  there  were  elements  in  that  girl's 
character,  which  properly  developed,  would  have 
distinguished  her  in  almost  any  sphere  ? 

Still  nobler,  and  more  promising,  is  that  filial 
love,  which,  like  that  of  Mary  Lyon,  connects  spir- 
itual realities  with  the  tie.  How  charming  is  the 
course  of  a  pious  child  like  the  one  of  which  Rev. 
Mr.  James  speaks  in  the  following  words:  "A 
female,  who  had  been  some  years  known  and 
respected  for  her  quiet,  consistent,  unobtrusive 
Christian  deportment,  called  on  her  minister,  to 
introduce  her  aged  mother,  who  leaned  on  her 
arm,  and  seemed  to  repose  on  her  that  tender  de- 
pendence which  is  so  soothing  and  delightful  to  an 
aged  parent,  and  so  heart  thrilling  to  a  dutiful  and 
grateful  child.  Both  were  overcome  by  their  feel- 
ings, and  it  was  some  moments  before  either  could 
speak.  The  minister  desired  them  to  be  seated, 
and  cheerfully  said,  "  Well,  Hannah,  I  suppose  this 
is  your  good  mother  —  I  am  very  happy  to  see 
her."  "  Yes,"  replied  the  mother,  in  broken  ac- 
cents, "  Her  mother  and  her  daughter  too.  Five 
and  twenty  years  ago  I  bore  her  in  infancy ;  and 


A    GOOD    DAUGHTER.  85 

now,   through  her  instrumentality,  I   trust  I  am 
born  to  God." 

"  Be  kind  to  thy  FATHER  —  for  when  thou  wert  young, 
Who  loved  thee  more  fondly  than  he  ? 

He  caught  the  first  accents  that  fell  from  thy  tongue, 
And  joined  in  thy  innocent  glee. 

Be  kind  to  thy  father,  for  now  he  is  old, 

• 

His  locks  intermingled  with  gray, 
His  footsteps  are  feeble,  once  fearless  and  bold; 
Thy  father  is  passing  away. 

Be  kind  to  thy  MOTHER — for  lo!  on  her  brow 

May  traces  of  sorrow  be  seen; 
.    O  well  may'st  thou  comfort  and  cherish  her  now, 

For  loving  and  kind  has  she  been. 
Remember  thy  mother,  for  thee  she  will  pray, 

As  long  as  God  giveth  her  breath; 
With  accents  of  kindness  then  cheer  her  lone  way, 

E'en  to  the  dark  valley  of  death.  " 


CHAPTER    VII. 


A    TETJE    81  STEE 


THE  FRATERNAL  TIE  —  MARY  LYON  AS  A  SISTER  —  HER  BROTH- 
ER'S FAMILY  —  LINES  SHE  PUT  INTO  HIS  WIFE'S  HAND  —  GRIEF 
AT  HIS  DEPARTURE  FOR  THE  WEST — LETTERS  TO  HER  SISTER 
AND  BROTHER  —  ASSISTANCE  TO  HEB  SISTERS  —  TO  HER  NIECES  — 
IF  GIRLS  WOULD  BECOME  TRUE  WOMEN  THEY  MUST  BE  TRUE 
SISTERS  —  RELATION  TO  BROTHERS  —  FAILURE  AS  SISTERS  AT 
HOME  FORESHADOWS  FAILURE  ABROAD  —  REMARK  OF  DR.  AL- 
COTT  —  OF  WASHINGTON  IRVING  —  OF  ANOTHER  WRITER — HEN- 
EY  MARTYN — STRIKING  EXAMPLE  OF  A  SISTER'S  INFLUENCE  — 
WHAT  DO  THESE  FACTS  SHOW? — THE  PRINCESS  ELIZABETH  EX- 
POSING HER  LIFE  FOR  HER  SISTER  —  WIFE  OF  INTAPHERNE8 
SAVED  HER  BROTHER  INSTEAD  OF  HUSBAND  FROM  DEATH  — 
SISTERLY  FIDELITY  INDICATES  OTHER  VIRTUES — "BE  KIND  TO 
THY  BROTHER." 


IT  is  equally  well  known  that  eminent  women 
have  usually  been  true  sisters.  There  appears  to 
be  a  similar  connection  between  the  fraternal  tie 
and  future  distinction,  that  exists  between  the  latter 
and  the  filial  relation.  The  virtues  that  are  indis- 
pensable to  a  true  sister  are  those  which  lead  to 
usefulness  hi  the  other  relations  of  life.  It  is  almost 
certain  that  a  sister  of  this  description  will  make  a 
true  friend,  wife,  or  mother.  For  she  has  qualities 
that  prepare' her  for  one,  or  all,  of  these  relations. 


A    TRUE    SISTER.  87 

She  has  had  that  regard  to  personal  duty  which  is 
of  priceless  value  in  every  situation. 

Mary  Lyon  was  the  best  of  sisters.  She  was 
ever  deeply  concerned  for  the  welfare  of  each  mem- 
ber of  the  family.  Their  happiness  was  her  happi- 
ness. Her  sisterly  affection  was  unselfish  and 
whole-hearted.  She  was  willing  not  only  to  share 
good  fortune  equally  with  them,  but  even,  to  take 
the  smaller  portion  herself.  ' 

We  have  seen  that  after  her  mother's  second 
marriage  she  became  her  brother's  house-keeper. 
Within  a  year  the  brother  was  married,  and  there- 
after his  abode  was  Mary's  home  until  1819,  when 
he  removed  to  Ohio.  His  removal  was  the  cause 
of  much  grief  to  her  affectionate  heart.  Just  be- 
fore the  family  started  for  their  "Western  home, 
she  slipped  the  following  lines  into  the  hand  of  her 
brother's  wife :  — 

"  Not  one  sigh  shall  tell  my  story, 

Not  one  tear  my  cheek  shall  stain; 
Silent  grief  shall  be  my  glory, 
'  Grief  that  stoops  not  to  complain. " 

She  had  become  tenderly  attached  to  his  little 
children,  and  their  departure  was  like  sundering 
her  very  heart-strings.  "  Her  friends  that  remained 
with  her  well  remember  her  grief  as  they  were 
borne  away.  For  months  afterwards,  whenever 


88      THE  GOOD  GIRL  AND  TRUK  WOMAN. 

that  brother  was  spoken  of  in  her  presence,  her 
tears  would  flow,  and  her  silent  and  subdued  feel- 
ings did  not  hinder  her  friends  from  seeing  how 
deeply  and  tenderly  she  loved  him.  Little  did  she 
imagine  that,  in  process  of  time,  those  daughters 
were  to  return,  to  receive  instruction  from  her  lips 
in  a  seminary  founded  by  her  instrumentality ;  and, 
being  better  fitted  to  perform  the  duties  of  life, 
were  to  go  forth,  some  to  labor  as  teachers  in  our 
own  country,  and  one  to  teach  the  benighted 
heathen  under  the  shadow  of  a  Chinese  pagoda." 

The  following  extract  from  a  letter  addressed  to 
one  of  her  sisters  gives  us  a  key  to  her  faithful  heart : 

"  Although  I  am  pleasantly  situated,  and  have 
no  more  cares  and  little  daily  trials  than  I  should 
expect,  yet  it  would  be  pleasant  to  spend  an  hour 
with  one  of  my  dear  sisters,  to  whom  I  could  tell 
all  my  heart.  The  fact  that  no  two  of  our  family, 
unless  it  be  our  brother  and  our  sister  Rosina,  are 
spending  this  summer  together,  awakens  emotions 
peculiar  and  rather  gloomy.  Ever  since  I  heard 
of  brother  Moore's  death,  but  more  particularly  for 
two  days  past,  I  have  thought  much  of  my  brother 
and  sisters.  I  have  seemed  to  review  twenty  years 
with  relation  to  ourselves.  Change  and  revolution, 
uncertainty  and  disappointment,  decay  and  death, 
are  stamped  on  every  object.  I  see  this  family,  that 
about  twenty  years  ago  were  prattling  children, 


A   TRUE    SISTER.  89 

united  and  happy  in  the  arms  of  their  fond  parents, 
now  scattered  over  four  different  States  of  the 
Union,  and  some  of  them  seven  hundred  miles 
apart. 

"  Let  me  hear  not  only  from  yourself,  but  also 
from  my  other  friends.  Separation  does  not  lessen 
the  interest  I  take  in  their  welfare.  When  I  think 
of  the  older  members  of  the  family,  I  also  involun- 
tarily think  of  their  children.  I  have  the  same 
kind  of  interest  in  their  prosperity  that  I  have  ever 
had  for  that  of  their  parents.  Sometimes  I  feel 
that  it  would  be  a  privilege  to  live,  to  render  my- 
self useful  to  the  children  of  my  brothers  and 
sisters." 

To  another  sister  she  wrote  :  "  O  that  I  could  fly 
over  the  hills  and  pay  you  a  visit.  Friends  know 
best  the  strength  of  their  love  when  they  are  sepa- 
rated. If  possible,  I  think  more  of  you  now  than 
ever.  But  should  I  fill  a  whole  sheet  in  describing 
my  desire  to  see  you,  and  the  delight  which  would 
be  derived  from  an  interview  with  you,  it  would  be 
saying  just  nothing  at  all ;  therefore  I  shall  leave 
all  to  be  supplied  by  your  imagination." 

The  folio  wing 'touching  epistle  was  addressed  to 
her  brother :  — 

"SOUTH  HADLBT,  Dec.  3,  1840. 

"  But  a  few  years  ago,  we  seemed  an  unbroken 
circle.  Though  separated  from  each  other,  we 


90      THE  GOOD  GIRL  AND  TRUE  WOMAN. 

seven  were  all  living,  and  could  think  and  pray  for 
one  another  from  day  to  day.  After  the  hand  of 
death  was  laid  on  our  dear  father,  nearly  thirty 
years  passed  away  before  any  one  of  us  was 
called  out  of  time  into  eternity.  Since  then,  how 
frequently  have  we  been  called  to  mourning  !  How 
great  have  been  the  ravages  of  death !  You  have 
heard  of  sister  F^s  departure,  and  now  it  becomes 
my  painful  duty  to  tell  you  that  another  one  is 
gone.  Yes,  our  dear  mother  is  no  more.  My  dear 
brother,  can  you  think  how  lonely  it  was  to  me  as 
I  followed  her  dear  remains  to  the  grave,  with  no 
brother  or  sister  by  my  side  ?  I  felt  that  indeed 
our  family  was  but  a  broken  circle.  As  I  passed 
out  of  the  door  where  I  have  often  met  her  glad- 
dened and  joyful  face,  as  I  went  along  my  way, 
where  we  have  so  many  times  rode  together  to  see 
sister  J.,  and  as  I  looked  on  her  placid  face  for  the 
last  time,  '  Can  this  be,'  thought  I,  '  my  dear 
mother  ?  and  is  this  my  last  visit  to  her  solitary 
home  ? ' " 

One  of  her  sisters  died  at  the  hospital  in  Hart- 
ford, and  Mary  paid  "  all  her  regular  bills,  and  the 
extra  charges  for  nursing  and  watching."  She  did 
this  in  order  that  the  small  property  her  sister 
left  might  be  divided  among  her  children.  "  It  is 
recollected,"  also,  says  another,  "  How  she  watched 
over  the  infant  child  of  her  youngest  sister,  which 


A.   TRUE    8ISTEE.  91 

died  but  a  few  days  before  its  mother ;  how  she 
nursed  it  with  her  own  hands,  and  ever  spoke  of  it 
with  animation,  as  in  the  infant  choir  above." 

Nearly  all  her  nieces  enjoyed  her  tuition  one 
year  or  more  at  South  Hadley,  and  to  some  extent 
they  were  aided  pecuniarily  by  her.  In  a  letter  to 
one  of 'them,  she  pledged  her  enough  to  pay  her 
tuition  at  the  institution,  which  was  twenty-five 
dollars  a  year. 

In  short,  she  was  all  that  a  sister  could  be  to  the 
family.  Her  presence  in  their  circle  was  like  that 
of  a  ministering  spirit.  Her  going  forth  from  them 
left  sadness  and  tears  behind ;  her  return  caused 
joy  and  gladness.  It  was  the  same  kind  of  influ- 
ence in  other  spheres  that  contributed  to  her  use- 
fulness and  distinction.  She  was  a  TRUE  SISTER, 
and,  partly  in  consequence,  she  became  a  true 
woman. 

Every  girl  who  would  occupy  an  enviable  place 
in  riper  years  must  imitate  her  worthy  example. 
It  is  the  character  formed  at  home  that  will  exhibit 
itself  when  the  duties  of  womanhood  are  assumed. 
The  want  of  sisterly  affection,  and  that  high- 
minded  aim  and  principle  of  action  that  every 
young  woman  ought  to  possess,  will  disqualify  you 
for  many  of  the  most  important  duties.  It  is,  then, 
for  your  own  sake  mainly,  that  I  would  urge  these 
thoughts  upon  your  attention.  Generally  girls  are 


92     THE  GOOD  GIRL  AND  TRUE  WOMAN. 

instructed  to  act  well  their  part  as  sisters  on  ac- 
count of  doing  good  to  others.  We  grant  that  this 
is  no  inferior  topic  to  be  considered,  that  it  demands 
the  attention  of  every  girl.  And  yet,  we  now  ask 
the  reader  to  be  true  as  a  sister  for  her  own  sake. 
Her  endeavors  to  be  such  will  be  a  better  discipline 
for  future  responsibilities  than  much  that  is  learned 
in  schools  and  in  social  circles. 

Mark  that  sister  whose  unamiable  disposition, 
and  utter  indifference  to  the  feelings  and  character 
of  a  brother,  cause  him  to  seek  his  pleasure  away 
from  home.  She  never  dreams  that  she  has  duties 
to  discharge  to  him.  Perhaps  she  is  vain  and  tri- 
fling, also;  and  he  concludes  that  all  the  female 
sex  are  like  her — a  conclusion  that  destroys  his  re- 
spect for  woman,  and  thereby  exposes  him  to  more 
direful  temptations.  It  is  quite  evident  that  the 
defects  of  character  which  caused  her  brother  to 
seek  his  pastime  in  other  company  disqualify  her  to 
make  a  home  of  her  own  attractive  at  some  future 
day.  If  she  has  not  sufficient  interest  in  the  hap- 
piness and  success  of  a  brother,  to  lead  her  to 
.  practise  some  self-denial,  and  study  how  to  lead 
him,  unsuspected,  in  the  path  of  virtue,  surely  she 
will  not  have  interest  enough  in  the  welfare  of 
others  to  exert  herself  much  in  their  behalf.  Her 
failure  as  a  sister  at  home  foretells  her  failure  as  a 
woman  abroad. 


A   TRUE    SISTER.  98 

Dr.  Alcott  says,  "  I  have  seldom  found  a  young 
man  who  had  strayed  long  and  widely  from  the 
path  of  virtue,  who  had  enjoyed  the  society  and 
influence  of  a  wise  and  virtuous  and  attentive  sister. 
On  the  contrary,  I  have  almost  uniformly  found 
such  individuals  to  have  been  in  families  where 
there  were  no  sisters,  or  where  the  sisters  were  not 
what  they  ought  to  have  been ;  or  to  have  been 
kept  at  school  where  there  were  none  but  our  sex." 

Washington  Irving  says,  "  Often  have  I  lamented 
that  Providence  denied  me  the  companionship  of 
sisters.  Often  have  I  thought,  had  I  been  thus 
favored  I  should  have  been  a  better  man." 

"  That  man,"  said  a  keen  observer  of  human  na- 
ture, "  has  been  brought  up  in  the  society  of  intel- 
ligent and  virtuous  sisters."  "Whence  do  you 
infer  that?"  said  the  person  addressed.  "B£ 
cause,"  he  replied,  "he  exhibits  that  gentleness 
and  delicacy  of  feeling  which  result  from  the  influ- 
ence of  intelligent  and  virtuous  sisters." 

The  missionary,  Henry  Martyn,  was  brought  to 
Christ  through  the  influence  of  a  pious  sister ;  and 
he  confessed  that  it  was  her  Christian  example 
which  made  him  what  he  was,  after  his  conversion. 

A  gentleman  of  considerable,  celebrity  relates 
that  he  was  saved  from  ruin  through  the  agency  of 
an  only  sister.  He  had  for  some  time  associated 
with  dissipated  young  men,  of  which  fact  the 


94      THE  GOOD  GIRL  AND  TRUE  WOMAN. 

family  were  ignorant.  One  evening  he  went  home, 
and  found  his  sister  in  tears  over  a  letter.  He  beg- 
ged the  privilege  of  reading  it,  to  which  she  as- 
sented. The  letter  was  from  a  friend,  disclosing 
the  evil  course  of  her  brother.  He  read  it,  and 
was  about  to  break  out  in  angry  words,  when  she 
said,  "  I  fear  that  for  the  last  few  months  I  have 
done  little  to  make  home  pleasant  to  you.  I  have 
suffered  my  time  and  thoughts  to  be  engrossed  by 
pursuits  in  which  you  could  have  no  share,  and 
compelled  you,  in  a  manner,  to  look  abroad  for 
amusement.  This  letter  has  aroused  me  to  a  sense 
of  my  negligence.  I  feel  that  I  am  to  blame  for 
what  is  here  revealed  to  me.  You  will  forgive  me, 
dear  Edward ;  I  promise  reformation,  and  we  Avill 
be  to  each  other  as  we  used  to  be,  will  we  not  ?  " 

"  It  is  impossible,"  said  Mr. ,  wrhen  relating 

the  circumstance  many  years  after,  "to  describe 
the  effect  of  these  words.  I  had  expected  —  not 
reproaches,  it  is  true,  from  the  gentle  girl,  but  what 
I  dreaded  much  more  —  a  burst  of  overwhelming 
sorrow.  How  beautifully  her  meek,  forbearing 
affection  disappointed  me,  and  to  how  much  better 
purpose.  It  subdued  me  at  once;  called  into 
action  every  nobler  impulse  of  my  nature ;  and 
the  resolutions  that  I  then  formed  have,  by  the 
blessing  of  God,  resulted  in  a  course  of  life,  which, 
I  hope,  has  not  been  altogether  useless,  and  con- 


A    TRUE    SISTER.  95 

ducted  me  to  my  present  position  among  my  fellow 
men." 

Now,  take  the  foregoing  facts,  and  sentiments  of 
distinguished  writers,  and  what  do  they  show? — Not 
only  that  every  true  sister  exerts  a  hallowed  influ- 
ence upon  her  brothers,  causing  them  to  becdme 
better  men;  but  also,  a  force  and  excellence  of 
female  character  which  promises  a  useful  and 
charming  womanhood.  We  can  say,  with  Alcott 
and  Irving,  that  certain  virtuous  and  noble  men 
were  trained  up  in  the  company  of  model  sisters ; 
and  we  can  also  say,  with  equal  truth,  of  some 
princely  women  with  whom  we  meet  here  and 
there,  "they  were  true  sisters  in  their  earlier 
days."  We  are  fully  Convinced  that  irresponsible, 
gay,  thoughtless  sisters,  as  many  girls  are,  could 
not  make  such  womanly  patterns  of  propriety  and 
goodness. 

Although  our  remarks  have  had  particular  re- 
ference to  brothers,  yet  they  are  equally  applicable 
to  the  influence  of  one  sister  over  another.  For 
the  same  spirit,  and  the  same  noble  sentiments,  are 
necessary  in  intercourse  with  the  latter 'as  the 
former.  , 

In  addition  to  all  that  has  been  said,  how  beau- 
tiful is  that  unquenchable  love  which 'is  ready  to 
make  sacrifices,  and  endure  trial  and  suffering,  for 
a  brother's  or  sister's  sake  ?  There  ar<3  some  im- 


96     THE  GOOD  GIRL  AND  TRUE  WOMAN. 

pressive  examples  on  record,  which  the  reader  of 
history  has  always  pondered  with  exquisite  plea- 
sure, as  among  the  charming  things  of  earth. 
There  was  the  princess  Elizabeth,  sister  to  king 
Louis  of  France,  who  is  known  for  a  signal  act  of 
sisterly  affection.  The  queen,  her  sister,  had  be- 
come an  object  of  contempt  and  hatred  to  many 
of  the  Parisians.  Finally,  a  mob  assembled  one 
day,  and  broke  into  the  royal  palace,  for  the  pur- 
pose of  taking  the  queen's  life.  "  Where,  where  is 
she  ?  Let  us  have  her  head  !  "  they  cried,  as  they 
rushed  into  an  apartment  where  the  princess  Eliz- 
abeth was.  . 

"  I  am  the  queen,"  replied  the  princess. 

"  She  is  not  the  queen  !  "  -shouted  her  attendants, 
as  they  hastened  to  save  her  from  instant  death. 

"  For  the  love  of  God,"  exclaimed  the  princess, 
do  not  undeceive  these  men !  Is.it  not  better  that 
they  should  shed  my  blood  than  that  of  my  sister  ?  " 
Her  devotion  to  a  sister's  welfare  was  truly  mag- 
nanimous, although  we  would  not  endorse  the  de- 
ception which  she  practised  to  save  her. 

It  is  also  related  of  Intaphernes,  that  he  was  con- 
demned to  death,  with  all  his  children,  and  his 
wife's  brother,  by  Darius,  king  of  Persia.  His 
wife  interceded  for  his  release,  and  continued  her 
appeals  with  such  importunity,  that  the  king  finally 
said  to  her,  "  Woman,  king  Darius  offers  you  the 


A    TRUE    SISTER.  97 

liberty  of  any  individual  of  your  family  whom  you 
may  desire  to  preserve."  After  some  deliberation, 
she  made  this  reply :  "  If  the  king  will  grant  me 
the  life  of  any  one  of  my  family,  I  choose  my 
brother  in  preference  to  the  rest."  Darius  was 
surprised  at  her  choice,  and  sent  her  a  second  mes- 
sage as  follows:  "The  king  desires  to  know  why 
you  have  thought  proper  to  pass  over  your  children 
and  your  husband,  and  to  preserve  your  brother, 
who  is  certainly  a  more  remote  connection  than 
your  children,  and  cannot  be  so  dear  to  you  as 
your  husband  ?  "  She  answered,  "  O  king !  if  it 
please  the  deity,  I  may  have  another  husband ;  and 
if  I  be  depi-ived  of  these,  may  have  other  children; 
but  as  my  parents  ai'e  both  of  them  dead,  it  is  cer- 
tain that  I  can  have  no  other  brother."  The  king 
was  so  well  pleased  with  her  answer  that  he  released 
not  only  her  brother,  but  also  her  eldest  son. 

These  are  unusual  examples,  it  is  true ;  but  they 
better  serve  to  set  forth  the  strength  of  that  fra- 
ternal love  which  God  has  implanted  in  woman's 
heart.  All  kindred  expressions  of  sisterly  regard 
awaken  our  admiration,  and  cause  us  to  feel  that 
corresponding  nobleness,  in  other  respects,  must  dis- 
tinguish the  possessors.  It  is  difficult  to  believe  that 
this  virtue  is  all  that  characterizes  the  actors ;  for 
it  is  indissolubly  connected  in  our  minds  with  others 
of  equal  beauty  and  worth.  It  is  only  one  bright 
'9 


98     THE  GOOD  GIRL  AND  TRUE  WOMAN. 

link  in  a  golden  chain  of  graces  that  adorn  tho 
spirit  of  their  womanhood. 

"  Be  kind  to  thy  BROTHER  ;  his  heart  will  have  dearth 

If  the  smile  of  thy  joy  be  withdrawn; 
The  flowers  of  feeling  will  fade  at  their  birth, 

If  the  light  of  affection  be  gone. 
Be  kind  to  thy  brother  wherever  you  are; 

The  love  of  a  brother  shall  be 
An  ornament,  purer  and  richer,  by  far, 

Than  pearls  from  the  depths  of  the  sea. 

"  Be  kind  to  thy  SISTER;  not  many  may  know 

The  depths  of  true  sisterly  love; 
The  wealth  of  the  ocean  lies  fathoms  below 

The  surface  that  sparkles  above. 
Be  kind  to  thy  FATHER,  once  fearless  and  bold; 

Be  kind  to  thy  MOTHER,  so  near; 
Be  kind  to  thy  BROTHER,  nor  show  thy  heart  cold; 

Be  kind  to  thy  SISTER,  so  dear."    . 


CHAPTER    VIII. 

AMIABILITY. 

A.  JEWEL  IN  MART  LYOIf'S  CHARACTER  —  NO  GIRL  SHOULD  BE 
WITHOUT  IT  —  A  SELFISH,  JEALOUS,  PEEVISH,  ENVIOUS,  VIOLENT 
SPIRIT,  INCONSISTENT  WITH  IT  —  REMARKS  OP  HANNAH  MORE  — 
OF  REV.  J.  A.  JAMES  —  EXAMPLE  OP  OCTAVIA  —  OP  MARGARET 
WINTHROP  —  LETTER  TO  HER  HUSBAND  —  A  WAGEK  ABOUT 
WIVES  IN  A  BAR-ROOM,  WITH  ITS  RESULTS. 

IT  would  be  quite  impossible  to  find  a  single  instance 
of  an  unaraiable  temper  in  the  whole  life  of  Mary 
Lyon.  Her  character  was  adorned  with  that  most 
becoming  ornament,  "a  meek  and  quiet  spirit." 
This  is  the  more  remai'kable  on  account  of  the  en- 
ergy, decision,  and  perseverance,  with  which  she 
prosecuted  the  duties  of  life.  These  qualities  are 
often  found  in  connection  with  a  disagreeable  tem- 
per ;  while  amiability  is  frequently  possessed  by 
the  irresolute,  stupid,  and  inefficient.  For  this 
reason  it  appears  with  threefold  lustre  in  a  char- 
acter of  snoh  force  and  magnanimity  as  that  of 
Mary  Lyon.  It  was  this,  in  part,  which  invested 
her  with  a  charm  for  every  person  who  became 
familiar  with  her  uniform  spirit.  It  drew  a  crowd 


100          THE   GOOD    GIUL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

of  admiring  friends  around  her,  while  it  contributed 
to  make  her  a  welcome  guest  in  the  humblest  and 
highest  circles. 

No  girl  can  afford  to  be  destitute  of  this  winning 
quality.  She  may  seek  the  accomplishments  of  the 
"  best  society ; "  but  these  will  not  atone  for  the 
absence  of  amiability.  The  want  of  a  sweet,  gentle 
spirit,  will  expose  her  to  many  temptations,  whereby 
her  impulsive  nature  will  be  disclosed.  With  fewer 
accomplishments  of  learning  and  manners,  and  a 
larger  share  of  this  lovely  temper,  she  would  find 
the  way  more  readily  to  the  hearts  of  those  around 
her. 

There  are  several*  kinds  of  temper  among  girls 
inconsistent  with  the  one  in  question.  There  is  the 
selfish  spirit,  which  considers  not  the  wants  and 
circumstances  of  others.  It  claims  for  itself  what- 
ever good  it  can  secure,  and  keeps  all  it  can  get. 
Of  course,  it  is  a  very  unlovely  quality  in  a  world 
like  ours,  where  there  is  need  of  heartfelt  sympathy 
every  day  and  hour.  There  is  also  the  jealous 
spirit,  which  is  neither  happy  itself,  nor  willing  that 
others  should  be,  Its  likes  and  dislikes,  more  par- 
ticularly the  latter,  are  continually  manifesting 
themselves  through  the  manners.  There  is  the 
envious  spirit,  that  looks  upon  the  possessions  and 
honors  of  others  with  a  coveting  eye,  and  even 
grudges  to  the  good  their  shining  virtues.  It  was 


AMIABILITY.  101 

•       » 

this  contemptible  spirit  which  made  Human  un- 
happy so  long  as  Mordecai  the  Jew  sat  at  the 
king's  g'ate.  In  like  manner  it  destroys  the  happi- 
ness and  mars  the  character  of  many  a  foolish  girl. 
There  is  a  peevish  and  fretful  disposition  which 
exhibits  itself  at  many  a  hearthstone.  It  is  sat- 
isfied with  few  persons  and  things,  and  is  ever 
complaining  over  passing  experience.  And  there  is 
the  violent  temper,  which  is  more  repulsive  than 
all ;  for^it  is  one  of  the  worst  blemishes  of  female 
character.  Yet  it  is  frequently  seen  among  girls,  to 
their  no  small  discredit. 

All  such  tempers  of  mind,  being  inconsistent  with 
true  amiability,  are  a  hinderance  to  female  success 
in  life.  They  exclude  the  possessors  from  some  of 
the  choicest  company,  and  close  against  them  some 
of  the  most  desirable  channels  of  influence. 

Hannah  More  penned  the  following  paragraph 
upon  this  subject,  in  which  she  exposes  some  of  the 
arts  by  which  a  really  unamiable  spirit  is  sometimes 
concealed : 

"  A  very  termagant  woman,  if  she  happens  also 
to  be  a  very  artful  one,  will  be  conscious  she  has  so 
much  tq  conceal,  that  -  the  dread  of  betraying  her 
real  temper  will  make  her  put  on  an  over-acted 
softness,  which,  from  its  very  excess,  may  be  dis- 
tinguished from  the  natural,  by  a  penetrating  eye. 
That  gentleness  is  ever  liable  to  be  suspected  for 
.  9* 


102  THK    GOOD   GIKL    ANI>    TRUE    WOMAN. 

• 

the  counterfeited,  which  is  so  excessive  as  to  de- 
prive people  of  the  proper  use  of  speech  and  mo- 
tion ;  or  which,  as  Hamlet  says,  '  makes  them  lisp 
and  amble,  and  nickname  God's  creatures.' 

"The  countenance  and  manners  of  some  very 
fashionable  persons  may  be  compared  to  the  in- 
scriptions on  then-  monuments,  which  speak  nothing 
but  good  of  what  is  within;  but  lie  who  knows 
any  thing  of  the  world,  or  of  the  human  heart,  will 
no  more  trust  to  the  courtesy  than  he  will  Depend 
on  the  epitaph.  -^  ;*. 

"  Many  ladies  complain  that,  for  their  part,  their 
spirit  is  so  meek  they  can  bear  nothing;  whereas, 
if  they  spoke  truth,  they  would  say,  their  spirit  is 
so  high  and  unbroken,  that  they  can  bear  nothing. 
Strange!  to  plead  their  meekness  as  a  reason  why 
they  cannot  endure  to  be  crossed,  and  to  produce 
their  impatience  of  contradiction  as  a  proof  of  their 
gentleness ! " 

These  remarks  are  very  just,  and  they  will  aid 
the  reader  to  understand  the  nature  of  amiability, 
such  as  Mary'Lyon,  and  kindred  spirits,  have  pos- 
sessed. It  is  not  that  kind  of  gentleness  that  runs 
into  servility,  for  this  is  often  -a  dangerous  weakness. 
"  She  who  hears  innocence  maligned  without  vindi- 
cating it,  falsehood  asserted  without  contradicting 
it,  or  religion  profaned  without  resenting  it,  is  not 
gentle,  but  wicked." 


AMIABILITY.  103 

Says  Rev.  Mr.  James,  in  addressing  young  wo- 
men upon  the  value  of  this  quality  to  a  religious 
profession,  "  There  are  some  persons  whose  bad 
temper  is  unassociated  with  piety,  or,  indeed,  moral 
worth  of  any  kind ;  and  they  are  wasps,  hornets, 
scorpions ;  all  venom  and  no  honey ;  according  to 
the  degree  of  malignity  they  possess.  There  are 
others  who  have  -real  godliness,  and  some  sterling 
excellence  of  otljer  kinds,  and  they  resemble  the 
bees,  who,  though  they  have  honey,  yet  are  some- 
what irritable,  and  have  also  a  sting  for  those  who 
offend  them.  Cultivate,  then,  a  lovely  and  amiable 
temper^  as  one  of  the  brightest  ornaments  of  re- 
ligion. It  is  to  religion  what  the  burnish  is  to  the 
gold,  the  polish  to  the  steel,  the  fragrance  to  the 
rose,  the  sunshine  to  the  prospect." 

There  are  many  eminent  examples  of  this  virtue 
on  record,  two  or  three  of  which  we  shall  notice. 

Octavia  was  a  Roman  lady  renowned  for  her 
beauty  and  virtues.  In  no  respect  did  she  present 
a  wider  contrast  with  most  of  the  distinguished 
females  of  her  day  than  in  her  amiable  dispositio^ 
Nought  of  pride,  vanity,  envy,  or  kindred  malevo- 
lent feelings,  were  discoverable  in  her  intercourse 
with  the  world.  Even  when  her  second  husband 
proved  recreant  to  his  conjugal  vows,  and  cast  her 
off,  there  was  the  same  sweetness  and  gentle  bear- 
ing in  her  behavior  as  before.  Through  the  wear- 


104  THE    GOOD   GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN'. 

ing  grief  of  her  heart,  of  which  she  died  at  last, 
there  was  clearly  to  be  seen  the  evidence  of  a 
serene  and  lovely  spirit,  that  won  the  hearts  of  be- 
holders. It  was  this  quality,  as  much  as  any  other, 
which  so  endeared  her  to  the  Roman  people,  that, 
after  her  death,  they  desired  to  pay  her  divine 
honors. 

Margaret  Winthrop  was  the  wife  of  the  firSt 
Governor  of  Massachusetts.  She  WAS  known  among 
the  principal  women  of  her  day  for  her  equable, 
mild,  and  "happy  disposition.  In  this  respect  she 
was  a  model  for  those  around  her.  She  had  other 
noble  virtues,  for  amiability  is  never  found  alone. 
A  cluster  of  charming  graces  always  keep  it  com- 
pany. But  this  appears  to  be  the  central  excel- 
lence around  which  they  revolve.  It  was  so  with 
Mrs.  Winthrop,  and  her  presence  was  greeted  with 
delight  everywhere.  The  following  paragraph, 
which  she  once  addressed  to  her  absent  husband, 
could  be  penned  only  by  such  a  lovely  spirit :  "  It 
is  your  love  that  conceives  the  best,  and  makes  all 
things  seem  better  than  they  are.  I  wish  that  I 
might  always  please  thee,  and  that  those  comforts 
which  we  have  in  each  other  may  be  daily  increased, 
as  far  as  they  be  pleasing  to  God.  I  will  use  the 
speech  to  thee  that  Abigail  did  to  David,  *  I  will  be 
a  servant  to  wash  the  feet  of  my  lord.'  I  will  do 
any  service  wherein  I  may  please  my  good  hus- 


AMIABILITY.  105 

band.  I  confess  I  cannot  do  enough  for  thee ;  but 
thou  art  pleased  to  accept  the  will  for  the  deed, 
and  rest  contented." 

It  is  related  of  a  worldly  man,  that  he  w#s 
spending  an  evening  with  some  friends  at  a  coffee- 
house, when  the  characters  of  their  wives  became 
the  subject  of  remark.  As  their  heads  were  some: 
what  inflamed  with  strong  drink,  the  defects  of  their 
respective  companions  were  particularly  discussed. 
One  of  the  number,  however,  spoke  as  follows  of 
his  wife :  "  As  to  my  wife,  all  that  I  could  say  in 
her  praise  would  fall  far  below  the  truth.  My  wife 
unites  all  the  virtues,  all  the  amiable  qualities, 
which  I  can  desire.  She  would  be  perfect  if  she 
were  not  a  Methodist.  But  her  piety  gives  her 
no  ill  humor.  Nothing  disturbs  her  equanimity  ; 
nothing  irritates  her,  nor  renders  her  impatient.  I 
might  go  with  you,  gentlemen,  at  midnight,  and 
ask  her  to  get  up  and  serve  us  with  a  supper,  and 
she  would  not  show  the  least  discontent.  She 
would  do  the  honors  of  the  table  with  as  much  as- 
siduity as  if  I  had  brought  loved  and  long-expected 
guests." 

«'  Well,  then,  let  us  put  your  wife  to  the  proof," 
said  the  others. 

Considerable  money  was  staked  as  to  the  result, 
and,  at  midnight,  the  company  started  off  for  the 
trial.  They  reached  the  house,  and  the  husband 
rapped,  to  which  the  servant  at  once  responded. 


106  THE    GOOD    GIRL    AND    TKUE    W.»MAX. 

"  Where  is  my  wife  ?  "  he  inquired. 

"  Sir,  she  is  asleep  long  ago." 

"  Go  wake  her,  and  tell  her  to  prepare  a  supper 
foi^me  and  ray  friends." 

It  was  not  long  before  the  wife  made  her  appear- 
ance, and  met  the  company  with  a  pleasant  coun- 
tenance. 

"Fortunately,"  said  she,  "I  have  some  pro- 
visions in  my  house,  and  in  a  fetv  minutes  supper 
will  be  ready." 

She  was  as  good'as  her  word  ;  and  the  company 
were  invited  to  the  repast.  She  presided  at  the 
table,  and  bestowed  upon  the  guests  the  most 
polite  attention.  They  could  not  discover  the 
slightest  trace  of  a  ruffled  temper  in  her  counte- 
nance. At  length  one  of  them  exclaimed : 

"  Madam,  your  politeness  amazes  us.  Our  sudden 
appearance  in  your  house  at  so  unseasonable  an 
hour  is  owing  to  a  wager.  We  have»  lost  it,  and 
we  do  not  complain.  But,  tell  us,  how  is  it  possible 
that  you,  a  pious  person,  should  treat  with  so  much 
kindness  persons  whose  conduct  you  cannot  ap- 
prove ?  " 

"  Gentlemen,"  she  replied,  "  when  we  were  mai-- 
ried,  my  husband  and  myself,  we  both  lived  in  dis- 
sipation. Since  that  time  it  has  pleased  the  Lord 
to  convert  me  to  himself.  My  husband,  on  the  con- 
trary, continues  to  go  on  in  the  ways  of  worldli- 


AMIABILITY.  107 

ness.  I  tremble  for  his  future  state.  If  he  should 
die  now,  he  would  need  to  be  pitied.  As  it  is  not 
possible  for  me  to  save  him  from  that  punishment 
which  awaits  him  in  the  world  to  come,  if  he  is  not 
converted,  I  must  apply  myself  at  least  to  render 
his  present  life  as  agreeable  as  possible." 

It  requires  the  most  complete  self-control  to  cul- 
tivate such  amiability  as  we  see  in  the  foregoing 
incidents.  This  is  so  much  the  better  for  the  girl 
who  is  disposed  to  go  and  do  likewise. 


CHAPTER    IX. 


MODESTY. 


ITS  CHARM  CONCEDED  BY  ALL  NATIONS  —  SAMARITAN  AND  8YB- 
IAN  LADIES  —  VIEWS  OP  WRITERS  —  JAMES  —  DR.  ALCOTT  — 
BOLDNESS  DESTROYS  FEMALE  INFLUENCE  —  THE  SCRIPTURES  ON 
THE  SUBJECT — WOMEN  OF  THE  BIBLE — MARY  LYON  WAS  MOD- 
EST—  AN  UNASSUMING  SCHOLAR  —  A  HUMBLE  WOMAN  —  THB 
NEW  ENGLAND  BEAUTY  AT  HOME  AND  ABROAD — THE  DAUGH- 
TER OF  DR.  BUMKY  AND  HER  FA^IE — THE  WIFE  OF  PRESIDENT 
POLK,  AND  LINES  OF  MRS.  STEPHENS  —  WI FE  OF  JOHN  ADAMS  AND 
HER  LETTER  —  MOTHEP.  OF  WASHINGTON  —  GATHERING  OF 
FRENCH  AND  AMERICAN  OFFICERS  AT  FREDERICKSBURG. 


MODESTY  has  ever  been  regarded*  one  of  the 
principal  charms  of  woman.'  In  all  ages  and  nations 
it  has  held  about  the  same  rank  and  value.  Even 
the  heathen  place  it  high  among  the  feminine 
graces.  Dr.  Bowring  informs  us  that  the  Sama- 
ritan, Syrian,  and  Mussulman  females,  whom  he  saw 
in  his  Eastern  travels,  were  accustomed  to  veil 
themselves  in  public;  and  he  was  asked  on  one 
occasion,  whether  "the  English  women  were  so 
immodest  as  to  walk  out  with  uncovered  faces?" 
Different  nations  may  not  agree  in  their  sentiments 
concerning  the  nature  of  genuine  modesty;  but 


MODESTY.  109 

none  faJ  v,  n-r*-^m  it  highly  according  to  their  own 
views  of  its  <'hsvacter. 

Says  Rev.  Mr.  Jumes,  "  It  must  never  be  forgotten 
that  bashfulness  is  the  beauty  of  female  character ; 
like  the  violet,  which  seems  to  court  seclusion,  and 
indicates  its  coy  retreat  rather  by  its  fragrance  than 
its  obtrusiveness  of  color  or  of  place,  her  very  retir* 
ingness  adds  to  he-'  attractions.  Any  thing  that 
would  destroy  this—  that  would  strip  off  this  delicate 
veil  of  modesty,  and  make  her  bold  and  obtrusive ; 
that  would  thrust  her,  by  an  impulsive  ambition  of 
her  own  mind,  upon  the  public  notice,  instead  of 
being  sought  out  for  usefulness ;  that  would  make 
her  clamorous  in  her  complaints  of  neglect,  and 
imperious  in  her  demands  for  employment  —  would 
inflict  an  irreparable  injury  on  society  by  depriving 
her  of  that  passive  power  of  gentleness  by  which 
her  influence  can  be  most  effectually  exerted  in 
society." 

Says  Dr.  Alcott,  "  Of  all  the  qualities  appropriate 
to  young  women,  I  know  of  none  which  is  more 
universally  esteemed  than  modesty.  And  what 
has  been,  by  common  consent,  so  highly  esteemed, 
I  cannot  find  it  in  my  heart  to  undervalue.  In- 
deed, I  do  not  think  it  has  ever  been  over-valued, 
or  that  it  can  be." 

We  have  cited  these  opinoins  of  other  writers, 
and  we  might  bring  many  more  to  our  aid,  in 
10 


110          THE    GOOD   GIRL    AND    TUUE    WOMAN. 

order  to  show  that  we  do  not  attach  undue  im- 
portance to  the  quality  under  consideration.  It  is 
not  merely  an  adornment,  but  it  is  a  passport  to 
the  hearts  and  confidence  of  both  sexes.  A  bold, 
forward,  presuming  woman,  destroys  her  own  in- 
fluence. She  may  be  upon  an  errand  of  mercy, 
and  be  actuated  by  the  highest  motives;  but  a 
masculine  forwardness  defeats  the  object  of  her 
mission.  She  never  inspires  confidence.  Distrust 
rather  springs  upiin  her  path.  She  will  never 
occupy  a  high  position  of  influence  or  usefulness, 
because  she  has  laid  aside  that  Delightful  pro- 
tection and  passport  of  woman  —  modesty.  Pv<  - 
bably  no  instance  can  be  found  of  an  immodest  wo- 
man becoming  great  or  good  in  the  estimation  of 
mankind.  Hence,  this  virtue  is  to  be  sought,  not 
merely  for  its  beauty,  but  also  for  its  use.  It  is 
essential  to  the  attainment  of  the  highest  con- 
trolling influence  over  society.  No  woman  can  be 
truly  successful  in  performing  the  mission  of  life 
without  it.  K,-^  V 

The  Scriptures  make  it  a  prominent  quality. 
Paul,  in  writing  to  Timothy,  expressed  the  desire, 
"  That  women  adorn  themselves  in  modest  apparel, 
with  shamefacedness  and  sobriety ;  not  with  broi- 
dered  hair,  or  gold,  or  pearls,  or  costly  array ;  but 
(which  becometh  women  professing  godliness)  with 
good  works."  For  this  reason  he  taught  that  they 


MODESTY.  Ill 

should  be  silent  at  public  gatherings,  and  not 
presume  to  ask  the  public  ear.  Then,  too,  how 
charmingly  this  grace  appears"  in  those  women  of 
the  Bible  whose  names  and  characters  are  given ! 
Esther,  Ruth,  Rebecca,  Hannah,  Mary,  Eunice,  and 
many  other  Scripture  names,  are  familiar  to  the 
reader.  Is  not  modesty  a  marked  characteristic  of 
each  of  them  ?  With  what  singular  propriety  they 
occupy  the  p^es  assigned  them  by  Providence, 
content  to  act  in  their  own  sphere  of  retirement ! 
They  present  a  pleasant  spectacle  in  contrast  with 

those  modern  female  reformers  who  thrust  them- 

• 

selves  upon  public  notice,  and  go  from  place  to 
place  haranguing  a  certain  class  of  people,  who  are 
curious  or  foolish  enough  to  become  their  listeners. 

Illustrations  of  .this  element  of  female  character 
are  numerous  on  the  page  of  history.  It  is  a 
crown-jewel  in  the  characters  of  all  the  most  ex- 
cellent women  who  have  lived.  We  have  space  for 
only  three  or  four  examples. 

Mary  Lyon  shall  be  our  first.  Enough  has  ap- 
peared already  to  show  that  this  was  one  of  her 
virtues.  The  instructors  of  her  youth  bear  witness 
to  her  retiring  manners.  Although  she  usually  ex- 
celled all  other  pupils  in  school,  yet  she  seemed 
unconscious  of  her  abilities.  Her  schoolmates  could 
but  observe  the  unassuming  way  in  which  she  per- 
formed her  intellectual  feats.-  Never  forward  to 


112  THE    GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

speak  or  act,  she  was  considered  bashful  rather 
than  bold.  In  later  life,  when  she  knew,  of  course, 
that  the  public  conceded  her  superiority  in  some 
particulars,  she  still  maintained  the  same  modest 
demeanor.  At  the  time  she  was  soliciting  funds 
for  the  Holyoke  Seminary,  she  was  necessarily 
called  to  travel  much,  and  to  meet  men  of  rank 
and  wealth,  and  her  mind  was  considerably  exer- 
cised lest  lookers-on  should  constpiie  any  of  her 
acts  into  a  breach  of  modesty.  In  some  of  her 
letters  to  friends,  she  speaks  of  the  subject  in  a 
way  that  shows  her  high  appreciation  of  this 
feminine  qtiality.  Indeed,  without  it  she  could  not 
have  been  so  successful  as  she  was;  for  modesty 
itself  makes  a  strong  appeal  to  those  Avhose  aid  is 
sought.  And  we  might  add  that  humility  was 
found  in  connection  with  her  modesty.  These 
graces  are  frequently  found  together,  perhaps  al- 
ways, in  females  of  such  prominence  as  she.  Mod- 
esty may  exist  without  humility,  but  the  latter 
cannot  be  without  the  former.  In  Mary  Lyon 
both  blended  sweetly  together. 

Some  over  fifty  years  ago,  there  lived  a  young 
lady  in  Portland,  Maine,  who  was  considered  the 
flower  of  New  England  women.  Her  accomplish- 
ments were  equal  to  her  beauty.  She  was  married 
to  one  Richard  Derby,  a  man  of  high  culture  and 
splendid  fortune,  with  whom  she  visited  Europe. 


MODESTY.  113 

Iii  that  country  she  received  more  marked  at- 
tention than  had  been  bestowed  hitherto  upon 
any  American  woman.  Even,  kings  and  queens 
were  attracted  by  her  elegance,  grace,  and  beauty. 
Miny  foreigners  said  she  was  the  finest  woman 
they  had  ever  seen.  Yet  with  all  the  praises  and 
attentions  lavished  upon  her,  she  was  very  modest; 
and  perhaps  it  was  her  modesty  which,  in  part,  set 
off  her  other  charms  to  so  great  advantage.  That 

O  O 

she  should  possess  this  quality  in  such  circum- 
stances as  fortune  placed  her  in  was  a  surprise  to 
all,  and  it  was  a  theme  of  frequent  remark.  When 
she  was  forty  years  of  age,  a  writer  described  her 
thus :  "  She  was  thrown  a  child  into  the  whirl  of 
fashionable  life,  but  she  was  always  so  circumspect, 
discriminating,  and  modest,  that  the  enchantments 
01  the  Circean  cup,  so  often  swallowed  to  the  dregs 
by  the  fashionable  world,  never  poisoned  her  mind. 
If  she  ever  put  it  to  her  lips,  the  virtues  of  her 
heart  and  the  strength  of  her  understanding  were 
the  antidote  to  the  bane.  After  passing  through 
half  the  splendid  circles  of  the  globe,  on  this  conti- 
nent and  in  the  new  world,  and  the  admiration  of  all, 
she  is  still  as  gentle,  modest,  bland  and  conciliating, 
as  when  she  made  one  of  the  laughing  loves  of  the 
nursery  ....  The  sylph-like  grace  of  that  period  of 
life,  when  she  was  culling  the  violet  and  chasing 
the  golden-winged  insect  from  one  bed  of  flowers 


114          THE    GOOD   GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 
%  ;         ' 

to  another,  is  gone ;  but  that  rich  maturity  of 
charms,  when  all  that  is  desirable  in  person  and 
dignified  in  thought  and  manners,  are  in  full  per- 
fection. These  are  the  mature  charms,  which,  on 
the  banks  of  the  Nile,  won  the  mighty  Roman's 
heart,  and  made  him,  throw  away  the  world  for 
love.  Had  I  been  Paris,  and  sat  in  judgment  on 
Ida,  Juno  should  have  had  the  apple." 

Doctor  Burney,  an  English  "professor,  and  his- 
torian of  music,"  had  a  daughter,  Frances,  endowed 
with  a  brilliant  mind.  She  became  distinguished 
in  her  youth  for  her  literary  accomplishments  ;  and 
yet  she  was  not  elated  with  pride.  She  wrote  and 
sent  to  the  press  that  far-famed  work,  EVELINA, 
without  the  knowledge  of  her  father.  It  was  issued 
as  an  anonymous  production,  and  its  appearance 
was  hailed  with  unprecedented  satisfaction.  All 
who  read  it  admired.  The  press  was  prolific  in  its 
praises  of  the  unkaown  author.  Doctor  Burney 
heard  of  the  wonderful  book,  and  he  finally  pur- 
chased it,  and  proposed  to  read  it  aloud  to  his 
children.  Frances,  of  course,  was  as  anxious  to  hear 
it  as  the  others.  When  the  last  page  was  read, 
the  Doctor  expressed  his  opinion  of  it  in  words  of 
unbounded  praise.  Other  members  of  the  family 
did  the  same.  Frances  could  hold  out  no  longer, 
and  she  burst  into  tears,  as  she  threw  herself  upon 
her  father's  neck,  and  avowed  herself  to  be  the 


MODESTY.  115 

author.  The  announcement  was  received  with  in- 
expressible surprise,  mingled  with  delight.  When 
the  public  learned  who  the  author  of  the  work  was, 
there  was  no  limit  to  the  praises  poured  upon  her. 
Such  literary  characters  as  Johnson,  Reynolds,  and 
Edmund  Burke,  sought  her  out  as  a  literary  pro- 
digy. Still  she  was  not  elated.  She  sought  retire- 
ment rather  than  notoriety ;  and  it  was  probably 
this  trait  which  saved  her  from  being  spoiled  by 
fame,  and  made  her  a  useful,  substantial  woman  in 
mature  life. 

The  wife  of  the  late  President  Polk  was  a  wo- 
man of  rare  accomplishments  ;  and  her  modesty  was 
not  the  least  of  her  charms.  It  was  to  this  quality 
particularly  that  Mrs.  Stephens  paid  a  tribute  in 
the  beautiful  lines  which  she  addressed  to  her,  from 
which  we  extract  the  following : 

"  There,  standing  in  our  nation's  home, 

My  memory  ever  pictures  thee 
As  some  bright  dame  of  ancient  Rome — 

MODEST,  yet  all  a  queen  should  be. 
I  love  to  keep  thee  in  my  mind, 

Thus  mated  with  the  pure  of  old, 
When  love  with  lofty  deeds-  combined, 

Made  women  great  and  warriors  bold. 

"  When  first  I  saw  thee  standing  there, 
And  felt  the  pressure  of  thy  hand, 


116  THE    GOOD   GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

I  scarcely  thought  that  thou  wcrt  fair, 

Or  of  the  highest  in  the  land ; 
I  knew  thce  gentle,  pure  as  great ; 

All  that  was  lovely,  meek,  and  good; 
And  so  I  half  forgot  thy  state, 

In  love  of  thy  bright  womanhood." 

• 

When  John  Adams  was  elected  to  the  chief 
magistracy  of  the  United  States,  his  wife  wrote  to 
him  at  Philadelphia,  and  the  following  paragraph 
of  her  letter  shows  that  both  modesty  and  humility 
were  traits  of  her  character : 

"My  thoughts  and  my  meditations  are  with  yon, 
though  personally  absent;  and  my  petitions  to 
Heaven  are,  that  the  things  that  make  for  peace 
m:iy  not  be  hidden  from  your  eyes.  My  feelings 
are  not  those  of  pride  or  ostentation,  upon  the  oc- 
casion. They  are  solemnized  by  a  sense  of  the  ob- 
ligations, the  important  trusts,  and  numerous  duties 
connected  with  it.  That  you  may  be  enabled  to 
discharge  them  with  honor  to  yourself,  with  justice 
and  impartiality  to  your  country,  and  with  satis- 
faction to  this  great  people,  shall  be  the  daily 
prayer  of  your  A.  A." 

Another  conspicuous  exemplar  of  this  grace  was 
"  Mary,  the  mother  of  Washington."  That,  with 
all  her  strength  of  character,  and  all  the  glory  with 
which  a  grateful  people  invested  her  as  the  mother 
of  their  illustrious  leader,  she  was  singularly  modest, 


MODESTY.  117 

is  the  testimony  of  all  chroniclers  of  American  his- 
tory. She  appeared  scarcely  to  think  of  the  dis- 
tinguished honors  conferred  upon  her  son  in  her 
intercourse  with  him  or  others.  After  an  absence 
of  seven  years,  in  the  great  conflict  for  indepen- 
dence, he  returned  to  pay  a  visit  to  his  remembered 
mother.  Towns  and  cities  were  prepared  to  greet 
him  with  more  enthusiastic  devotion  than  was 
awarded  to  Grecian  and  Roman  conquerors  in 
ancient  days ;  but  no  demonstration  of  respect  and 
love  caused  the  good  woman  to  speak  or  act  in  any 
other  than  the  most  unassuming,  modest  way.  She 
met  him  at  the  door  of  her  dwelling,  and  embraced 
him  by  the  endearing  name  of  his  childhood, 
GEORGE.  She  inquired  after  his  health,  and  re- 
marked upon  the  traces  of  time  and  care  upon  his 
once  youthful  brow.  She-  had  much  to  say  about 
former  days  and  former  friends,  but  made  not  the 
slightest  allusion  to  his  glory.  Subsequently  there 
was  a  grand  gathering  of  French  and  American 
officers  in  Fredericksburg,  and  it  was  arranged  that 
Washington  should  conduct  his  mother  thither, 
to  introduce  her  to  foreign  officers,  who  were  anx- 
ious to  see  her.  Judging  from  European  examples, 
they  expected  to  behold  a  woman  of  proud  and 
haughty  mein,  glorying  in  the  triumphs  of  her  son, 
and  proud  to  be  his  mother.  What  was  their  sur- 
prise then,  to  behold  a  woman  of  the  most  unpre- 


118  THE    GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

tending  manners,  arrayed  in  \he  plainest  garb  of 
old  Virginian  style !  They  showered  attentions 
upon  her  during  the  evening,  none  of  which  ele- 
vated her  in  the  least;  and  at  an  early  hour  she 
retired,  remarking,  that  it  was  time  for  old  people 
to  be  at  home. 


CHAPTER    X. 


CONSCIENTIOUSNESS. 


MAKT  LYON'8  PUPIL  ON  A  JOURNEY  —  HER  CONSCIEBTIOU8NE8S 
THE  RESULT  OF  HKR  TEACHER'S  COUNSELS  —  ItARY  LYON'8  EX- 
AMPLE IN  THIS  KKGAUD  —  SUE  WAfl  CONSCIENTIOUS  IN  GIRL- 
HOOD —  SOME  A1SE  CONSCIENTIOUS  ONLY  IN  CERTAIN  THINGS  — 
AN  AMUSING  CASE  IN  POINT  —  MARY  LYON  AS  CONSCIENTIOUS 
IN  CHOOSING  DRESS  OR  BONNET  AS  IN  KEEPING  THE  SABBATH  — 
A  BEAUTIFUL  TRAIT  —  HELEN  WALKEB  WOULD  NOT  LIE  TO 
SAVE  THE  LIFE  OF  A  SISTER  —  INSCRIPTION  ON  HER  MONUMENT  — 
ABSURD  TO  SAY  DECEPTION  IS  EVER  NECESSARY  —  GIRLS  OP 
POLICY  CONTRASTED  WITH  MARY  LYON  —  GENTEEL  LYING  — 
A  WIFE'S  NOBLE  STAND  FOR  THE  SABBATH  —  ITS  BENEFITS. 


ON  one  occasion  a  pupil  of  Mary  Lyon  was  on  a 
journey,  when  the  following  incident  occurred. 
She  was  about  going  in  a  steamboat  to  a  certain 
place,  and  was  requested,  with  the  other  females,  to 
draw  lots  for  berths.  There  was  no  hesitation  on  the 
part  of  others ;  but  this  young  lady  said,  when  it 
came  her  turn  to  draw,  "  I  would  rather  not  draw. 
If  any  berth  is  left  after  the  other  passengers  are 
provided  for,  I  will  take  it ;  if  not,  very  well."  Her 
decided  stand  for  the  claims  of  her  conscience  was 
occasioned  by  her  teacher's  lessons  upon  the  sub- 
ject. Miss  Lyou's  exposition  of  Proverbs  xvi:  33, 


120  THE    GOOD   GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

"  The  lot  is  cast  into  the  lap ;  but  the  whole  <lis- 
posing  thereof  is  of  the  Lord,"  had  made  an  in- 
effaceable impression  upon  her  mind.  Thus  it  was 
with  many  other  pupils.  Nor  was  it  the  result  of 
their  teacher's  instructions  alone ;  her  example  had 
much  to  do  with  the  effect.  Example  imparted 
force  to  her  precepts.  Even  before  she  became  a 
Christian,  her  friends  were  particularly  pleased 
with  her  strict  conscientiousness.  Her  teachers 
remarked  it  when  she  was  a  pupil,  and  her  com- 
panions never  failed  to  observe  it.  She  was  not, 
like  many  girls,  conscientious  in  some  things,  and 
the  reverse  in  respect  to  others.  There  are  young 
ladies,  and  other  persons,  too,  who  would  not  tell  a 
falsehood  to  save  a  right  eye,  and  yet  they  do  a 
thousand  other  things  without  the  least  reference 
to  conscience.  The  author  of  "  Substance  and 
Shadows  "  gives  the  following  incident,  which  may 
serfp  to  illustrate  this  point : 

"  Mrs.  Green  allowed  no  cooking  on  the  Sabbath, 
and  the  children  were  allowed  no  natural  freedom ; 
their  business  was  to  keep  still,  and  sit  cross-legged, 
with  their  'primers'  or  'question-books'  before 
their  eyes.  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Green  read  their  prayer- 
book,  and  the  chapter  from  which  the  text  was 
taken. 

" '  Husband,'  said  Mrs.  Green,  '  that  was  a  splen- 
did shawl  Mrs.  Sawyer  wore  to-day. '  I  wonder  if 


CONSCIENTIOUSNESS.  121 

Sawyer  is  rich  ?  Susan  wore  an  elegant  bonnet. 
I  saw  just  such  a  one,  for  which  they  charged  me 
twelve  dollars.  And  did  you  see  Mrs.  Draper's 
scarf?  It  was  the  most  elegant  one  I  ever  saw.' 

"  Dan  here  spoke  up  :  '  Mother,  Tom  Spencer  has 
got  a  beautiful  vest;  won't  you  get  me  such  a  one  ?' 

"  '  I  want  a  new  sack,'  said  Ned.  '  All  the  boys 
dress  better  than  I  do.' 

"  '  Hush,  hush,  children ! '  said  the  mother  ;  '  do 
you  know  what  day  it  is  ?  •  Sabbath  days  were  not 
made  to  talk  about  dress.  Don't  you  know  what 
the  commandment  says,  Six  days  shalt  thou  labor, 
etc.?  What  did  grandpa  tell  you,  boys,  last  sum- 
mer, about  keeping  Sunday  ?  ' 

"  '  If  he  did  talk  so  good,'  said  Ned,  '  he  got  hia 
hay  in  Sunday,  for  fear  of  a  shower.  Plow  came 
he  to  do  that  ? ' 

"  '  Boys !  boys  !  what  are  you  talking  about  ? 
Your  grandpa  is  a  deacon,  and  a  very  pious  man. 
Never  let  me  hear  you  question  his  doings.' 

"  '  But,  mother,'  said  Ned,  '  you  talk  about  dress 
on  Sunday  with  father ;  what  is  the  harm  for  Dan 
and  me  to  do  so  ? ' 

"  That  evening  the  conversation  turned  upon  the 
subject  of  lying.  Dan  began  to  reason  : 

" '  Mother,  when  you  direct  the  girl  who  tends 
the  door  to  say  you  are  '  not  at  home,'  when  you 
are  in  the  nursery,  is  not  that  a  falsehood  ?  * 
11 


122         THE    GOOD    GIRL    AND    TUUE    WOiiAX. 

"  '  My  child,  there  are  certain  conventional  rules 
in  society,  which  are  allowable,  because  custom 
sanctions  them.  You  are  not  old  enough  to  reason 
upon  such  things  now.' 

" '  And,'  said  Ned,  '  when  you  say,  "  O,  dear ! 
I  wish  such  and  such  people  were  a  hundred  miles 
off,"  and  go  straight  into  the  parlor,  and  tell  them 
how  glad  you  are  to  see  them,  and  how  long  you 
have  been  wishing  them  to  call,  is  not  that  a  false- 
hood?"' 

This  is  what  we  mean  by  being  conscientious  in 
some  things  and  the  reverse  in  others.  Ma'ry  Lyon 
did  not  belong  to  this  class.  No  such  inconsis- 
tencies marred  the  moral  harmony  of  her  character. 
Every  question  was  settled  by  an  appeal  to  con- 
science, even  matters  of  dress,  and  the  ordinary 
customs  of  society.  She  was  just  as  conscientious 
in  selecting  a  bonnet,  and  in  accepting  or  declining 
an  invitation  to  some  entertainment,  as  she  was  in 
keeping  the  Sabbath.  No  one  ever  knew  her  to 
ask,  "  What  will  be  thought  of  this  ?  "  instead  of, 
"  Is  this  right  ?  "  If  conscience  told  her  that  a  cer- 
tain fashion  of  dress  was  injurious  to  health,  she  re- 
jected it  at  once ;  or  that  a  certain  form  of  social 
pleasure  was  of  a  suspicious  or  doubtful  character, 
she  refused  to  participate  in  it.  Her  conscien- 
tiousness sprung  from  an  unbending  regard  for 
right,  and  therefore  it  appeared  at  all  times. 


CONSCIENTIOUSNESS.  123 

How  beautiful  this  virtue  renders  the  life  of  a 
woman !  It  appears  to  the  best  advantage  associ- 
ated with  that  loveliness  and  modesty  for  which  she 
is  known.  Such  inflexible  adherence  to  right,  in 
defiance  of  popular  sentiment  and  the  appeals  of 
personal  honor,  is  truly  sublime.  In  one  of  Sir 
Walter  Scott'g  most  popular  works,  the  heroine  is 
such  a ,  character.  Her  real  name  was  Helen 
"Walker,  who,  after  her  father's  death,  "  continued, 
with  the  unassuming  piety  of  a  Scottish  peasant, 
to  support  her  mother,  and  a  sister  considerably 
younger  than  herself,  by  her  own  unremitting  labor 
and  privations."  Her  sister  was  accused  of  a  foul 
crime  in  early  womanhood,  for  which  she  was  to  be 
tried  for  her  life.  The  counsel  for  the  sister  in- 
formed Helen  that  if  she  would  testify  to  certain 
things,  she  might  save  the  life  of  the  accused.  To 
this  the  noble  girl  replied,  "  It  is  impossible  for  me 
to  swear  to  a  falsehood,  and  whatever  may  be  the 
consequence,  I  will  give  my  oath  according  to  my 
conscience."  She  would  not  violate  her  conscience 
even  to  save  the  life  of  a  sister  whom  she  tenderly 
loved.  The  sister  was  found  guilty,  and  condemned 
to  death ;  but  Helen  exerted  herself  bravely  for 
her  pardon,  and  finally  secured  it.  After  her  death, 
Sir  Walter  Scott  erected  a  monument  over  her  re- 
mains, on  which  was  inscribed :  "  THIS  STONE  WAS 

ERECTED    BY  THE    AUTHOR   OF   WAVEBLEY    TO    TUB 


124          THB    GOOD   GIRL    AND    TRUK    WOMAN. 

MEMORY  OF  HELEN   WALKER,  WHO  DIED  IN 

THE  YEAR  OP  GOD  MDCCXCI.  TlIIS  HUMBLE 
INDIVIDUAL  PRACTISED  IN  REAL  LIFE  THE  VIRTUES 
WITH  WHICH  FICTION  HAS  INVESTED  THE  IMAG- 
INARY CHARACTER  OF  JEAN  IE  DEAN&  REFU& 

ING  THE  SLIGHTEST  DEPARTURE  FROM  VERACITY, 
EVEN  TO  SAVE  THE  LIFE  OF  HER  SISTER,  SHE  NEVER- 
THELESS SHOWED  HER  KINDNESS  AND  FORTITUDE,  IN 
RESCUING  HER  FROM  THE  SEVERITY  OF  THE  LAW,  AT 
THE  EXPENSE  OF  PERSONAL  EXERTIONS  WHICH  THE 
TIME  RENDERED  AS  DIFFICULT  AS  THE  MOTIVE  WAS 
LAUDABLE.  RESPECT  THE  GRAVE  OF  POVERTY  WHEN 
COMBINED  WITH  THE  LOVE  OF  TRUTH  AND  DEAR 

AFFECTION."  Is  not  such  an  example  of  integrity 
really  sublime  ?  Who  would  not  prefer  such  a  trib- 
ute of  respect  to  moral  worth,  rather  than  those 
which  are  reared  on  gory  battle  fields  ? 

We  know  some  have  said  that  eminent  suc- 
cess cannot  be  achieved  by  such  strict  regard  to  the 
demands  of  conscience  ;  that  in  a  wicked  world  like 
ours  some  craftiness,  duplicity,  and  deception,  are 
absolutely  necessary.  It  is  said  with  particular 
reference  to  the  male  sex  ;  but  why  should  it  not  be 
said  of  females  ?  If  it  is  necessary  for  man  to  vio- 
late conscience,  why  is  it  not  necessary  for  woman 
to  do  the  same  ?  But,  no ;  such  a  sentiment  is  a 
disgrace  to  the  man  or  woman  who  utters  it.  There 
is  not  only  glory,  but  there  is  true  success  in  store 


CONSCIENTIOUSNESS.  125 

for  the  conscientious  person.  God  will  not  forsake 
the  young  woman  who  sets  her  heart  upon  the 
right,  determined  to  maintain  it.  The  day  of  her 
triumph  will  come;  and  even  now  her  cup  of  joy  is 
full.  Pope  was  right  when  he  penned  the  lines : 

"  One  self-approving  hour  whole  years  outweighs 
Of  stupid  starers,  and  of  loud  huzzas ; 
And  more  true  joy  Marcellus  exiled  feels, 
Than  Cassar  with  the  senate  at  his  heels." 

There  are  many  girls  whose  conduct  is  regulated 
by  expediency  or  policy,  in  almost  all  matters. 
They  have  no  fixed  rules  of  action,  chosen  because 
they  are  right,  but  they  leave  everything  to  be  de- 
cided by  circumstances.  They  are  influenced  by 
public  opinion,  and  regard  wh;it  fellow  mortals  will 
say  about  them  more  than  what  God  will  think. 
They  consult ,-the  customs  and  demands  of  society, 
rather  than  the  sacred  Scriptures,  for  rules  of  action. 
This  is  the  class  who  make  gay  and  useless  women ; 
who  do  not  hesitate  to  tell  the  "  white  lies  "  of  so- 
ciety. Contrast  the  evening  of  their  lives  with  that 
of  the  Mary  Lyon  school  of  integrity,  and  the  dif- 
ference will  present  an  urgent  ^plea  in  favor  of  con- 
scientiousness. 

Sometimes  timidity,  or  a   desire   not  to  make 
unnecessary  trouble,  causes  girls  to  swerve  from 
11* 


126         THE   GOOD   GIRL   AND    TRUE   WOMAN. 

the  truth.  "Is  the  room  too  cool  for  you  ?  "  said 
a  matron  to  a  young  lady  visitor.  "  No,  I  thank 
you,"  she  replied;  and  yet  she  was  almost  shiv- 
ering with  the  cold.  "  "  Why  did  you  not  reply  in 
the  affirmative  ?"  asked  the  girl's  friend,  who  was 
visiting  with  her.  iC  O,  it  is  such  a  delicate  matter 
to  find  fault,"  said  she.  Is  it  not  a  more  delicate 
matter  to  compromise  the  truth?  Which  is 
worse,  to  complain  of  the  temperature  of  the  room, 
or  to  inflict  moral  injury  upon  the  soul  ?  There  is 
much  of  this  kind  of  falsehood  among  young  and 
old,  and  it  .arises  from  want  of  courage  to  utter  the 
truth. 

We  also  find  among  women  a  disposition  to  vio- 
late conscience  in  exchanging  the  civilities  and 
courtesies  of  social  life.  Many  a  woman  has  told 
another  that  she  was  happy  to  see  her  when  she  was 
not.  Some  have  invented  apologies  for  the  appear- 
ance of  their  dwellings  when  visitors  called,  without 
so  much  as  .hinting  at  the  true  reason.  In  many 
kindred  ways,  women  in  social  life  fail  to  lift  up 
the  standard  of  right.  Their  lips  say.  "  yes,"  when 
their  hearts  say,  "no."  Alas!  that  the  grace  and 
beauty  of  feminine  character  should  be  marred  by 
such  disregard  of  conscience  ! 

We  close  this  chapter  by  relating  an  incident, 
which  illustrates  the  value  and  charm  of  firm  adhe- 
rence to  conscience.  It  is  one  of  many  that  might 


CONSCIENTIOUSNESS.  127 

be  selected,  and  we  choose  it  for  its  connection 
with  a  common  sphere  of  effort. 

A  laborer,  whose  business  it  was  to  go  with  the 
cars  on  week  days,  was  told  that  his  services  would 
be  required  on  the  Sabbath.  He  made  no  reply, 
but  went  home  and  told  his  wife  what  the  request 
was.  She  replied,  "  I  take  it  for  granted  that  you 
do  not  intend  to  go."  He  said,  in  answer  to  her, 
"  that  he  should  lose  his  place  if  he  did  not  go,  and 
this  was  a'matter  to  be  considered,  since  the  times 
were  hard,  and  he  had  a  family  to  support."  "  I 
know  that,"  she  answered ;  "  but  I  hope,  you  will 
remember  that  if  a  man  cannot  support  his  family 
by  keeping  the  Sabbath,  he  certainly  cannot  sup- 
port them  by  breaking  it."  Her  husband  added, 
"  I  am  very  glad  that  you  think  so ;  I  think  so  my- 
self. That  is  what  I  wanted,  to  see  whether  we 
think  alike."  He  subsequently  informed  the  Super- 
intendent that  he  should  regret  very  much  to  lose 
his  place,  as  he  depended  upon  it  for  a  livelihood; 
but  that  he  could  not  think  of  going  with  the  mail 
9n  the  Sabbath,  as  it  would  violate  .his  conscience. 
It  was  a  noble  stand  to  take  for  the  truth,  and  his 
wife  appears  first  and  foremost  in  it  by  her  attempt 
to  nerve  her  husband  for  the  right.  He  did  not 
lose  his  place,  but  rather  profited,  even  in  a  temporal 
way,  for  his  integrity  ;  and  his  wife  always  blest  the 
hour  that  she  counselled  him  to  act  for  God  rather 
than  man.  • 


CHAPTER    XI. 


MEKTAL     CULTTJBE, 


REMARK  OF  FENELON. —  DR.  SPRING  AND  DE.  O8GOOD  SHOWING 
DEFECTS  IN  EDUCATION  OF  GIRLS  —  ACCOMPLISHMENTS  THB 
RAGE  —  "SHOWING  OFF"  —  MIND  CLAIMS  RESPECT  —  DAUGHTER 
OF  MITCHELL  THE  ASTRONOMER,  AND  THE  GOLD  MEDAL  — 
SCHOOLS  WHERE  THEY  ONLY  STUDY  AND  RECITE—  ERRONEOUS 
VIEWS  OF  GIRLS  ON  THE  SUBJECT  —  A  MERCHANT'S  WIFE,  AND 
A  POOR  SPELLER — DAUGHTERS  OF  THE  RICH  AND  POOR  — 
POLISHED  CORNER-STONES,  OR  BEAUTY  AND  STRENGTH — MISS 
EDGEWORTH  AND  HANNAH  ADAMS — LATTER  PREPARED  YOUNG 
MEN  FOR  COLLEGE  —  MISS  HERSCHEL,  MARY  DWIGHT,  AND  OTH- 
ERS—  SELF-CULTURE — GIRLS  MUST  DEPEND  MORE  ON  IT  THAN 
BOYS  —  ABIGAIL  ADAMS  AN  ILLUSTRATION  —  SOME  GIRLS  WITH 
POOR  ADVANTAGES  EXCEL  GRADUATES  OF  OUR  SEMINARIES  — 
THE  CULTURE  OF  THINKING  —  FEW  INVENTIONS  BY  WOMEN  — 
SELF-CULTURE  DID  MOST  FOR  MARY  LYON  —  READING  —  DID 
MUCH  FOR  TWO  LITERARY  WOMEN  —  GIRLS  READ  NOVELS  AND 
LOVE-STORIES  —  MARIA  ANTOINETTE  —  BAD  INFLUENCE  OF  NOV- 
ELS —  POLLOK  —  HOW  GIRLS  SHOULD  READ  —  COLERIDGE'S  FOUR 
CLASSES  OF  READERS  —  "  FINISHING  "  EDUCATION  —  DR.  RUSH 
AND  THE  TWO  PHYSICIANS —  MENTAL  CULTURE  AN  ORNAMENT. 


FENELON  remarked  in  his  day,  "  Notliing  is 
more  neglected  than  the  education  of  daughters." 
Such  a  remark  could  not  be  made  in  justice  at  the 
present  day,  for  much  attention  is  given  to  the  sub- 
ject. Still,  we  can  unite  with  Dr.  Spring  in  the 
opinion  that,  "in  a  solid  and  well-measured  edu- 


MENTAL     CULTURE.  129 

cation,  the  women  of  the  present  age  are  not  so  far 
in  advance  of  their  predecessors  as  their  oppor- 
tunities of  advancement.  They  are  disposed  to 
magnify  the  mere  elegancies  of  education  above  its 
more  useful  and  practical  tendencies ;  they  live  in 
the  song  and  the  dance  ;  or  they  revel  in  romance, 
and  melt  away  in  dreamy  sentimentalism,  when  they 
ought  to  be  more  intent  on  storing  their  minds 
with  facts  and  principles ;  in  becoming  acquainted 
with  standard  authors,  and  in  learning  how  to  turn 
their  attainments  to  good  account."  Or  we  can 
say  with  Dr.  Osgood,  "  Accomplishments  are  poor 
tricks,  unless  their  polish  is  but  the  smoothness  of 
substantial  knowledge  and  judgment.  A  showy 
girl,  who  can  dance,  sing,  and  prattle  two  or  three 
foreign  languages,  without  being  able  to  speak  and 
write  sensibly  in  her  own  tongue,  is  one  of  the  most 
lamentable  of  counterfeits,  and  may  chance  to  blight 
the  peace  and  dignity  of  more  hearts  than  one  by 
her  shams.  She  is  the  product  of  that  flashy  sys- 
tem of  training,  which  is  doing  more  mischief  in 
America  than  any  where  else,  and  making  society  a 
tawdry  Vanity  Fair  instead  of  a  companionship  of 
hearts  and  homes." 

These  writers  have  not  expressed  the  existing 
evil,  in  the  education  of  girls,  in  to'o ,  strong  lan- 
guage. No  one  can  fail  to  see  that  the  prevailing 
idea  of  female  education  makes  accomplishments 


130     THE  GOOD  GIRL  AND  TRUE  WOMAN. 

everything.  The  ornamental  part  is  made  more 
prominent  than  the  substantial  and  useful.  The 
girl  must  be  a  good  pianist,  and  a  linguist,  too ;  and 
she  must  at  least  have  a  smattering  of  certain 
studies  of  the  higher  order,  although  she  may  not 
be  able  to  speak  and  write  grammatically.  This 
has  been  too  much  the  aim  of  our  schools  for  girls 
during  the  last  quarter  of  a  century.  There  are 
some  seminaries,  where  the  attention  of  this  class  is 
directed  with  far  more  thoroughness  and  ability  to 
the  manner  of  standing,  walking,  eating,  and  to  in- 
strumental and  vocal  music,  than  to  mathematics, 
astronomy,  or  philosophy.  At  the  same  time, 
teachers  and  parents  know  that  this  ornamental 
training  does  not  qualify  girls  for  future  duties  in  the 
least,  unless  the  solid  branches  of  knowledge  are 
pursued  as  the  more  important  of  the  two.  These 
light  accomplishments  have  their  place,  but  it  is  by 
no  means  the  first  place,  in  mental  culture.  If  only 
one  of  the  two  kinds  of  training,  the  solid  and  the 
ornamental,  can  be  had,  it  is  far-better  for  girls,  and 
the  society  in  which  they  will  hereafter  move,  to 
secure  the  former.  A  girl  who  is  well  versed  in 
mathematics  and  English  grammar,  who  has  a  good 
practical  knowledge  of  astronomy  and  chemistry,  a 
taste  for  historical,  biographical,  and  instructive 
miscellaneous  reading,  with  a  good  degree  of  facility 
at  composition  and  penmanship,  without  a  single  one 


MENTAL     CULTURE.  131 

of  the  modern  "accomplishments"  (so  called,  though 
the  word  is  abused),  is  far  better  prepared  to  enter 
any  circle,  learned  or  unlearned,  than  a  graduate  of 
one  of  our  fashionable  boarding-schools.  The  latter 
has  not  -disciplined  her  mind  for  duties,  and  there- 
fore she  can  only  "  show  off,"  as  the  phrase  is,  —  an 
exhibition  of  which  sensible  people  soon  become 
weary.  The  former  has  stored  her  mind  with  use- 
ful knowledge;  which  never  comes  amiss,  and  never 
fails  to  gain  respect.  "  Mind,  wherever  it  is  found," 
said  Mary  Lyon,  "  will  secure  respect."  We  have 
a  very  pleasing  illustration  of  the  honor  which  a 
well  cultivated  mind  wins,  near  "at  hand.  The 
daughter  of  Mitchell,  the  Nautucket  astronomer, 
was  a  girl  of  excellent  mental  power.  She  very 
naturally  formed  a  taste  for  the  studies  pursued  by 
her  father,  and  early  distinguished  herself  therein. 
She  had  a  set  of  instruments  for  taking  observations 
of  the  heavens  simultaneously  with  her  father.  A 
few  years  since,  the  king  of  Denmark  sent  her  a  gold 
medal,  as  a  mark  of  respect  for  her  as  the  discoverer 
of  a  new  comet.  Thousands  who  have  not  sent 
her  a  gold  medal  still  regard  her  attainments  with 
more  profound  esteem  than  they  do  all  the  display 
and  embellishments  that  ever  emanated  from  fash- 
ionable seminaries. 

When  Mary  Lyon  began  the  study  of  Latin,  she 
committed    the    entire    grammar  in  three    days. 


132    THE  GOOD  GIRL  AND  TRUE  WOMAN. 

When  a  friend,  asked  her  about  it,  twenty  years 
thereafter,  she  replied,  "  O,  it  was  at  one  of  those 
schools  where  they  do  nothing  but  study  and 
recite."  Here  is  another  evil  referred  to  in  our 
modes  of  education.  Some  parents  imagine  that 
if  they  send  their  daughters  to  school  where  they 
will  study  the  various  branches  of  knowledge  a 
given  time,  they  are  educated.  And  yet  they 
may  have  only  studied  and  recited.  Their  minds 
may  not  have  been  disciplined  to  think;  and 
they  may  return  to  their  homes  almost  as  unpre- 
pared for  the  duties  of  womanhood  as  they  were 
when  they  left  them.  Simply  going  to  school  is 
not  mental  culture.  That  a  young  lady  has  at- 
tended certain  schools,  and  pursued  certain  branches 
of  study,  does  not  prove  that  she  is  educated.  She 
may  still  be  devoid  of  that  education  which  is 
necessary  to  success  in  her  liferwork.  For  the  want 
of  thoroughness  in  her  intellectual  training,  she  may 
be  as  inefficient  as  the  girl  of  mere  tinsel  accom- 
plishments. 

Our  schools  should  not  bear  all  the  blame.  Girls 
themselves  often  entertain  very  incorrect  ideas  of 
the  mental  culture  they  ought  to  receive.  We 
knew  one  who  neglected  the  study  of  arithmetic 
because  "women  do  not  need  it."  Some  years 
since,  she  married  a  merchant.  He  is  frequently 
absent  from  home ;  and,  when  persons  call  on  busi- 


MENTAL     CULTURE.  133 

ness  with  her  husband  that  requires  some  knowl- 
edge of  numbers,  she  is  obliged  to  decline  doing 
the  business,  or  else  leave  all  the  figures  to  be  cast 
by  the  callers  themselves.  We  have  read  of  another 
who  neglected  the  fundamental  branches  generally, 
believing  that  certain  "  accomplishments "  only 
were  necessary  for  woman  in  her  sphere.  In  writ- 
ing her  letters  she  formed  the  habit  of  underscoring 
words  that  she  did  not  certainly  know  how  to  spell, 
that,  in  case  her  spelling  was  wron;r,  it  might  ap- 
pear to  the  reader  as  a  jest.  Such  young  women 
are  really  to  be  pitied.  It  is  not  strange  that  their 
minds  are  never  educated. 

There  are  two  extremes  in  the  education  of  girls, 
'  worthy  to  be  considered  together.  One  is,  that 
many  daughters  of  the  rich,  as  we  have  seen,  are 
instructed  for  "  display,"  and  for  little  or  nothing 
else.  The  other,  that  many  daughters  of  the  poor 
are  taught  the  art  of  keeping  house  well,  and  little 
more,  as  if  this  were  all  that  would  be  needed. 
Both  extremes  should  be  avoided.  The  rich 
daughter  should  -possess  some  of  the  poor  girl's 
knowledge  of  house-work,  and  other  common" 
things,  while  the  latter  should  seek  after  some 
of  the  literary  and  ornamental  attainments  of  the 
former. 

The  Scriptures  present  this  whole  matter  of  fe- 
male education  in  its  true  light,  by  the  use  of  a 
.  12 


134          THE    GOOD   GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

single  beautiful  figure,  viz :  "  THAT  OUR  DAUGHTERS 

MAY    BE    AS    CORNER    STONES,  POLISHED    AFTER  THE 

SIMILITUDE  OF  A  PALACE."  Corner  stones  are  solid 
and  enduring.  So  should  it  be  with  the  character 
of  women.  They  should  be  substantial  members 
of  society.  At  the  same  time,  they  should  be 
"  polished."  The  foundation  should  be  "  stone,"  — 
material  that  will  last.  Indeed,  the  material  of  the 
whole  structure  should  be  of-  this  sort.  For  the 
"  polish  "  is  on  the  durable  material ;  it  is  not  the 
material  itself.  A  mind  thoroughly  disciplined  in 
the  fundamental  branches  of  education  is  prepared 
to  receive  the  "  polish"  of  ornamental  studies.  On 
the  other  hand,  a  mind  that  is  cultured  only  in  a 
fashionable  boarding  school  presents  little  to  be 
polished,  except  an  image  of  vanity.  It  is  not  the 
style  of  culture  denoted  in  the  above  Scripture 
text.  The  education  which  drills  the  mind  only  in 
the  substantial  elements  of  knowledge  fails  to  meet 
the  foregoing  pattern  as  really  as  that  which  deals 
only  in  "vain  show."  The  two  must  be  combined. 
Utility  and  ornament  —  strength  and  polish — 
beauty  and  stability,  —  should  be  sought  in  the 
mental  culture  of  girls.  Then  datighters  become 
as  "  corner  stones,  polished  after  the  similitude  of 
a  palace.'1''  They  are  not  only  important  to  look 
at,  but  important  on  account  of  the  place  they 
occupy.  They  are  comer  stones.  They  have  .their 


MENTAL     CULTURE.  135 

place  in  supporting  the  social  edifice.  Like  a  pillar 
of  Parian  marble  in  a  royal  palace,  they  both  support 
and  adorn.  Is  it  possible  to  conceive  of  the  charm 
that  would  invest  society  if  this  picture  were  fully 
realized  ?  This  would  be  quite  another  world ;  for 
such  a  change  in  females  would  change  everything 
else. 

Those  women  only  who  have  made  the  useful  in 
education  more  prominent  than  the  ornamental, 
are  known  to  fame.  Not  one,  who  was  educated 
in  a  mere  fashionable  way,  is  held  up  to  view,  ex- 
cept as  an  example  of  folly.  There  was  Hannah 
More,  of  whom  a  writer  says,  "  She  has  been  known 
on  this  side  of  the  water,  as  well  as  on  the  other ; 
and  our  mothers  were  aided  by  her  in  teaching  us 
in  our  infancy.  We  have  felt  the  effect  of  her 
writings  ever  since  we  began  to  reason,  in  the  nurs- 
ery, in  the  school-room,  and  even  in  college  halls." 
Miss  Edgeworth  is  another  example,  and  Mrs.  Bar- 
bauld  still  another.  Both  of  them  disciplined  their 
own  mental  faculties  by  the  rule,  —  strength^  then 
beauty.  Hannah  Adams,  wTho  was  born  in  the 
town  of  Medfield,  Mass.,  in  the  year  1Y55,  belonged 
to  this  class.  She  became  so  thoroughly  acquainted 
with  the  substantial  branches  of  knowledge,  includ- 
ing the  ancient  languages,  that  she  fitted  many 
young  men  for  Cambridge  University.  At  the 
same  time,  she  possessed  the  "accomplishments" 


136          THE    GOOD   GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

of  the  age  in  which  she  lived.  When  she  died, 
Mount  Auburn  Cemetery  was  not  quite  ready  to 
receive  its  lifeless  tenants ;  but  public  respect  and 
admiration  for  her  was  so  high,  that  it  was  deter- 
mined her  body  should  be  the  first  to  be  laid  in 
that  silent  "  city  of  the  dead."  We  might  name 
many  others,  as  Miss  Herschel,  the  sister  of  Sir 
William  Herschel,  Madam  De  Stael,  Mary  Dwight, 
Margaret  Fuller,  and  Mrs.  Gove  Nichols ;  but  our 
limited  space  forbids,  and,  furthermore,  it  is  unnec- 
essary. 

It  may  be  said  that  a  multitude  of  girls  cannot 
enjoy  the  advantages  of  education  beyond  the 
district  or  common  school.  True.  But  this  is  no 
reason  why  they  may  not  possess  a  good  degree  of 
useful  knowledge ;  for  nearly  all  the  learned  wo- 
men enumerated  owed  their  eminence  to  sdf- 
culture^  and  not  to  the  school.  The  daughters  of 
the  richest  men,  having  access  to  the  best  of  semi- 
naries, must  still  depend  more  upon  self-culture. 
This  is  more  emphatically  the  case  with  girls  than 
with  boys,  because  the  provisions  for  the  education 
of  the  former  are  not  so  thorough.  In  one  respect, 
this  is  well,  perhaps,  when  we  consider  that  girls 
have  much  more  leisure  than  boys,  —  a  subject  to 
which  the  reader's  attention  will  be  called  in 
another  place.  Mrs.  Abigail  Adams,  the  wife  of 
John  Adams,  former  President  of  the  United 


MENTAL     CULTURE.  137 

States,  never  enjoyed  the  advantages  of  school  at 
all.  In  one  of  her  letters  she  says  that,  "  it  was 
fashionable  to  ridicule  female  learning  "  in  her  day, 
and  adds,  "  I  was  never  sent  to  any  school.  I  was 
always  sick.  Female  education,  in  the  best  families, 
went  no  farther  than  writing  and  arithmetic."  Yet 
she  improved  her  time  at  home,  so  that  she  pos- 
sessed more  intelligence  and  wisdom,  at  the  time 
of  her  marriage,  than  many  young  ladies  who  are 
graduates  of  our  seminaries  now  carry  with  them  to 
the  bridal  altar.  A  writer  says  of  her,  "  While  Mr. 
Adams  was  wishing  that  some  of  our  great  men 
had  such  wives  as  Aspasia,  he  had  such  a  wife,  was 
himself  such  a  man,  and  owed  half  his  greatness  to 
his  Aspasia."  v 

We  often  see  two  young  ladies  who  have  been 
equally  well  instructed,'  perhaps  been  at  the  same 
school  together,  pursued  the  same  studies,  and  that, 
too,  for  the  same  length  of  time,  yet  one  is  far  more 
intelligent  than  the  other.  Indeed,  the  case  is 
ofter  more  marked  than  this.  Sometimes  we  meet 
with  a  girl  who  has  scarcely  enjoyed  the  advan- 
tages of  school  at  all,  and  yet  she  appears  more  in- 
tellectual than  another  who  has  been  under  the 
most  popular  instructors.  Why  is  this?  Simply 
ecause  the  one  with  the  fewest  opportunities  makes 
the  most  of  them.  She  may  not  have  abilities  su- 
perior to  the  other,  but  she  reads,  observes,  and 
12* 


138          THE   GOOD   GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

reflects  more ;  in  other  words,  she  educates  her- 
self more  than  the  girls  around  her.  The  discipline 
of  seminaries  only  prepares  the  mind  to  think.  Girls 
overlook  this  fact,  and  consider  their  education 
"  finished  "  when  their  school  days  are  over.  The 
truth  is,  their  education  has  just  commenced  when 
they  leave  the  school-room.  Their  minds  ought  to 
continue  to  improve  daily  thereafter.  A  little  close 
thinking  every  day,  about  subjects  read  or  studied 
long  ago  in  the  schools,  will  secure  this  result.  This 
is  what  we  mean  by  self-culture. 

We  hear  much  said  about  self-educated  men. 
They  are  thinking  men.  Their  self-education  con- 
sists mainly  in  that.  They  constitute  a  large  part 
of  discoverers  and  inventors.  Inventions  are  very 
generally  the  work  of  this  class.  And  here  we  have 
a  fact  that  seems  to  militate  against  the  female  sex. 
For  scarcely  one  of  them  has  invented  anything 
of  much  importance.  Even  the  implements  of  toil 
used  in  their  own  labors  were  invented  by  males. 
Improvements  in  tools  and  machines  for  sewing 
were  made  by  the  sterner  sex.  Why  is  this  ?  Be- 
cause they  think  more.  It  is  scarcely  thought  to 
be  within  the  scope  of  woman's  sphere  to  invent. 
Can  the  reader  offer  a  reasonable  plea  for  such  an 
opinion  ? 

Although  Mary  Lyon  enjoyed  the  advantages  of 
school  to  some  extent,  yet  self-culture  did  more  for 


MENTAL     CULTURE.  139 

her  than  teachers.  Her  progress  in  science  and 
literature  was  equally  marked  after  she  left  the 
school-room.  For  some  years  before  she  under- 
took the  Mount  Holyoke  enterprise,  she  had  such 
a  project  in  view,  and  was  constantly  improving 
her  leisure  moments  with  reference  to  that  field  of 
labor.  Without  this  manner  of  qualifying  herself 
for  usefulness,  she  would  not  have  become  the  Mary 
Lyon  that  she  was. 

Reading  is  an  important  means  of  self-culture, 
within  the  reach  of  almost  every  girl.  It  is  said 
that  Hannah  More  formed  her  taste  for  literature 
by  reading  the  volumes  contained  in  her  father's 
library.  Having  read  and  digested  these,  she  boi'- 
rowed  of  the  neighbors,  until  she  had  actually  read 
all  the  volumes  in  the  neighborhood.  The  same 
was  true  of  Hannah  Adams,  of  whom  we  have 
spoken.  Her  father  was  a  country  merchant,  and, 
among  other  articles,  he  kept  books  for  sale.  His 
daughter  assisted  him  in  the  store,  where  she  grat- 
ified her  taste  for  reading.  Reading  set  her  to 
thinking ;  and  the  more  she  thought,  the  more  she 
wanted  to  know.  This  is  always  the  result  of 
reading,  "with  proper  reflection. 

Reading  is  too  often  pursued  simply  for  pleasure, 
which  is  just  the  way  to  make  it  unprofitable. 
When  this  is  the  chief  object,  history,  biography, 
and  religious  topics,  are  considered  dry ;  and  light, 


140  THE    GOOD   GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

flashy  works  are  sought  after.  Too  many  girls 
read  without  any  system,  and  even  without  any  de- 
sign of  improving  their  minds  thereby.  They  read 
newspapers,  love-stories,  novels,  anything  that  will 
gratify  them  for  the  time;  and  the  consequence 
is,  that  their  minds  derive  no  benefit  therefrom, 
although  they  may  read  many  pages  and  volumes 
in  a  year.  Alison  says  of  Maria  Antoinette,  whose 
career  proved  fatal  to  Louis  and  the  French  mon- 
archy, "  She  had  little  education ;  read  hardly  any- 
thing but  novels  and  romances ;  and  had  a  fixed 
aversion,  during  her  prosperous  days,  to  every 
species  of  business,  or  serious  employment."  Any 
other  female  may  spend  her  time  in  reading  novels, 
and  works  of  similar  character,  and  they  will  still 
possess  but  "little  education."  For  this  reason, 
and  far  more  serious  ones,  novels  should  never 
be  read.  They  not  only  preclude  the  habit  of  think- 
ing, but  they  corrupt  the  soul,  give  false  views  of 
life,  and  unfit  the  reader  for  serious  duties.  This 
is  the  testimony  of  thousands  who  have  made  the 
dangerous  experiment.  "  Novel  reading  has  been 
my  ruin  !  "  exclaimed  a  young  woman  in  the  ago- 
nies of  death.  She  is  only  one  of  a  multitude  whose 
minds  have  been  dwarfed,  hearts  corrupted,  and 
souls  lost,  by  this  kind  of  pastime.  Pollok  has 
given  a  correct  description  of  novels  in  the  fol- 
lowing lines : 


MENTAL     CULTURE.  141 

"  A  novel  was  a  book 

Three  volumed,  and  once  read,  and  oft  crammed  full 
Of  poisonous  error,  blackening  every  page; 
And  oftener  still  of  trifling,  second-hand 
Remark,  and  old,  diseased,  and  putrid  thought, 
.       And  miserable  incident,  at  war 

With  Nature;  with  itself  arid  truth  at  war; 
Yet  charmilfg  still  the  greedy  reader  on, 
Till  done.    He  tried  to  recollect  his  thoughts, 
And  nothing  found  but  dreary  emptiness; 
These,  like  ephemera,  spring  in  a  day 
From  lean  and  shallow  soiled  brains  of  sand, 
And  in  a  day  expire." 

There  is  no  excuse  for  reading  bad  books  when 
good  ones  are  so  abundant.  Wisdom  and  con- 
science should  be  employed  in  their  selection  ;  and 
they  should  be  read  for  mental  and  moral  profit, 
and  not  for  mere  pleasure.  With  this  high  pur- 
pose, reading  will  contribute  largely  to  intellectual 
improvement.  Girls  should  resolve  to  belong  to 
the  fourth  class  of  readers  described  by  Coleridge. 
He  says,  "  The  first  may  be  compared  to  an  hour- 
glass, their  reading  being  as  the  sand ;  it  runs  in, 
and  it  runs  out,  and  leaves  not  a  vestige  behind.  A 
second  class  resembles  a  sponge,  which  imbibes 
everything,  and  returns  it  nearly  in  the  same  state, 
only  a  little  dirtier.  A  third  class  is  like  a  jelly-bag, 
which  allows  all  that  is  pure  to  pass  away,  and  re- 
tains only  the  refuse  and  the  dregs.  The  fourth 


142  THE    GOOD   GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

class  may  be  compared  to  the  slave  in  the  diamond 
mines  of  Golconda,  who,  casting  aside  all  that  is 
worthless,  preserves  only  the  pure  gem."  Girls 
who  would  reap  the  benefits  of  consistent  self- 
culture  must  belong  to  the  fourth  and  last  class  of 
readers. 

Avoid,  also,  the  idea  of  "  finishing "  your  edu- 
cation when  you  leave  school,  or  become  a  married 
woman.  We  hear«girls  announcing  that  at  such  a 
time  their  education  will  be  finished,  —  as  if  they 
would  have  nothing  more  to  learn  after  one,  two, 
or  three  years  of  study  at  a  seminary.  Even  pa- 
rents are  apt  to  think  that  a  few  months  or  years 
of  culture  in  a  good  school  will  "nnish"  their 
daughters'  education ;  arid  they  talk  in  this  way  to 
their  children  and  others.  The  result  is  that 
daughters,  often  act  as  if  their  education  was 
"  finished  "  when  they  leave  school,  and  cast  aside 
their  books,  without  scarcely  referring  to  them  for 
months  and  years  after.  Two  young  physicians 
were  once  conversing  in  the  presence  of  Dr.  Rush, 
when  one  of  them  said,  "When  I  finished  my 

studies "     "  When  you  finished  your  studies ! " 

exclaimed  the  Doctor.  "  Why,  you  must  be  a 
happy  man  to  have  finished  so  young.  I  do  not 
expect  to  finish  mine  while  I  live."  So  has  it  been 
with  eminent  women.  Those  of  the  number  whom 
we  have  named  in  this  and  preceding  chapters  con- 


* 
MENTAL     CULTURE.  143 


tinned  tbeir  mental  culture  until  death.  Girls  of 
the  present  day  must  do  likewise,  if  they  would 
fulfil  the  mission  of  life  with  success. 

A  young  woman  of  cultivated  mind  always  finds 
the  way  to  honor  open  before,  her,  provided  her 
heart  is  educated  in  the  same  proportion.  Intel- 
ligence is  a  bright  though  modest  ornament,  ad- 
mired by  all  classes,  and  disparaged  by  none  ;  next 
to  the  pearl  of  piety,  it  is  the  fairest  jewel  that 
adorns  the  female  character.  It  shines  with  no  bor- 
rowed or  artificial  lustre,  but  with  a  brightness  that 
is  emphatically  its  own.  The  young  woman  who  is 
so  fortunate  as  to  possess  this  priceless  gem,  carries 
with  her  a  grace  and  witchery  into  every  sphere. 
A  healthful  influence  emanates  from  her  welcome 
presence,  while  a  beautiful  harmony  of  character, 
as  the  power  of  magic,  catches  the  eyes  of  gratified 
beholders.  She  is  a  flower  of  loveliness  in  the  social 
circle  where  she  lives,  and  when  she  dies,  the  fra- 
grance of  her  beloved  and  honored  name  is  grateful 
to  crowds  of  unfeigned  weepers. 


CHAPTER    XII. 

POLITENESS. 


REMARKS  OF  A  WRITER  —  FALSE  VIKWS  OP  IT  —  MABY  LTON  PO- 
LITE —  HER  POLITENESS  AN  INCIDENTAL  QUALITY  —  NEVER 
MAKE  IT  A  DISTINCT  ARJ  —  IMPBOVEMEN^T  OF  MIND  AND 
HEART  —  OIRL8  TOO  OFTEN  AFFECTED  AND  NOT  POLITE  —  AN 
EXAMPLE  —  IMPOLITENESS  OF  "  POLITE  LADIES  " — A  LADY  IN 
THE  CONGREGATION — A  CASE  IN  PHILADELPHIA  —  A  FEMALE 
IN  THE  OMNIBUS  —  WHAT  IS  TRUE  POLITENESS  HEBE— WORDS 
OF  ANOTHER 


A  WRITER  says,  "  True  politeness  has  been  de- 
fined to  consist  in  *  benevolence  in  trifles.'  It  is 
a  beautiful  definition,  and  is  worthy  of  being  re- 
membered by  all  who  would  fill  the  family  circle 
with  bliss.  By  politeness  here  I  do  not  mean  the 
heartless  and  unmeaning  ceremony  of  the  world, 
such  as  is  taught  in  Lord  Chesterfield's  pages,  nor 
even  the  graceful  polish  of  manners  which  char- 
acterizes the  intercourse  of  well-bred  people ;  but  a 
gentle,  obliging  demeanor,  and  delicacy  of  behavior 
toward  all  around ;  that  mode  of  conducting  our- 
selves toward  others  which  is  opposed  to  all  -that 
is  coarse,  vulgar,  rude,  and  offensively  familiar. 
The  politeness  that  I  mean  is  not  affection's  root, 


POLITENESS.  145 

but  it  is  the  flower,  beauty  and  fragrance ;  or  if 
not  the  plant  itself,  it  is  like  the  hedge  round  it, 
which  preserves  it  from  being  trampled  under 
foot."  Such  politeness  as  this  has  its  basis  in  the 
law  of  Christian  charity,  in  which  Mary  Lyon  was 
instructed  from  childhood.  For  this  reason  her 
politeness  was  a  part  of  her  character,  and  not 
something  that  she  cultivated  independent  of  men- 
tal and  moral  acquisitions.  Many  believe  that  this 
quality  is  an  independent  attainment,  which  consists 
mainly  in  certain  movements  of  the  body,  and 
certain  studied  forms  of  speech,  together  with  a 
general  "  nice  "  way  of  doing  things,  which  others 
regard  as  affectation.  But  this  is  an  erroneous 
view.  The  truest  politeness  is  that  which  is  rather 
incidental  to  other  higher  mental  and  moral  attain- 
ments. Not  that  minor  matters,  pertaining  to 
grace  of  speech  and  movement,  should  receive  no 
attention  whatever  ;  for  some  regard  to  these  is  nec- 
essary,— though  perhaps  th,e  more  favorable  time 
to  attend  to  them  is  in  childhood,  under  the  tuition 
of  faithful  parents.  But  certainly  girls  of  the  age 
of  those  for  whom  we  write  should  seek  first  the 
higher  acquisitions  named,  if  they  would  be  truly 
polite.  This  is  the  style  of  manners  we  would  urge 
upon  their  attention.  Let  them  cultivate  those 
intellectual  and  moral  qualities  hitherto  discussed, 
and  good  manners  will  generally  flow  therefrom. 


146  THE   GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

In  the  four  chapters  immediately  preceding  this, 
we  have  discussed  four  elements  of  character,  which 
will  ensure  more  real  grace  and  elegance,  than  was 
ever  possessed  by  the  polished  votaries  of  fashion. 
The  latter  may  better  understand  the  most  ap- 
proved rules  of  walking,  speaking,  and  sitting, 
among  worldly  people ;  but  the  former  possess  that 
solid  worth,  together  with  the  spirit  of  true  benev- 
olence, which  beget  attention  to  the  necessary 
amenities  of  life. 

Discard,  then,  the  idea  that  politeness  is  an  art 
by  itself.  Let  others  go  to  the  dancing-school,  if 
they  will,  to  learn  gracefulness  and  ease  ;  be  it  your 
ambition  to  acquire  the  same  by  attending  to  the 
courtesies  of  life  at  home,  and  by  improving  the 
mind  and  heart.  It  is  within  your  power  to  make 
such  acquisitions  as  to  render  true  politeness  inci- 
dental to  oth«r  accomplishments.  This  was  true 
of  Josephine,  Lady  Jane  Grey,  and  Mrs.  Wash- 
ington, as  well  as  many  who  have  lived  in  the 
humbler  walks  of  life.  Their  politeness  was  not 
learned  of  dancing-masters,  or  at  fashionable  board- 
ing-schools. It  was  to  their  substantial  characters 
what  beauty  is  to  the  rose,  or  form  to  the  lily,  or 
odor  to  any  blossom.  Such  is  the  relation  it  should 
sustain  to  the  character  of  every  woman. 

Our  mind's  eye  now  rests  upon  a  young  woman 
who  has  made  politeness  a  separate  branch  of  study. 


POLITENESS.  147 

She  has  a  brilliant  eye,  a  rosy  cheek,  a  symmetrical 
figure,  a  noble  brow,  and  natural  dignity.  But  she 
has  been  at  the  school  of  fashion  to  learn  good 
manners.  Her  politeness  sustains  the  same  relation 
to  her  character  that  her  wardrobe  does.  Her 
garments  are  put  on  and  off  to  suit  occasions,  and 
so  are  her  manners.  She  is  known  to  have  common 
manners  for  home,  second-best  ^for  sewing  circles 
and  certain  other  places,  and  best  manners  for  the 
ton.  She  has  a  peculiar  way  of  carrying  her 
wrought  handkerchief  so  as  to  expose  the  edging, 
while  her  card-case  is  compelled  to  act  a  conspic- 
uous part  in  the  "  modus  operandi  "  of  being  polite. 
She  does  not  live  far  from  the  house  of  worship, 
yet  she  seldom  enters  until  the  worshippers  gen- 
erally have  taken  their  seats,  and  then'  with  a 
flourish  of  silks  and  finery  that  cannot  fail  to  attract 
attention.  But  it  would  occupy  too  much  of  our 
space  to  give  a  complete  description  of  this  polite 
lady.  It  is  sufficient  to  say  that  her  manners  consist 
of  certain'  decorations  to  set  off  affectation  of 
movements  and  speech,  which  spoil  her  in  the  esti- 
mation of  the  wise  and  good.  This  is  an  extreme 
case,  we  grant ;  but  it  is  a  fair  example  of  a  class 
of  females  who  mistake  affectation  for  politeness. 

Having  noticed  the  exceptionable  conduct  of 
some  of  this  class,  on  certain  occasions,  we  propose 
to  enumerate  some  acts,  that  our  young  readers 


148  THE    GOOD    GIRL    AND    TBUE    WOMAN. 

may  not  fall  into  the  same  error  of  excessive  devo- 
tion to  the  so-called  "  proprieties "  of  life.  We 
have  seen  a  fashionable  woman  enter  a  public 
assembly,  after  a  crowded  audience  were  seated, 
and  walk  the  whole  length  of  the  church,  when  she 
coald  see  clearly  that  there  was  not  a  spare  seat, 
evidently  expecting  that  some  gentleman  would 
rise  and  offer  her  his  own.  Not  a  few  gentlemen 
can  testify  that  they  have  had  more  than  one  wo- 
man stop  short  against  them  in  hall  or  church,  and 
turn  round  with  expectant  gaze,  as  much  as  to  say, 
"  Get  up,  sir,  and  give  a  lady  your  seat."  And,  of 
course,  they  obeyed,  if  they  had  a  particle  of  gal- 
lantry about  them;  for  what  noble-hearted  man 
could  hold  out  against  the  speechless  assault  of  two 
keen  eye's,  and  a  thousand  dollars'  worth  of  silks 
ami  jewelry? 

'  One  Sabbath  we  attended  church,  with  a  friend, 
in  Philadelphia.  The  sexton  gave  the  writer  a  seat 
on  one  side  of  the  centre  aisle,  and  his  friend  one  on 
the  other.  The  latter  had  not  been  seated  long 
before  a  richly  attired  female  approached  the  pew, 
and,  beholding  the  stranger,  stepped  back  with  a 
scornful  look.  He  politely  arose  and  stepped  out 
of  the  pew  for  her  to  enter,  Avhereupon  she  dropped 
down  into  the  seat  which  he  vacated,  although 
there  was  room  for  another,  and  closed  the  pew 
door,  fairly  shutting  him  out.  For  a  moment  he 


POLITENESS.  149 

stood  abashed,  when  the  proprietor  of  the  next 
pew  relieved  him  by  kindly  inviting  him  to  a  seat. 
After  the  service,  as  we  were  going  out,  my  friend 
remarked,  "That  woman  belongs  to  one  of  our 
highest  families." 

We  have  seen  ladies  open  the  door  of  a  crowded 
omnibus,  and  fasten  their  eyes  upon  the  nearest 
gentleman  with  a  gaze  that  said,  "We  have  the 
first  claim  to  that  seat,  sir;  please  acknowledge 
it ; "  and  they  won  the  day.  On  one  occasion  we 
noticed  such  a  female  in  the  omnibus,  and,  after 
several  passengers  had  alighted,  and  others  desired 
to  enter,  she  was  the  last  one  to  move  an  inch  ;  but 
spread  out  her  skirts  over  a  space  quite  ample  for 
two  occupants.  There  is  much  of  this  kind  of  mis- 
named politeness  among  the  proud  and  fashionable. 
It  may  arise  from  the  fact  that  custom  very  prop- 
erly concedes  the  first  place  to  woman,  on  all 
occasions.  We  do  not  censure  this  custom.  It  is  best 
that  itr  should  be  so.  But  this  is  no  excuse  for  such 
unwomanly  acts  as  those  enumerated.  Let  ladies 
share  the  first  place  and  first  attentions ;  but  let  them 
never  say  by  their  conduct  that  they  mean  to  do 
it;  for  this  is  rudeness.  Young  ladies,  to  whom 
custom  is  constantly  granting  the  first  place  and 
attentions,  are  in  danger  of  falling  into  a  manner  of 
demanding  these,  which  is  always  inconsistent  with 
true  politeness. 

13* 


150          THE   GOOD   GIRL   AND   TRUE   WOMAN. 

We  close  this  chapter  with  a  passage  from  a  good 
writer  upon  this  subject :  "  The  Christian  gentleman 
and  lady  are  such  because  they  love  their  neighbor 
as  themselves;  and  to  be  a  thorough  Christian 
without  being  a  gentleman  and  lady  is  impossible. 
Wherever  we  find  the  rich  without  arrogance,  and 
the  poor  without  envy,  —  the  various  members  of 
society  sustaining  their  mutual  relations  without 
suspicion  or  pretension  ;  the  family  circle  free  from 
rivalry,  fault-finding,  or  discord,  —  we  shall  find 
nothing  ungentle,  for  there  the  spirit  of  Chris- 
tianity reigns.  He  who  is  pure  in  heart  can  never 
be  vulgar  in  speech,  and  he  who  is  meek  and  loving 
in  spirit  can  never  be  rude  in  manners." 


CHAPTER    XIII. 

VANITY. 

»AicrrY  INCOMPATIBLE  WITH  FOREGOING  QUALITIES  —  GIRLS  DIS- 
POSED TO  BE  VAIN  —  THE  WORLD  A  VANITY  FAIR — ONE  VAIN 
OF  BEAUTY,  ANOTHER  OF  DRESS,  ETC. — ANECDOTE  BY  HOWITT 
—  VANITY-  CONSIDERED  A  SMALL  FAULT — HOW  PARENTS  TEACH 
IT  —  WHAT  L'  AIME  MARTIN  SAYS  OF  FRANCE  TRUE  OF  AMER- 
ICA—  LINES  OF  POLLOK  —  REMARKS  OF  DR.  MAGOON  —  VANITY 
HINDERS  SUCCESS  BY  DWARFING  THE  MIND  AND  CORRUPTING 
THE  HEART — EXAMPLE  OF  MARY  LYON  —  OF  PRINCESS  CHAR- 
LOTTE—  INCIDENT  IN  LIFE  OF  THE  LATTER  —  THE  SHAWL  WORTH 
THREE  THOUSAND  GUINEAS  —  JOSEPHINE  —  CORNELIA,  THB 
MOTHER  OF  THE  GRACCHI — REMARKS  OF  ROLLIN  —  VANITY  A 
WEAKNESS  AND  SIN. 

VANITY  is  incompatible  with  that  amiable,  modest 
spirit,  and  that  mental  culture  and  polite  bearing, 
of  which  we  have  spoken.  There  are  several  other 
evils,  immediately  connected  with  this,  equally 
inconsistent  with  a  happy  development  of  female 
character,  each  of  which  will  be  considered  in  suc- 
ceeding chapters.  But  vanity  now  claims  our 
attention. 

Women  are  inclined  to  be  vain.  This  point  is 
generally  conceded.  There  is  so  much  eflbrt  among 
them  to  make  display,  such  servility  to  the  demands 


152  THE    GOOD   GIRL    AND    TRU»   WOMAN. 

of  fashion,  such  fondness  for  dress  and  ornaments, 
such  extravagance  in  possessing  the  light  adornings 
which  the  world  affords,  that  they  have  been  said 
to  convert  the  world  into  a  Vanity  Fair.  Nor  is 
the  allegation  altogether  unjust.  We  have  only  to 
walk  through  the  principal  streets  of  our  cities,  or 
attend  a  fashionable  party  or  ball,  or  even  go  to 
the  house  of  God  on  the  Sabbath,  for  proof  of  this. 
Traders  in  fancy  articles,  milliners  and  mantua- 
makers,  hotel  proprietors  and  servants,  and  bank- 
rupt husbands  and  fathers,  could  tell  painful  stories 
on  this  subject.  It  is  the  vanity  of  woman  that 
causes  much  of  the  unbounded  extravagance  in  our 
land.  SJie  has  the  power  to  check  that  costly  dis- 
play which  everywhere  meets  the  eye.  If  man  par- 
ticipates in  this  show,  he  does  it  more  to  gratify 
woman  than  to  please  his  own  taste. 

Vanity  assumes  a  variety  of  forms,  and  is  not 
always  concerned  with  the  same  objects.  One  fe- 
male is  vain  of  her  beauty ;  another  of  her  apparel ; 
a  third  of  her  delicate  hand  or  foot ;  a  fourth  of  her 
pearl  white  teeth;  a  fifth  of  her  ornaments;  a  sixth 
of  her  wealth  ;  a  seventh  of  her  splendid  house  and 
costly  furniture,  and  thus  through  the  various  pos- 
sessions of  the  world.  There  are  some  vain  per- 
sons, however,  whose  vanity  appears  to  centre  upon 
no  particular  object,  since  they  possess  nothing 
that  could  possibly  furnish  the  occasion  of  it.  Gen- 


VANITY.  153 

erally,  vanity  expends  itself  upon  the  most  useless 
and  unimportant  things.  Howitt,  in  his  Rural 
Life  in  England,  says,  "  I  have  heard  of  a  gentle- 
man of  large  fortune  who,  for  some  years  after  his 
residence  in  a  particular  neighborhood,  did  not  set 
up  his  close  carriage ;  but  afterwards,  feeling  it  more 
agreeable  to  do  so,  was  astonished  to  find  himself 
called  upon  by  a  host  of  carriage-keeping  people, 
who  did  not  seem  previously  aware  of  his  existence ; 
and,  rightly  deeming  the  calls  to  be  made  upon  his 
carriage,  rather  than  himself,  sent  round  his  empty 
carriage  to  deliver  cards  in  return.  It  was  a  biting 
satire  on  a  melancholy  condition  of  society,  the  full 
force  of  which  can  only  be  perceived  by  such  as 
have  heard  the  continual  exultations  of  those  who 
have  dined  with  such  a  great  person  on  such  a  day, 
and  the  equally  eager  complaints  of  others,  of  the 
pride  and  exclusiveness  they  meet  with ;  who  have 
listened  to  the  long  catalogue  of  slights,  dead  cuts, 
and  offences,  and  witnessed  the  perpetual  heart- 
burnings incident  to  such  a  state  of  things."  So  it 
is  with  some  female  society  in  our  own"  land.  There 
are  vain  women  who  condescend  to  take  notice  of 
another  only  because  she  had  seen  her  carriage  in 
the  street,  or  her  expensive  apparel  at  church. 
The  respect  is  paid  to  the  style  and  trinkets,  of 
course,  and  not  to  their  possessor.  Remove  the 
former,  and  at  once  the  vanity  of  the  caller  leads 


154          THE    GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

her  to  "  cut  acquaintance,"  and  look  for  other  car- 
riages and  garments  elsewhere  to  honor. 

Some  girls  are  educated  in  such  a  state  of  so- 
ciety ;  and  we  can  scarcely  wonder  that  vanity 
becomes  their  principal  characteristic.  They  are 
never  taught  that  it  is  an  evil,  or  that  it  is  incon- 
sistent with  the  highest  charms  of  girlhood.  Per- 
haps, generally,  vanity  is  regarded  as  a  trivial  fault, 
scarcely  warranting  much  attention  either  way. 
On  this  account,  parents,  otherwise  considerate,  tell 
their  children  about  their  "  beautiful  appearance," 
"pretty  dresses,"  and  "fine  figure,"  thus  schooling 
them  in  vanity,  and  training  them  up  to  value  the 
dress  more  than  the  soul  beneath  it.  What  L'Aimd 
Martin  says  of  France,  is  true  of  America :  "  The 
great  care  is  to  please  the  world,  rather  than  to 
resist  it ;  the  wish  is  to  shine  —  to  reign  ;  vanity,  — 
that  is  the  end  to  which  tender  mothers  do  not 
cease  to  point  their  daughters,  and  upon  which  the 
world  that  pushes  them  on  sees  them  wrecked  with 
indifference.  Vanity  in  accomplishments!  vanity 
iu  dress !  vanity  in  learning !  This  show  covers 
all.  To  seem,  not  to  be,  makes  the  sum  and  sub-  • 
stance  of  education." 

It  is  a  very  humiliating  picture  of  society  to  draw, 
but  it  is  nevertheless  true.  Pollok  describes  many 
a  vain  girl  in  the  lines : 


VANITT.  155 

"  Long,  long  the  fair  one  labored  at  the  glass, 
And,  being  tired,  called  in  auxiliar  skill, 
To  have  her  sails,  before  she  went  abroad, 
Full  spread,  and  nicely  set,  to  catch  the  gale 
Of  praise.    And  much  she  caught,  and  much  deserved, 
When  outward  loveliness  was  index  fair 
Of  purity  within;  but  oft,  alas ! 
The  bloom  was  on  the  skin  alone ! " 

And  Dr.  Magoon  did  not  write  amiss  when  he 
spoke  of  certain  "  maids  and  matrons,  who  bestow 
all  their  thoughts  and  precious  time  in  hollow  cere- 
monies and  glittering  display,  with  so  little  good 
sense  in  their  heads,  and  so  little  true  perception  of 
the  sublime  and  beautiful  in  their  souls,  that,  could 
an  ape  or  parrot  describe  its  own  gambols  and  chat- 
tering, it  would  be  a  text-book  of  wisdom  compared 
with  the  history  of  decorated  fools  in  human  shape. 
Miserable  indeed  are  those  who  strain  every  faculty 
to  appear  august  and  important  for  a  moment,  and 
then,  at  the  first  flash  of  eternity,  are  destined  to 
be  transmuted  into  shame  and  everlasting  con- 
tempt." 

Vanity  is  a  weakness  that  cannot  secure  the  favor 
and  confidence  of  the  really  intelligent  and  good. 
On  this- account,  it  is  an  insurmountable  barrier  to 
true  success.  Nor  is  this  the  only,  or  worst  way 
of  its  operating  against  the  highest  welfare  of  fe- 
males. It  causes  them  to  overlook  the  weighty 


156     THE  GOOD  GIRL  AND  TRUE  WOMAN. 

4 

obligations  of  life,  and  to  pursue  "  airy  nothings." 
It  closes  the  mind  against  noble  and  generous  pur- 
poses, and  belittles  it  by  habitual  attention  to  tri- 
fles. A  vain  woman  cannot  be  very  good  or  very 
useful. 

"We  need  scarcely  say  that  Mary  Lyon  never 
went  to  Vanity  Fair.  A  cultivated  mind,  and  an 
amiable,  humble  spirit  like  hers,  find  pleasure  else- 
where. If  she  failed  at  all,  it  was  in  the  opposite 
direction.  Her  gifted  mind  was  above  such  foibles, 
and  was  at  home  only  in  the  region  of  thought  and 
purity.  Her  friend^  would  smile  at  the  idea  of  her 
aspiring  after  costly  decorations,  and  becoming  vain 
of  external  appearances ;  for  such  things  belong 
to  weaker  minds. 

The  character  of  the  Princess  Charlotte  has  ever 
been  admired  for  that  artless  simplicity  which  was 
its  peculiar  adornment.  It  was  quite  impossible  to 
discover  a  tinge  of  vanity  in  it.  Some  would  be 
vain  of  such  position  as  hers,  and  look  down  with 
scorn  upon  those  of  inferior  rank.  But  this  was 
not  her  spirit.  At  one  time  an  old  female  attend- 
ant, formerly  her  nurse,  was  sick,  and  the  Princess 
became  nurse  herself,  waited  upon  the  poor  woman, 
and  administered  medicine  with  her  own  hand. 
When  she  died,  the  Princess  gave  vent  to  her  sor- 
row in  a  flood  of  tears,  whereupon  a  friend  of  the 
deceased  said,  "If  your  Royal  Highness  would 


VANITY.  157 

condescend  to  touch  her,  perhaps  you  would  not 
dream  of  her."  —  "  Touch  her,"  replied  the  amiable 
Princess,  "yes,  poor  thing!  and  kiss  her,  too; 
almost  the  only  one  I  ever  kissed,  except  my 
poor  mother !  "  Then,  leaning  over  the  coffin,  she 
pressed  her  lips  to  the  cold  and  Hfeless  cheek. 
There  are  vain  young  ladies  around  us,  who  would 
consider  it  almost  an  unpardonable  sin  to  wait  upon 
a  sick  domestic,  or  even  to  notice  them,  except  in 
the  way  of  ordering  them  about.  Let  them  learn  a 
lesson  from  the  example  of  the  Princess  Charlotte. 

In  another  act  her  character  appears  to  great 
advantage  in  contrast  with  the  crowd  at  Vanity 
Fair.  The  latter  are  vain  of  foreign  fashions  and 
materials.  They  must  have  garments  fresh  from 
the  bazaars  of  fashion  in  France,  or  none.  But,  on 
one  occasion,  a  shawl  of  uncommon  worth  and 
beauty,  just  received  from  India,  was  handed  to 
her.  It  was  valued  at  three  thousand  guineas. 
She  examined,  and  then  returned  it,  saying,  "  In 
the  first  place,  I  cannot  afford  to  give  three  thou- 
sand guineas  for  a  shawl;  and  in  the  second,  a  Nor- 
wich shawl,  of  the  value  of  half-a-crown,  manufac- 
tured by  a  native  of  England,  would  become  me 
better  than  the  costliest  article  which  the  loom  of 
fmlia  ever  produced."  ,.,.«i- . 

The  character  of  the  Empress  Josephine  was 
equally  free  from  vanity.  On  this  account  she  was 
14 


158  THE    GOOD   GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

greatly  beloved  by  all  classes.  The  first  time  she 
left  St.  Cloud  for  a  distant  excursion,  after  she  be- 
came Empress,  she  took  considerable  pains  to  find 
one  of  the  inferior  servants,  in  order  to  deliver 
some  message.  The  chief  steward  remonstrated 
with  her  for  thus  compromising  her  dignity.  To 
which  she  replied,  "  You  are  quite  right,  my  good 
sir  ;  such  neglect  of  etiquette  would  be  altogether 
inexcusable  in  a  princess  trained  from  birth  to  the 
restraints  of  a  throne ;  but  have  the  goodness  to 
recollect  that  I  have  enjoyed  the  felicity  of  living 
so  many  years  as  a  private  individual,  and  do  not 
take  it  amiss  if  I  sometimes  venture  to  speak  kindly 
to  my  servants,  without  an  interpreter." 

Perhaps  no  Roman  lady  was  ever  more  beloved 
in  her  day,  or  occupies  a  more  prominent  place  on 
the  page  of  history,  than  Cornelia,  the  mother  of 
the  Gracchi.  Simplicity  was  a  striking  feature  of 
her  character,  and  she  observed  it  both  in  dress 
and  manners.  A  la'dy  of  Campania  once  made  her 
a  visit,  and  availed  herself  of  the  opportunity  to 
display  "  whatever  was  then  most  fashionable  and 
valuable  for  the  toilet  —  gold  and  silver,  jewels,  dia- 
monds, bracelets,  and  pendants."  She  expected 
that  Cornelia  would  display  still  finer  ornaments, 
and  expressed,  the  desire  to  see  her  toilet.  Cor- 
nelia artfully  prolonged  the  conversation  until  her 
children  came  home  from  school ;  then,  rising  and 


TANITT.  159 

addressing  her  lady  visitor,  she  said,  pointing  to 
the  children,  "  These  are  my  jewels."  Rollin,  in 
speaking  of  these  two  Roman  women,  says :  "  We 
need  only  examine  our  own  thoughts,  in  relation  to 
those  two  ladies,  to  find  out  how  far  superior  the 
noble  simplicity  of  the  one  was  to  the  vain  mag- 
nificence of  the  other ;  and,  indeed,  what  merit  or 
ability  is  there  in  buying  "up  a  large  collection  of 
precious  stones  and  jewels,  in  being  vain  of  them, 
or  in  not  knowing  how  to  talk  of  anything  else  ? 
And  on  the  other  hand,  how  truly  worthy  is  it,  in 
a  person  of  the  first  quality,  to  be  above  such  trifles  ; 
to  place  her  honor  and  glory  in  the  education  of 
her  children ;  in  sparing  no  expense  towards  the 
bringing  of  it  about,  and  in  showing  that  nobleness 
and  greatness  of  soul  do  equally  belong  to  both 
sexes !  " 

We  press  this  subject  upon  the  attention  of  our 
readers  as  one  of  paramount  importance.  Shun 
vanity  as  a  weakness  that  will  hinder  you  in  the 
path  of  usefulness.  Shun  it  as  a  gross  defect  of 
character  that  will  make  more  enemies  than  ad- 
mirers. Shun  it  as  corrupting  to  the  soul,  and 
inimical  to  excellence  of  heart.  Shun  it  as  .an  evil 
that  God  abhors,  because  it  destroys  the  usefulness 
of  life,  and  cheats  souls  out  of  immortal  glory. 
"Surely  God  will  not  hear  vanity,  neither  will  the 
Almighty  regard*  it." 


CHAPTER    XIY. 


FASHION. 


REMARK  OF  CECIL  —DEVOTION  OF  FEMALES  TO  FASHION  —  GREAT 
MEN  AND  WOMEN  DID  NOT  HAVE  FASHIONABLE  MOTHERS—  THE 
DAUGHTER  OF  HENRY  LAURENS  —  MART  LYON  ON  "  WEARING 
THIN  SHOES  AND  COTTON  HOSE"  —  GIRLS  KILLING  THEMSELVES 
FOR  FASHION  —  TESTIMONY  OF  PHYSICIANS  —  DR.  COGAN  —  A 
WASTE  OF  TIME  —  A  LADY  AT  A  HOTEL  —  WHAT  MRS.  OSSOLI 
SAW  —  FASHION  DESTROYS  TASTE  FOR  INTELLECTUAL  AND  MOR- 
'AL  THINGS  —  ENGENDERS  SELFISHNESS  —  SICK  ROOM  AND  BALL 
ROOM  —  SACRIFICES  MADE  FOR  FASHION  —  OF  MONEY  AND  LA, 
BOR  —  TORTURES  ENDURED  FOR  IT,  AS  EARS  BORED,  FEET 
PINCHED,  BODIES  SQUEEZED  —  AFRICAN  -WOMEN  —  THE  CHI- 
NESE —  INHABITANTS  OF  NEW  GUINEA  —  OUR  FASHIONABLES 
LIKE  THEM  —  SUCH  REGARD  TO  FASHION  A  BARRIER  TO  SUC- 
CESS—POETRY. 


THE  celebrated  Cecil  once  said:  "Doing  as  others 
do  is  the  prevalent  principle  of  the  present  female 
character.  This  —  so  far  as  it  avails  with  man  or 
woman  —  is  the  ruin,  death,  and  grave,  of  all  that 
is  noble,  and  virtuous,  and  praiseworthy."  This  is 
what  we  mean  by  fashion  :  aping  styles  of  dress, 
manners,  and  living,  which  prevail  in  certain  circles. 
This  so  far  controls  the  lives  of  a  class  of  young 
women  as  to  leave  little  opportunity  for  the  growth 
of  nobler  sentiments  in  the  heart.  They  are  so 


FASHION.  161 

much  absorbed  in  this  subject  as  to  'think  or  talk 
little  about  anything  else.  Listen  to  their  conver- 
sation, and  it  is  about  their  own  or  others'  dresses, 
which  are  "  in  fashion,"  or  "  old-fashioned,"  as  the 
case  may  be,  as  if  it  were  a  subject  of  the  gravest 
importance.  One  would  infer  from  their  attention 
to  it,  that  reputation  and  happiness  both  depended 
upon  it.  The  consequence  is  that  their  minds  be- 
come grovelling,  and  their  hearts  selfish.  There  are 
few  greater  foes  to  the  most  desirable  qualities  of 
female  character  than  this  extreme  servitude  to 
fashion.  It  involves  frivolity  and  general  lightness 
of  character,  that  never  lead  to  usefulness  or  true 
worth.  A  very  fashionable  woman  was  never 
known  to  be  very  good  or  very  useful.  It  is  also 
true  of  all  great  and  good  men  and  women,  that 
they  did  not  have  so-called  fashionable  mothers. 
The  mothers  of  Lord  Bacon,  Newton,  Halyburton, 
Doddridge,  Wesley,  Washington,  and  many  other 
men  of  equal  fame,  were  not  the  slaves  of  fashion. 
The  same  was  true  of  the  mothers  of  Harriet 
Newell,  Lucretia  Davidson,  and  Mary  Edwards. 
Fashionable  mothers  have  too  little  sense  of  their 
responsibility  to  attend  faithfully  to  the  training 
of  their  children.  Ribbons  and  ornaments  have 
more  value  in  their  estimation  than  wholesome 
lessons  upon  morals  and  religion. 

The  daughter  of  Henry  Laurens,  who  *was  Pres- 
14* 


162          THE    GOOD  GIKL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

ident  of  the  Continental  Congress,  was  brought 
into  contact  with  the  most  fashionable  society  of 
France,  when  she  resided  at  Paris  with  her  father. 
She  was  at  full  liberty  to  be  extravagant  in  yield- 
ing to  the  demands  of  custom  and  style,  but  she 
did  not.  On  one  occasion  her  father  made  her  a 
present  of  five  hundred  guineas,  evidently  with 
the  intention  of  having  her  conform  more  to  the 
habits  of  gay  life  ;  but,  after  appropriating  a  small 
part  of  it  to  her  own  use,  she  purchased  a  quantity 
of  French  Testaments,  which  she  distributed  among 
the  poor,  and  established  a  school  for  the  instruc- 
tion of  this  class,  constituting  a  fund  for  defraying 
the  annual  expenses  thereof.  Subsequently,  she 
married  Dr.  Ramsay,  the  historian  of  South  Caro- 
lina, and  continued  still  to  live  in  her  unosten- 
tatious way.  Before  her  death,  she  requested  that 
her  coffin  should  be  plain,  and  without  a  plate. 
Her  conduct  contrasts  nobly  with  that  of  females 
who  not  only  spend  all  the  means  they  can  com- 
mand at  the  shrine  of  fashion,  but  sigh  for  more. 

When  Mary  Lyon  was  at  the  head  of  Mount 
Holyoke  Seminary,  she  was  pained  by  the  devotion 
of  girls  to  fashion.  She  had  never  been  guilty  of 
this  herself,  and  had  always  been  aware  that  the 
evil  prevailed  among  her  sex.  But  when  she  had 
two  or  three  hundred  girls  from  various  parts  of 
the  Union  and  from  all  ranks  of  society,  under  her 


FASHION.  163 

charge,  she  was  more  impressed  than  ever  with  the 
magnitude  of  the  evil.  One  day  a  composition  was 
read  on  "wearing  thin  shoes  and  cotton  hose," 
which  is  a  demand  of  fashion,  otherwise  it  would 
be  abandoned  for  the  sake  of  comfort  and  health. 
Miss  Lyon  improved  the  opportunity  to  impart 
some  good  counsel  upon  the  subject,  and  said : 
"  When  you  became  members  of  this  school,  it  was 
expected  you  would  have  maturity  of  character  and 
moral  principle  enough  to  do  what  was  right,  with- 
out a  formal  command.  If  you  had  not,  it  were 
better  by  all  means  that  you  go  to  a  smaller  school 
for  younger  persons,  where  you  might  receive  the 
peculiar  care  needed  by  little  girls.  There  are  two 
things,  young  ladies,  that  we  expressly  say  you 
must  not  do.  One  is,  that  you  must  not  violate  the 
fire  laws  (alluding  to  several  regulations  of  the 
family  in  regard  to  fire)  ;  the  other  is,  that  you 
must  not  kill  yourselves.  If  you  will  persist  in 
killing  yourselves  by  reckless  exposure,  we  are  not 
willing  to  take  the  responsibility  of  the  act.  We 
think  by  all  means  you  had  better  go  home  and 
die  in  the  arms  of  your  dear  mothers.  Such  ex- 
posures are  a  direct  violation  of  the  commands  of 
God :  4  Thou  shalt  not  kill,'  and  '  thou  shalt  not 
steal ; '  for  a  violation  of  the  first  involves  a  vio- 
lation of  the  second,  as  by  it  you  rob  the  world  of 
the  good  you  ought  to  do." 


164          THE    GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

Girls  should  avoid,  as  far  as  possible,  foolish,  un- 
healthful,  extravagant,  vain,  and  wicked  things, 
if  they  would  do  their  life-work  well ;  and  .hence 
they  should  never  become  the  slaves  of  fashion,  for 
this  is  an  aggregation  of  all  these  undesirable  things. 

In  the  first  place,  excess  of  fashion  leads  to  a 
sacrifice  of  health.  This  was  the  principal  reason 
why  Miss  Lyon  condemned  it.  Physicians  declare 
that  "  thin  shoes  and  cotton  hose,"  together  with 
modes  of  dress  observed  by  females,  cause  much 
sickness  and  premature  death.  It  cannot  be  other- 
wise ;  for,  at  the  bidding  of  fashion,  women  will 
cast  aside  the  most  comfortable  apparel  for  that 
which  exposes  them  to  the  cold.  Furs  are  not 
wanted  when  they  are  not  considered  "in  style." 
Woollen  in  summer  and  gauze  in  winter,  is  a  change 
very  easily  wrought  by  fashion.  Dr.  Cogan  says, 
"  It  will  render  that  particular  garb,  which  we  once 
thought  so  warm  and  comfortable,  hot  and  insup- 
portable as  the  sultry  dog-days;  and  it  makes  the 
slightest  covering,  contrary  to  its  pristine  nature, 
remarkably  pleasant  in  the  depth  of  winter.  The 
flowing  hair  or  adjusted  ringlets  shall,  at  one  period, 
be  considered  as  becoming  and  elegant ;  at  another, 
be  rejected  as  an  insufferable  mark  of  effeminacy." 
These  perpetual  changes,  and  disregard  of  the 
weather,  in  female  apparel,  must  be  detrimental  to 
health. 


FASHION.  165 

^ 

What  a  sinful  waste  of  time,  too,  the  devotees 
of  fashion  make  !  Some  young  ladies  spend  nearly 
their  whole  time  in  arranging  their  toilet.  Wives 
of  this  stamp  can  scarcely  find  time  to  stitch  a 
dickey  for  their  husbands  ;  and  fashionable  mothers 
have  little  time  to  attend  to  maternal  duties.  A 
lady,  boarding  at  a  fashionable  hotel,  informed  the 
writer,  that  she  had  scarcely  any  time  for  reading 
and  sewing  when  she  observed  the  rules  of 
etiquette  in  the  house.  She  could  not  be  useful 
if  she  would,  as  no  time  was  left  for  that. 

Nothing  can  be  more  foolish  than  this  slavery  to 
personal  adornments.  Says  Margaret  Fuller  Ossoli : 
"A  little  while  since  I  was  at  one  of  the  most 
fashionable  places  of  public  resort.  I  saw  there 
many  women,  dressed  without  regard  to  the  season 
or  the  demands  of  the  place,  in  apery,  or,  as  it 
looked,  in  mockery,  of  European  fashions.  I  saw 
their  eyes  restlessly  courting  attention.  I  saw  the 
way  in  which  it  was  paid ;  the  style  of  devotion, 
almost  an  open  sneer,  which  it  pleased  those  ladies 
to  receive  from  men  whose  expression  marked 
their  own  low  position  in  the  moral  and  intellectual 
world.  Those  women  went  to  their  pillows  with 
their  heads  full  of  folly,  their  hearts  of  jealousy, 
or  gratified  vanity  ;  those  men,  with  the  low  opin- 
ion they  already  entertained  of  woman  confirmed. 
These  were  American  ladies;  that  is,  they  were  of 


166  THE    GOOD   GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

•    > 

that  class  who  have  wealth  and  leisure  to  make  full 
use  of  the  day,  and  confer  benefits  on  others. 
They  were  of  that  class  whom  the  possession  of 
external  advantages  makes  of  pernicious  example 
to  many,  if  these  advantages  be  misused."  What 
a  picture  of  folly  is  here !  Yet  it  is  true  to  the 
life;  and  a  host  of  girls  are  being  trained  for  just 
such  foolishness. 

Excessive  devotion  to  fashion,  as  we  have  hinted, 
destroys  a  taste  for- intellectual  and  moral  things. 
Its  worshippers  are  among  the  unintelligent  and 
thoughtless  of  the  female  sex.  There  is  usually 
less  knowledge  of  science  and  literature,  of  moral 
principles  and  the  Bible,  among  this  class,  than 
there  is  among  persons  of  humbler  pretensions. 
It  is  not  often  that  they  discuss  substantial  topics, 
or  read  any  volume  but  the  latest  novel.  The  girls 
who  imitate  their  example,  will  be  equally  ignorant 
and  worldly. 

That  it  engenders  selfishness,  and  a  consequent 
disregard  of  obligation  to  do  good,  we  need 
scarcely  add.  As  much  has  been  implied  in  the 
foregoing  remarks.  Who  ever  heard  of  a  slav.e  of 
fashion  threading  the  streets  of  village  or  city  on 
missions  of  good,  to  the  poor  and  suffering  ?  Are 
these  the  ladies  to  whom  application  is  generally 
made  for  services  in  sickness  and  affliction  ?  By 
no  means;  for  they  are  the  very  first  to  excuse 


FASHION.  167 

themselves  from  watching  and  nursing,  because 
the  loss  of  sleep  is  injurious  to  their  health,  though 
they  can  spend  whole  nights  in  the  ball-room,  or 
at  the  splendid  party  of  pleasure.  They  are  never 
interested  particularly  in  philanthropic  and  benev- 
olent movements.  In  their  view,  it  is  not  genteel 
to  distribute  tracts,  to  gather  poor  children  into 
the  Sabbath  School,  and  to  pei'form  other  labors 
which  Christian  females  delight  to  do. 

We  may  add,  that,  in  every  community,  there 
are  women  who  follow  the  fashions  with  some 
moderation,  and  yet  they  have  little  relish  for  / 
doing  good.  They  can  endure  fatigue,  and  incon- 
venience, and  part  with  all  they  earn,  and  sew  and 
stitch,  for  the  sake  of  being  "  in  style ; "  but  they 
cannot  exert  themselves  half  as  much  in  doing 
good.  If  they  were  compelled  to  submit  to  as 
much  personal  inconvenience  and  suffering  in 
benevolent  works,  they  would  shrink  from  it ;  for, 
notice  what  they  cheerfully  endure  in  order  to  be 
fashionable.  They  submit  to  having  the  waist 
compressed  into  half  its  natural  size,  thus  impeding 
the  motion  of  the  lungs,  and  rendering  the  process 
of  breathing  difficult.  They  will  suffer'  their  ears 
to  be  bored  through  in  order  to  suspend  therefrom 
golden  ornaments,  and  their  feet  to  be  pinched 
with  small  shoes  for  the  sake  of  graceful  size. 
They  are  like  the  Greenland  women,  who  tattoo 


168          THE    GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

their  bodies  by  saturating  threads  in  soot,  which 
they  insert  beneath  the  skin,  and  then  draw  them 
through  ;  or  African  females,  whose  most  coveted 
ornaments  are  large  brass  anklets,  and  armlets  of 
both  brass  and  ivory,  which  very  often  wear  the 
skin  off  the  ankles  and  wrists.  We  wonder  at  the 
folly  of  these  heathen  females,  and  are  surprised 
that  they  should  torture  themselves  thus  for  the 
sake  of  appearance ;  but,  how  is  it  with  the  fash- 
ionable women  of  this  Christian  land,  to  whom  we 
have  referred  ?  Is  it  not  equally  a  torture  to  bore 
the  ears,  and  endure  other  suffering,  in  order  to  be 
in  fashion  ?  How  does  an  American  woman,  who 
compresses  her  foot  into  a  tight  shoe,  differ  from 
the  Chinese  female,  who  does  a  similar  thing  to 
her  little  child  ?  If  one  is  torture,  so  is  the  other. 
In  New  Guinea  the  nose  is  perforated,  instead  of 
the  ear,  to  receive  ornaments.  How  does  this  dif- 
fer, in  respect  to  torture,  from  ear-boring  ?  If  we 
should  hear  from  some  heathen  land  that  the 
benighted  people  seized  all  foreign  women  who 
came  to  their  shore,  and  first  perforated  their  ears,  in 
order  to  introduce  a  wire  for  confining  them,  and  put 
their  feet  into  cases  that  pinched  them  badly,  and 
their  bodies  into  machines  that  compressed  them 
so  as  to  render  breathing  labored,  and  then  obliged 
them  to  walk  the  streets  with  enormous  skirts  sus- 
pended upon  their  hips,  made  heavy  with  metallic 


FASHION.  169 

supports ;  and,  in  addition,  forced  them  to  run  the 
hazard  of  life  by  eating  arsenic,  as  some  young 
»ladies  do,  to  produce  a  clear  delicate  complexion ; — 
I  say,  if  we  should  hear  of  such  things  being  per- 
petrated upon  American  ladies  who  visit  a  foreign 
land,  we  should  call  upon  "the  powers  that  be"  to 
put  a  stop  to  such  barbarities.  And  yet  all  this  is 
done,  in  obedience  to  fashion,  in  our  own  land. 
What  would  these  females  say  if  they  were 
required  to  submit  to  such  things  in  the  cause  of 
benevolence?  They  would  start  back  with  horror, 
and  wonder  who  could  believe  that  Christ  was  the 
author  of  so  cruel  a  gospel. 

It  must  be  clear,  then,  to  every  reader,  that  such 
undue  regard  for  fashion  is  an  insurmountable  bar- 
rier to  female  eminence.  No  girl  who  would  act  a 
noble  part  in  )ife  should  allow  her  mind  to  become 
thus  absorbed  in  the  matter.  If  she  would  wield 
an  influence,  or  make  for  herself  a  character  akin 
to  that  of  Mary  Lyon,  she  must  firmly  oppose  these 
extravagant  demands  of  custom.  With  heroic 
independence  she  must  pursue  her  convictions  of 
right,  let  others  do  as  they  may.  Not  that  we 
would  have  girls  live  wholly  regardless  of  fashion, 
and  observe  none  of  the  rules  of  refined  society 
relating  to  this  subject ;  but  simply  avoid  yielding 
to  its  control.  It  is  quite  necessary  for  them  to 
observe  the  fashions  to  a  certain  extent,  so  long  as 

15 


170     THE  GOOD  GIRL  AND  TRUE  WOMAN. 

they  recognize  social  laws ;  but  it  is  neither  neces- 
sary nor  safe  for  them  to  make  it  their  goddess.  It 
is  against  excess  in  the"  matter  that  we  warn  them. 


"  Her  polished  limbs 
Veiled  in  a  simple  robe,  their  best  attire, 
Beyond  the  pomp  of  dress ;  for  loveliness 
Needs  not  the  foreign  aid  of  ornament, 
But  is,  when  unadorn'd,  adorn'd  the  most.' 

'.'"'  Thomson. 


CHAPTER     XV. 


D  E  E  S  S. 


CONNECTION  WITH  TWO  PRECEDING  CHAPTERS  —  MART  LYON  on 

THIS  SUBJECT  —  DR.  HITCHCOCK'S  REPRESENTATION  OP  HER 
VIEWS — HER  VIEW  LIKE  HANNAH  MOKE'S  AND  REV.  JOHN  NEW- 
TON'S—  OBJECT  OP  DRESS  —  EXTRAVAGANCE  —  THE  BANKRUPT  — 
A  BOSTON  LADY'S  LACE  BILL — COSTLY  LEVEES  GIVEN  BY  THIS 
CLASS  —  POORER  CLASSES  IMITATE  RICH  —  A  POET'S  DESCRIP- 
TION—FEMALES IN  ALL  AGES  AND  NATIONS  POND  OP  DRESS  — 
THE  KAREN  LADY  WITH  FIFTEEN  NECKLACES  —  THE  PATAGON- 
IAN  FEMALES — BOY  BOUGHT  FOR  A  BUTTON  —  EXAMPLE  OP  KING8 
AND  QUEENS  —  COURT  SUIT  WORTH  *400,000 — NECKLACE  GIVEN 
TO  VICTORIA'S  DAUGHTER  COST  »20,000  —  QUEEN  ELIZABETH'S 
THREE  THOUSAND  DRESSES  —  A  FASHIONABLE  WOMAN  AND  HER 
TWENTY-EIGHT  TRUNKS  —  DRESS  PROVES  A  SNARE  —  CONTRAST 
WITH  A  LADY  AT  WASHINGTON  —  PRANCES  MCLELLAN  —  THK 
SCRIPTURES  —  REMARKS  OF  REV.  ALBERT  BARNES  —  LINES. 


THE  last  two  chapters  are  intimately  connected 
with  the  subject  of  Dress ;  but  it  deserves  a  dis- 
tinct consideration.  So  much  is  said  of  it,  and  it 
occupies  such  a  prominent  place  in  the  minds  of 
girls,  that  it  ought  not  to  be  passed  without  addi- 
tional notice. 

"We  would  not  present  Mary  Lyon  for  imitation 
in  respect  to  dress,  although  her  views  upon  the 
subject  were  substantially  correct.  It  must  be 
granted  that  some  more  attention  to  apparel 


172  THE   GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

would  have  contributed  somewhat  to  her  good 
appearance.  Her  theory  and  practice  on  this  sub- 
ject did  not  always  correspond.  And  yet  her 
biographer  says: 

"Her  mother  taught  her  to  be  honest,  to  be 
kind,  to  shun  everything  mean  and  wicked;  but 
she  did  not  take  so  much  pains  to  drill"  her  in  the 
most  approved  mode  of  standing,  sitting,  walk- 
ing, eating,  and  dressing.  These  she  left  to 
nature,  who  does  not  always  teach  according  to 
conventional  rules  and  forms.  Her  friends  can 
afford  to  admit  that  she  did  not  excel  in  the 
graces  of  the  drawingrroom.  In  her  early  and 
susceptible  years,  her  attention  was  not  turned 
to  her  appearance.  The  getting  a  thing  done  so 
engrossed  her  thoughts,  that  none  were  left  for  the 
manner  in  which  it  should  be  done.  Perhaps  no 
training  could  have  educated  her  to  live  to  be 
dressed  and  fed.  Clothing  and  food  were  means, 
not  ends,  in  her  nomenclature';  and  it  does  not 
seem  as  though  all  the  principalities  beneath  the 
skies  could  have  wrought  her  into  a  worshipper  of 
the  toilet.  She  was  born  to  a  different  destiny. 
There  seemed  wanting,  what  teachers  cannot  give, 
a  natural  bias  to  that  branch  of  study.  Dress 
could  not  get  between  her  and  the  sun.  She  did 
not  feel  above  attending  to  it.  On  the  contrary, 
she  considered  it  a  duty  to  dress  conformably  to 


DRESS.  173 

her  station.  .  .  With  Hannah  More,  she  held 
that  the  'perfection  of  the  art  is  so  to  dress  that 
no  one  will. recollect,  two  minutes  afterwards,  any- 
thing that  you  had  on.  She  sought  simplicity, 
neatness,  correspondence.  She  often  told  her 
scholars  that  dress  should  answer  to  the  age, 
employment,  health,  and  position  of  the  wearer, 
and  to  the  season,  weather,  and  the  occasion.  It 
cannot  be  denied  that  she  sometimes  fell  short  of 
her  theory.  Nature  would  get  the  better  of  rules. 
....  'No  gift  from  a  friend  or  pupil  was  more  ac- 
ceptable than  a  pretty  cap  or  collar.  In  anything 
pertaining  to  school  she"  seldom  asked  counsel  till 
she  had  made  up  ner  own  mind,  and  then  what 
she  wanted  was  approbation ;  but  in  matters  of 
the  toilet  she  was  grateful  for  advice.  When  she 
stood,  before  the  glass,  her  thoughts  were  at  the 
world's  end,  or  above  it.  Her  room-mate,  in  1834, 
says  she  well  remembers  her  standing  before  the 
mirror  in  their  room,  adjusting  her  bonnet  strings, 
and  saying  at  the  same  time,  in  an  impressive  man- 
ner, 'Well,  I  may  fail  of  heaven,  but  I  shall  be 
very  much  disappointed  if  I  do ; '  and  then  slowly 
and  emphatically  repeating,  '  very  much  disap- 
pointed.' We  have  as  little  reason  to  complain  of 
inattention  in  our  dull  scholars,  as  the  dress-makers 
sometimes  had  who  worked  for  her.  'You  must 
find  mind  as  well  as  fingers,'  she  would  say.  'I 
15* 


174        THE    GOOD   GIRL    AND    TKUE    WOMAN. 

expect  you  to  do  the  contriving  as  well  as  bring 
the  patterns.' " 

It  appears  from  this  extended  quotation  that 
she  was  not  so  devoid  of  taste,  in  the  matter  of 
dress,  as  many  have  supposed.  Whatever  her 
practice  may  have  been,  her  views  upon  the  sub- 
ject were  like  those  of  Hannah  More.  In  the 
main,  they  were  like  those  of  the  wife  of  John 
Hancock,  who  said,  "  She  would  never  forgive  a 
young  girl  who  did  not  dress  to  please,  nor  one 
who  seemed  pleased  with  her  dress."  That  is, 
she  would  have  girls  give  such  heed  to  their  ap- 
parel as  to  appear  neat,  tasteful,  and  elegant,  while 
they  should  not  be  excessively  fond  of  this  kind 
of  display.  This  was  essentially  the  view  of  Rev. 
John  Newton.  A  lady  once  asked  him  what  was 
the  best  rule  for  females  to  observe  m  dress,  and 
he  replied,  "  Madam,  so  dress,  and  so  conduct 
yourself,  that  persons  who  have  been  in  your  com- 
pany shall  not  recollect  what  you  had  on." 

Girls  should  by  no  means  be  indifferent  to  their 
apparel.  Dress  is  for  the  protection,  and  adorn- 
ment of  the  body.  Neatness,  taste,  and  elegance, 
should  be  properly  studied  in  the  selection  of  ma- 
terials and  the  choice  of  style.  The  female  char- 
acter appears  to  better  advantage  by  a  degree  of 
attention  paid  to  personal  appeai'ance.  This  can 
be  done,  too,  without  imitating  the  wicked  extrav- 


DRESS.  175 

agance  that  prevails  at  the  present  day.  There 
are  some  facts  relating  to  this  extravagance  which 
the  reader  will  do  well  to  consider. 

A  writer  says,  "  Not  long  since,  a  professional 
man,  with  an  income,  perhaps,  of  from  two  to  three 
thousand  dollars  a  year,  on  which  to  support  him- 
self, a  wife,  and  one  child,  became  bankrupt.  In- 
vestigation of  his  circumstances  showed,  that  he 
owed  about  six  thousand  dollars,  more  than  half  of 
the  sum  being  due  to  milliners  and  jewellers,  for 
his  wife's  finery."  -  A  respectable  paper  of  Boston 
states  that  "the  bill  of  a  lady  of  this  city,  for  1854, 
at  a  lace  and  embroidery  store,  was  two  thousand 
dollars,  and  of  several  ladies  at  one  of  the  dry 
goods  stores  of  the  city,  between  five  and  six  thou- 
sand dollars  each."  It  is  this  class  of  toilet-worship- 
pers, who  give  such  parties  as  a  writer  describes  in 
Philadelphia :  "  About  two  thousand  invitations 
were  issued,  and  the  entire  cost  of  the  entertain- 
ment, I  am  informed,  was  in  the  vicinity  of  twenty 
thousand  dollars,  —  the  bare  item  of  bouquets 
alone  costing  one  thousand  dollars,  which  were  dis- 
tributed in  elegant  profusion  around  her  splendid 
mansion."  A  wholesale  merchant  importer,  ad- 
dressing the  American  Women's  Education  So- 
ciety said,  "  You  have  got  hold  of  a  great  matter. 
I  hope  you  will  succeed.  The  women  are  wrong, 
sir.  They  are  not  educated  right.  They  are  going 


176  THE    GOOD   GIKL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

to  bankrupt  the  country,  unless  there  is  a  change. 
More  is  thought  of  show  than  stfbstance.  We  pay 
scores  of  millions  annually  for  ladies'  ornaments, 
which  are  of  no,  use.  We  are  paying  more  duties 
on  artificial  flowers  than  on  railroad  iron!  God 
help  you  to  elevate  the  position  and  the  aim  of 
woman ! " 

One  great  evil  of  this  extravagance  among  the 
wealthier  class  is,  that  it  is  imitated  by  those  who 
are  not  able  to  meet  such  expenses.  There  is 
scarcely  a  country  village  where  this  wasteful  imi- 
tation is  not  witnessed.  It  is  not  unusual  for 
girls  to  earn  from  two  to  three  hundred  dollars 
a  year  in  the  straw  business,  and  some  other 
kinds  of  employment,  and  expend  the  whole  for 
board  and  apparel.  Every  congregation  will  show 
one  or  more  females  who  answer  to  the  poet's 
description : 

"  But  who  is  this,  what  thing  of  sea  or  land, 
That 's  so  bedecked,  ornate,  and  gay, 
Comes  this  way  sailing  ? 
Like  a  stately  ship 
Of  Tarsus,  bound  for  the  isles 
Of  Javan,  or  Gadire, 

With  all  her  bravery  on,  and  tackle  trim, 
Sails  trimmed  and  streamers  waving,  . 

Courted  by  all  the  winds  that  hold  their  play. 
An  amber  scent  of  odorous  perfume 
Is  her  harbinger,  a  dandy  train  behind. 


DRESS.  177 

Some  rich  Philistrian  matron  she  may  seem ; 
But  now,  at  nearer  view,  no  other,  certain, 
.«     Than  a  modern  belle." 

"We  are  aware  that  this  extravagance  is  not  pe- 
culiar to  the  present  age  and  country.  Many  wo- 
men in  all  ages  and  nations  have  manifested  de- 
cided fondness  for  showy  apparel  and  costly  orna- 
ments. When  Dr.  Judson  went  to  preach  to  the 
Karens,  he  found  the  females  great  admirers  of 
ornaments.  He  said  that  he  counted  fifteen  neck- 
laces, of  all  colors,  sizes,  and  materials,  on  one  lady. 
Three  was  the  average  number  worn.  .  "  Brass 
belts  above  the  ankles ;  neat  braids  of  black  hair 
tied  below  the  Knees;  rings  of  all  sorts  on  the 
fingers;  bracelets  on  the  wrists  and  arms;  long 
instruments  of  some  metal,  perforating  the  lower 
part  of  the  ear,  by  an  immense  aperture,  and 
reaching  nearly  to  the  shoulders ;  fancifully  con- 
structed bags  enclosing  the  hair,  and  suspended 
from  the  back  part  of  the  head ;  not  to  speak  of 
the  ornamental  parts  of  their  clothing,  —  consti- 
tuted the  fashions  and  the  tons  of  the  fair  Karen- 
esses."  Mr.  Williams,  the  lamented  Patagonian 
Missionary,  said  that  the  Patagonian  women  were 
"  not  without  a  taste  for  ornament.  They  adorn 
their  hair  with  a  fillet  of  sinewy  threads,  elabor- 
ately and  not  inelegantly  plaited ;  and  on  great 
occasions  this  fillet  is  pranked  out  with  birds' 


*  • 

178          THE   GOOD  GIRL   AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 


feathers  on  bits  of  red  cloth,  obtained  from  the 
sailors.  They  are  fond  of  bracelets  and  necklaces. 
These  they  make  from  shells  and  the  small  bones 
of  animals;  or,  failing  beads  and  buttons,  from 
little  chips  of  crockery."  The  mother  of  one  little 
boy,  by  the  name  of  Jimmy,  sold  him  to  an  Eng' 
lish  captain  for  a  single  bright  button,  in  view 
of  which  the  captain  called  him  Jemmy  Button. 
In  ancient  Rome  women  became  so  extravagant 
in  providing  themselves  with  ornaments,  that  a 
law  was  enacted,  in  the  time  of  Caius  Oppius 
declaring  that  no  female  should  wear  more  than 
half  an  ounce  of  gold  for  ornament,  and  no  dress 
of  different  colors  in  the  city,  or  Nearer  to  the  city 
than  one  mile.  We  might  enumerate  many  more 
facts  of  this  kind,  were  it  necessary.  We  have 
adduced  enough,  however,  to  show  that  the  femMe 
sex  are  fond  of  ornamental  apparel. 

A  word  in  regard  to  the  same  subject  in  royal 
courts.  There  is  no  doubt  that  the  example  of 
kings  and  queens,  and  that  of  their  courtiers,  has 
influenced  inferior  ranks  of  people,  at  least  in 
Europe,  to  attach  undue  value  to  ornaments. 
Buckingham  wore  a  court  suit  that  cost  about 
$400,000 ;  Raleigh  had  a  pair  of  shoes  that  cost 
$30,000.  The  jewels  on  the  bridal  dress  of  Prin- 
cess Caroline  were  purchased  at  the  enormous  ex- 
pense of  $320,000.  The  furniture  of  their  draw- 


•  DRESS.  179 

ing-room  at  the  Carlton  House  cost  $100,000. 
When  the  Princess  Charlotte  was  married,  Parlia- 
ment voted  $300,000  outfit,  $300,000  annual  in- 
come, and  $50,000  for  the  private  purse  of  the 
princess.  The  annual  expense  of  the  royal  family 
of  England  is  computed  at  four  millions  of  dol- 
lars, and  not  a  small  part  of  it  is  expended  for  per- 
sonal adornments.  A  single  necklace  was  pre- 
sented to  Victoria's  daughter,  who  Avas  recently 
married,  valued  at  $21,000.  Queen  Elizabeth  was 
far  more  extravagant.  At  her  death,  three  thou- 
sand different  dresses  were  found  in  her  wardrobe. 
They  numbered  all  she  had  ever  possessed,  since 
she  would  never  part  with  one.  The  Empress 
Eugenie  of  France  had  fifty-eight  splendid  dresses 
made  previous  to  her  marriage.  Her  pocket  hand- 
kerchiefs cost  five  hundred  dollars  apiece.  She 
recently  appeared  at  a  ball,  wearing  jewels  worth 
$800,000,  with  flounces  of  lace  on  her  dress  that 
cost  $20,000. 

Such  is  the  example  set  by  the  crowned  heads 
of  Europe,  and  their  regal  families,  in  the  matter 
of  personal  decorations".  Yet,  their  extravagance 
is  no  greater,  in  proportion  to  their  means,  than 
what  we  behold  in  our  own  land,  and  among  our 
own  acquaintances.  A  friend  informed  the  author 
that  she  saw  a  lady  arrive  at  Saratoga  Springs, 
with  twenty -eight  trunks  for  her  baggage.  One  of 


180          THE  GOOD    GIRL    AND»TRUE    WOMAN. 

the  fashionable  women  in  Philadelphia  lost  her 
baggage,  and  the  advertisement  that  contained  a 
description  of  the  articles  of  apparel  and  jewelry, 
showed  that  her  wardrobe  and  incidentals  must 
have  cost  from^ve  to  ten  thousand  dollars., 

It  is  time  that  girls  were  instructed  as  to  the 
folly  and  sin  of  such  fondness  for  dress  and  orna- 
ments. How  much  more  becoming  to  female 
character  is  less  regard  for  ornament,  and  more 
for  mental  improvement  and  moral  worth !  Be- 
sides, this  love  of  costly  apparel  proves  a  snare  to 
the  soul,  so  that  a  heart  thus  wedded  to  display 
seldom  aspires  after  noble  things.  A  degree  of 
vanity  and  selfishness,  which  are  foes  to  womanly 
dignity  and  true  excellence,  is  usually  the  conse- 
quence. 

In  contrast  with  such  examples  of  vain  show, 
we  love  to  contemplate  the  reply  of  a  young  lady, 
in  one  of  the  leading  circles  at  Washington,  to  the 
compliment  of  a  gentleman  on  the  simplicity  and 
good  taste  of  her  dress :  "  I  am  glad  you  like  my 
dress  ;  it  cost  just  seven  dollars,  and  I  made  every 
stitch  of  it  myself. "  Or  the  still  better  example 
of  Frances  McLellan,  a  young  lady  of  rare  accom- 
plishments and  piety.  She  moved  in  wealthy  so- 
ciety, and  received  many  valuable  presents  of 
jewelry,  which  she  carefully  laid  away  in  a  drawer. 
When  asked  why  she  did  not  wear  them,  she  re- 


DRESS.  181 

.   • 

plied,  "I  can  look  at  them  in  my  bureau  as  well  as 
on  my  person,  and  I  do  not  think  they  are  becom- 
ing to  me."  Such  a  female  has  traits  of  character 
that  will  win  for  her  an  enviable  position  in  so- 
ciety. , 

The  Scriptures  have  somewhat  to  say  upon  tfeis 
subject,  and  their  counsels  should  be  heeded. 
"Whose  adorning  let  it  not  be  that  outward 
adorning  of  plaiting  the  hair,  and  of  wearing  of 
gold,  or  of  putting  on  of  apparel ;  but  let  it  be  the 
hidden  man  of  the  heart,  in  that  which  is  not  cor- 
ruptible, even  the  ornament  of  a  meek  and  quiet 
spirit,  which  is  in  the  sight  of  God  of  great 
price."  Rev.  Albert  Barnes  has  some  valuable 
comments  upon  this  passage,  which  set  forth  very 
clearly  what  is  duty  in  regard  to  dress;  and  we 
shall  bring  this  chapter  to  a  close  with  a  quota- 
tion therefrom :  —  "It  is  not  to  be  supposed  that 
all  use  of  gold  or  pearls  as  articles  of  dress  is 
here  forbidden ;  but  the  idea  is,  that  the  Christian 
female  is  not  to  seek  these  as  the  adorning  which 
she  desires,  or  is  not  to  imitate  the  world  in  these 
personal  decorations.  It  may  be  a  difficult  ques- 
tion to  settle  how  much  ornament  is  allowable, 
and  when  the  true  line  is  passed.  But  though  this 
cannot  be  settled  by  any  exact  rules,  since  much 
must  depend  on  age,  and  on  the  relative  rank  in 
life,  and  the  means  which  one  may  possess;  yet 
16 


182  THE    GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

there  is  one  general  rule,  which  is  applicable  to  all, 
and  which  might  regulate  all.  It  is,  that  the  true 
line  is  passed  when  more  is  thought  of  this  ex- 
ternal adorning  than  of  the  ornament  of  the  heart. 
Any  external  decoration  which  occupies  the  mind 
more  than  the  virtues  of  the  heart,  and  which  en- 
grosses the  time  and  attention  more,  we  may  be 
certain  is  wrong.  The  apparel  should  be  such 
as  not  to  attract  attention;  such  as  becomes 
our  situation;  such  as  will  not  be  particularly 
singular;  such  as  shall  leave  the  impression 
that  the  heart  is  not  fixed  on  it.  It  is  a  poor 
ambition  to  decorate  a  dying  body  with  gold  and 
pearls.  It  should  not  be  forgotten  that  the  body 
thus  adorned  will  soon  need  other  habiliments, 
and  will  occupy  a  position  where  gold  and  pearls 
would  be  a  mockery.  When  the  heart  is  right, 
when  there  is  true  and  supreme  love  for  religion, 
it  is  usually  not  difficult  to  regulate  the  subject  of 
dress." 

"  God  looks  not  at  the  clothing  which  we  wear; 

All  must  put  off  their  garments  at  the  tomb ; 

The  same  sun  shines  on  all ;  the  same  sweet  air 

Lifteth  the  beggar's  locks,  the  lady's  plume  I 

"  A.  monument  of  costly  marble  shows 

The  place  where  sleeps  the  lady  fair  at  last; 
But  in  a  nameless  grave,  in  calm  repose, 
Unknown,  unloved,  the  beggar's  form  is  cast. 


DRESS.  183 

"Lone  spot!— yet  all  the  lady's  gems  and  gold 

Were  vain  to  buy  an  epitaph  more  fair 
Than  that,  by  God's  own  hand  each  spring  unrolled, 
In  flowery  language  'bove  the  sleeper  there! " 


4 


CHAPTER  XVI. 


A   LADY. 


LADY,  AN  ABUSED^TERM —  THE  GAY  AND  FOOLISH  CLAIM  IT  — 
SOME  APPLY  IT  TO  FEMALES  INDISCRIMINATELY  — WHO  18  A 
LADY?  — GIRLS  THINK  SOME  NEEDFUL  LABOR  IS  NOT  LADY- 
LIKE—  GENTEEL  TO  BE  IGNORANT  OF  HOUSEWORK — THE  WO- 
MAN WHOSE  PASTOR  CALLED  TO  SEE  HER  —  SOME  YOUNG 
LADIES  NEVER  SEEN  IN  KITCHEN-GARB  —  MAN  WHO  MARRIED 
A  BEAUTY,  AS  RELATED  BY  ARTHUR  —  WAS  SHE  MORE  LADY- 
LIKE FOR  NOT  KNOWING  HOW  TO  COOK  A  DINNER? — ALEXAN- 
DER'S SISTERS  —  CAESAR'S  WIFE  —  THE  WIFE  OF  COLLATINUS  — 
OF  TARQUIN — MADAME  ROLAND  —  MRS.  WASHINGTON  AND  VIS- 
IT OF  LAFAYETTE — THE  WIFE  OF  GENERAL  WASHINGTON  — 
VISIT  AND  CONFESSION  OF  MRS.  TROUPE  —  WIFE  OF  GOVERNOR 
CRITTENDEN  —  ALL  THESE  WERE  LADIES,  YET  PERFORMED 
HOUSEWORK  —  MARY  LYON  A  MODEL  *—  HER  WORDS  AND  PRAC- 
TICE—  LIKE  SOLOMON'S  TRUE  LADY — A  GIRL'S  EDUCATION  DE- 
FECTIVE WITHOUT  KNOWLEDGE  OF  HOUSEWORK  —  KING  JAMES 
AND  THE  LITERARY  GIRL  —  LINES  OF  MONTGOMERY. 


MUCH  of  the  feminine  folly  exposed  in  the 
foregoing  pages  is  perpetrated  for  the  sake  of 
being  a  LADY.  Many  women  have  very  errone-  , 
ous  ideas  of  what  constitutes  a  lady.  In  conse- 
quence, this  term  is  one  of  the  most  abused  words 
in  the  English  language.  It  is  applied  by  many 
only  to  those  females  who  are  enabled,  by  rank'and 


A    LADY.  185 

affluence,  to  maintain  a  certain  style  of  living, 
including  the  gayety  and  affectation  of  the  most 
aristocratic  display.  Those  "who  can  set  up  some 
pretensions  to  honorable  birth,  and  who  pride  them- 
eelves  upon  their  manners  and  dress,  take  to  them- 
selves this  amiable  title,  while  they  withhold  it 
from  their  sex  of  humbler  condition,  though 
superior  intelligence  and  goodness  may  belong  to 
the  latter.  There  is  also  a  popular  use  of  this 
term,  which  applies  it  to  the  female  sex  generally, 
without  regard  to  the  qualities  of  mind  or  heart  — 
a  use  of  the  word  which  is  well  nigh  as  exception- 
able as  that  just  noticed. 

Despite  such  uses  of  this  graceful  appellation, 
we  consider  that  a  female  may  be  a  true  lady  irre- 
spective of  rank  or  fortune ;  and  that  only  those 
are  worthy  of  the  name  who  possess  refinement 
and  taste,  propriety,  and  grace  of  expression  and 
manners,  and  proper  regard  for  the  rights  and  feel- 
ings of  others,  together  with  those  noble  virtues 
of  the  heart  which  qualify  them  for  diffusing  a 
kind  and  genial  influence  through  the  social  life, 
elevating  thereby  the  lowly,  and  blessing  the  un- 
fortunate and  distressed. 

It  is  not  necessary,  therefore,  to  go  to  Vanity 

Fair  in  order  to  be  a  lady.     Nor  is  it  necessary  to 

be  rich  and  fashionable,  nor  to  be  able  to  make 

display  of  jewelry  and  apparel,  to  be  one.    With- 

16* 


186          THE    GOOD   GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

out  any  such  ability,  a  girl  may  become  a  lady  in 
the  humblest  walks  of  life. 

There  is  one  error  very  generally  held  by  girls, 
on  this  subject,  which  deserves  particular  atten- 
tion. It  is  the  idea  that  certain  kinds  of  labor  are 
inconsistent  with  a  lady-like  bearing,  particularly 
house-work.  Hence,  even  girls  who  are  obliged  to 
toil  for  a  livelihood  endeavor  to  be  very  ignorant 
of  domestic  duties.  In  their  view,  it  is  rather 
dishonorable  to  know  how  to  bake  a  loaf  of  bread, 
or  make  a  pie,  or  darn  a  stocking.  They  are  per- 
fectly willing  that  their  mothers  should  be  in  the 
kitchen  from  morning  till  night,  but  it  is  not  the 
place  for  girls,  they  think.  They  glory  in  the 
reputation  of  not  knowing  how  to  perform  the 
most  indispensable  part  of  house-work.  And  the 
same  is  true  of  many  wives  and  mothers,  whose 
girlhood  was  developed  under  the  influence  of 
fashionable  training.  They  would  be  quite  morti- 
fied to  be  caught  in  the  kitchen  cooking  or  wash- 
ing. Mr.  Wise  gives  an  illustration  of  this  foolish 
aristocracy,  as  follows : 

"  Permit  me  to  lead  you  into  the  sitting-room  of 
a  respectable  and  pious  lady.  She  is  neatly  but 
plainly  attired,  and  is  busy,  with  the  aid  of  a  ser- 
vant, dusting  and  cleaning  the  room.  The  door- 
bell rings,  and  the  girl  hastens  to  see  who  is  the 
-visitor.  She  finds  the  lady's  pastor  at  the  door, 


A    LADY.     j^.  ,  187 

and,  without  ceremony,  ushers  him  into  the  sitting- 
room.  The  lady's  face  is  suffused  with  blushes, 
as  she  confusedly  lays  aside  her  dusting-brush, 
and  offers  her  hand  to  the  minister,  saying,  '  Sir,  I 
am  ashamed  you  should  find  me  thus.' 

'  "  Let  Christ,  when  he  cometh,  find  nie  so  doing," 
replies*  her  pastor. 

"'What,  sir!  do  you  wish  to  be  found  in  this 
employment?'  earnestly  inquires  the  astonished 
lady. 

" '  Yes,  madam,  I  wish  to  be  found  faithfully  per- 
forming the  duties  of  my  mission,  as  I  have  fou»4 
you  fulfilling  yours.' " 

This  was  a  just  rebuke  of  the  woman's  pride. 
There  are  Such  females  in  the  Church  of  Christ, 
strange  as  it  may  seem.  How  they  can  reconcile 
their  ignoble  ideas  of  useful  employment  with  the 
principles  and  precepts  of  Christianity,  it  is  diffi- 
cult to  see.  It  is  probable  that  they  are  more  com- 
pletely under  the  control  of  the  laws  of  fashion7 
than  the  laws  of  religion. 

We  have  noticed  that  some  young  ladies  are 
never  found  engaged  in  domestic  labor.  Call  at 
their  homes  at  any  time  of  day,  and  you  do  not 
find  them  performing  house-work.  They  are  fre- 
quently found  embroidering,  making  a  lace  collar, 
practising  on  the  piano,  or  doing  nothing.  We 
infer  that  they  seldom  or  ever  attend  to  domestic 


188     THE  GOOD  GIRL  AND  TRUE  WOMAX. 

labors,  or  else  that  they  suddenly  quit  the  kitchen 
when  the  door-bell  rings,  lest  they  should  be 
caught  with  a  broom  or  rolling-pin  in  their  hands. 
It  is  well  known  that  many  young  ladies  detain 
visitors  a  half  hour  in  the  parlor,  before  they 
emerge  from  their  chambers,  arrayed  like  Paris 
dolls.  No  person  out  of  the  families  ever  saw 
them  in  a  kitchen-garb.  The  principal  reason  is, 
they  think  it  is  not  lady-like. 

We  think,  however,  that  our  young  readers, 
upon  reflection,  will  conclude,  that  a  knowledge 
of  household  duties,  even  though  a  person  may 
not  have  occasion  to  use  it  much,  is  more  consist- 
ent with  the  character  of  the  true  lady,  than  the 
opposite.  We  do  not  say  that  every  female  ought 
to  perform  the  house-work  in  her  family.  We 
would  not  have  it  so  if  we  could.  Many  affluent 
ones  are  not  required  to  do  it.  But  we  say  that 
no  woman  is  qualified  to-  be  at  the  head  of  a 
family  unless  she  knows  how  the  family  work 
should  be  done.  Take  the  following  fact,  as  re- 
lated by  Mr.  Arthur : 

"  A  friend  of  ours,  remarkable  for  his  strong 
good  sense,  married  a  very  accomplished  and 
fashionable  young  lady,  attracted  more  by  her 
beauty  and  accomplishments  than  by  anything 
else.  In  this,  it  must  be  owned  that  his  strong 
good  sense  did  not  seern  very  apparent.  His  wife 


A    LADY.  189 

• 

however,  proved  to  be  a  very  excellent  companion, 
and  was  deeply  attached  to  him,  though  she  still 
loved  company,  and  spent  more  time  abroad  than 
he  exactly  approved.  But,  as  his  income  was 
good,  and  his  house  furnished  with  a  good  supply 
of  domestics,  he  was  not  aware  of  any  abridg- 
ment of  comfort  on  this  account,  and  he  therefore 
made  no  objection  to  it. 

**  One  day,  some  few  months  after  his  marringe, 
our  friend,  on  coming  home  to  dinner,  saw  no  ap- 
pearance of  his  usual  meal,  but  found  his  wife  in 
great  trouble  instead. 

" '  Wtjat  is  the  matter  ? '  he  asked. 

" '  Nancy  went  off  at  ten  o'clock  this  morning,' 
replied  his  wife,  '  and  the  chamber-maid  knows  no 
more  about  cooking  a  dinner  than  the  man  in  the 
moon.' 

"'Couldn't  she  have  done  it  under  your  direc- 
tion ? '  inquired  the  husband,  very  coolly. 

"  '  Under  \ny  direction !  Goodness  !  I  should  like 
to  see  a  dinner  cooked  .under  my  direction  ! ' 

" '  Why  so  ?  '  asked  the  husband,  in  surprise. 
'You  certainly  do  not  mean  that  you  cannot 

cook  a  dinner.' 

* 

"'I  certainly  do,  then,'  replied  his  wife.  'How 
should  I  know  anything  about  cooking  ? ' 

"  The  husband  was  silent,  but  his  look  of 
astonishment  perplexed  and  worried  his  wife. 


190          THE    GOOD  GIRL   AND   TRUE    WOMAN. 

"'You  look  very  much  surprised,'  she 'said, 
after  a  moment  or  two  had  elapsed. 

"'And  so  I  am,'  he  answered,  —  'as  much  sur- 
prised as  I  should  be  at  finding  the  captain  of  one 
of  my  ships  unacquainted  with  navigation.  Don't 
know  how  to  cook,  and  the  mistress  of  a  family ! 
Jane,  if  there  is  a  cooking-school  any  where  in 
the  city,  go  to  it  and  complete  your  education ;  for 
it  is  deficient  in  a  very  important  particular.'  " 

"We  need  not  speak  of  the  result,  except  to  say' 
that  it  was  good.  But  we  ask  the  reader  if  this 
young  wife  was  more  of  a  lady  for  not  knowing 
how  to  cook  a  dinner  ?  Would  it  not  have  been 
far  more  commendable  in  her  to  have  been  able  to 
cook  at  such  a  time  of  necessity?  We  know 
that  the  reader  will  say,  yes.  If  it  is  a  woman's 
mission  to  be  mistress  of  the  family,  then  it  is  her 
business  to  know  how  to  wash,  and  cook,  and  sew. 
Is  a  captain  qualified  to  guide  a  ship,  if  he  is  igno- 
rant of  navigation  ?  Is  a  man  prepared  to  manage 
a  large  mercantile  establishment,  if  he  has  not 
learned  the  merchant's  business  ?  Would  a  Col- 
lege Faculty  welcome  a  man  to  the  Professorship 
of  Greek^  who  had  never  studied  it  ?  Is  a  woman 
who  has  never  known  how  to  manufacture  straw- 
bonnets,  fit  to  oversee  a  straw  manufactory? 
Then,  what  shall  we  say  of  the  female  who  occu- 
pies the  place  of  mistress  of  the  family  without 


A  l-ADY.  191 

knowing  how  the  work  thereof  should  be  done  ? 
We  say  it  is  a  dishonor  to  her.  She  is  less  a  lady 
for  this  inexcusable  ignorance. 

In  the  days  of  Alexander  and  Caesar,  it  was  con- 
sidered ho'norable  for  females  to  understand  how  to 
discharge  domestic  duties.  The  former  wore  an 
imperial  suit  that  was  wrought  by  the  hands  of  his 
sisters.  The  latter  proudly  exhibited  his  costly 
robes  and  girdle,  that  were  manufactured  partly  by 
his  wife,  and  wholly  under  her  direction.  Colla- 
tinus  once  boasted  of  the  domestic  qualities  of  his 
wife  to  several  princes  with  whom  he  was  banquet- 
ing, and  finally  he  laid  a  wager,  that  an  unexpected 
visit  would  find  her  busily  employed  with  her  do- 
mestics. The  visit  was  made,  late  at  night,  and 
the  lady  Lucretia,  renowned  in  Roman  history, 
was  found  spinning,-  in  company  with  her  maids. 
Long  after  the  death  of  the  wife  of  Tarquin,  her 
spinning  implements,  and  a  robe  of  her  manufac- 
ture, were  hung  up  in  the  Temple  of  Fortune,  as  a 
memorial  of  her  domestic  virtues. 

So  has  it  been  since  that  day.  Madame  Roland 
could  prepare  her  husband's  meals  with  her  own 
hands,  by  day,  and  at  night  delight  the  most  liter- 
ary company  of  France  by  her  brilliant  powers. 
Mrs.  Washington,  the  mother  of  the  General,  al- 
ways attended  to  her  domestic  affairs,  even  in  the 
presence  of  the  most  distinguished  guests.  La- 


192          THE    GOOD   GIRL    AN»    TRUK    WOMAN. 

fayette  paid  .her  a  visit  before  his  departure  for 
Europe,  in  the  fall  of  1784.  He  was  conducted 
to  her  mansion  by  one  of  her  grandsons.  "  There, 
sir,  is  my  grandmother,"  said  he,  as  they  ap- 
proached the  house.  Lafayette  looked  up,  and 
saw  her  at  work  in  the  garden,  "  clad  in  domes- 
tic-made clothes,  and  her  gray  head  covered  with 
a  plain  straw  hat,  the  mother  of  his  hero."  She 
gave  Lafayette  a  cordial  welcome,  observing, — 
"Ah,  Marquis !  you  see  an  old  woman  — but,  come, 
I  can  make  you  welcome  to  my  poor  dwelling 
without  the  parade  of  changing  my  dress."  Mrs. 
Martha  Washington,  the  wife  of  the  General,  was 
no  less  distinguished  for  her  management  of  house- 
hold affairs.  She  was  "  a  good  seamstress,  a  good 
cook,  and  a  good  mother."  She  understood  every 
department  of  domestic  labor,  and  was  ever  ready 
to  do  what  circumstances  required.  Mrs.  Troupe, 
the  accomplished  wife  of  a  captain  of  the  British 
navy,  once  visited  her,  and  she  gave  the  following 
account  of  Mrs.  Washington's  appearance : 

"Well,  I  will  honestly  tell  you  I  never  was  so 

ashamed  in  all  my  life.     You  see  Madame , 

and  Madame ,  and  myself,  thought  we  would 

visit  lady  Washington ;  and  as  she  was  said  to  be 
so  grand  a  lady,  we  thought  we  must  put  on  our 
best  bibs  and  bands.  So  we  dressed  ourselves  in 
our  most  elegant  ruffles,  and  silks,  and  were  intro- 


•    A  I.ADY.  193 

duced  to  her  ladyship.  And,  don't  you  think,  we 
found  her  knitting,  and  with  a  check  apron  on! 
She  received  us  very  graciously  and  easily,  but 
after  the  compliments  were  over,  she  resumed 
her  knitting.  There  we  were,  without  a  stitch  of 
work,  and  sitting  in  state ;  but  General  Washing- 
ton's lady  with  her  own  hands  was  knitting  stock- 
ings for  herself  and  husband."  Noble  example  for  a 
woman  of  high  position  to  set !  In  such  circum- 
stances, her  checked  apron  was  more  ornamental 
than  the  "  ruffles  "  and  "  silks  "  of  her  fair  visitors, 
and  her  knitting-needles  more  becoming  decora- 
tions than  a  profusion  of  jewelry. 

A  good  story  is  told  of  Mrs.  Crittenden,  wife  of 
the  first  Governor  of  Vermont.  Some  gentlemen, 
with  their  wives,  from  Albany,  called  upon  the 
Governor  one  day,  to  dine.  When  dinner  was 
ready,  Mrs.  Crittenden  summoned  the  work/nen, 
and  all  sat  down  together.  The  visitors  were  very 
aristocratic,  and  one  of  the  females  said  to  Mrs. 
Crittenden,  after  retiring  from  the  table :  "  You  do 
not  usually  have  your  hired  laborers  sit  down  at 
the  first  table,  do  you  ?  "  —  "  Why,  yes,  madam," 
replied  Mrs.  Crittenden ;  "  we  have  thus  far  done 
so,  but  are  now  thinking  of  making  a  different 
arrangement.  The  Governor  and  myself  have 
been  talking  the  matter  oi&er  a  little,  lately,  and 
come  to  the  conclusion  that  the  men,  who  do 
17 


194          THE    GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

nearly  all  the  hard  work,  ought  to  have  the  first 
table  ;  and  that  he  and  I,  who  c.o  so  little,  should 
be  content  with  the  second.  Eut,  in  compliment 
to  you,  I  thought  I  would  have  you  sit  down  with 
them  to-day  at  the  first  table" 

We  will  not  multiply  illustrations,  though  we 
might  add  the  example  of  many  more  eminent 
females.  What  is  there  in  the  domestic  habits  of 
the  women  enumerated  inconsistent  with  being  a 
lady?  Was  it  disgraceful  to  those  distinguished 
persons  to  be  found  attending  to  house-work  ?  Not 
in  the  least.  Why,  then,  is  it  dishonorable  for  fe- 
males to  follow  such  illustrious  examples?  No 
young  lady  need  fear  to  follow  in  the  steps  of  Mrs. 
Washington.  She  will  not  have  less  character  for 
so  doing.  She  will  be  a  more  accomplished  lady. 

Mary  Lyon  was  a  true  lady,  after  the  pattern  of 
theJRoman  Lucretia  and  Mrs.  Washington.  It 
was  not  unladylike,  in  her  estimation,  to  know  how 
to  prosecute  any  useful  work.  The  school  in 
which  she  was  reared  from 'infancy  was  much  like 
that  in  which  Martha  Washington  was  trained. 
We  have  seen  that  she  labored  with  her  own 
hands,  spinning,  sewing,  and  doing  the  entire 
work  of  a  farm-house.  In  1827  and  1828  she 
wore  a  "blue  fulled  cloth  habit,"  at  Deny 
and  Ipswich  Academies,  which  she  spun  and 
wove  herself.  She  once  wrote,  "Let  a  young 


A    LADY.  195 

lady  despise  household  duties,  and  she  despises  the 
appointments  of  the  Author  of  her  existence. 
The  laws  of  God,  made  known  by  nature  and  by 
Providence,  and  also  by  the  Bible,  enjoin  these 
duties  on  the  sex,  and  she  cannot  violate  them 
with  impunity.  Let  her  have  occasion  to  preside 
at  the  head  of  her  own  family  and  table,  and  she 
may  despair  of  enjoying  herself,  or  of  giving  to 
others  the  highest  degree  of  domestic  happiness." 
The  Mount  Holyoke  Seminary  was  conducted 
upon  the  principle  of  making  girls  familiar  with 
family  work.  On  the  whole,  Miss  Lyon,  in  her 
domestic  habits,  intelligence,  dignity,  and  good- 
ness, reminds  us  of  Solomon's  description  of  a  true 
lady :  "  She  seeketh  wool  and  flax,  and  worketh 
willingly  with  her  hands.  She  layeth  her  hands 
to  the  spindle,  and  her  hands  hold  the  distaff.  She 
stretcheth  out  her  hands  to  the  poor ;  yea,  she 
reacheth  forth  her  hands  to  the  needy.  Strength 
and  honor  are  her  clothing;  and  she  shall  rejoice 
in  time  to  come.  She  openeth  her  mouth  with 
wisdom ;  and  in  her  tongue  is  the  law  of  kindness. 
She  looketh  well  to  the  ways  of  her  household, 
and  eateth  not  the  bread  of  idleness.  Her  child- 
ren rise  up  and  call  her  blessed ;  her  husband,  also, 
and  he  praiseth  her." 

No  girl  can  become  a  true  lady  without  knowl- 
edge of  household  duties.     Whatever  may  be  her 


196         THE  GOOD    GIRL   AND    TRUE   WOMAN. 

literary  proficiency,  and  her  social  qualities,  with- 
out the  ability  to  do  housework,  if  necessity  de- 
mand, her  education  is  defective.  A  young  girl 
was  presented  to  James  I.  as  a  prodigy  in  literary 
attainments.  The  person  who  introduced  her 
boasted  that  she  understood  the  ancient  languages. 
"I  can  assure  your  Majesty,"  said  he,  "that  she 
can  both  speak  and  write  Latin,  Greek,  and  He- 
brew." "These  are  rare  attainments  for  a  dam- 
sel," said  James;  "but,  pray  tell  me,  can  she 
spin?"  She  might  be  familiar  with  the  lore  of 
ages,  but  without  a  knowledge  of  household  duties, 
she  lacked  an  important  acquisition.  So  we  ask 
of  the  richly  attired  and  accomplished  young 
woman,  who  can  read  French,  thrum  the  piano, 
and  move  bewitchingly  in  fashionable  company, 
can  she  do  housework  ?  If  she  cannot,  she  is  not 
a  model  lady. 

"  There  is  a  spot  of  earth  supremely  blest, 
A  dearer,  sweeter  spot  than  all  the  rest ; 
Here  woman  reigns ;  the  mother,  daughter,  wife, 
Strews  with  fresh  flowers  the  narrow  way  of  life : 
Around  her  knees  domestic  duties  meet, 
And  fireside  pleasures  gambol  at  her  feet." 

Montgomery. 


a 


CHAPTER   XVII. 

A   BEAUTIFUL   FACE. 

LITERARY  WOMEN  HOMELY — BEAUTIFUL  FEMALES  VAIN  —  HYPA- 
TIA — ANNA  COMNENA  —  MADAM  DE  8TAEL — MADAM  NECKER, 
MARY  LYON,  AND  JOHN  WILKES  —  LATTER  TALK  AWAY  HOME- 
LINESS IN  FIVE  MINUTES  —  BEAUTY  HAS  ITS  PLACE  —  BEAUTY- 
WORSHIP  TO  BE  CONDEMNED — GIRLS  WHO  ADORE  IT  UNFIT 
FOR  NOBLE  THINGS — THE  YOUNG  LADY  WITH  SMALL-POX  — 
QUEEN  ELIZABETH  HAD  MIRRORS  REMOVED  —  A  USELESS 
BELLE  —  LIKE  JAPANESE  FEMALES  AND  THOSE  OF  GREEN- 
LAND—  A  FATHER'S  COUNSEL  TO  A  HANDSOME  sou  AND  HOME- 
LY'DAUGHTER — SHOULD  BE  HEEDED. 

MAKY  LYOJT  had  not  personal  beauty ;  and  it  is 
often  the  case,  we  believe,  that  literary  women  are 
not  beautiful.  For  some  reason  God  does  not  see 
fit  to  unite  great  beauty  and  extraordinary  intel- 
lect, except  in  certain  rare  instances.  Perhaps  a 
beautiful  face  wquld  render  the  possessor  so  vain 
that  the  discipline  of  the  mind  would  be  neg- 
lected. It  is  certain  that  many  females  of  great 
beauty  are  light  and  vain,  and  consequently  have 
little  disposition  to  attend  to  the  solid  parts  of  an 
education.  Therefore  God  may  be  pleased  to 
spare  literary  womeji  the  trying  ordeal  of  beauty, 
that  the  intellect  may  be  highly  cultivated.  Hy- 
17* 


108  THE   GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

patia,  the  daughter  of  Pheon,  known  by  her  prom- 
inent connection  with  the  Alexandrian  school,  and 
by  her  world-wide  fame  for  learning  and  wisdom, 
was  a  brilliant  exception  to  the  rule.  So  also  was 
Anna  Comnena,  who  wrote  the  Alexiad,  and  shone 
conspicuously  in  Grecian  literature.  Both  were 
celebrated  for  their  beauty.  Madame  De  Stael 
and  Madame  Necker,  on  the  other  hand,  were 
destitute  of  it.  Mary  Lyon  ranked  well  with  the 
latter  in  this  respect,  yet  she  won  the  admiration 
of  all  sensible  people.  Like  John  Wilkes,  who 
was  as  homely  as  he  was  popular,  it  took  her  but 
"  five  minutes  to  talk  away  her  face."  No  one  could 
be  long  in  her  society  without  being  impressed 
with  the  inferiority  of  beauty  to  some  other  quali- 
ties. And  this  fact  indicates  the  relative  value  of 
a  beautiful  face.  We  would  not  be  so  foolish  as 
to  pronounce  it  not  worth  possessing,  for  this 
would  be  to  despise  the  work  of  God.  If  we  look 
around  us  in  the  face  of  nature,  we  are  struck  with 
the  beauty  that  is  everywhere  displayed.  With 
almost  lavish  hand,  God  has  added  this  quality  to 
the  countless  objects  of  creation.  From  the  blush- 
ing flower  that  perfumes  the  lowly  vale,  to  the 
bright  star  that  sparkles  in  night's  diadem,  it  ap- 
pears. It  is  no  valueless  thing  that  God  so  honors. 
He  who  would  disparage  beauty  has  not  been 
charmed  by  it  in  the  works  of  nature. 


A   BEAUTIFUL    FACE.  199 

Female  beauty  does  attract  the  eye  of  be- 
holders. By  general  consent,  a  beautiful  woman 
is  the  noblest  work  of  God.  It  is  only  when 
beauty  is  found  in  conjunction  with  pride  and 
vanity,  ignorance  and  boldness,  or  suspected  or 
known  impurity,  that  it  ceases  to  attract,  and  be- 
comes an  evil.  That  beauty-worship  which  is  so 
prevalent  among  both  sexes,  leading  females  to  re- 
sort to  various  measures  for  producing  a  fair  face, 
and  inducing  males  ^to  choose  wives  for  beauty 
alone,  is  highly  censurable.  It  is  the  occasion  of 
incalculable  misery  to  the  human  family.  A  girl 
who  is  proud  of  a  pretty  face  is  almost  sure  to 
resort  to  those  disgusting  vanities  of  life  which 
disqualify  her  for  anything  noble.  We  have  read 
of  a  young  lady  who  was  attacked  by  that  loath- 
some disease  the  small-pox.  She  had  a  beautiful 
face,  of  which  she  was  extremely  proud,  as  was 
also  her  mother.  The  only  regret  either  of  them 
was  heard  to  utter  was,  that  it  would  destroy  her 
beauty.  Even  when  the  disease  had  become  so 
violent  as  to  render  her  recovery  doubtful,  no 
anxiety  was  manifested  for  the  welfare  of  her 
soul,  but  much  solicitude  was  expressed  for  her 
personal  beauty.  Inexorable  death  put  a  period 
to  the  scene,  and  her  charms  perished  in  the  grave. 
What  strange  infatuation  is  this !  And  yet  there 
are  multitudes  thus  vain  of  a  handsome  face. 


200          THB.  0OOD   GIKL    AND   TRUE    WOMAN. 

Neither  are  they  found  among  young  girls  alone, 
for  many  females  of  rank  and  age  have  been  so 
weak.  It  is  said  that  Queen  Elizabeth,  with  all 
her  learning,  was  very  much  troubled  on  account 
of  her  homely  face.  At  one  time  she  became  so 
nervous  and  mortified  by  looking  into  the  mirrors, 
that  she  ordered  her  maids  of  honor  to  remove 
them,  and  for  a  long  period  she  did  not  look  into 
a  glass.  Once  she  issued  a  proclamation,  ordering 
all  portraits  of  herself  to  be  destroyed,  and  forbid- 
ing  artists,  save  "  especial  cunning  painters  (flat- 
terers) to  draw  her  likeness."  This  is  an  extreme 
case,  we  grant,  but  it  nevertheless  illustrates  the 
foolishness  of  some  females  in  regard  to  an  attrac- 
tive face. 

Beauty  is  never  of  particular  value  to  a  girl,  in 
performing  her  mission,  except  when  it  is  held 
subordinate  to  other  more  substantial  qualities. 
A  mere  belle,  however  beautiful  she  may  be,  pos- 
sessing no  higher  qualities  than  commonly  belong 
to  this  class,  does  not  leave  the  world  better  than 
she  found  it.  Her  aim  is  akin  to  that  of  Arabian 
females,  who  paint  their  eyebrows  black,  and  their 
lips  blue ;  or  those  of  Greenland,  who  color  their 
cheeks  blue  and  yellow;  or  the  ladies  of  Japan, 
who  gild  their  teeth  and  pluck  their  eyebrows 
in  order  to  appear  beautiful.  We  admire  a  Green- 
land lady  painting  her  cheeks  yellow,  as  much  as 


m  ,  A   BEAUTIFUL    FACE.  20X 

an  American  belle  painting  hers  vermilion.  The 
aim  of  both  is  the  same ;  and  their  influence  is  not 
very  dissimilar.  The  case  is  still  worse  with  the 
coquette,  whose  purity  of  heart  is  always  to  be 
suspected.  If  she  possesses  charms  of  counten- 
ance sufficient  to  win  admirers,  she  becomes  a 
character  to  be  shunned.  Girls  should  never  sac- 
rifice their  modesty  by  making  their  beauty  the 
occasion  of  a  belle's  folly  or  a  coquette's  sin. 

The  counsel  of  a  certain  father  to  his  son  and 
daughter,  the  former  of  whom  was  handsome,  and 
the  latter  very  plain,  presents  this  subject  in  a 
pleasant  light.  The  son  boasted  of  his  beauty 
in  the  presence  of  his  sister,  who  construed  his 
words  into  a  reflection  upon  her  plainness,  and 
entered  complaint  against  him  to  her  father.  The 
father  called  them  both  aside,  and  counselled  them 
as  follows :  "  I  would  have  you  both  look  in  the 
glass  every  day;  you,  my  son,  that  you  may  be 
reminded  never  to  dishonor  the  beauty  of  your 
face. by  the  deformity  of  your  actions;  and  you, 
my  daughter,  that  you  may  take  care  to  hide  the 
plainness  of  your  person  by  the  superior  lustre 
of  your  virtuous  and  amiable  conduct." 

We  would  impress  the  excellent  counsel  of  this 
father  upon  the  reader's  mind.  If  God  has  given 
you  a  beautiful  face,  express  your  gratitude  by 
cultivating  the  purest  graces  of  the  heart;  for 


202  THE    GOOD   GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAlf.. 

personal  beauty  is  far  more  attactive  when  exalted 
virtue  accompanies  it.  On  the  other  hand,  if  this 
gift  of  nature  is  not  yours,  it  is  more  necessary 
that  mental  and  moral  acquisitions  should  be 
made,  that  you  may  be  agreeable  and  admired. 

But,  after  all  that  can  be  said  in  favor  of  a 
Beautiful  Face,  it  must  be  conceded  that  a  Beau- 
tiful Soul,  which  is  the  subject  of  the  next  chap- 
ter, is  a  far  higher  acquisition. 


CHAPTER     XVIII. 


A   BEAUTIFUL    SOUL. 


MART  LYON'S  HEART-QUALITIES  —  HER  SYMPATHY  AND  BENEVO- 
LENCE —  AIDED  HER  GIRLS  IN  GETTING  EDUCATION  —  THE  COL- 
LEGE STUDENT  —  HER  TEACHINGS  ON  BENEVOLENCE  — 0THE 
GIRL'S  SPENDING-MONEY  —  THE  FARM  IN  NEW  YORK  —  BENEVO- 
LENCE OF  GOSPEL  HER  CONTROLLING  PRINCIPLE  —  FLORENCE 
SIGHTING  ALE  IN  THE  CRIMEAN  WAR — EDUCATED  BY  HER  PA- 
RENTS IN  BENEVOLENCE  —  WIFE  OF  JOHN  HOWARD — A  LADY'S 
PAINTINGS  GIVEN  TO  CHARITY — QUEEN  ANNE  BOLEYN  —  TWO 
BISTERS  WHO  EARNED  ONE  HUNDRED  DOLLARS  FOR  MISS  LYON  — 
DORCAS  —  ALL  HAD  BEAUTIFUL  SOULS  —  ORNAMENTS  OF  THE 
SPIRIT  —  WAYS  OF  DOING  GOOD  —  RELIEVING  THE  POOR  —  IN 
SABBATH  SCHOOL  —  THE  SEWING  CIRCLE  —  TEMPERANCE  CAUSE  — 
MISSIONARY  WORK  —  SUCH  EFFORTS  WIN  CONFIDENCE  —  THH 
HERMIT  AND  HIS  WELL. 


ALTHOUGH  Mary  Lyon  had  a  homely  face, 
yet  she  had  a  BEAUTIFUL  SOUL.  She  possessed 
those  fine  heart-qualities  which  are  a  richer  orna- 
ment to  female  character  than  beauty  or  jewels. 
"We  have  spoken  hitherto  of  some  of  these  quali- 
ties, and  need  not  refer  to  them  again.  We  refer 
now  to  that  sympathy  with  the  suffering  and 
needy;  that  ever-living  kindness  and  generosity; 
that  desire  to  do  good,  and  to  make  others  happy; 
in  a  word,  that  spirit  of  true  benevolence,  that 


204          THE    GOOD   GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

was  the  motive-power  of  .her  self-denying  efforts. 
InNthis  regard,  few  were  her  equals  —  none  her 
superiors. 

Her  own  struggles  for  an  education  made  her 
understand  the  struggles  of  others  in  like  circum- 
stances, so  that  she  deeply  sympathized  with  them. 
Many  poor  girls  were  aided  from  her  own  purse. 
One  day  a  young  man,  who  was  making  an  effort 
to  get  through  college,  defraying  his  own  ex- 
penses, called  upon  her  for  acquaintance  or  rela- 
tion -sake,  and,  ds  he  was  leaving,  she  slipped  a 
five-dollar  bill  into  his  hand,  remarking,  at  the 
same  time,  "that  he  would  need  it  in  paying  his 
college  bills."  This  is  only  one  of  many  similar 
instances,  where  the  kindness  and  generosity  of 
her  heart  appeared.  Self-denial  was  a  pleasure 
to  her;  and  she  was  accustomed  to  impress  the 
duty  of  practising  it  upon  her  pupils.  She  would 
often  say,  "  Some  people  think  that  no  one  is  any 
poorer  for  giving  to  the  Lord.  If  they  mean 
poorer  in  a  spiritual  point  of  view,  I  agree  with 
them,  but  not  when  they  say  poorer  in  property ; 
for  I  do  believe  the  Christian  ought  to  give  to 
the  Lord,  so  as  really  to  feel  the  need  of  what 
he  gives  —  a  precious  reward  to  suffer  for  Christ." 
When  she  commenced  her  collections  in  Ipswich, 
in  behalf  of  the  new  Female  Seminary,  she  would 
say  to  the  females  of  whom  she  solicited  aid,  "  If 


A    BEAUTIFUL    SOUL.  205 

you  wanted  a  new  shawl  or  bonnet,  or  a  new 
carpet,  would  you  not  contrive  to  get  it  in  some 
way?"  When  the  subject  of  adding  a  new  arti- 
cle to  her  wardrobe  came  up,  she  always  asked, 
"What  is  duty?"  "  Can  I  do  without  it?"  When 
her  labors  commenced  in  behalf  of  the  new  Sem- 
inary, she  had  some  twelve  or  fifteen  hundred 
dollars  of  her  own,  all  of  which  she  spent  in  pros- 
ecuting the  enterprise.  And  when  the  teachers' 
salaries  at  Holyoke  were  fixed,  she  suggested  that 
they  should  be  graduated  upon  the  principle  of 
economy,  and  that  teachers  should  understand 
that  they  must  go  elsewhere  if  they  would  teach 
for  hire.  She  proposed  that  her  own  salary  should 
be  no  more  than  two  hundred  dollars,  although 
she  might  have  commanded  two  or  three  times 
that  amount  in  almost  any  flourishing  institution. 
Her  practice  was  consistent  with  the  lessons 
which  she  imparted  to  her  scholars."  She  was  so 
successful  in  impressing  the  duty  of  self-denial 
upon  them,  that  very  many  made  it  a  rule  to  give 
to  charitable  objects  all  the  "  spending-money " 
which  they  brought  with  them  to  lay  out  in  con- 
fectionery and  nicknacks.  Higher  and  nobler 
aspirations  were  created  in  the  hearts  of  many. 
Some  would  go  home  to  plead  with  their  parents 
for  permission  to  go  to  a  destitute  field  in  the 
West,  or  elsewhere,  to  teach ;  or,  perhaps,  to  go 
18 


206     THE  GOOD  GIRL  AND  TRUE  WOMAN. 

abroad  upon  a  mission  to  the  perishing.  Fathers 
and  mothers  would  say,  "Why  do  you  want  to 
go  away  ?  Is  not  your  father's  house  a  pleasant 
home  to  you  ?  Is  there  anything  you  want  that 
you  do  not  have?  Why  do  you  wish  to  leave 
us  ? "  ,  The  secret  of  their  benevolent  spirit  was 
found  in  the  example  and  teachings  of  Miss 
Lyon. 

In  the  year  1841  she  visited  some  of  her  near 
relatives  in  the  western  part  of  New  York.  She 
found  them  somewhat  distressed  in  their  temporal 
circumstances.  Misfortune  and  sickness  had  re- 
duced their  pecuniary  means,  and  their  homestead 
was  about  being  sold  at  auction.  Miss  Lyon  at 
once  "redeemed  the  farm,  took  the  deed  in  her 
own  name,  gave  them  a  life-lease  of  the  spot, 
and  on  their  death  it  is  bequeathed,  by  her  last 
will  and  testament,  to  the  American  Board  of 
Commissioners  for  Foreign  Missions."  During 
the  last  years  of  her  life,  she  gave  away  half  of 
her  income. 

These  facts,  in  connection  with  others  in  fore- 
going .chapters,  are  sufficient  to  show  that  true 
sympathy  and  benevolence  were  leading  quali- 
ties of  \er  soul.  Perhaps  her  success  is  to  be 
ascribed  more  to  the  fact  that  she  made  the  be- 
nevolence of  the  gospel  the  controlling  principle 
<>f  Mfe.  than  to  any  other  one  element  of  charac- 


A   BEAUTIFUL    SOUL.  207 

ter.  This  gave  her  a  consciousness  of  being  right, 
which  usually  begets  fortitude,  self-reliance,  en- 
ergy, hope,  and  perseverance.  Having  no  pride 
or  unholy  ambition  to  be  disappointed,  and  no 
special  selfish  interest  to  promote,  she  had  nothing 
to  do  but  to  press  on  in  the  work  of  doing  good. 
Noble  aim !  Beauty  alone  has  not  attractions  so 
exalted  as  such  a  soul.  Contrasted  with  the  belle,, 
whose  "  pretty  face "  is  her  principal  charm,  such 
a  one  is  really  an  angel  of  mercy ! 

"As  the  rivers  farthest  flowing, 

In  the  highest  hills  have  birth;  , 

As  the  banyan  broadest  growing, 

Oftenest  bows  its  head  to  earth  — 
So  the  noblest  minds  press  onward, 

Channels  far  of  good  to  trace ; 
So  the  largest  hearts  bend  downward, 

Circling  all  the  human  race." 

We  shall  now  call  the  reader's  attention  to 
other  illustrations  of  a  beautiful  soul. 

There  is  Florence  Nightingale,  whose  heroic 
deeds  in  behalf  of  the  suffering  and  wounded 
soldiers  of  the  Crimean  war  have  i>een  told  to 
her  praise  in  every  land.  One  says,  "  Her  deeds 
of  love  are  among  the  few  redeeming  features  of 
the  war  in  the  East,  and  her  memory  will  be  pre- 
served and  cherished  when  that  of  the  captains 


208  THE   GOOD   GIRL   AND    TKUE    WOMAN. 

and  warriors,  whose  names  are  written  in  blood, 
is  forgotten."  In  early  life  she  lived  near  the 
peasantry  of  the  counties  of  Hampshire  and  Der- 
byshire, in  England ;  and  it  was  part  of  the  busi- 
ness of  herself  and  sister  to  visit  the  cottages  of 
the  poor,  and  carry  food  to  the  hungry,  and  deli- 
cacies to  the  sick.  Her  father  was  wealthy,  but 
.he  considered  that  kindness  and  true  benevolence 
were  jewels  in  the  characters  of  sons  and  daugh- 
ter; therefore,  he  schooled  Florence  in  this  way 
of  blessing  others.  She  grew  up  with  a  heart  for 
philanthropic  deeds.  Her  attention  was  early  Di- 
rected to  the  condition  of  the  sick  poor  in  hos- 
pitals, and  she  repaired  to  the  institution  for  train- 
ing nurses,  at  Rurserswerth,  in  Prussia,  where  she 
went  through  a  course  of  medical  study.  Subse- 
quently she  accepted  the  office  of  matron  of  a 
ladies'  hospital  in  London.  While  in  the  midst 
of  great  usefulness,  the  war  with  Russia  began, 
and  she  was  easily  persuaded  to  accept  the  office 
of  superintendent  of  the  nursing  department.  No 
language  can  do  justice  to  her  self-sacrificing  toils 
in  the  hospitals  of  Scutari,  and  in  other  places 
where  the  sick  and  wounded  were  found.  "When 
she  returned  to  England,  a  grateful  public  show- 
ered their  praises  upon  her;  and,  as  an  expression 
of  regard,  a  large  sum  of  money  was  presented 
to  her.  In  the  exercise  of  that  humane  and  be- 


A    BEAUTIFUL    SOUL.  209 

nevolent  spirit  which  had  always  characterized 
her  life,  she  devoted  every  dollar  of  the  money 
received  to  establish  an  institution  for  the  educa- 
tion of  nurses. 

The  wife  of  the  great  philanthropist,  Howard, 
was  a  woman  of  very  kind  and  benevolent  feel- 
ings. On  settling  his  accounts  one  year,  he  was 
happily  surprised  to  find  quite  a  balance  in  his 
favor,  and  he  proposed  to  his  wife  to  spend  the 
money  on  a  tour  of  pleasure.  She  replied,  "What 
a  beautiful  cottage .  for  a  poor  family  might  be 
built  with  that  money!"  Howard  thought  so, 
too;  and  the  money  was  accordingly  spent  in 
that  way. 

We  have  read  of  a  lady,  who  was  highly  edu- 
cated in  early  life,  having  acquired  a  knowledge  of 
both  solid  and  ornamental  studies.  She  was  mar- 
ried to  an  intelligent,  worthy  gentleman,  whose 
pecuniary  means  were  somewhat  limited.  It  was 
not  until  after  her  marriage  that  she  became  a 
Christian,  and  then  her  heart  was  turned  to  ob- 
jects of  charity.  As  she  could  not  command  all 
tne  money  that  she  wanted  for  benevolent  objects, 
suj  made  use  of  some  of  her  early  acquisitions 
to  obtain  it.  She  received  pupils  to  instruct  in 
music,  and  also  employed  her  skill  in  painting 
some  fine  pieces,  which  she  readily  sold  among 
her  acquaintances.  All  the  avails  of  these  efforts 
18* 


210  THE    GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

she  sacredly  devoted  to  charitable  purposes.  In 
the  course  of  several  years  her  contributions  to 
various  objects  amounted  to  several  hundred  dol- 
lars. This  was  certainly  a  very  commendable  use 
to  make  of  her  acquaintance  with  music  and 
painting.  Very  few  girls,  educated  as  she  was, 
turn  their  ornamental  culture  to  so  good  account. 

The  unfortunate  Queen  Anne  Boleyn,  whose 
cruel  persecution  and  sufferings  in  the  Tower  are 
well  known,  was  so  kind  and  generous  of  heart 
that  she  won  friends  on  every  hand.  Every 
morning  she  provided  herself  with  a  purse,  the 
contents  of  which  she  distributed  among  the  poor. 
She  considered  that  no  day  was  well  spent  with- 
out some  deeds  of  charity. 

When  Miss  Lyon  was  collecting  funds  for  the 
Mount  Holyoke  Seminary,  two  sisters  in  mod- 
erate circumstances  subscribed  one  hundred  dol- 
lars. Before  the  time  of  payment  arrived,  a 
reverse  of  fortune  swept  away  all  they  possessed. 
Miss  Lyon,  becoming  acquainted  with  their  mis- 
fortune, -did  not  expect  they  would  pay  the  sub- 
scription; but  they  insisted  upon  so  doing,  as  a 
blessed  privilege.  They  set  to  work  to  earn  the 
money,  and  persevered  until  the  subscription  of 
a  hundred  dollars  was  paid.  It  *is  an  unusual 
example  of  self-denial  and  cheerful  giving. 

The   Scriptures   contain    a   bright   record    of  a 


A    BEAUTIFUL    SOUL.  211 

female,  whose  humble  condition  would  have  ren- 
dered her  unknown  to  fame,  but  for  her  noble 
spirit.  The  account  of  her  is :  "  This  woman  was 
full  of  good  works  and  alms-deeds,  which  she 
did."  It  was  Dorcas.  One  of  the  ways  which 
she  adopted  for  doing  good,  was  the  making  of 
"coats  and  garments"  for  "the  widows."  Her 
name  is  associated  with  works  of  charity,  by 
which  she  evidently  endeared  herself  to  a  large 
number  of  the  poor.  Her  death  was  followed  by 
such  demonstrations  of  grief  as  are  expressed  only 
over  the  remains  of  the  truly  sympathetic  and 
benevolent.  "  Then  Peter  arose,  and  went  with 
them.  When  he  was  come,  they  brought  him 
into  the  upper  chamber  \jmnd  all  the  widows  stood 
by  him,  weeping,  and  showing  the  coats  and  gar- 
ments which  Dorcas  made,  while  she  was  with 
them"  Those  tears  were  a  better  eulogy  upon  the 
life  and  character  of  the  deceased  than  language 
can  frame.  The  woman  who  so  lives  that  the 
poor  and  distressed  around  her  will  shed  tears  of 
unfeigned  sorrow  at  her  death,  has  not  lived  in 
vain.  Her  life  is  far  brighter  and  better  than  that 
of  the  rich  and  worldly  daughters  of  pleasure. 
The  soul  of  Dorcas  is  more  attractive  than  the 
face  of  a  handsome  belle. 

A  beautiful  soul  was  the  possession  of  all  these 
females.     This  has  been  the  verdict  of  mankind. 


212  THE   GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

Although  they  were  not  perfect  women,  yet  their 
defects  of  character  were  scarcely  noticed,  on  ac- 
count of  the  habitual  kindness  and  love  that  dis- 
tinguished their  daily  walk.  Their  souls  were 
adorned  with  graces  that  always  challenge  respect. 
To  most  of  them  the  language  of  Mr.  James,  in 
commenting  upon  a  passage  of  Scripture,  is  ap- 
plicable :  "  It  is  the  decoration  of  the  soitl,  rather 
than  of  the  body,  about  which  Christian  women 
should  be  chiefly  solicitous ;  and  about  the  orna- 
ments that  are  suitable  to  its  own  nature.  The 
soul  is  indestructible  and  immortal  —  so  should 
its  ornaments  be.  What  can  jewels  of  silver  or 
jewels  of  gold  do  for  this?  Can  the  diamond 
sparkle  upon  the  intellect?  or  the  ruby  blaze  upon 
the  heart  ?  or  the  pearl  be  set  in  the  conscience  ? 
or  the  gorgeous  robe  clothe  the  character  ?  or  the 
feather  or  the  flower  wave  over  the  whole  renewed 
and  holy  nature?  No!  The  appropriate  orna- 
ments of  the  soul  are  truth,  holiness,  knowledge, 
faith,  hope,  love,  joy,  humility,  and  all  the  other 
gifts  and  graces  of  the  spirit ;  wisdom,  prudence, 
fortitude,  and  gentleness,  —  these  are  the  jewels 
with  which  the  inner  man  should  be  adorned. 
The  outer  man  is  corruptible.  Dust  it  is,  and 
unto  dust  it  shall  return.  That  beautiful  woman, 
glittering  in  all  the  profusion  of  diamonds,  the 
admiration  and  envy  of  the  court  or  the  ball- 


A    BEAUTIFUL    SOUL.  213 

room,  must  ere  long  be  a  mass  of  putrefaction 
too  ghastly  to  be  looked  upon,  —  a  hideous  skele- 
ton,-—  a  collection  of  bones,  —  a  heap  of  dust. 
And  where  then  will  be  the  immortal  spirit? 
and  will  it  wear  the  cast-off  jewels  of  the  body? 
O  no !  these  remain  rescued  from  the  grasp  of 
the  king  of  terrors,  only  to  ornament  other  bodies, 
but  not  to  prepare  their  souls  for  immortal  glory. 
But  turn  now  to  that  other  female,  —  the  woman 
who,  regardless  of  the  decoration  of  the  body, 
was  all  intent  upon  the  beauty  of  the  soul, — 
look  at  her,  I  say,  who  was  clothed  with  the  robe 
of  righteousness  and  the  garment  of  salvation, 
and  decorated  with  the  ornament  of  a  '  meek  and 
quiet  spirit?  She,  too,  dies,  and  whatever  of 
beauty  there  was  in  her  person,  dies  for  a  season 
with  her;  but  the  indestructible  and  immortal 
spirit,  over  which  death  hath  no  dominion,  goes 
not  unadorned  into  the  presence  of  the  Eternal ; 
for  the  jewels  with  which  it  decorated  itself  on 
earth  are  as  indestructible  as  its  own  nature,  and 
go  with  it  to  shine  in  the  presence  of  God." 

There  are  many  ways  of  developing  a  beautiful 
soul ;  and  every  girl  can  show  that  she  has  it,  if 
she  will.  In  every  community  there  are  the  sick, 
the  unfortunate,  the  poor,  and  other  classes  to 
excite  the  sympathies  of  the  heart.  How  very 
appropriate  for  even  girls  to  manifest  an  interest 


214  THE    GOOD   GIRL    AJfD    TRUE    WOMAN. 

in  these  suffering  classes !  —  to  be  ready  to  visit 
the  sick,  and  render  cheerful  aid;  to  carry  com- 
forts to  the  abodes  of  want;  to  speak  words  of 
kindness  and  hope  to  the  desponding  and  down- 
trodden ;  in  short,  to  be  true  "  sisters  of  charity " 
in  neighborhood  and  town! 

The  Sabbath  School  opens  an  inviting  field  of 
labor.  The  young  woman  can  be  the  happy  in- 
strument of  impressing  the  little  child's  heart 
with  lessons  of  wisdom.  She  can  guide  and  shape 
an  immortal  mind.  Perhaps  she  may  set  a  jewel 
in  the  Saviour's  crown.  How  beautiful  the  spirit 
that  is  intent  upon  this  object! 

In  every  town  there  are  philanthropic  enter- 
prises which  offer  excellent  opportunities  to  females 
for  displaying  their  kindness,  and  developing  a 
benevolent  spirit, — sewing-circles  in  behalf  of  the 
perishing;  plans  to  improve  and  beautify  the  sanc- 
tuary; the  distribution  of  tracts  among  neglected 
classes ;  enrolling  the  names  of  the  young  and  old 
upon  the  temperance  pledge, — and  many  other 
works  of  a  similar  kind,  for  which  females  are 
peculiarly  adapted.  It  is  a  pleasant  sight  to  wit- 
ness girls  engaging  in  these  different  enterprises 
with  whole-hearted  zeal. 

There  are,  also,  the  various  benevolent  objects, 
belonging  to  the  great  Missionary  enterprise, 
which  ought  to  engage  their  attention.  They 


A    BEAUTIFUL    SOUL. 


can  be  efficient  in  collecting  funds  from  house 
to  house.  They  can  also  aid  by  conscientiously 
devoting  a  portion  of  their  earnings  to  the  Lord. 
The  latter  is  a  successful  way  of  cultivating  the 
highest  graces.  And  how,  I  ask,  can  a  young 
lady  make  herself  more  lovely  than  by  engaging, 
heart  and  hand,  in  missionary  work?  The  sight 
is  truly  pleasant  to  the  eye;  and  the  delicate 
toiler  wins  a  place  for  her  name  in  every  heart. 

These  are  some  of  the  ways  of  nurturing  the 
elements  of  a  beautiful  soul,  which  is  sure  to  give 
a  girl  some  success  by  securing  the  confidence 
of  those  around  her.  She  will  command  the 
respect  and  love  of  others,  in  proportion  to  the 
strength  of  these  benevolent  qualities,  —  other 
things  being  equal.  For  this  reason,  and  more 
particularly  because  she  will  share  the  approba- 
tion of  "God,  she  should  seek  the  highest  develop- 
ment of  these  finer  feelings.  It  is  something  to 
give  a  cup  of  cold  water  to  the  thirsty,  and  the 
giver  is  not  unnoticed  by  the  unseen  Eye ;  how 
much  more  is  it  to  form  the  habit  of  sympathiz- 
ing with,  and  acting  for,  the  good  of  others!  and 
thus  to  open  a  deep  fountain  of  joy  and  blessing, 
that  shall  flow  oa  -when  the  beautiful  soul  has 
gone  to  its  rich  reward! 

There  once  lived  a  hermit  in  a  lonely  desert, 
who  was  accustomed  to  carry  water  in  a  glass 


216    THE  GOOD  GIRL  AND  TRCE  WOMAN'. 

to  the  thirsty  travellers  who  passed  his  door. 
Many  grateful  hearts  invoked  the  blessings  of 
Heaven  upon  his  head,  for  his  timely  and  cooling 
draughts.  But  the  old  man  thought,  one  day, 
that  if  he  should  dig  a  well  by  the  way-side, 
weary  travellers  could  slake  their  thirst  at  pleas- 
ure, and  long  after  he  had  gone  to  his  rest  it 
would  continue  to  be  a  literal  fountain  of  good. 
He  dug  the  well;  and,  generations  after,  moving 
caravans  stopped  to  refresh  themselves  with  its 
perennial  waters.  Thus  should  it  be  with  my 
youthful  reader.  Be  not  satisfied  with  perform- 
ing an  occasional  act  of  kindness,  though  it  may 
make  a  glad  heart ;  but  make  benevolence  the 
controlling  principle  of  your  life,  and  thus  open 
a  well-spring  of  good,  that  will  not  be  dry  when 
you  rest  in  the  silent  grave. 

cJ  .n-in?^  •;;•••  .;...•--     • 


. 


CHAPTER    XIX. 


USKFULNE  8  S. 


MATTY  GIRLS  HAVE  LITTLE  IDEA  OF  IT  — MISS  LYON'8  LETTER  — 
MINISTER'S  DAUGHTER  —  LETTER  TO  HER  8ISTEB  — SOME  GIRLS 
AS  USELESS  AS  POSSIBLE  —  CAN  EMBROIDER,  BUT  NOT  MAKE  A 
DRESS  OR  PIE  —  WHAT  IS  IT  TO  BE  USELESS?  —  AN  OPPORTUNITY 
—  A  USEFUL  GIRL  —  PUBLIC  GRIEF  AT  THE  DEATH  OF  MRS.  VAK 
NESS  —  THE  EULOGY  "  SHE  WAS  USEFUL,"  AND  "  SHE  WAS  ACCOM- 
PLISHED " —  GIRL'S  SHOULD  AIM  TO  BE  USEFUL  IF  THEY  WOULD 
BE  SUCCESSFUL. 


THE  last  chapter  related  to  this  subject ;  it  has 
been  incidentally  alluded  to,  also,  in  other  places ; 
but  the  importance  of  the  theme  leads  the  author 
to  present  some  additional  thoughts  upon  the  sub- 
ject, in  a  separate  chapter. 

One  day  Miss  Lyon  urged  upon  the  attention 
of  some  of  her  pupils  the  claims  of  certain  fields 
for  usefulness,  by  the  way  of  teaching ;  but  they 
refused  to  enter  them  because  the  compensation 
was  small.  In  writing  to  a  friend,  immediately 
afterwards,  she  speaks  of  the  circumstance  thus  : 
"You  see  what  the  views  of  these  young  ladies 
are.  I  could  not  refrain  froin  saying  to  myself, 
If  all  ladies  entertain  the  same  views,  what  will 

19 


218          THE   GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN.   . 

become  of  the  immense  population  of  our  coun- 
try, whose  scale  of  means  and  living,  in  every 
respect,  is  so  far  below  these  views  ? "  And 
then  she  goes  on  to  express  her  grief  at  what 
she  has  witnessed  among  young  females,  even 
those  who  profess  religion,  which  shows  how  little 
they  think  of  being  useful.  "I  do  believe,"  she 
says,  "  that  this  is  a  time  when  efforts  in  behalf  of 
young  Christians  are  peculiarly  needed.  In  my 
intercourse  with  society  of  late,  I  have  been  more 
and  more  convinced  of  this.  I  have  noticed  a  ten- 
dency to  giddiness,  volatility,  and  foolish  talking 
and  jesting.  In  some  cases  I  have  been  surprised 
to  learn  that  those  in  whom  I  have  noticed  these 
things  were  professors  of  religion.  I  am  inclined 
to  think  that  this  is  more  manifest  when  young 
ladies  and  young  gentlemen  are  engaged  in  con- 
versation with  one  another.  I  recollect  of  meet- 
ing a  minister  and  his  daughter  of  fifteen  or 
sixteen.  She  was  introduced  to  our  company. 
We  noticed  her  apparent  thoughtlessness,  and 
spoke  of  it  to  each  other  with  a  feeling  that  she 
was  a  child,  and  would  need  a  prudent  mother's 
care.  We  soon  learned,  to  our  surprise,  that  she 
professed  piety,  and  would  like  to  go  on  a  mission. 
This  is  an  extreme  case;  but  I  have  seen  many 
others,  though  less  marked,  which  have  led  me  to 
tremble  for  the  church.  .  .  .  O,  how  important 


USEFULNESS.  219 

that  young  Christians  should  take;  Christ  for  their 
example,  and  become  holy  as  he  was  holy,  harm- 
less and  undefiled  as  he  was !  How  important 
that  all  who  are  united  to  Christ  should  live  in 
such  a  manner  as  to  avoid  the  appearance  of  evil ! 
May  the  Lord  teach  jhe  dearly  beloved  in  our 
seminary  as  no  man  can  teach  them ! " 

Often  she  was  pained  by  the  evident  absence  of 
all  desire  among  girls  to  be  useful.  On  this  ac- 
count, perhaps,  she  made  more  effort  to  school  her 
nieces  in  the  idea  of  occupying  a  place  of  useful- 
ness, rather  than  one  of  ease  and  popularity.  She 
besought  their  mothers  to  impress  this  subject 
upon  their  minds.  She  once  wrote  to  her  sister 
Moore  about  her  daughter  A.: — "I  do  not 
think  the  sphere  of  usefulness  so  extensive  as  she 
might  have  in  other  places.  How  much  greater  is 
the  blessing  of  enjoying  a  field  of  usefulness,  than 
a  situation  favorable  to  personal  advantage !  And 
do  you  not,  my  dear  sister,  regard  it  as  a  higher  pri- 
vilege to  have  your  children  prepared  to  do  good, 
than  to  have  them  enjoy  great  worldly  prosperity  ? 
This  happiness  I  desire  and  pray  that  you  may  en- 
joy in  all  your  children." 

We  think  that  Miss  Lyon's  criticisms  upon  girls, 
in  regard  to  usefulness,  are  just ;  for,  turn  to  some 
classes  of  society  described  on  former  pages,  and 
what  do  we  witness?  Instead  of  possessing  the 


220          THE    GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN.  . 

remotest  intention  of  being  useful,  their  ideas  of 
"style"  and  "manners"  are  suited  to  make  them 
nearly  as  useless  as  possible.  How  many  girls  are 
taught  to  play  the  piano,  and  embroider,  —  both  of 
which  are  well  in  their  place,  —  while  they  are  not 
permitted  to  make  a  dress  or  a  pie  !  It  is  consist- 
ent with  some  mothers'  ideas  of  gentility  to 
embroider,  but  it  is  not  to  sew  on  a  garment. 
They  may  know  how  to  dance  or  paint,  but  it  would 
be  almost  unpardonable  for  them  to  know  how  to 
wash  a  pocket  handkerchief!  It  does  appear  as  if 
the  notions  which  some  people  entertain  of  gen- 
tility were  singularly  adapted  to  make  them  use- 
less. They  acquire  a  knowledge  of  those  things 
which  are  least  necessary,  and  neglect  those  that 
would  be  of  great  service  to  them  in  discharging 
the  duties  of  life.  It  is  said  that  "nothing  is  made 
in  vain ;"  but  some  girls  may  almost  be  said  to  be 
exceptions  to  the  rule.  They  are  educated  to 
think  that  labor  is  degrading,  which  amounts  to 
the  same  thing  as  the  belief  that  usefulness  is 
degrading ;  and  lower  than  this,  in  the  scale  of 
recognized  responsible  existence,  no  female  can 
easily  fall. 

Let  the  reader  stop  and  consider  what  it  is  to  be 
useless.  How  much  selfishness,  worldly-minded- 
ness,  and  neglect  of  God's  claims  upon  the  heart, 
it  implies !  To  be  a  cipher  in  the  world,  where 


USEFULNESS.  221 

there  is  so  much  to  be  done  !  —  as  if  there  were  no 
God  calling  for  action !  Are  you  willing  to  stand 
in  this  relation  to  mankind  ?  Dare  you  waste  the 
golden  moments  of  life  in  bringing  nothing  to 
pass  ?  Look  at  your  opportunities  for  usefulness ! 
And  what  is  an  opportunity,  do  you  ask  ?  It  is  a 
favorable  occasion  for  doing  good,  which,  like  time, 
if  once  lost,  is  lost  forever.  How  many  of  them 
are  crowded  into  a  single  year  of  your  life !  Dare 
you  waste  them  all?  Will  you  toss  them  away 
as  so  many  passing  trifles  ?  Then  your  life  will  be 
a  failure,  —  the  end  of  your  being  will  be  defeated, 
your  name  will  be  unhonored,  —  your  memory  will 
perish  in  oblivion. 

A  USEFUL  girl !  —  A  USEFUL  woman  !  No  female 
need  aspire  after  a  higher  eulogium  than  this.  It 
is  the  fulfilment  of  her  mission,  which  earth  ap- 
proves and  God  rewards.  The  first  instance  of  a 
great  public  demonstration  of  grief  at  the  death 
of  a  woman,  that  occurred  in  our  land,  was  occa- 
sioned by  the  departure  of  a  useful  female  of  the 
city  of  Washington  —  Mrs.  Van  Ness.  She  en- 
deared herself  to  the  people  by  her  constant  efforts 
at  doing  good.  She  was  the  first  to  appreciate 
and  relieve  the  wants  of  the  needy,  and  the  last  to 
despair  of  reclaiming  the  wandering.  Year  after 
year  she  toiled  in  behalf  of  the  lower  classes  of 
that  city,  to  teach,  comfort,  and  elevate  them. 
19* 


222  THE   GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

She  died  on  the  ninth  of  September,  1832,  and 
the  announcement  of  her  exit  spread  a  gloom  over 
the  entire  metropolis.  The  citizens,  without  dis- 
tinction of  sect  or  party,  held  a  meeting  to  express 
their  sorrow  at  her  death,  and  to  devise  a  plan 
for  bearing  public  testimony  to  her  worth.  They 
voted  to  procure  a  plate  for  her  coffin,  on  which 
should  be  an  inscription  detailing  her  virtues  and 
expressing  their  gratitude.  She  was  followed  to 
the  grave  by  nearly  all  the  people  of  the  city.  It 
was  homage  paid  to  distinguished  USEFULNESS. 

It  is  a  very  sad  affair  to  so  live  that,  when  death 
removes  you  hence,  all  that  can  be  said  of  you  is, 
"  she  was  accomplished,"  or  "  she  was  beautiful,"  or 
"she  was  intelligent."  How  much  better,  nobler, 
holier,  so  to  live,  that,  when  you  die,  friends  and 
neighbors  may  say,  "  she  was  USEFUL"  ! 

Indeed,  no  girl  can  accomplish  anything  worthy 
of  herself,  unless  her  constant  aim  is  at  usefulness. 
Here  duty,  which  we  have  considered  in  a  previ- 
ous chapter,  comes  in  with  its  demands,  and  the 
result  is  energy  and  perseverance  in  the  right 
direction. 

"  Intrepid  virtue  triumphs  over  Fate; 
The  good  can  never  be  unfortunate : 
And  be  this  maxim  graven  in  thy  mind, 
The  height  of  virtue  is  to  serve  mankind." 


CHAPTER   XX. 

AMUS  BMENTS. 

MISS  LYON'S  VIEWS  OF  AMUSEMENTS  SCRIPTURAL  —  LOVE  O» 
AMUSEMENTS  —  DESTROYS  USEFULNESS  —  LOVERS  OF  PLEASURE 
ARE  TRIFLERS  —  AMUSEMENTS  EXTINGUISH  8EKIOU8  THOUGHTS  — 
THE  YOUNG  INQUIRER  AND  THE  DANCE  —  TESTIMONY  OF  FRAN- 
CES M'LELLAN  —  PLEASURE-SEEKING  GIRLS  ASSOCIATE  -OFTEN 

WITH  YOUNG  MEN  OF  BAD  CHARACTER — MANY  INTEMPERATE 
YOUNG  MEN  —  ONE  OF  THIS  CLASS  ON  HER  DEATH-BED — TESTI- 
MONY OF  HER  PHYSICIAN  —  THESE  EVILS  SHOW  BAD  INFLU- 
ENCE OF  POPULAR  AMUSEMENTS  —  THESE  SHOULD  BE  AVOIDED  — 
RECREATION  NECESSARY,  BUT  NOT  AMUSEMENTS  —  PLEASURE 
NEVER  TO  BE  SOUGHT  FOR  ITS  OWN  SAKE — PRINCIPLE  THE 
RULE  OF  ACTION,  AND  PLEASURE  THE  RESULT — CLEOPATRA 
DISSOLVED  AND  DRANK  A  JEWEL  WORTH  $375,000  TO  THE  HEALTH 
OF  MARK  ANTONY  — MANY  GIRLS  MAKE  GREATER  SACRIFICE  OV 
SOUL.  . 

Miss  Lyon  was  thought  to  be  unnecessarily  rigid, 
by  some  of  her  pupils,  in  respect  to  amusements. 
We  think,  however,  that  her  views  were  very  scrip- 
tural, and  that  such  views  alone  lead  to  success. 
There  is  no  doubt  that  a  fondness  for  mere  worldly 
pleasure  has  been  the  cause  of  many  a  girl's  useless- 
ness,  and  utter  failure  of  life.  On  account  of  their 
love  of  amusements  they  have  sought  those  scenes 
of  gayety,  in  which  the  elements  of  true  success 
are  never  called  out.  Much  of  the  girlish  folly 


224  THE    GOOD   GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN.        v 

portrayed  in  the  foregoing  pages  arises,  in  fact, 
from  this  undue  love  of  pleasure.  Hence,  it  is  a 
subject  that  claims  some  special  attention. 

Among  young  ladies  who  participate  in  all  the 
amusements  of  the  day,  we  have  noticed  several 
things  which  certainly  show  that  their  influence  up- 
on the  heart  is  evil.  One  is,  that  they  are  among  the 
most  thoughtless  and  trifling  of  their  sex.  Thought- 
fulness  is  becoming  in  a  girl  —  that  thought- 
fulness  which  is  found  in  connection  with  pru- 
dence, foresight,  and  wisdom.  But  these  seekers 
of  pleasure  do  not  possess  it.  Female  scoffers  and 
despisers  of  religion  are  found  among  them.  Plea- 
sure is  more  to  them  than  principle.  They  wonder 
at  the  Puritan  stiffness  of  those  who  condemn 
parties  and  balls,  and  conclude  that  religion  is  a 
cold  and  heartless  affair. 

We  have  noticed  that  amusements  sometimes 
extinguish  serious  thoughts  in  the  minds  of  girls 
who  had  them  for  a  time.  We  well  remember  one 
who  had  almost  decided  to  accompany  a  friend  to 
see  their  pastor,  to  converse  with  him  about  the 
salvation  of  their  souls.  The  evening  was  ap- 
pointed ;  but  an  invitation  to  attend  a  dance 
changed  her  mind ;  and  she  has  scarcely  been  to 
the  house  of  God  from  that  day  to  this,  although 
several  years  have  elapsed  since  her  fatal  deci- 
sion. We  have  read  of  manv  similar  instances. 


AMUSEMENTS.  225 

Another  fact  that  has  impressed  us  as  we  have 
observed  this  class  of  pleasure-seeking  young  la- 
dies, is,  that  occasionally  one  of  the  number  be- 
comes a  true  Christian,  when  she  denounces  former 
pleasures  as  corrupting.  It  is  not  true  of  all  who 
profess  to  be  converted ;  but  we  say  it  is  true  of  all 
who  give  the  most  satisfactory  evidence  of  regen- 
eration. We  have  the  words  of  one  before  us,— 
though  she  was  never  one  who  could  be  called 
a  thoughtless  pleasure-seeker,  yet  she  often  went 
to  splendid  parties,  where  various  amusements 
were  enjoyed.  The  lady  was  Frances  McLellan, 
of  whom  we  have  already  spoken.  She  said,  after 
her  conversion,  speaking  of  these  parties :  "  I  can- 
not attend  them  any  more,  since  I  find  I  cannot 
enjoy  communion  with  God,  such  as  my  soul 
craves,  after  my  return.  I  find  my  thoughts  dis- 
tracted, and  prayer  then  seems  like  solemn  words 
upon  thoughtless  lips.  I  am  resolved  henceforth 
to  leave  them  to  such  as  can  feel  that  they  are  not 
a  detriment  to  religious  improvement  and  progress. 
For  myself,  I  am  convinced  that  it  is  no  place  for 
me." 

We  have  observed,  also,  that  some  young  ladies 
of  this  class  accept  the  attention  of  young  men  of 
doubtful,  and  even  of  known  corrupt  characters, 
for  the  sake  of  enjoying  the  ball,  or  party  of 
pleasure.  We  have  known  more  than  one  instanca 


226          THE  GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

of  a  respectable  girl  going  to  such  places  with 
partners  of  intemperate  habits.  We  are  surprised 
that  it  should  be  so.  Young  men  would  not  show 
attention  to  females  of  doubtful  character.  They 
are  spurned  from  the  social  relations  of  this  class. 
But  young  women  are  often  guilty  of  the  act  we 
allege  against  them ;  and  sometimes  a  friendship 
springs  up  between  them  and  their  immoral  com- 
panions, which  ripens  into  mutual  love,  that  is 
consummated  in  wedlock.  We  have  married  at 
least  two  girls  to  whom  these  remarks  would  ap- 
ply; and  now  they  are  the  miserable  wives  of  drunk- 
ards, with  the  very  dark  prospect  of  seeing  no 
happier  day  on  this  side  of  the  grave.  We  hardly 
know  how  to  account  for  such  strange  inconsider-- 
ation  ;  but,  on  the  whole,  it  appears  that  a  love  of 
amusement  overrides  judgment  and  principle. 

Furthermore,  we  have  read  of  many  pleasure 
worshippers,  who  have  wept  in  agony  over  their 
worldly  career  on  the  bed  of  death.  Mr.  Arvine 
tells  us  of  a  beautiful  young  lady,  about  eighteen 
years  of  age.  During  a  season  of  revival,  when 
many  of  her  young  friends  were  giving  their  hearts 
to  God,  the  family  physician  urged  her  to  become 
a  Christian.  She  replied,  "  How  can  I  think  of 
becoming  pious,  when,  in  doing  so,  I  shah1  debar 
myself  of  the  privilege  of  attending  balls?  Our 
minister  says  dancing  in  wrong.  If  the  Rev.  Mr. 


AMUSEMENTS.  227 

was  our  minister,  I  think  I  would  venture 

to  be  pious,  for  he  allows  this .  innocent  amuse- 
ment." The  physician  reminded  her  "  that  she 
would  yet  see  a  difference  between  a  life  of  amuse- 
ment and  a  life  of  prayer." 

Ere  long  the  physician  was  called  to  her  bedside, 
for  she  was  dangerously  sick.  She  asked  an  in- 
terest in  his  prayers.  Subsequent  events  shall  be 
given  in  his  own  words :  » 

"  A  sort  of  low  murmur  or  moaning  was  heard 
from  her  half-opened  lips.  Yet,  when  called  by 
name,  she  would  open  her  eyes,  and  seemed  to  re- 
cognize those  around  her.  She  continued  in  this 
condition  for  several  hours,  during  which  period 
she  occasionally  uttered  the  most  heart-touching 
and  unearthly  groans  I  ever  heard  from  a  mortal 
being.  They  distressed  me  —  they  distressed  us 
all. 

*'  At  last,  putting  my  mouth  to  her  ear,  I  said : 
*  Mary  Ann,  do  tell  me  what  mean  these  unearthly 
groans  which  we  hear  from  you  ?  What  is  the 
matter,  my  dear  child  ?  If  it  is  in  your  power  to 
tell  me,  do,  I  beseech  you.'  And  never  shall  I  for- 
get the  reply.  She  opened  her  once  beautiful  <eyes, 
slowly  raised  her  pale  and  attenuated  hand,  and, 
fixing  on  me  a  look  that  made  my  soul  ache,  —  such 
was  its  solemn  intensity,  —  she  said,  with  an  audi- 
bleness  of  her  voice  that  utterly  astonished  us  all : 


228         THE   GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

'  Doctor,  doctor,  there  is  a  difference  between  a 
life  of  amusement  and  a  life  of  prayer.  0,  it  is 
hard  to  die  without  an  interest  in  Christ ! '  She 
closed  her  eyes,  her  hand  fell,  and  all  was  silent. 
And,  my  soul,  what  a  silence  was  that !  Soon  the 
earthly  anguish  of  the  sufferer  was  ended —  she 
spoke  not  again." 

We  have  observed  and  read  of  many  other  un- 
toward influences  resulting  from  amusements,  such 
as  introducing  the  participants  into  the  midst  of 
temptations,  creating  or  fostering  a  relish  for  dis- 
play of  dress  and  finery,  and  exposing  the  health 
by  unseasonable  hours  and  apparel,  —  none  of 
which  we  have  time  to  consider. 

And  now,  what  shall  we  infer  from  these  evils 
which  are  known  to  exist  in  connection  with  popu- 
lar amusements  ?  Certainly  not  that  they  can  be 
eagerly  sought  without  Jiazarding  a  girl's,  highest 
temporal  and^etej^xwelfare.  .;  For  facts  prove  the 
contrary,,  But,. rather,  that  these  sources  of  plea- 
sure must  be  avoided  by  those  who  would  form 
the  worthiest  characters,  and  exert  the  happiest 
influence  over  the  lives  of  others.  This  is  the  only 
safe  course  to  pursue,  —  the  only  path,  of  prudence 
and  true  wisdom. 

Therefore,  we  condemn  all  the  popular  amuse- 
ments of  the  day,  in  which  we  embrace  not  only 
theatres,  balls,  and  other  sources  of  enjoyment, 


AMUSEMENTS.  229 

generally  conceded  to  be  pernicious,  but  all  games 
of  chance,  and  parties  of  pleasure,  and  youthful 
frolics,  upon  which  the  blessing  of  God  cannot  be 
sincerely  invoked,  and  from  which  the  participators 
would  be  unwilling  to  be  called  to  their  final  ac- 
count. Girls  should  go  to  no  place  where  Christ 
would  not  go  with  his  holy  religion.  I  know  that 
many  writers  say,  "  All  persons  need  amusements 
for  the  health  of  body  and  mind  ; "  a  sentiment 
from  which  we  dissent,  if  the  term  amusement  is 
used  in  its  popular  sense,  as  referring  to  scenes  of 
mere  worldly  pleasure,  where  pleasure  is  sought 
for  its  own  sake.  We  would  say  "  All  persons  need 
recreation  for  the  health  of  body  and  mind."  But 
it  is  not  necessary  to  go  to  the  ball-room,  or  to  the 
splendid  party,  to  find  this.  Clergymen,  hi  com- 
mon with  students  generally,  need  recreation  more 
than  any  other  class  ;  but  no  consistent  clergyman 
goes  to  the  dancing-party,  bowling-saloon,  or  to 
any  kindred  place,  for  it.  It  is  recreation  for  him 
to  scour  the  fields,  take  a  journey,  ride  on  horse- 
back, saw  wood,  till  the  garden,  or  prosecute  the 
science  of  music.  The  same  kind  of  recreation 
will  do  equally  well  for  others.  Both  body  and 
mind  will  be  invigorated  more  by  them  than  they 
are  by  most  of  the  popular  amusements  of  the  age. 
At  the  same  time,  the  social  feelings  may  be  as 
highly  cultivated ;  for  there  may  be  social  gather- 
.20 


230          THE    GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

ings,  where  sensible  conversation  and  reasonable 
delights  may  be  enjoyed,  instead  of  the  unmeaning 
chatter  and  foolish  sports  of  the  gay  party  or  ball- 
room. 

Besides,  admitting  that  amusements  are  neces- 
sary for  the  health  of  mind  and  body,  this  allows 
them  to  be  sought  only  for  this  object,  so  that 
pleasure  becomes  a  secondary  consideration.  And 
this  is  certainly  the  view  of  the  Scriptures  in  re- 
gard to  all  the  enjoyment  of  this  world.  They 
teach  that  principle  should /be  the  controlling  mo- 
tive of  action,  and  not  pleasure,  —  that  the  latter 
should  never  be  sought  for  its  own  sake.  And  our 
reason  and  conscience  bow  to  the  teachings  of 
God's  word  upon  the  subject.  True,  we  all  do 
many  things — eating,  riding,  visiting,  reading  — 
for  pleasure ;  but  we  know  and  feel,  at  the  same 
time,  that  we  are  actuated  by  an  inferior  motive, 
and  that  we  do  not  secure,  in  consequence,  the  high- 
est good.  It  is  a  grovelling,  sensual  way  of  living, 
in  comparison  with  the  life  of  him  who  regards  the 
divine  injunction :  "  Whether  ye  eat  or  drink,  or 
whatever  ye  do,  do  all  to  the  glory  of  God." 

God  has  ordained  that  the  sweetest  and  truest 
pleasure  shall  flow  from  adherence  to  principle. 
He  who  is  honest  because  he  thinks  he  shall  be 
more  popular,  derives  little  enjoyment  from  his 
outward  honesty;  while  he  who  is  honest  from  prin- 


.  AMUSEMENTS.  231 

ciple,  finds  the  richest  joy  therein.  He  who  goes 
to  church  because  it  is  unpopular  to  stay  away, 
has  little  satisfaction  in  the  act ;  while  he  who 
goes  to  honor  God  is  truly  happy.  He  who  gives 
a  dollar  to  some  benevolent  cause  only  because 
others  give,  is  a  stranger  to  the  delights  of  charity; 
while  he  who  gives  the  same  from  principle,  finds 
solid  comfort  in  the  act.  And  so  it  is  with  every 
thing  in  human  action,  showing  that  principle 
should  be  the  rule  of  action,  and  pleasure  a  re- 
sult. 

Apply  this  rule  to  the  amusements  in  question, 
and  girls  are  at  once  cut  off  from  participating 
in  them.  For,  do  they  not  seek  them  for  the 
sake  of  pleasure  ?  Is  it  done  at  all  to  invigorate 
the  body  or  the  mind?  Is  there  any  principle 
about  it?  When  girls  become  true  Christians, 
and  the  higher,  noble  motive  of  religious  princi- 
ple begins  to  control  them,  do  they  not  say,  with 
Frances  McLellan,  "I  cannot  attend  them  any- 
more "  ?  Thus  the  application  of  principle  to  the 
forms  of  pleasure  described,  condemns  them  at 
once.  For  this  reason,  we  say  to  our  readers, 
turn  away  from  these  dangerous  enjoyments.  Let 
high  Christian  motives  lead  you  to  other  scenes, 
where  the  powers  of  body  and  mind  will  be  de- 
veloped to  far  greater  advantage. 

Cleopatra,  the  renowned  Queen  of  Egypt,  was 


232  1HB  GOOD    GIRL    AN1>    TKUE 


a  lover  of  pleasure.  She  sought  enjoyment  in 
the  gayest  amusements  of  her  day.  On  one  occa- 
sion, at  a  splendid  banquet,  she  dissolved  a  jewel 
worth  three  hundred  and  seventy-five  thousand 
dollars,  and  drank  it  to  the  health  of  Antony. 
It  was  the  price  paid  for  the  pleasure  of  an  even- 
ing's entertainment.  "  Foolish  woman  !  "  exclaims 
the  astonished  reader.  Yet  she  was  not  more 
foolish  than  are  many  girls  who  now  regard 
amusements  as  indispensable  to  a  joyous  life. 
With  equal  thoughtlessness  and  folly,  they  dis- 
solve a  costlier  jewel  —  the  immortal  soul  —  in 
the  cup  of  worldly  pleasure. 


CHAPTER    XXI. 


CONVEBSATION. 


HUGH  TIME  SPENT  IN  CONVERSATION  —  REMARKS  OP  DR.  PEA- 
BODY  —  AN  ACCOMPLISHMENT  —  USELESS  TALK  —  REMARK  OP 
HANNAH  MORE  —  "WHAT  WOMEN  TALK  ABOUT"  —  MILTON  AND 
HIS  DAUGHTERS  —  BEN  JON8ON — AUTHOR  OS1  "YOUNG  WOMAN'S 
FRIEND"  —  SOCIETY  IN  ITALY— THE  OLD  LADY'S  JUDGMENT  — 
EMPTY  VESSELS  —  KNOW  HOW  TO  KEEP  SILENCE  —  OPINIONS  OP 
CICERO  AND  LORD  BACON  —  THE  MEETING  OF  GRECIAN  PHILOS- 
OPHERS —  EXTRAVAGANT  EPITHETS  —  FEMININE  SWEARING  — 
GOSSIP  —  ELIZABETH  BURNETT  —  COUNSEL  OF  THE  BIBLE  —  THE 
YOUNG  EDUCATED  BY  CONVERSATION  —  THE  GRACCHI  —  MARY 
LYON  A  GOOD  EXAMPLE  —  REMARK  OF  DR.  HITCHCOCK. 


THE  tongue  is  an  "  unruly  member,"  and  needs 
to  be  under  excellent  tuition.  It  can  be  educated 
to  perform  a  noble  and  graceful  part  in  domestic 
and  social  life,  and  become  a  means  of  success. 
Did  the  reader  ever  stop  to  reflect  upon  the  large 
amount  of  time  'that  she  spends  in  conversation  ? 
A  large  proportion  of  all  waking  hours  are  spent 
by  many  in  this  way.  So  many  hours  are  not 
devoted  to  reading,  or  meditation,  or  to  scarcely 
any  other  one  thing.  Hence  it  ought  to  become 
a  medium  of  great  good.  It  ought  to  be  an  essen- 
tial art  among  the  acquisitions  and  accomplish- 
20* 


234    THE  GOOD  GIRL  AND  TRUE  WOMAN. 

ments  of  the  female  sex.  Dr.  Peabody  said,  in  a 
lecture  before  the  members  of  the  Female  High 
School,  in  Newburyport,  a  few  years  since:  "There 
are  many  young  ladies,  released  from  the  restraints 
of  school,  and  many  older  ladies,  with  few  or  no 
domestic  burdens,  with  no  worldly  avocation  and 
na  taste  for  reading,  whose  whole  waking  life, 
either  at  their  own  homes  or  from  house  to  house, 
is  given  to  the  exercise,  for  good  or  evil,  of  the 
tongue — that  unruly  member.  And  how  blessed 
might  they  make  that  exercise,  —  for  how  many 
holy  ministers  of  love,,  sympathy,  and  chaiity 
might  it  suffice,  —  how  many  wounds  might  it 
prevent  or  heal,  —  did  they  only  believe  and  feel 
that  they  were  writing  out  their  own  characters 
in  their  daily  speech!  But  too  many  of  them 
forget  this." 

It  is  almost  impossible  to  exaggerate  the  worth 
of  the  conversational  powers  to  woman.  Properly 
disciplined  and  controlled,  they  become  a  rare 
accomplishment.  They  are  both  an  ornament  to 
female  character  and  a  passport  to  the  best  soci- 
ety. She  who  is  qualified  to  impart  a  charm  to 
the  social  circle,  by  a  graceful  and  sparkling  utter- 
ance, from  a  cultivated  and  ready  mind,  possesses 
a  grace  that  rivals  all  loveliness  of  feature.  For 
this  reason,  and  also  because  so  much  is  said 
about  the  conversation  of  females,  we  deem  it 


CONVEIISATIOX.  235 

important  to  call  the  reader's  attention  to  the 
subject.  No  doubt  some  of  the  sarcastic  and 
amusing  things  that  are  said  concerning  woman's 
tongue  are  justly  uttered ;  and  the  fact  shows 
that  it  is  a  topic  worthy  of  consideration.  "We 
have  been  struck  with  the  unanimity  of  sentiment 
with  which  different  writers  speak  of  certain  impro- 
prieties among  females,  relating  to  the  use  of  the 
tongue.  These  have  particular  reference  to  use- 
less talk,  which  prevails  especially  among  girls, 
though  their  remarks  may  refer  to  older  women. 

Says  Dr.  Peabody:  "How  many  talk  on  un- 
thinkingly and  heedlessly,  as  if  the  swift  exercise 
of  the  organs  of  speech  were  the  great  end  of 
life !  The  most  trivial  news  of  the  day,  the  con- 
cerns of  the  neighborhood,  the  floating  gossip, 
whether  good-natured  or  malignant,  dress,  food, 
frivolous  surmises,  paltry  plans,  vanities  too  light 
to  remain  an  hour  upon  the  memory,  —  these  are 
the  sole  staple  of  what  too  many  call  conversa- 
tion ;  and  many  are  the  young  people  who  are 
training  themselves  in  the  use  of  speech  for  no 
higher  or  better  purpose." 

Hannah  More  says :  "  Young  ladies,  whose 
sprightliness  has  not  been  disciplined  by  a  coi> 
rect  education,  consider  how  things  may  be  pret- 
tily said,  rather  than  how  they  may  be  prudently 
or  seasonably  spoken ;  and  willingly  hazard  being 


236          THE    GOOD   GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

thought  wrong,  or  rash,  or  vain,  for  the  chance 
of  being  reckoned  pleasant." 

A  writer,  in  a  recent  number  of  Harper's 
Monthly,  discusses  the  topic,  "WHAT  WOMEN 
TALK  ABOUT  ; "  and  says,  "  Women  can  talk  well, 
there  is  no  doubt;  but  do  they 2  In  the  first 
place,  what  do  they  talk  much  about?  Firstly, 
DRESS.  Secondly,  EACH  OTHER.  Thirdly,  SER- 
VANTS." This  division  indicates  the  tone  of  his 
remarks,  which  are  severely  cutting  upon  a  pre- 
vailing evil  in  female  society.  "This  talk,"  he 
says,  'Us  generally  so  vapid,  so  wanting  in  all 
that  is  fanciful,  in  the  best  sense  of  that  word  — 
so  false  in  taste  —  that  we  would  almost  repudiate 
the  subject;  and  while  we  would  beg  that  dress 
might  always  be  handsome  and  appropriate,  we 
would  almost  ask  that  it  might  never  again  be 
spoken  of." 

Milton,  the  immortal  poet,  had  three  daughters, 
neither  of  whom  was  instructed  in  any  but  the 
English  language.  On  being  asked  why  he  ob- 
jected to  their  studying  the  languages,  he  replied 
that  "one  tongue  was  enough  for  a  woman."  It 
was  a  severe  thrust  at  female  loquacity. 

Ben  Jonson  has  a  play  called  "The  Silent 
Woman,"  who  turns  out  to  be  a  great  clownish 
boy.  He  implies  thereby  that  a  silent  woman 
cannot  be  found. 


CONVERSATION.  237 

The  author  of  «  The  Young  Woman's  Friend  " 
says  :  "  Hence,  when  a  company  of  gentlemen  and 
ladies  are  met  for  an  evening's  social  intercourse, 
the  conversation  often  takes  the  most  trivial  and 
profitless  turn.  Men  abandon  the  discussion  of 
great  and  important  subjects,  and  lower  the  theme 
down  to  the  trivialities  of  life  and  the  little  tattle 
of  the  day.  No  greater  insult  can  be  paid  to 
woman ;  and  yet  there  is  none  which  she  oftener 
invites  by  her  own  folly." 

Nor  is  this  a  characteristic  of  female  society  in 
America  alone ;  for  a  distinguished  female  writer, 
who  speaks  from  actual  observation,  says :  "  In 
Italian  circles,  I  have  found  the  conversation  very 
superficial,  consisting  much  of  playful  and  not 
ungraceful  trifling  on  subjects  of  traditional  gal- 
lantry (from  which,  by  the  by,  the  clergy  is  by 
no  means  excluded),  and  of  the  topics  of  the  day, 
treated  much  in  the  style,  of  a  court  journal.  The 
comings  and  goings  of  illustrious  personages,  the 
changes  in  the  genealogical  calendar,  accidents 
by  flood  and  fire,  theatres,  singers,  and,  though 
last  not  least,  the  ballet,  —  these  are  the  points 
round  which  conversation  perpetually  revolves. 
Now  and  then  one  sees  a  group  whispering  to- 
gether on  matters  of  greater  importance,  and  from 
such  a  one  there  can  occasionally  be  gleaned  intel- 
ligence not  to  be  found  in  books  or  papers." 


238          THE    GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

Are  these  writers  too  severe  in  their  criticisms  ? 
If  not,  then  here  is  an  evil  that  needs  to  be  rem- 
edied. The  attention  of  girls  ought  to  be  called 
to  the  subject,  in  order  that  their  womanhood 
may  avoid  this  cause  of  reproach.  It  is  often  the 
case  that  females  defeat  their  influence  over  others 
simply  by  the  manner  of  using  their  tongues.  It 
was  only  the  other  day  that  an  excellent  pious 
woman  visited  a  family  where  an  aged  female 
friend  was  staying.  The  visitor  was  intelligent, 
but  talkative.  The  aforesaid  old  lady  spent  two 
or  three  hours  in  her  company,  and  on  being 
asked,  subsequently,  how  she  liked  her,  she  re- 
plied, "What  an  everlasting  talker!"  It  was 
very  easy  to  see  that  the  visitors  intelligence 
and  true  excellence  of  character  did  not  impress 
her,  on  account  of  the  style  of  her  conversation. 
It  is  much  worse  where  females  lack  both  knowl- 
edge and  piety,  and  therefore  talk  only  about  the 
most  trivial  and  senseless  things.  There  is  much 
of  this  in  the  society  of  young  ladies  at  the  present 
day.  As  if  it  were  not  consistent  with  their  rules 
of  etiquette  to  be  silent  at  times,  or  to  converse 
upon  topics  that  will  improve  the  mind,  their 
tongues  run  on  about  things  that  are  next  to 
nothing  in  importance. 

Now,  this  should.be  avoided.  It  is  not  only  a 
waste  of  time,  but  it  weakens  and  stultifies  the 


CONVERSATION.  239 

n 

powers  of  the  mind.  The  mind  is  strengthened 
by  conversation  upon  useful  themes  —  subjects  that 
demand  thought  and  reflection.  Nor  is  excessive 
talking  any  evidence  of  mental  ability.  We  fre- 
quently meet  with  young  women  who  appear  to 
be  talkative  because  they  think  it  is  evidence  of  a 
bright  intellect.  But  they  are  mistaken.  "  Empty 
vessels  give  out  the  loudest  sound,"  is  a  maxim 
that  may  be  justly  applied  to  many  loquacious 
people.  Sometimes  a  respectful  silence  indicates 
far  better  breeding,  and  more  real  intelligence, 
than  hours  of  talk. 

"  I  never,  with  important  air, 
In  conversation  overbear; 
My  tongue  within  my  lips  I  rein, 
For  who  talks  much  must  talk  in  vain." 

-  It  is  a  part  of  the  art  of  conversation  to  know 
when  to  keep  silence.  This  was  the  opinion  of 
Cicero  and  Lord  Bacon.  They  thought  that  the 
modes  of  silence  were  nearly  as  important  as  the 
modes  of  speech  ;  and  that  a  woman  often  appears 
to  better  advantage  by  profound  attention,  than 
by  forwardness  in  conversation.  One  of  them  was 
wont  to  relate  a  story  of  some  "Grecian  philoso- 
phers, who  held  a  meeting  before  a  foreign  ambas- 
sador. Each  one  exerted  himself  to  appear  bril- 
liant in  conversation,  that  the  ambassador  might 


240         THE   GOOD    GIRL    AND    TKETE    WOMAN. 

have  much  to  say  to  his  prince  of  Grecian  wisdom. 
One  of  the  number,  mortified  by  the  extreme  lo- 
quacity of  his  companions,  preserved  a  profound 
silence.  At  length  the  ambassador  turned  to  him, 
and  inquired,  "But  what  have  you  to  say,  that 
I  may  report  it  ?  "  The  silent  philosopher  replied  : 
"Tell  your  king  that  you  have  found  one  among 
the  Greeks  who  knew  how  to  be  silent."  The 
incident  teaches  an  important  lesson. 

Some  girls  are  quite  disposed  to  employ  extrav- 
agant epithets  in  expressing  their  views  of  vari- 
ous things.  "Did  you  notice  Mrs.  B 's  new 

shawl,  last  Sabbath  ?  "  inquired  one  young  lady 
of  another;  "wasn't  it  splendid?" — "Yes;  it  was 
perfectly  magnificent!  I  never  saw  anything  like 
it,"  was  the  reply.  "What  a  horrid  bonnet  Miss 

M had  on,  at  church  ! "  exclaimed  another 

young  woman.  "  A  complete  scarecrow ! "  re- 
sponded the  other.  This  style  of  conversation  is 
not  feminine.  It  becomes  the  bar-room  better 
than  the  parlor.  Pretty  is  a  better  word  than 
splendid,  homely  than  horrid,  and  beautiful  than 
magnificent,  in  the  connection  in  which  they  are 
used.  Such  exaggeration  should  be  avoided. 

Girls  should  Mso  avoid  swearing  in  conversa- 
tion. The  reader  need  not  be  startled  by  this  ad- 
vice ;  fot  some  young  ladies,  who  consider  them- 
selves superior  to  many  others,  employ  a  class  of 


CONVERSATION.       .  241 

"* 

epithets  which  well  deserve  the  appellation  of 
feminine  profanity.  Such  are  the  words,  gra- 
cious, mercy,  vow,  goodness,  zounds,  and  others 
like  them.  If  not  so  wicked,  they  are  nearly  as 
unbecoming  to  women  as  the  vile  oaths  of  the 
bar-room  are  to  men.  They  should  never  be  used 
by  girls  in  any  circumstances. 

The  common  gossip  of  female  society  should 
be  avoided.  That  there  is  more  of  this  among 
females  than  there  is  among  males,  is  very  gen- 
erally conceded.  It  probably  arises  from  the  fact 
that  women  visit  more,  and  have  no  definite  pur- 
suits to  occupy  their  minds.  Hence,  gossip  very 
naturally  gains  ground. 

Both  sexes  are  prone  to  scandal,  and  gossip 
promotes  it.  It  seems  natural  for  them  to  talk 
about  one  another,  and  criticize  their  dress,  man- 
ners, and  characters.  Hints,  inuendos,  surmises, 
and  expressed  suspicions,  have  done  much  mis- 
chief in  this  way.  Sometimes  a  hint  does  more 
injury,  and  becomes  a  graver  slander,  than  a  direct 
charge.  Yet  persons  who  do  not  intend  to  slan- 
der indulge  in  hints.  Here  is  a  cause  of  many 
neighborhood  difficulties  and  personal  alienations. 
Perhaps  it  is  within  the  bounds  of  truth  to  assert 
that  a  very  large  proportion  of  social  troubles 
spring  from  the  conversation  of  individuals.  A 
single  imprudent  or  scandalous  word  has  thrown  a 

21 


242          THE    GOOD   CURL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

whole  neighborhood  into  commotion.  The  tattle 
of  one  woman  at  a  village  sewing-circle  has  made 
difficulty  throughout  a  whole  congregation.  How 
great  a  matter  a  little  fire  kindleth ! 

It  is  impossible  for  a  tattler  to  fulfil  some  of  the 
requirements  of  female  duty  mentioned  in  the 
foregoing  pages.  This  propensity  generally  en- 
genders other  disagreeable  qualities,  that  hinder  a 
good  influence  at  home  and  abroad.  A  female 
like  Elizabeth  Burnett  is  much  more  likely  to  bless 
the  world.  It  was  said  of  her,  "  that  if  any  person 
were  spoken  against  in  company  where  she  was, 
she  would,  if  there  was  room  for  it,  take  pains  to 
vindicate  or  excuse  them,  or  else  turn  off  the  dis- 
course to  some  other  subject." 

The  Scriptures  frequently  speak  of  this  subject, 
as  if  it  were  'one  of  great  importance.  "  Be  swift 
to  hear,  and  slow  to  speak."  "Let  your  speech  be 
always  with  grace  seasoned  with  salt."  "Thou 
shalt  not  go  up  and  down  as  a  tale-bearer,  among 
the  children  of  thy  people."  "  A  tale-bearer  re- 
vealeth  secrets."  "  Where  no  wood  is,  the  fire 
goeth  out ;  and  where  there  is  no  tale-bearer,  the 
strife  ceaseth."  " "  Let  your  conversation  be  as  be- 
cometh  the  Gospel  of  Christ."  "Be  an  example  of 
believers  in  conversation."  In  such  language  this 
subject  is  presented  in  the  Word  of  God.  The 
reader  must  infer  therefrom  that  the  use  of  the 


CONVERSATION.  243 

tongue  is  a  matter  of  no  trivial  account.  Not 
merely  as  an  item  of  manners,  but  as  a  moral  con- 
sideration, it  is  of  great  moment. 

A  careful  observation  will  convince  any  one 
that  conversation  exerts  an  educational  influence 
upon  those  who  participate  in  it.  Children  gener- 
ally converse  after  the  manner  of  their  parents, 
/and  pupils  of  their  teachers.  Hence,  too,  we  find 
"certain  styles  of  conversation  to  prevail  in  certain 
districts,  and  even  in  certain  circles  of  the  same 
districts.  How  soon  a  young  man  will  become 
assimilated  to  companions  in  his  manner  of  speech ! 
Let  him  enter  the  company  of  the  reckless  and 
profane,  and  how  soon  he  learns  to  tip  his  senten- 
ces with  an  oath !  The  same  is  true  of  girls.  Let 
one  of  them  become  the  companion  of  the  gay 
and  frivolous,  and  soon  the  drift  of  her  conversa- 
tion will  relate  to  dress,  finery,  and  trifles  gener- 
ally. Here  is  education  —  a  direct  influence  to 
control  the  thoughts  and  mould  the  character. 

It  appears  from  the  writings  of  distinguished 
Romans,  that  the  GRACCHI  were  educated  by  the 
conversation  of  their  mother,  Cornelia.  Cicero 
says :  "  We  have  read  the  letters  of  Cornelia,  the 
mother  of  the  Gracchi,  from  which  it  appears  that 
the  sons  were  educated  not  so  much  in  the  lap 
of  the  mother  as  by  her  conversation"  This  is 
proof  that  there  is  moulding  influence  in  the  art 


244  THE   GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

of  conversing  well ;  and  girls  should  understand 
it,  that  their  riper  years  may  not  incur  the  guilt 
of  idle  words.  "But  I  say  unto  you,  That  every 
idle  word  that  men  shall  speak,  they  shall  give 
account  thereof  in  the  day  of  judgment." 

Mary  Lyon  is  a  good  example  of  sensible  con- 
versation. She  never  conversed  about  nothing. 
Strangers  were  always  impressed  by  her  manner 
of  speaking.  Dr.  Hitchcock,  speaking  of  her  trav- 
elling in  behalf  of  the  Seminary  she  founded, 
says:  "She  did  not  talk  louder  than  many  fashion- 
ably dressed  boarding-school  girls  do  in  public 
conveyances, — the  difference  being  that  the  latter 
inform  the  company  of  their  own  personal  affairs, 
while  she  discussed  principles  as  enduring  as  the 
human  race,  and  as  vital  to  human  welfare  as  they 
are  enduring.  Many  a  man  can  say, '  I  saw  Miss 
Lyon  once  j  I  met  her  in  the  stage  coach ;  an  orig- 
inal character,  quite.'  One  young  lady  certainly 
enjoyed  her  instruction  the  first  year  of  the  school, 
in  consequence  of  such  a  casual  interview  of  her 
father  with  Miss  Lyon.  The  father  had  penetra- 
tion enough  to  discover  that  she  understood  fe- 
male education,  and  .could  so  train  young  women 
in  the  way  they  should  go,  that  when  they  were 
old  they  would  not  depart  from  it." 

Again,  he  says,  "  Her  great  readiness  in  conver- 
sation, and  generous  warmth  of  heart,  adapted  her 


CONVERSATION.  245 

to  become  the  life  of  a  social  circle.  But,  so  full 
of  labors  were  her  days,  that  she  could  not  devote 
as  much  time  to  social  intercourse  as  she  could 
have  wished.  Yet,  wherever  known,  she  was 
ever  a  welcome  guest ;  and  she  always  delighted 
to  make  those  happy  with  whom  she  associated." 

21* 


CHAPTER   XXII. 


INDU8TEY. 


CKTIDO'S    PICTURE  —  MART    LYON    AN    EXAMPLE    OF    INDUSTRY  — 
MODE  OP  RECREATING  —  BOYS    MORE    INDUSTRIOUS    THAN    GIRLS 

—  A      PABLE  —  INFLUENCE     OP     INDUSTRY     ON      THE      HEART  — 
WORDS  OP  BISHOP   HALL  —  GREAT  WASTE  OP  TIMR  AMONG  GIRLS 

—  AN  ESTIMATE — REMARK  OP  BISHOP  TAYLOR  —  RESULT  IP  ALL 
WERB     INDUSTRIOUS  —  THE    CHINESE    EMPEROR  —  A    DAUGHTER 
WHO  AIDS  HER  MOTHER — TEXTS  OP  SCRIPTURE. 


GUIDO,  in  one  of  his  famous  pictures,  represents 
a  pious  and  lovely  maiden  industriously  employed, 
while  she  is  attended  by  two  guardian  angels. 
The'  idea  which  he  designed  to  convey  by  the 
painting  was,  that  innocence  and  industry  are  twin 
qualities,  one  and  inseparable,  and  only  those  who 
help  themselves  can  receive  assistance  from  above. 

Mary  Lyon  answers  to  the  maiden  in  Guido's 
picture.  As  we  have  seen  already,  she  was  ever 
busily  employed,  and  God  sent  his  heralds  of  good 
to  bless  her  active  life.  She  believed,  with  Lord 
Bacon,  "  that  in  this  theatre  of  life  it  is  reserved 
only  for  God  and  angels  to  be  lookers-on ; "  and 
therefore  she  labored  with  all  her  might.  Dr. 


INDUSTRY.  247 

Hitchcock  beautifully  says :  "  A  sound  mind  in  a 
sound  body  was  her  birthright.  But  be  who 
breathed  into  her  clay  so  much  more  vital  fire  than 
he  commonly  sees  fit  to  bestow  upon  an  individual, 
next  adapted  her  outward  circumstances  to  its  safe 
keeping.  She  was  not  born  to  ease  and  affluence. 
She  was  not  cradled  on  down.  She  did  not  tread 
on  soft  carpets,  loll  on  cushioned  sofas,  ride  at  first 
in  her  basket  cradle,  and  afterwards  in  a  coach. 
So  doing  and  faring,  she  might  by  middle  age, 
have  become  so  enervated  in  body  and  mind  as 
•  scarce  to  adventure  to  set  the  sole  of  her  foot  upon 

the  ground  for  delicateness  and  tenderness ;  . 

"  As  Mary  grew  in  strength,  she  was  busily  and 
laboriously  employed.  She  knew  what  it  was  to 
labor,  working  with  her  own  liands.  Her  far- 
sighted  mother  had  no  drones  in  that  little  hive. 
She  worked  in  the  most  agreeable  of  all  circum- 
stances—  in  the  society  and  under  the  eye  of  that 
cheerful,  capable,  sensible  mother.  Up  with  the 
lark,  from  sunrise  to  sunset  she  went  from  one  sort 
of  work  to  another,  never  tired,  never  unhappy, 
never  discontented.  How  beautifully  she  always 
spoke  of  woman's  sphere  of  labor !  '  So  much 
variety,  such  pleasant  work ! '  she  used  to  say ; 
fso  unlike  the  monotonous  task  of  drawing  out 
the  waxed  end,  or  driving  the  peg  all  day  long.'  " 
She  could  never  have  performed  so  much  physi- 


248  THE   GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

cal  and  mental  labor  as  she  did,  from  the  age  of 
fourteen,  without  the  habit  of  unwearied  industry. 
Indolent  school-girls  are  not  inclined  to  study  till 
twelve  o'clock  at  night,  week  after  week ;  nor  to 
rise  with  the  sun  to  renew  their  tasks ;  neither 
are  they  disposed  to  engage  heartily  in  manual 
employment  in  order  to  obtain  the  means  of  de- 
fraying their  expenses  at  school.  There  must  be 
some  love  of  work  where  there  is  so  much  ear- 
nestness in  its  prosecution.  There  is  no  doubt  that 
industry  did  much  to  make  Mary  Lyon  the  scholar 
and  true  woman  that  she  was.  She  appeared  to 
believe,  she  certainly  proved,  the  truth  of  the 
lines : 

"  Work  I  and  thon  shalt  bless  the  day, 

Ere  th y  task  be  done ; 
They  that  work  not,  cannot  pray — 
Cannot  feel  the  sun. 

Worlds  thou  mayest  possess  with  health 

And  unslumbering  powers ; 
Industry  alone  is  wealth,  — 

What  we  do  is  ours." 

We  have  been  struck  with  one  fact  of  her  life  — 
she  never  sought  amusements  on  the  plea  that  they 
were  necessary  to  health.  How  many  girls,  and 
older  persons,  say,  '  "We  must  have  amusements  for 
the  health  of  body  and  mind.  It  will  not  do  to 


INDUSTRY.  249 

J| 

tax. the  physical  and  mental  powers  incessantly, 
for  they  will  break  down ' !  And,  with  this  plea, 
they  indulge  in  the  popular  amusements  of  the 
day.  Mary  Lyon's  course  from  girlhood  proves 
the  falsity  of  this  view,  and  establishes  the  truth 
of  our  own  position,  in  a  previous  chapter,  on  amuse- 
ments. She  never  indulged  in  vain  and  useless 
pleasures  for  necessary  recreation,  but  found  it  in 
employments  of  another  character ;  so  that,  when 
she  was  seeking  relaxation,  it  was  always  in  a  way 
that  still  preserved  her  habits  of  industry.  Her 
recreation  was  derived  more  from  a  variety  of 
useful  labors  than  from  any  mere  amusement. 

It  is  quite  evident  that  boys  are  generally  more 
industrious  than  girls.  It  is  not  unusual  to  see  the 
latter  living,  week  after  week,  and  month  after 
month,  with  nothing  to  do.  The  fault  may  not  be 
theirs  so  much  as  it  is  that  of  social  customs.  They 
are  educated  in  indolent  habits,  in  many  instances. 
At  the  same  time,  parents  teach  their  sons  that 
idleness  is  the  cause  of  much  mischief.  They  say, 
with  the  Turks,  "  the  devil  tempts  all  other  men, 
but  idle  men  tempt  the  devil."  They  entreat  them 
to  be  industrious  —  to  avoid  the  idle  moments  of 
the  loafer.  Why  is  not  industry  as  important  to 
girls  ?  If  it  tend  to  improve  the  body  and  mind, 
by  keeping  them  employed  in  doing  useful  things, 
will  it  not  do  this  for  the  female  sex  ?  If  idleness 


250  THE    GOOD   GIUL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

enervates  the  mind  of  a  young  man,  will  it  not  also 
enervate  that  of  a  young  woman  ?  These  are 
questions  that  demand  candid  replies.  In  answer- 
ing them,  the  reader  will  perceive  that  industry  is 
essential  to  the  well-being  and  successful  influ- 
ence of  woman.  All  that  can  be  said  of  it  as  an 
indispensable  requisite  for  boys,  may  be  spoken  as 
truly  of  girls. 

"We  are  told,  in  a  fable,  of  a  dying  man  who  said 
to  his  sons,  "  My  children,  I  am  now  departing 
from  this  life ;  but  all  that  I  have  to  leave  you,  you 
will  find  in  the  vineyard."  They  supposed  that 
their  father  referred  to  some  hidden  treasure,  and, 
after  his  death,  they  commenced  digging  for  it. 
They  dug.  and  dug,  day  after  day,  and  not  only 
turned  over  the  whole  soil  of  the  vineyard,  but 
turned  it  several  times  over.  No  treasure/was 
found,  however.  But  the  vines  were  so  much 
strengthened  and  improved  by  the  labor  expended 
upon  the  soil,  that  they  yielded  a  finer  vintage  than 
ever  before.  Their  industry  proved  a  treasure  in 
itself.  The  incident  furnishes  us  with  an  illustra- 
tion of  the  benefit  of  industry  to  girls  in  develop- 
ing the  powers  which  they  possess.  The  good 
derived  therefrom  is  not  merely  physical  and  secu- 
lar; it  is  also  intellectual  and  moral.  The  mind 
grows  by  thinking  upon  useful  subjects;  and,  when 
the  girl  is  employed  in  useful  work,  her  mind,  of 


INDUSTRY. 


course,  is  dwelling  thereon.  "When  she  is  idle,  her 
jnind  is  vacant  and  thoughtless.  The  influence  on 
the  heart  is  still  more  striking.  Industry  pre- 
serves the  heart  from  corruption.  It  leaves  smaller 
opportunities  for  the  tempter  to  try  his  arts.  The 
most  industrious  girls  have  usually  the  most  excel- 
lence, other  things  being  equal.  Says  Bishop  Hall, 
"  The  industrious  have  no  leisure  to  sin  ;  the  idle 
have  neither  leisure  nor  power  to  avoid  sin.  Exer- 
cise is  not  more  wholesome  for  the  body  than  for 
the  soul ;  the  remission  whereof  breeds  matter  of 
disease  in  both.  The  water  that  hath  been  heated 
soonest  freezeth.  The  most  active  spirit  soonest 
tireth  with  slackening.  The  earth  stands  still,  and 
is  all  dregs ;  the  heavens  ever  move,  and  are  pure. 
We  have  no  reason  to  complain  of  the  assiduity 
of  the  work ;  the  toil  of  action  is  answered  by  the 
benefit ;  if  we  did  less  we  should  suffer  more.  Sa- 
tan, like  an  idle  companion,  if  he  finds  us  busy, 
flies  back,  and  sees  it  no  time  to  entertain  vain 
purposes  with  us.  We  cannot  please  him  better 
than,  by  casting  away  our  work,  to  hold  chat  with 
him ;  we  cannot  yield  so  far,  and  be  guiltless." 

There  is  a  great  waste  of  time,  which  Antipho 
called  "  the  greatest  of  all  sacrifices,"  among 
girls,  even  when  they  cannot  be  said  strictly  to 
be  idle.  They  are  scarcely  aware  of  the  number 
of  precious  moments  that  are  lost  on  account  of 


252  THE    GOOD   GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

the  slight  importance  they  attach  to  habits  of  in- 
dustry. Many  of  them  will  labor  with  zeal  when 
they  can  earn  large  wages,  and  refuse  to  labor  at 
all  when  their  earnings  would  be  small.  It  is 
better  for  them  to  be  industrious,  even  though 
the  fruits  thereof  will  not  pay  their  board,  than  to 
be  idle.  No  one  can  afford  to  be  idle.  All  things 
considered,  it  is  a  most  expensive  vice.  But  many 
girls,  not  appreciating  the  habit  of  industry,  throw 
away  weeks  of  precious  time  every  year.  The 
loss  o/f  a  single  hour  per  day  is  thought  little  of 
by  a  multitude ;  yet  this  amounts  to  three  hun- 
dred and  sixty-five  hours,  or  thirty  days,  of  twelve 
hours  each,  in  one  year.  In  fifty  years  it  runs  up 
to  more  than  four  years  of  time  —  all  wasted,  and 
worse  than  wasted !  If  time  be  a  God-given 
talent,  for  the  improvement  of  which  each  person 
is  responsible,  a  fearful  reckoning  awaits  those  who 
are  thus  prodigal  of  it.  A  person  may  lose  a 
dollar,  and  replace  it  by  doubling  his  diligence ; 
but  who  can  replace  a  lost  moment  ?  Who  can 
restore  a  wasted  hour  ?  None.  Every  such  frag- 
ment of  time  is  so  much  of  responsible  life  thrown 
away,  as  if  it  were  valueless. 

Bishop  Taylor  very  beautifully  describes  the 
value  of  time  in  this  connection.  "It  is  very 
remarkable  that  God,"  he  says,  "who  giveth  plen- 
teous to  all  creatures,  hath  scattered  the  firma- 


INDUSTRY.  253 

raent  with  stars,  as  a  man  sows  corn  in  his  fields, 
in  a  multitude  bigger  than  the  capacities  of  human 
order;  he  hath  made  so  much  variety  of  creatures, 
and  gives  us  great  choice  of  meats  and  drinks, 
although  any  of  both  kinds  would  have  answered 
our  needs;  and  so  in  all  instances  of  nature.  Yet, 
in  the  distribution  of  our  time,  God  seems  to  be 
strait-handed,  and  gives  it  to  us,  not  as  nature 
gives  us  rivers  enough  to  drown  us,  but  drop  by 
drop,  minute  after  minute,  so  that  we  never  can 
have  two  minutes  together,  but  he  takes  away  the 
first  before  he  gives  the  second.  This  should 
teach  us  to  value  our  time,  since  God  so  values 
it,  and  by  this  so  small  distribution  of  it,  tells  us 
it  is  the  most  precious  thing  we  have." 

It  has  been  said,  that  if  each  member  of  the 
human  family  performed  his  part  of  the  labor  of 
the  world,  no  one  would  be  obliged  to  over  work. 
But,  owing  to  the  indolence  of  many,  others  are 
obliged  to  tax  their  strength  excessively.  Per- 
haps this  is  truer  of  the  female  than  of  the  male 
sex;  for  the  indolence  which  fashion  requires  in 
affluent  circles,  has  to  be  atoned  for  by  the  in- 
creased labors  of  the  poor.  The  idleness  of  one 
portion  creates  toil  and  suffering  for  the  other. 
A  Chinese  emperor  was  so  convinced  of  this,  that 
he  issued  an  edict  against  idleness,  saying,  "  That 
if  one  person  was  idle,  some  one  must  suffer  cold 
22 


254          THE   GOOD    GIBL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

or  hunger  in  consequence,  as  each  individual  had 
his  allotted  work  to  perform ;  and  if  he  failed  in 
his  duty,  some  one  else  was  called  upon  to  fulfil 
his  neglect."  On  this  account  he  forbade  idle- 
ness, and  punished  all  incorrigible  offenders  se- 
verely. 

Occasionally  we  meet  with  a  daughter,  of  indus- 
trious habits,  whose  study  and  aim  it  is  to  relieve 
the*  care-worn  mother.  It  is  a  pleasant  spectacle. 
Contrasted  with  some  girls,  who  leave  every- 
thing in  the  family  to  be  performed  by  the  mother, 
avoiding  all  the  domestic  labor  possible,  it  is  a 
very  beautiful  sight.  It  indicates  the  possession 
of  good  sense,  true  affection,  and  moral  principle. 
Such  a  daughter  is  a  blessing  to  her  parents.  She 
aids  in  keeping  the  spring  of  domestic  felicity 
full  and  free.  A  dull,  lifeless,  indolent  daughter, 
must  be  a  cause  of  much  misery  to  her  mother. 
What  the  thorn  in  the  flesh  was  to  Paul,  that 
she  is  to  her  toiling  and  weary  parent.  Let  the 
reader  avoid  her  example  as  unbecoming  and 
sinful. 

"  Slothfulness  casteth  into  a  deep  sleep ;  and  an 
idle  soul  shall  suffer  hunger." 

"  The  slothful  saith,  There  is  a  lion  without,  I 
shall  be  slain  in  the  streets!"  So  life  becomes 
a  failure. 

"  The  sleep  of  a  laboring  man  is  sweet." 


INDUSTRY.  255 

"  The  hand  of  the  diligent  shall  bear  rule." 

"  He  that  tilleth  his  land  shall  be  satisfied  with 
bread." 

"  Study  to  be  quiet,  and  to  de  your  own  busi- 
ness, and  to  work  with  your  own  hands,  as  we 
commanded  you!  If  any  man  will  not  work, 
neither  let  him  eat." 

"And,  withal,  they  learn  to  be  idle,  wandering 
about  from  house  to  house ;  and  not  only  idle, 
but  tattlers  also,  and  busy  bodies,  speaking  things 
which  they  ought  not." 

"The  thoughts  of  the  diligent  tend  only  to 
plenteousness." 


CHAPTER    XXIII. 

SPAKE      MOMENTS. 

SIRLB  HAVE  MORE  SPARE  MOMENTS  THAN  BOYS  —  THREE  HUNDRED 
AND  SIXTY-FOUR  THOUSAND  PAGES  IN  TEN  TEAKS  —  THE  POOR 
WIDOW  —  GIRLS  OB1  SIMILAR  8PIEIT  DO  MUCH  —  TIME  GIVEN  TO 

NEEDLE-WORK,   MUSIC,   PAINTING,   ETC THE  STUDIOUS  YOUTH, 

AND  ONE  HOUR  A  DAT  —  ELIZABETH  GRAY,  WIPE  OF  RICHEST 
MAN  IN  MASSACHUSETTS  —  WHAT  IS  SEEN  IN  EVERY  COMMU- 
NITY—  THE  LIGHT  *BOAT  AND  GAY  LADY  —  WISHING  FOB  PLEAS- 
URE—  REMARKS  OF  DR.  ALCOTT  —  MARY  LYON  ON  WASTING 
TIME  —  SEVEN  WAYS  OF  MISSPENDING  TIME  —  HER  EXAMPLE 
GOOD. 

GIRLS  usually  have  more  spare  moments  than 
boys,  as  intimated  in  the  last  chapter.  Many  who 
continue  to  reside  with  their  parents,  have  several 
hours  at  their  command  each  day.  Some  spend 
these  hours  in  fancy  work,  music,  and  idleness. 
With  not  a  few  it  may  be  almost  a  study  'how  to 
kill  time.  Spare  moments  are  those  that  drag 
most  heavily  with  them.  Rightly  improved,  they 
might  contribute  largely  to  intellectual  and  moral 
advancement.  Without  any  additional  time  for 
reading^  or  errands  of  mercy,  the  leisure  hours 
which  some  girls  have  are  sufficient  for  very  supe- 


SPARE   MOMENTS.  257 

rior  acquisitions.  It  is  not  extravagant  to  say 
that  many  young  ladies  have  leisure  enough  to 
read  a  hundred  pages  a  day.  What  an  oppor- 
tumity  for  mental  culture  and  religious  improve- 
ment !  Seven  hundred  pages  per  week !  Thirty- 
six  thousand  four  hundred  pages  in  a  year!  Three 
hundred  sixty-four  thousand  pages  in  ten  years! 
About  one  hundred  volumes  a  year,  of  four  hun- 
dred pages  each!  Nearly  one  thousand  volumes 
of  this  size  in  ten  years !  This  estimate  may  serve 
to  show  that  many  young  women  have  no  excuse 
for  ignorance,  since  their  spare  moments  are  suffi- 
cient, when  improved,  to  render  them  very  intel- 
ligent. ?  .'OS. 
Or,  suppose  these  leisure  hours  were  devoted 
to  some  object  of  benevolence,  —  that  the  young 
woman  should  employ  them  in  earning  the  means 
to  aid  in  carrying  on  some  good  work  at  home  or 
abroad.  With  the  spirit  of  an  excellent  woman, 
of  whom  a  clergyman  wrote  in  a  Boston  paper 
in  1851,  she  would  be  able  to  bless  thousands  of 
the  neglected  around  her,  and  of  the  perishing 
on  distant  shore?.  That  self-denying  woman  was 
a  poor  widow,  obliged  to  support  herself  and 
four  children  by  daily  toil.  The  church  to  which 
she  belonged  was  in  a  depressed  condition,  —  a 
flock  without  a  shepherd.  For  some  time  there 
was  no  religious  service,  and  this  good  lady  was 
22* 


258          THE    GOOD   GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

distressed  on  account  of  their  condition.  She 
spread  their  case  before  the  Lord,  and  earnestly 
besought  him  to  appear  for  them.  As  a  pledge 
of  her  sincerity,  she  promised  to  devote  the  two 
hours  between  nine  and  eleven  o'clock  at  night 
to  labor,  the  avails  of  which  should  be  consecrated 
to  the  support  of  the  gospel.  Most  zealously  did 
she  toil  thereafter,  when  her  children  were  quietly 
sleeping  in  their  beds,  for  this  noble  object.  Nor 
was  it  long  before  God  sent  the  prayed-for  preacher. 
She  continued  to  redeem  the  two  hours  nightly 
from  sleep  for  the  sake  of  sustaining  the  public 
worship  of  God,  and  the  fruits  of  her  labors  were 
not  small. 

Now,  we  say  that  many  young  ladies  with  such 
a  spirit  would  be  able  to  make  large  contribu- 
tions to  benevolent  causes,  simply  by  improving 
their  leisure  moments.  They  would  be  surprised 
themselves  at  the  annual  amount  that  might  be 
earned  in  this  way.  We  have  been  told  of  one 
y6ung  lady  who  devoted  one  hour  daily  to  labor 
for  charitable  purposes.  In  that  hour  she  earned 
five  cents,  which  amounted  to  thirty  cents  weekly, 
or  fifteen  dollars  and  sixty  cents  in  a  year.  This 
is  no  trifle  in  the  way  of  doing  good.  It  is  enough 
to  carry  many  of  the  leaves  of  the  tree  of  life  to 
the  perishing.  Then,  too,  what  a  charming  ex- 
ample! How  kind  and  good  the  spirit  that 


SPAKE    MOMENTS.  259 

studies  to  convert  golden  moments  into  blessings 
for  the  needy ! 

There  is  no  doubt  that  a  large  number  of  girls 
give  more  time  to  ornamental  work  and  musio 
than  they  would,  but  for  the  fact  that  they  have 
many  spare  moments.  The  subject  is  one  that 
demands  attention ;  for  sin  is  often  committed  by 
giving  too  much  attention  to  painting,  music,  and 
other  accomplishments.  It  is  not  right  for  an  im- 
mortal being,  surrounded  with  moral  misery  and 
ruin  which  she  might  relieve  in  a  measure,  to  con- 
sume so  much  of  her  time  in  fancy  work,  and 
playing  and  singing,  or  even  in  the  acquisition  of 
modern  languages.  God  has  a  claim  upon  every 
person's  time,  and  he  will  not  be  cheated  out  of 
it  with  impunity  to  the  transgressors.  We  would 
not  disparage  the  ornamental  acquirements  named. 
We  believe  in  these  elegancies  of  life.  God  him- 
self has  created  elegant  things  all  around  us. 
Nature  paints,  and  discourses  sweet  music,  yea,  she 
paints  more  beautifully,  and  sings  more  enchant- 
ingly  than  mortals  can.  Her  embroidery  and 
enamelling  are  more  perfect  than  those  of  art. 
We  love  to  feast  our  eyes  upon  these  rich  embel- 
lishments of  hers.  But  we  would  not  rob  God  of 
the  time  that  belongs  to  him.  We  would  not 
adorn  the  body  or  mind  with  elegancies  at  the 
expense  of  dishonoring  him.  Some  leisure  mo- 


260  THE    GOOD   GTKL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

ments,  at  least,  should  be  improved  for  mental  and 
moral  culture,  and  in  works  of  mercy.  It  is  the 
only  way  of  developing  a  symmetrical  character 
and  pleasing  God. 

We  have  spoken  of  the  amount  of  reading  that 
may  be  accomplished  in  leisure  moments;  and, 
since  writing  the  foregoing,  we  have  met  with  the 
following  fact: 

"There  was  once  a  lad  who,  at  fourteen,  was 
apprenticed  to  a  soap  boiler.  One  of  Ms  resolu- 
tions was  to  read  one  hour  a  day,  or  at  least  at 
that  rate ;  and  he  had  an  old  silver  watch,  left  him 
by  his  uncle,  which  he  timed  his  reading  by.  He 
stayed  seven  years  with  his  master,  and  his  master 
said  when  he  was  twenty-one  that  he  knew  as 
much  as  the  young  squire  did.  Now,  let  us  see 
how  much  time  he  had  to  read  in  seven  years,  at 
the  rate  of  an  hour  a  day.  It  would  be  twenty- 
five  hundred  and  fifty-five  hours;  which,  at  the 
rate  of  eight  reading  hours  a  day,  would  be  three 
hundred  and  nineteen  days;  equal  to  forty-five 
weeks ;  equal  to  eleven  months ;  nearly  a  year's 
•  reading.  That  time  spent  in  treasuring  up  useful 
knowledge  would  pile  up  a  very  large  store.  I 
am  sure  it  is  worth  trying  for.  Try  what  you 
can  do.  Begin  now." 

There  is  an  eminent  example  on  record  illus- 
trating this  subject.  It  is  that  of  Mrs.  Elizabeth 


i>"*   vgPAHE    MOMENTS.  261 

Gray,  who  was  the  wife  of  the  richest  man  in 
Massachusetts,  seventy  years  ago.  She  was  as 
economical  of  her  time  as  if  she  were  dependent 
upon  her  daily  labors  for  support.  Not  a  moment 
was  allowed  to  run  to  waste.  "She  divided  her 
time  between  reading,  household  affairs,  and  duties 
to  society,  in  such  a  manner  as  never  for  a  moment 
to  be  in  a  hurry."  In  this  way  no  time  was  lost. 
Every  hour  was  improved  to  advantage.  Those 
moments  which  many  women  employ  in  doing  no- 
thingj  or  gadding,  were  devoted  to  reading  and 
errands  of  mercy.  For  this  reason  she  was  con- 
stantly improving,  both  in  mind  and  heart.  Many 
of  her  sex  around  her,  having  fewer  cares  and 
equally  bright  intellects,  were  far  less  intelligent, 
simply  because  their  spare  moments  ran  to  waste. 

In  every  community  we  notice  this.  Often  we 
observe  a  mother  with  the  cares  of  a  numerous 
family  pressing -upon  her,  yet  constantly  growing 
in  intelligence,  -because  the  few  leisure  moments 
each  day  are  devoted  to  useful  reading.  Her 
neighbor,  perhaps,  may  not  possess  half  so  much 
knowledge,  though  her  leisure  time  is  greater ;  for 
she  idles  it  away,  or  consumes  it  about  useless 
things. 

Mr.  Wise  very  beautifully  expresses  the  loss  of 
these  leisure  moments  by  the  following  illustra- 
tion: "Imagine  the  spectacle  of  a  light  boat 


262          THE   GOOD   GIBL    AND   TBTJE   WOMAN. 

floating  gayly  over  a  wide,  sun-lit  sea.  It's  sole 
passenger  is  a  lovely  lady,  who  appears  to  be  sud- 
denly wakening  from  sleep.  Her  hand  is  stretched 
out  to  grasp  the  string  of  a  magnificent  pearl 
necklace,  which,  during  her  sleep,  became  un- 
fastened. One  end  is  still  hanging  about  her 
neck,  the  other  is  loosely  dangling  over  the  water. 
Pearl  after  pearl  has  slipped  off  info  the  deep 
abyss,  until  there  are  but  few  remaining.  The 
expression  on  the  lady's  brow  is  sad  and  self- 
reproachful.  Each  lost  pearl  reproves  her ;  each  re- 
maining one  reminds  her  of  those  which  are  gone  ; 
while  several  more  must  fall,  before  her  hand  can 
reach  the  string  to  save  the  small  remainder. 

"Do  you  perceive  the  idea  embodied  in  this 
beautiful  spectacle  ?  It  is  that  if  the  opportuni- 
ties of  early  life,  for  self-improvement,  are  wasted 
in  idle  day-dreams,  the  loss  can  never  be  repaired. 
Lost  opportunities  are  sunken  pearls.  Young  life 
spent  in  self-neglect  will  bring  self-reproach  in 
later  years.  Then  you  will  cry, 

'  Untaught  in  youth  my  heart  to  tame, 
My  springs  of  life  were  poisoned.'  " 

Some  women  spend  their  spare  moments  in 
visiting  for  pleasure.  Every  week,  perhaps  several 
tunes  in  the  week,  they  are  seen  making  calls,  or 


SPARE    MOMENTS.  263 

spending  the  afternoon  with  friends.  The  prac- 
tice may  not  be  objectionable  provided  the  time 
is  not  worse  than  wasted  in  talking  about  nothing 
and  bringing  nothing  to  pass.  Calls  and  visits 
may  subserve  a  good  purpose  when  the  conver- 
sation is  improving,  and  the  object  in  going  to  see 
another  is  proper.  Dr.  Alcott  has  some  very  sen- 
sible remarks  upon  this  subject,  which  we  quote 
for  the  reader's  benefit : 

"  As  to  many  forms  of  visiting  current  among 
us  —  such  as  morning  calls,  evening  parties,  and 
calls  of  any  sort  which  answer  none  of  the  real 
purposes  of  visiting  —  tending  neither  to  make 
ourselves  or  any  body  else  wiser  or  better,  but,  on 
the  contrary,  to  rnak'e  society  worse,  indirectly  — 
I  have  never  found  any  apology  for  them  which 
seemed  to  me  sufficient  to  satisfy  a  rational,  intel- 
ligent, immortal  spirit.  To  come  together  late  in 
the  evening  just  to  eat  and  drink  together  that 
which  ought  not  to  be  eaten  and  drunk  at  all  — 
or,  if  at  all,  certainly  not  at  such  an  hour ;  to  hold 
conversation  an  hour  or  two  under  the  influence 
of  some  sort  of  excitement,  physical  or  moral,  got 
tap  for  the  occasion,  on  topics  which  are  of  little 
comparative  importance  —  of  which  the  most  valu- 
able part  often  is  the  inquiry,  How  do  you  do  ? 
and  the  consequent  replies  to  it ;  to  trifle  the  time 
away  till  ten,  eleven,  or  twelve  o'clock,  and  then 


264          THE   GOOD   GIBL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

go  home  through  the  cold,  damp  atmosphere,  per- 
haps thinly  clad,  to  suffer  that  night  for  want  of 
proper  and  sufficient  sleep,  and  the  next  day  from 
indigestion,  and  a  thousand  other  evils,  —  what  can 
be  more  truly  pitiable,  not  to  say  ridiculous  ?  Nor 
is  the  practice  of  putting  on  a  new  dress  —  or  one 
which,  if  not  new,  we  are  quite  willing  to  exhibit 
—  and  of  going  to  see  our  neighbors,  and  staying 
just  long  enough  to  ask  how  they  do,  say  a  few 
stale  or  silly  things,  and  prove  an  interruption 
and  a  nuisance,  and  then  going  elsewhere  —  a 
whit  more  justifiable,  in  beings  made  in  the  image 
of  God,  and  who  are  to  be  accountable  at  his 
eternal  bar." 

Mary  Lyon  was  fully  aware  of  the  vast  amount 
of  time  wasted  little  by  little.  She  therefore 
adopted  a  plan  for  guarding  against  this  evil. 
After  her  death  a  paper  was  found  among  her 
effects,  containing,  among  other  things,  seven 
ways  of  misspending  -time,  against  which  she  was 
watchful.  They  were  as  follows : 

"  1.  Indefinite  musings. 
2.  Anticipating  needlessly. 
8.  Needless  speculations. 

4.  Indulging  in  reluctance  to  begin  a  duty. 

5.  In  doubtful  cases,  not  deciding  at  once. 

6.  Musing  needlessly  on  what  has  been  said  or 
done,  or  what  may  be. 


SPARE    MOMENTS.  265 

7.  Spending  time  in  reverie  which  should  be 
spent  in  prayer." 

A  part  of  these  wllys  of  misspending  time  are 
peculiar  to  the  young,  and  appertain  especially 
to  their  spare  moments.  Doubtless  it  was  a  happy 
decision  in  Mary  Lyon  to  watch  that  this  class 
of  minutes  should  not  be  lost.  It  must  have 
aided  her  in  achieving  the  great  amount  of  labor 
that  she  did.  Had  she  been  as  prodigal  of  time 
as  some  of  her  sex  are,  the  fruits  of  her  life  would 
have  been  far  less  abundant. 

Girls  will  do  well  to  copy  her  example.  Nor 
can  they  begin  too  soon.  The  early  habit  of 
economy  of  time,  will  show  its  best  results  in 
age. 

23 


CHAPTER    XXIV. 


OBDEB. 


A  PERT  YOUNG  MISS — MANY  GIRLS  LIKE  HER  —  ORDER  IN  LITTLE 
THINGS  —  A  DISORDERLY  GIRL  DESCRIBED  —  THE  SYSTEMATIC 
GIRL  DESCRIBED  —  NEVER  HURRIED  —  ORDER  NECESSARY  TO 
INDUSTRY  AND  ECONOMY  OF  TIME  —  ALL  GOOD  BUSINESS  MEN 
ADOPT  IT  —  LEAST  OP  IT  IN  HOUSEHOLDS  —  A  SCENE  —  THE 
WOMAN  WHOSE  HOUSE  IS  IN  CONFUSION  —  MRS.  PRIOR  —  MRS. 
SUSANNA  BENSON  —  MARY  LYOH  IN  EARLY  AND  LATER  LIFE  — 
ORDER  IN  HER  SEMINARY. 


"WHAT  have  I  to  be  orderly  about?"  exclaimed 
a  pert  miss  to  the  counsel  of  a  friend,  concerning 
order.  "I  am  neither  housekeeper,  teacher,  nor 
officer  of  a  benevolent  society.  It  will  do  well 
enough  for  such  persons,  and  for  clerks,  merchants, 
farmers,  and  agents  generally,  to  be  systematic; 
but  how  can  a  girl  like  me  be  orderly,  when  I 
have  nothing  to  order  ? "  It  is  probable  that 
many  girls  cherish  similar  views  of  this  matter, 
and,  as  a  consequence,  they  are  forming  the  habit 
of  carelessness  just  at  the  period  when  its  evil 
influence  will  be  most  deleterious  upon  the  char- 
acter. If  they  would  stop  and  reflect  for  a  mo- 
ment, they  would  see  that,  although  they  are  not 


ORDER.  267 

housekeepers  or  teachers,  there  is  much  for  them 
to  systematize.  There  are  their  own  wardrobes 
to  superintend,  and  their  own  rooms  to  arrange. 
A  good  beginning,  can  certainly  be  made  here ; 
and  such  as  girls  are  in  this  respect,  such  they 
will  generally  be  in  womanhood. 

Notice  the  difference  between  girls  in  these 
matters  of  seemingly  small  importance.  There 
is  one  who  thinks  she  has  nothing  to  systematize 
at  present,  —  resolved,  perhaps,  Jthat  when  she  is 
mistress  of  a  home  of  her  own,  she  will  arrange 
everything  according  to  the  most  approved  rules 
of  order.  Look  into  her  dressing-room.  There  is 
a  dress  on  a  chair,  another  on  the  bed ;  the  hair- 
brush is  on  the  floor,  while  soiled  collars  and 
handkerchiefs  are  scattered  about  here  and  there. 
Everything  is  in  confusion.  Instead  of  having 
"a  place  for  everything,  and  everything  in  its 
place,"  she  has  a  place  for  nothing.  •  Her  bonnet 
is  laid  in  one  place  to-day,  in  another  to-niQrrow. 
Even  her  jewelry,  if  she  has  any,  lies  here  and 
there,  on  the  bureau,  window,  and  toilet-stand. 
Of  course  she  often  loses  her  articles,  and  almost 
daily  lias  to  institute  a  search  for  some  missing 
one,  while  fretful  speeches  fall  from  her  lips,  and 
sour  expressions  of  countenance  distort  her  face. 
Disorderly  girls  are  very'  apt  to  be  fretful  at 
times.  They  complain  bitterly  of  losing  their 


268          THE    GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

articles,  but  seldom  strive  to  avoid  the  evil  by 
correcting  their  evil  habit  of  disorder.  " 

But  follow  this  girl  about  the  house,  and  you 
will  see  that  the  evil  is  still  worse.  She  puts 
things  out  of  place  almost  as  fast  as  her  ticly 
mother  adjusts  them.  "When  she  returns  from  a 
walk,  her  bonnet  and  shawl  are  thrown  into  a 
chair,  or  upon  the  dining-table.  If  she  ever 
washes  the  dishes,  she  never  arranges  them  in  the 
cupboard  according  to  her  mother's  ideas  of  order. 
They  are  placed  just  where  she  can  find  a  vacancy. 
Who  ever  saw  her  properly  arrange  the  chairs,  or 
the  books  in  the  case  ?  If  the  former  are  not  bot- 
tom side  up,  and  the  latter  are  not  lying  under  her 
feet,  she  is  satisfied.  Even  the  book  which  she 
borrowed  is  tumbled  about  the  room,  not  a  little 
the  worse  for  the  wear.  If  she  is  a  school-girl,  her 
desk  is  a  sight  to  behold.  Look  into  it  for  a  mo- 
ment, and  th«  very  books  seem  to  cry  out,  "  disor- 
der!" "disorder!"  Books,  papers,  slate,  pencils, 
etc.,  are  huddled  into  it  indiscriminately,  and  pre- 
sent a  most  chaotic  scene.  Her  dress,  too,  is  not 
always  neatly  arranged,  nor  her  hair  properly 
combed.  Sometimes  she  has  the  appearance  of  a 
person  who  has  been  out  in  a  gale,  her  hair  and 
dress  are  in  such  confusion. 

Perhaps  this  girl  is  one  who  thinks  that  she 
has  nothing  to  arrange  systematically,  because 


ORDER.  269 

she  is  not  a  housekeeper.  But,  is  it  so  ?  We 
have  said  enough  to  show  that  there  are  many 
things  about  which  she  might  observe  order  to 
great  advantage.  Moreover,  it  is  well-nigh  cer- 
tain that  her  carelessness  in  girlhood  will  follow 
her  into  womanhood.  The  slovenly  housekeeper 
was  just  such  a  girl.  If  she  had  been  systematic 
in  arranging  her  wardrobe  and  other  matters,  in 
early  life,  she  would  probably  have  been  sys- 
tematic in  the  performance  of  her  own  house- 
work. 

Notice,  now,  the  systematic  girl.  She  has  every- 
thing in  order.  Go  into  her  room,  and  you  see 
nothing  out  of  place.  The  furniture  is  well  ar- 
ranged, and  no  garments,  or  other  articles,  are 
scattered  about  the  room.  She  is  so  much  in 
the  habit  of  observing  order  in  everything,  that 
it  is  no  study  at  all  for  her  to  preserve  this  tidi- 
ness in  her  room  and  dress.  Not  even  a  pin,  or 
cushion,  or  thimble,  is  found  lying  about.  Each 
one  has  a  place,  where  it  may  always  be  found. 
When  it  is  wanted,  she  knows  where  to  look  for 
it.  She  could  find  it  in  -the  dark.  Look  into  the 
book-case,  and  every  volume  is  right  side  up,  with 
the  title  in  plain  sight,  instead  of  being  placed 
toward  the  back  part  of  the  shelf.  Examine  her 
drawers ;  how  neatly  everything  is  laid  !  Follow 
her  about  the  house,-  —  she  does  not  leave  a 
23* 


270         THE    GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

thing  just  where  she  happens  to  have  used  it.  If 
it  be  a  comb,  brush,  or  book,  it  is  carefully  replaced 
when  she  has  done  with  it.  Her  bed  is  made  at 
a  stated  tinie,  instead  of  being  left  for  any  chance 
moment  that  may  suit  her.  So  with  every  other 
duty.  She  does  one  thing  at  a  time,  which  is  the 
secret  of  doing  a  great  deal,  and.  doing  it  well. 
Some  people  are  always  busy,  yet  accomplish  less 
than  others.  They  attempt  several  things  at  a 
time,  for  want  of  system.  One  duty  jostles  an- 
other. Nothing  is  done  well,  nor  exactly  at  the 
right  time  ;  and  still  these  persons  are  always  in  a 
hurry.  Systematic  people  are  seldom  hurried  and 
confused.  Having  a  time  as  well  as  a  place,  for 
everything,  each  duty  is  performed  in  season,  and 
well.  They  have  no  lost  time  to  make  up.  At 
the  close  of  each  day  they  have  no  unperformed 
duties  burdening  their  thoughts.  It  is  so  with  our 
systematic  giri".  She  says,  with  the  wise  man, "  To 
everything  there  is  a  season,  and  a  time  for  every 
purpose  under  heaven."  Acting  accordingly,  she 
cultivates  the  quality  of  industry,  and  wastes  no 
spare  moments  in  considering  what  to  do  next. 

This  subject  has  an  important  connection  with 
those  discussed  in  the  last  two  chapters.  Order 
is  indispensable  to  effective  industry,  and  to  the 
proper  improvement  of  leisure  moments.  It  is 
one  of  the  essential  elements  of  success  in  life 


ORDER.  271 

•with  both  sexes, 'and  in  all  departments  of  labor. 
The  scholar  who  divides  his  time  between  his 
studies,  allotting  a  given  time  to  each,  accom- 
plishes the  most.  The  teacher  wh6  arranges  his 
classes  so  that  each  one  shall  occupy  so  many 
minutes,  at  precisely  such  a  time  of  the  day,  is 
the  most  successful,  other  things  being  equal. 
The  merchant  who  systematizes  his  business,  so 
that  each  clerk  performs  a  definite  part  and  keeps 
in  his  own  place,  is  usually  most  prosperous.  And 
the  mechanic  and  farmer  find  themselves  amply 
rewarded  for  introducing  order  into  their  affairs. 

• 
"Order,  thon  eye  of  action!  wanting  thee, 

Wisdom  works  hoodwink'd  in  perplexity; 

Entangled  reason  trips  at  every  pace, 

And  truth,  bespotted,  puts  on  error's  face." 

At  the  present  day,  this  systematic  division  of 
time  and  labor  is  very  generally  adopted  by  all 
successful  men  of  business.  In  the  manufacture 
of  almost  every  article  it  is  observed.  Enter  a 
piano-forte  manufactory,  and  there  each  laborer 
is  confined  to  his  part  of  the  work.  One  is  em- 
ployed upon  the  keys,  another  upon  the  case,  and 
a  third  upon  some  other  part.  So  it  is  in  almost 
every  kind  of  business.  Why,  then,  may  not  the 


272          THE   GOOD   GIBL   AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

principle  be  profitably  observed  in  the  employ- 
ments of  females  ?  Perhaps  there  is  least  of  this 
systematic  arrangement  observed  in  household 
affairs.  Many  housekeepers  have  no. definite  plan 
about  their  house-work,  except  to  keep  doing  it 
as  they  have  strength.  Sometimes,  where  there 
are  two  or  three  daughters  in  a  family,  all  of 
them,  together  with  the  mother,  are  employed  in 
getting  a  dinner.  They  cross  each  other's  paths, 
perhaps  two  hastening  to  get  the  same  article; 
and  when  the  dinner  is  ready,  the  careful  observer 
concludes  that  one  of  them  would  have  prepared 
it  in  less  time  than  the  whole.  For  the  want  of 
order,  the  time  and  labor  of  two  or  three  of  them 
are  lost. 

Occasionally  we  meet  with  a  housekeeper  whose 
habitation  is  always  in  confusion.  Visit  her  almost 
any  time  of  day,  and  you  will  find  beds  unmade, 
rooms  unswept,  and  lamps  untrimmed.  Perhaps 
she  is  baking  in  the  middle  of  the  afternoon,  be- 
cause she  has  not  had  time  to  commence  earlier. 
She  is  full  of  apologies,  none  of  which  touches  the 
case ;  for  the  want  of  order  is  the  real  secret  of  her 
short-comings.  She  is  always  hurried,  and  always 
weary,  and  her  work  is  never  done ! 

In  a  previous  chapter  we  referred  to  Margaret 
Prior,  whose  useful  labors  among  the  destitute  of 


OBDKK.  278 

New  York  city  are  well  known.  It  was  a  mys- 
tery to  some  how  she  could  do  so  much  for  the 
needy,  with  the  other  cares  that  pressed  upon  her. 
But  her  biographer  has  explained  the  mystery  by 
saying,  that  "  she  had  a  place  for  everything,  and 
everything  in  its  place." 

It  is  related,  also,  of  Mrs.  Susanna  Benson,  an 
English  authoress  of  considerable  celebrity,  that 
she  was  able  to  perform  an  astonishing  amount  of 
mental  and  physical  labor  in  consequence  of  the 
systematic  division  of  her  time.  "  By  this,"  says 
her  biographer,  "  she  found  opportunities  to  visit 
her  friends,  attend  to  her  pupils,  and  to  write  large 
volumes  for  amusement  and  instruction,  and  yet 
never  seemed  hurried  or  overwhelmed  with  cares 
or  labors.  Method  gave  harmony  to  her  avoca- 
tions, and  if  she  suffered,  it  was  not  perceived ;  if 
she  was  weary  and  exhausted,  it  was  not  known 
to  those  around  her.  This  was  the  more  wonder- 
ful, as  she  was,  for  a  great  portion  of  her  life,  a 
valetudinarian.  She  was  an  economist  of  the 
closest  calculation  hi  every  arrangement  of  her 
school  or  household  affairs.  The  mere  goodj  in- 
dustrious housewife  learned  something  more  of 
her  duty,  and  added  to  her  stock  of  culinary  in- 
formation at  every  visit  she  paid  this  patron  of 
industry  and  economy.  The  science  and  skill 


274  THE    GOOD   GIRL    AND    TKUE    WOMAN. 

^  t 

of  the  kitchen  were  as .  familiar  to  her  as  works  of 
taste,  and  if  she  ever  seemed  proud  of  any  ac- 
quirement,^ it  was  of  the  knowledge  of  house- 
wifery." 

After  Mary  Lyon  had  been  pursuing  'her  stud- 
ies for  some  time,  she  became  satisfied  that  a 
more  systematic  division  of  her  time  and  study 
would  be  beneficial.  She  accordingly  reduced  her 
work  to  order,  and  from  that  time  began  to  reap 
the  fruits  thereof.  It  is  true,  in  some  of  the  mat- 
ters indicated,  particularly  relating  to  her  ward- 
robe, she  was  deficient ;  but  she  still  recognized 
the  importance  and  value  of  doing  things  system- 
atically. In  the  school-room,  and  in  the  family 
department  of  her  Seminary  at  South  Hadley, 
order  was  a  first  law.  The  pupils  were  subjected 
to  its  strict  enforcement.  It  regulated  their  stu- 
dies and  their  exercise,  their  waking  and  sleeping 
moments.  Her  own  labors  were  brought  under 
similar  regulations,  so  that  everything  between 
teacher  and  pupils  moved  on  like  clock-work.  She 
fully  recognized  ORDER  as  indispensable  to  the 
prosperity  of  the  institution,  and  to  the  develop- 
ment of  symmetrical  characters  in  her  pupils. 

May  the  reader  love  ORDER.  It  will  enable  her 
to  be  prompt,  efficient,  laborious,  and  true. 

"  Order  is  Heaven's  first  law;, and  this  confessed, 
Some  are,  and  must  be,  greater  than  the  rest." 


CHAPTER     XXV. 


PUNCTUALITY, 


PUNCTUALITY  NECESSARY  TO  ORDER  —  WANT  OP  PUNCTUALITY  A 
GENERAL  EVIL  —  WOMAN  WHO  LOST  HEE  PLACE  THROUGH  TAR- 
DINESS—THE LOWELL  MOTHER  VISITING  BOSTON  —  ONE  MINUTB 
TOO  LATE  —  FEMALES  LESS  PUNCTUAL  THAN  MALES  —  THE 
TARDY  SCHOOL  GIRL  —  RISING  EARLY  —  WRITING  LETTERS  — 
TWELVE  O'CLOCK  PRECISELY  —  RULES  OF  GENTILITY  UNFAVOR- 
ABLE TO  PUNCTUALITY  —  THE  COUNTESS  OF  BURFORD  —  MARY 
LYON  EVER  PUNCTUAL  —  REMARKS  OF  DR.  HITCHCOCK  —  NOT 
PUT  OFF  TILL  TO-MORROW  WHAT  CAN  BE  DONE  TO-DAY  —  AMUS- 
ING-DREAM—HER COUNSEL  TO  PUPILS  ABOUT  PUNCTUALITY 
—  NAPOLEON  AND  THE  BATTLE  OF  WATERLOO. 


No  person  can  be  systematic  without  being 
punctual.  This  is  absolutely  necessary  to  the  best 
improvement  of  time.  Many  cannot  observe  much 
order  in  their  affairs  simply  because  they  are  usu- 
ally behind  time  in  performing  their  tasks.  If  one 
piece  of  work  is  not  done  at  the  time,  it  interferes 
with  the  next  duty,  and  finally  all  their  affairs  are 
in  confusion. 

It  is  astonishing  to  what  extent  the  wan*  of 
punctuality  prevails.  Both  sexes  are  very  cen- 
surable on  this  point.  A  truly  punctual  man  or 
woman  is  so  rare,  that  everybody  knows  such  a 


276    THE  GOOD  GIRL  AND  TKUE  WOMAN. 

one  for  this  trait.  He  or  she  is  an  exception  to 
the  mass  of  people  around.  Society  has  to  guard 
itself  more  or  less  against  this  evil ;  and  many 
institutions  are  compelled  to  form  and  enforce 
rigid  regulations  relating  thereto.  Banks,  for  in- 
stance, require  the  payment  of  notes  promptly, 
under  the  direction  of  civil  laws  with  heavy  penal- 
ties. Were  it  left  with  borrowers  to  consult  their 
own  feelings  or  convenience  about  paying  notes  at 
the  precise  time,  it  would  be  impossible  for  banks 
to  continue  business,  on  account  of  the  general 
habit  of  procrastination.  It  is  so  with  taxes.  It 
has  been  found  necessary  to  enact  stringent  laws 
to  compel  men  to  be  prompt  in  paying  their  tax- 
bills.  Within  a  week  we  have  been  told  of  a  town 
where  several  thousand  dollars  of  last  year's  taxes 
remain  unpaid,, on  account  of  the  negligence  of  the. 
officers  in  executing  the  laws.  Multitudes  of  peo- 
ple will  not  be  punctual  unless  they  are  driven  to 
it;  and  the  evils  entailed  upon  society  by  the 
delinquency  are  numerous. 

A  few  years  since,  a  woman  failed  to  renew  the 
policy  of  insurance  upon  her  buildings.  Her  hus- 
band was  living,  but  his  mind  was  so  much  im- 
paired that  the  transaction  of  all  business  devolved 
upon  herself.  She  was  not  ready  to  renew  the  po- 
licy on  the  day  it  expired  ;  other  duties  demanded 
her  attention,  so  that  she  postponed  it  to  the  first 


PUNCTUALITY.  277 

convenient  day.  Within  twenty-four  hours  after 
the  policy  expired,  her  buildings  took  fire,  and 
were  damaged  to  the  amount  of  fifteen  hundred 
dollars. 

Dr.  Alcott  tells  us  of  a  female  who  went  from 
Boston  to  Lowell  one  day  on  a  visit.  "  She  left  her 
young  child  at  home,  designing  to  return  by  the 
cars  in  the  afternoon.  Owing  to  her  tardy  habits, 
the  hour  for  the  last  train  of  cars  to  Boston  had 
nearly  arrived  before  she  was  aware  of  it.  She 
hurried  on  her  things,  and  hastened  to  the  cars, 
but  was  just  one  minute  too  late.  There  she  was, 
thirty  miles  from  her  home,  and  there  would  be  no 
other  public  conveyance  until  the  following  day. 
She  thought  of  her  infant,  who  was  probably  half 
starved  by  that  time,  and  of  her  husband,  who 
would  wonder  what  had  become  of  his  wife.  There 
was  no  time  to  lose.  She  had  lost  enough  already. 
With  the  aid  of  her  friends,  a  carriage  was  made 
.  ready  to  convey  her  home  on  that  night.  Her  hus- 
band, also,  started  from  Boston,  about  the  same 
time,  to  go  to  Lowell  after  her.  He  met  her  when 
he  had  performed  about  half  the  journey,  to  the  no 
small  satisfaction  of  both.  All  this  trouble,  anx- 
iety, and  expense,  werS  occasioned  by  Jbeing  one 
minute  too  late."  .  ^;.v 

One  minute  behind  the  time !  This  is  the 
reason  -why  a  great  many  people  never  succeed  in 
24 


278  THE    GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAJf. 

life.     In  consequence  of  their  tardiness,  they  lose 
-a  few  minutes  in  the  morning,  and  then  vainly  run 
after  them  all  day  long.     At  sun-down  they  have 
not  overtaken  them,  and  they  never  will. 

We  believe  that  punctuality  is  more  rare  among 
•females  than  males.  They  are  not  subjected  to 
the  discipline  of  laws  snd  regulations  which  b\isi- 
ness  requires,  and  therefore  they  more  readily 
yield  to  the  inclination  to  put  off  till  to-morrow 
what  they  might  as  well  do  to-day.  We  once 
knew  a  school-girl  who  was  in  the  habit  of  com- 
ing into  school  any  time  during  the  first  hour  of 
its  session.  One  day  she  would  be  at  the  school 
a  half-hour  before  the  time,  perhaps  on  the  fol- 
lowing day  a  half-hour  after.  This  habit  charac- 
terized her  in  other  matters.  She  was  equally 
inconstant  and  unreliable  in  her  studies.  As  a 
scholar  she  never  accomplished  much. 

This  want  of  punctuality  is  observable  in  a 
great  many  things  which  women  do.  A  girl 
thinks  she  will  rise  in  the  morning  at  five  o'clock. 
Perhaps  that  is  her  stated  hour  for  rising,  and  she 
so  informs  other  people.  But  five  o'clock  comes, 
and  she  concludes  to  gratify  her  inclination,  and 
rest  a  little  longer.  This  is  done  morning  after 
morning,  so  that  she  seldom  rises  at  tli3  time  as- 
signed. In  fact,  she  actually  rises  at  no  particular 
hour,  although  she  still  maintains  that  five  o'clock 
is  her  time. 


PUNCTUALITY.  279 

Another  girl  does  not  like  to  write  letters.  Her 
correspondents  may  be  many,  but  their  epistles 
lie  upon  her  table  unanswered,  day  after  d#y. 
"  There !  I  must  not  fail  to  reply  to  those  letters 
to-morrow,"  she  says;  but  the  morrow's  sun  sets 
upon  her  proci'astinatiou.  In  this  way  the  duty 
is  postponed  for  a  long  time,  and  when  her  replies 
are  really  penned,  they  are  full  of  apologies,  in 
which  there  is  usually  very  little  truth. 

We  have  known  housewives  to  make  twelve 
o'clock  "  precisely"  the  hour  for  dining,  but  never 
to  have  dinner  ready  at  the  time.  Sometimes  it 
would  be  a  quarter  past  twelve,  sometimes  half- 
past,  and  sometimes  one  o'clock,  before  it  was  pre- 
pared. A  great  many  hoitsekeepers  have  no  par- 
ticular time  for  breakfast.  Any  time  from  six  to 
eight  o'clock  will  do.  If  they  only  have  it  in  the 
morning,  it  is  enough  "  for  all  practical  purposes." 
It  is  a  capital  device  to  cause  every  member  of  the 
family  to  form  loose  habits  in  this  particular. 

Perhaps  the  rules  of  gentility  in  social  life  may 
be  unfavorable  to  the  habit  of  punctuality.  We 
have  thought  so,  often.  Early  hours  are  not  con- 
sistent with  some  rules_of  fashion  and  etiquette. 
A  young  lady  must  not  visit  too  early  in  the  after- 
noon or  evening,  for  it  is  not  custom.  It  is  abso- 
lutely necessary  that  she  should  go  late,  if  she 
would  not  be  accounted  unfashionable.  If  she  goes 
\ 


280  THE   GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

before  supper  in  the  afternoon,  and  before  bed- 
time in  the  evening,  she  is  early  enough  to  answer 
the  demands  of  gentility.  Thus  she  is  expected 
and  required  to  be  behind  time  by  some  of  the 
social  rites  and  customs.  May  this  not  have  some- 
what to  do  with  her  habit  of  being  late  else- 
where ? 

The  Countess  of  Burford,  who  is  known  to 
fame,  was  a  good  example  of  punctuality  to  all 
around  her.  She  was  never  behind  the  time  in 
any  of  her  engagements,  nor  late  in  the  discharge 
of  any- duty.  During  the  last  few  years  of  her 
life,  she  was  obliged  to  ride  sixteen  miles  to  her 
place  of  worship ;  and  it  was  said  of  her,  "  Neither 
frost,  snow,  rain,  nor  bad  roads,  were  sufficient  to 
detain  her  at  home,  nor  to  prevent  her  being  there 
before  the  worship  began"  The  habit  of  being 
punctual  made  her  exact  in  everything. 

Mary  Lyon  was  a  pattera  of  punctuality.  Al- 
though she  was  so  fond  of  study  in  youth  as  to 
rob  her  body  and  mind  of  some  of  their  nightly 
rest,  she  was  always  ready  at  the  call  of  every 
duty.  Dr.  Hitchcock  says :  "  Though  a  small 
thing,  it  shows  the  self-control  she  had  attained, 
that,  though  in  youth,  with  nothing  to  do  but, 
study,  she  carried  her  book  to  the  table,  hardly 
allowing  herself  time  to  eat ;  yet  at  this  period, 
in  the  whirl  of  cares  and  duties  [referring  to  the 


PUNCTUALITY.  28 1 

time  of  erecting  the  seminary  btiilding  at  South 
Hadley],  she  never  failed  to  be  at  the  table  ere  Mr. 
Condit  asked  the  divine  benediction,  always  stayed 
till  the  table  was  formally  dismissed,  and  was  as 
punctual  at  prayers,  and  in  retiring,  as  she  ever 
required  any  of  her  South  Hadley  pupils  to  be." 

*  Again,  he  says :  "  The  promptness  with  which 
this   executive    power  was    manifested,  deserves 
notice.     The  moment   a  thing  was  found  to  be 

•  'fles.irable   and   practicable,  she  felt  uneasy  till  it 
was  in  a  course  of  execution.     She  suspected  her- 
self,  as  we   shall   see    farther  on,  of  being  too 
impatient  in  such  cases;  but  how  venial  such  a 
fault,  compared  with  the  very  common  habit  of 
procrastination  !     With  her  there  was  no  putting 
off  till  to-morrow  what  could  be  done  to-day.     For 
a  few  years,  in  consequence  of  the  length  of  some 
of  the   compositions,  the   public  services  in   the 
church,  on  anniversary  days,  did   not  commence 
till  half  an  hour  after  the  appointed  time.     She 
\vas  reminded  of  it  as  something  unusual  at  the 
Mount  Holyoke    Seminary.     The   next  year  the 
public  services  commenced  a  quarter  of  an  hour 
before  the  time  appointed,  —  so  fearful  was  the 
principal  lest  the  school  should  get  the  reputa- 
tion of  not  being  punctual." 

The  same  writer  had  a  dream,  which  he  gives  as 
illustrative  of  Miss  Lyon's  promptness.     He  thinks 
24* 


282  THE   GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

it  was  occasioned  by  the  effect  of  her  punctuality 
upon  his  mind.     It  is  as  follows : 

"  I  dreamed  that  I  was  at  the  Seminary  on  An- 
niversary day,  when  the  examinations  were  going 
on,  before  a  crowded  audience,  in  the  large  hall  at 
the  south  end  of  the  building.  '  Happening  to  step 
out  at  the  door,  I  saw  that  all  the  north  part  of- the- 
building  was  on  fire,  the  flames  rushing  out  of  the 
window  with  such  fury  that  it  seemed  impossible 
to  save  the  edifice.  However,  everybody  seemed 
very  quiet,  and  the  examinations  were  not  inter- 
rupted ;  but  as  I  passed  along,  a  window  opened, 
and  Miss  Lyon  appeared  with  a  letter  in  her  hand, 
which  she  committed  to  some  one  to  take  to  the 
post-office.  I  thought  it  a  strange  time  to  be  writ- 
ing letters,  but  was  told  that  it  was  a  circular^ 
which  Miss  Lyon  was  getting  out  to  obtain  means 
for  erecting  a  new  building  !  " 

On  one  occasion  she  gave  the  following  counsel 
to  her  pupils :  "  Now,  young  ladies,  you  are  here 
at  great  expense.  Your  board  and  tuition  cost  a 
great  deal,  and  your  time  ought  to  be  worth  more 
than  both ;  but,  in  order  to  get  an  equivalent  for 
the  money  and  time  you  are  spending,  you  must 
be  systematic,  and  that  is  impossible  unless  you 
have  a  regular  hour  for  rising.  If  that  hour  is  fiVe, 
and  you  are  on  your  feet  before  the  clock  has  done 
striking,  then  you  are  punctual ;  but  if  you  lie  five 


PUNCTUALITY.  283 

minutes,  or  even  one,  after  that  hour  passes,  you 
are  tardy,  and  you  must  lose  a  little  respect  for 
yourself  in  consequence.  Persons  who  run  round 
all  day  for  the  half  hour  they  lost  in  the  morning, 
never  accomplish  much.  You  may  know  them  by 
a  rip  in  the  glove,  a  string  pinned  to  the  bonnet,  a 
shawl  left  on  the  balustrade,  which  they  had  no 
time  to  hang  up,  they  were  in  such  a  hurry  to 
catch  their  lost  thirty  ininuies.  You  will  see  tliein 
opening  their  books  and  trying  to  study  at  the 
time  of  general  exercises  in  school;  but  it  is  a 
fruitless  race ;  they  never  will  overtake  their  lost 
half  hour.  Good  men,  from  Abraham  to  Wash- 
ington, have  been  early  risers." 

History  informs  us  that  when  Napoleon  was 
waging  the  famous  battle  of  Waterloo,  he  was 
brought  into  a  strait,  and  sent  for  a  reinforcement 
to  be  there  at  a  given  time.  Marshal  Grouchy 
started,  at  the  head  of  a  reinforcement  strong 
enough  to  have  given  Napoleon  the  victory,  but 
he  did  not  reach  the  scene  of  strife  at  the  ap- 
pointed hour,  and  Waterloo  was  lost.  If  Mary 
Lyon  had  been  at  the  head  of  Grouchy's  •army, 
it  would  have  been  upon  the  spot  in  time  to 
have  waved  its  banners  in  triumph. 

Punctuality  contributes  to  both  order  and  en- 
ergy, and  these  aid  in  persevering  endeavors  in 
the  labor  of  life. 


CHAPTER    XXVI. 


FRUGALITY. 


DIALOGUE  BETWEEN  TWO  OIBL8  —  REPRESENTATIVES  OF  TWO 
CLASSES  —  HABIT  OF  WASTING  —  REMARK  OP  SUPERINTENDENT 
OF  BONNET  MANUFACTORY  —  SECRET  OF  MANY  MEN'S  POVERTY. 
—  SAVING  TO  HOARD,  AN  EVIL  —  MRS.  PRIOR  —  MISS  DIX  AND 
HER  AGED  FATHER  —  MARGARET  BOUDET  AND  HER  NIECES  — 
MARY  LYON  —  HER  REMARKS  ON  THIS  VIRTUE  —  ITS  GENERAL 
INFLUENCE  ON  CHARACTER  —  ONE  OF  'THE  PRINCIPLES  THAT 
REGULATED  MOUNT  HOLYOKE  SEMINARY  —  THE  GIRL  WHO  IS 
WOT.'  WASTEFUL  OF  PINS  WILL  BE  FRUGAL  IN  GREATER  MAT- 
TERS. 


"I  THIHK  we  ought  to  be  frugal,  though  we 
have  abundant  means,"  said  Mary  Jones  to  Hattie 
Earl,  with  whom  she  was  discussing  the  subject 
of  economy. 

"Enjoy  it  as  long  as  it  lasts,  is  my  rule,"  re- 
sponded Hattie,  who  was  known  in  the  neigh- 
borhood for  her  wasteful  habits. 

"  Yes ! "  said  Mary,  "  and  be  miserable  and 
wretched  when  it  is  gone." 

"That  is  not  my  business,"  rejoined  Hattie. 
"I  expect  to  have  a  husband  to  support  me,  by- 
and-by.  I  am  certain  of  one  thing  —  that  I  shall 
not  support  him." 


FRUGALITY.  285 

Hattie  was  about  nineteen  years  of  age,  and  was 
soon  to  be  married  to  a  smart  young  merchant. 
Suffice  it  to  say,  that  the  nuptial  bonds  were 
sealed,  and  the  young  bride  continued  as  wasteful 
as  ever.  The  servants  superintended  the  house- 
hold affairs,  while  their  mistress  attended  to  her 
toilet,  and  made  and  received  calls.  In  two  years 
her  husband  became  a  bankrupt. 

The  above  fact  is  an  illustration  of  much  of 
the  same  kind  that  is  witnessed  in  every  com- 
munity. Hattie  is  the  representative  of  many 
young  ladies  whose  ideas  of  the  nature  and  bene- 
fits of  frugality  are  very  meagre  indeed.  It  is 
not  their  fault,  perhaps,  so  much  as  that  of  society, 
and  the  training  to  which  they  have  been  sub- 
jected. Girls  do  not  receive  those  lessons  upon 
frugality  which  are  quite  generally  imparted  to 
boys.  They  live  in  a  more  secluded  way,  and  do 
not  have  that  business  to  perform  which  requires 
the  management  of  finances.  On  this  account, 
it  is  not  regarded  as  indispensable  that  they  should 
be  instructed  particularly  in  economy.  The  nu- 
merous ways  in  which  they  can  be  wasteful,  with- 
out having  the  control  of  considerable  money,  are 
not  understood  and  appreciated.  Parents  and 
guardians  do  not  reflect  that  the  habit  of  wasting 
may  be  formed  even  in  the  control  of  the  pins  with 
which  their  daughters  fasten  their  dresses.  Much 


286  THE   GOOD    GIKL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

less  do  they  consider  that  the  habit  is  more  likely 
to  be  formed  in  connection  with  these  minor  mat- 
ters, so  that  wastefulness  will  characterize  their 
daughters  when  they  become  wives  and  the  heads 
of  families. 

"A  large  part  of  the  girls,"  said  the  superin- 
tendent of  a  bonnet  manufactory,  "spend,  every 
cent  of  their  earnings  for  dress  and  nicknacks. 

There  is  C H ,  who  earned  nearly  three 

hundred  dollars  last  year,  has  not  laid  by  a  single 
dollar."  This  may  be  an  extreme  case;  though 
we  fear  that  kindred  wastefulness  is  very  com- 
mon with  this  class.  Hence  it  is  a  theme  of  great 
importance  to-  girls ;  for  the  habit  of  extravagance, 
formed  in  early  life,  may  utterly  disqualify  them  to 
become  the  mistresses  of  families.  There  is  little 
doubt  that  the  want  of  a  frugal  wife  is  the  secret 
of  many  a  man's  poverty  and  discouragement. 
"  A  small  leak  will  sink  a  ship ; "  so  a  little  waste, 
day  after  day,  and  year  after  year,  will  exhaust 
quite  ample  resources.  Girls  should  understand 
this.  It  is  not  a  trivial  matter.  It  affects  the 
formation  of  character,  and  may  decide  the  tem- 
poral destiny.  The  old  adage  is  a  true  one  : 
"  Always  taking  out  of  the  meal  tub,  and  never 
putting  in,  soon  comes  to  the  bottom."  It  is  just 
as  important  that  girls  should  form  frugal  habits, 
as  that  boys  should.  Indeed,  in  some  respects,  it 


FRUGALITY.  287 

is  more  so ;  since  they  will  eventually  be  the 
managers  of  households,  having  the  charge  of 
provisions,  clothing,  furniture,  and  other  things 
pertaining  to  domestic  life. 

We  would  not  advocate  that  kind  of  economy 
which  is  concerned  only  about  hoarding.  Saving 
to  hoard  is  a  contemptible  policy,  in  contrast  with 
that  spirit  which  saves  in  order  to  command  the 
more  means  for  usefulness.  That  intelligent,  be- 
nevolent lady,  of  New  York  city,  Mrs.  Prior,  was 
.wont  to  practise  such  economy  as  few  ladies  of 
her  rank  were  disposed  to  do;  but  it  was  always 
•done  with  the  high  and  noble  aim  of  doing  more 
in  works  of  charity.  Her  biographer  says :  "  The 
time  that  some  spend  in  fashionable  and  heartless 
calls,  she  devoted  to  industry  and  humanity.  By 
rising  early,  working  late,  observing  the  strict- 
est rules  of  economy,  and  subjecting  herself,  at 
times,  to  self-denial,  she  was  able  to  visit  the 
suffering,  and  to  make  daily  appropriations  from 
her  own  table  for  their  relief."  She  usually  ob- 
tained assistance  to  do  her  washing,  and  limited 
herself  to  a  dollar  a  week  to  meet  that  expense. 
In  many  instances,  when  the  amount  she  had 
assigned  for  some  particular  charity  fell  short  of 
the  sum  actually  needed,  she  did  her  own  wash- 
ing, in  order  to  c.ommand  the  necess-uy  means. 
In  1822  she  visited  every  family  on  Bowery  Hill, 


238  THE    GOOD   GIRL    AND    TKUE    WOMAN. 

made  herself  acquainted  with  their  moral  condi- 
tion, established  a  school  for  the  children,  to  the 
support  of  'which  she  contributed  one  hundred 
dollars  annually,  saved  by  the  most  rigid  economy. 

Miss  Dix,  the  well-known  American  philanthro- 
pist, accomplished  her  remarkable  labors  by  im- 
proving every  moment  of  time,  and  husbanding 
her  resources  in  the  most  economical  manner. 
Uulike  Mrs.  Fry,  she  had  not  a  fortune  to  spend 
in  benevolent  efforts,  but  only  the  fruits  of  her 
own  toil.  One  fact,  illustrative  of  her  economy, 
is  this:  She  was  accustomed  to  purchase  the  mate- 
rials for  her  garments  in  the  towns  she  visited, 
and  make  them  up  herself  while  travelling  on 
steamboats,  waiting  for  stages  at  public  houses, 
and  during  other  leisure  moments,  which  she  saved 
as  carefully  as  the  miser  does  his  gold. 

Miss  Elizabeth  Carter,  who  thoroughly  mas- 
tered nine  languages,  is  another  example  in  point. 
It  was  her  design  from  girlhood  to  be  highly 
educated.  To  accomplish  her  purpose,  she  was 
compelled  to  be  frugal  of  both  time  and  money. 
Yet  she  made  herself  acquainted  with  all  kinds 
of  domestic  work,  believing  that  every  female, 
whatever  her  rank  and  sphere  of  duty,  should 
understand  these  things.  It  was  well;  for  her 
mother  died,  and  all  her  brothers  and  sisters  mar- 
ried and  moved  away,  so  that  her  father  was  left 


FRUGALITY.  289 

alone.  Notwithstanding  her  devotion  to  study, 
she  resolved  to  return,  and  gladden  her  father's 
waning  life.  With  the  means  she  had  saved,  by 
economy,  from  the  sale  of  her  publications,  she 
was  able  to  purchase  a  house,  "where  she  con- 
veyed her  only  surviving  parent,  and,  for  the  last 
fourteen  years  of  his  life,  made  his  daily  comfort 
one  of  the  ruling  objects  of  her  existence."  Her 
case  not  only  illustrates  the  beauty  of  filial  love, 
but  also  the  benefit  that  is  often  derived  from 
early  frugal  habits.  But  for  these,  she  would  not 
have  been  able  to  gladden  the  heart  of  her  aged 
father  as  she  did. 

Such  facts  exhibit  the  loveliness  of  this  element 
of  character  when  it  is  cultivated  with  the  be- 
nevolent aim  to  bless  others.  In  contrast  with 
a  penurious  saving  for  the  sake  of  gain,  it  is  a 
bright  adornment  of  female  character.  It  is  re- 
lated of  Margaret  Boudet,  that  she  lived  in  ap- 
parent poverty  all  her  days.  In  her  last  sickness, 
two  nieces  had  compassion  upon  her,  and  went 
to  nurse  her.  As  the  time  of  her  departure  drew 
near,  she  requested  that  a  notary  should  be  sent 
for,  as  she  desired  to  make  her  will.  The  nieces 
supposed  that  she  was  delirious,  and  knew  not 
what  she  said,  and  therefore  they  did  not  heed 
her  request  at  first.  The  old  lady  insisted  that 
she  was  sane,  and  that  she  had  property  to  dis- 


290          THE    GOOD  GIRL    AND   TRUE    WOMAN. 

pose  of.  The  notary  was  called ;  and  when  the 
nieces  heard  her  will, — one  hundred  thousand 
francs  to  each  of  them, — they  were  thoroughly 
convinced  of  her  insanity.  She  continued  to  dis- 
pose of  property,  however,  until  jive  hundred 
thousand  francs  were  numbered ;  and  then  she 
added :  "  At  the  early  age  of  thirteen  I  began  to 
earn  money.  I  never  have  had  any  useless  ex- 
penses ;  and  during  the  sixty-three  years  since 
elapsed,  have  never  passed  a  day  without  laying 
by  something.  Here  are  my  titles  and  docu- 
ments,"—  taking  from  beneath  her  pillow  an  old 
portfolio  filled  with  papers,  which  she  placed  in 
the  hands  of  the  notary.  "You  will  find  that 
I  have  23,000  francs  a  year  in  the  public  funds, 
two  houses  in  the  Rue  St.  Jaques,  one  on  the 
Boulevard  du  Temple,  and  one  on  the  Quai  St. 
Paul.  I  recommend  my  tenants  to  your  care,  for 
they  are  all  honest  people,  and  pay  their  rents 
regularly."  This  is  an  example  of  that  miserly 
hoarding,  which  is  low  and  contemptible  in  com- 
parison with  economy  that  is  practised  for  the 
sake  of  doing  good. 

Mary  Lyon  was  strictly  frugal.  Her  resources 
were  carefully  managed,  that  she  might  have 
wherewith  to  defray  her  expenses  at  school  in 
her  youth,  and,  in  later  years,  that  she  might  be 
able  to  make  larger  contributions  to  the  cause 


FRUGALITY.  291 

of  benevolence.  We  have  seen  before  that  she 
gave  more  in  'charity  than  she  expended  upon 
herself.  In  order  to  do  this,  she  was  obliged  to 
be  saving  in  all  her  expenses  for  dress,  board, 
and  all  other  necessary  things.  Her  practice  cor- 
responded with  the  following  sentiments,  which  she 
once  uttered  concerning  young  ladies  at  school : 

"  I  do  more  and  more  feel  it  to  be  important 
that  young  ladies  engaged  in  study,  and  spending 
freely  on  themselves  for  board  and  tuition,  should 
give  liberally  to  the  treasury  of  the  Lord.  This  is 
essential  to  their  cultivating  right  principles,  to 
their  forming  right  habits.  Are  not  young  ladies, 
as  well  as  young  men,  while  engaged  in  study,  in 
danger  of  excusing  themselves  from  contributing 
liberally,  because  they  are  spending  their  money 
to  prepare  themselves  for  usefulness  ?  By  fortify- 
ing themselves  with  this  excuse,  through  their 
whole  course  of  education,  may  they  not  almost 
form  the  habit  of  feeling  that  everything  of  large 
amount  that  is  to  be  cast  into  the  treasury  of  the 
Lord  by  their  own  hands,  must  first  pass  through 
the  channel  of  self,  to  fit  it  for  the  Master's  service  ? 
Ought  not  young  ladies,  in  a  course  of  education, 
carefully  to  economize  in  the  least  expenditures, 
lest  something  which  ought  to  be  put  into  the 
treasury  of  the  Lord  should  flow  into  some  other 
channel?" 


292  THE    GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

Such  economy  exerts  a  happy  influence  upon 
character.  It  is  not  so  valuable  for  its  own  sake, 
as  for  its  general  good  effect  upon  the  heart  and 
life.  It  brightens  and  increases  the  value  of  other 
virtues.  The  motive  is  so  high  and  noble  that  it 
lifts  up  and  elevates  the  soul.  The  girl  who  is  fru- 
gal is  more  likely  to  become  an  excellent,  useful  wo- 
man. Miss  Lyon  viewed  the  quality  in  this  light 
when  she  had  charge  of  the  Mount  Holyoke  Fe- 
male Seminary.  In  a  pamphlet  which  she  pub- 
lished upon  "The  Tendencies  of  the  Principles 
embraced,  and  the  System  adopted  "  in  that  Semi- 
nary, she  says,  speaking  of  "the  elements  that 
should  be  embraced  in  the  social  and  domestic 
character  of  a  lady  " : 

"Economy  consists  in  providing  well  at  little 
comparative  expense.  It  necessarily  implies  good 
judgment  and  good  taste.  It  can  be  equally  mani- 
fested in  the  tasteful  decorations  of  a  palace  and  in 
the  simple  comforts  of  a  cottage.  Suppose  all  ladies 
possessed  this  in  a  high  degree^  how  much  more 
would  be  found,  in  families,  of  comfort  and  con- 
venience, of  taste  and  refinement,  of  education 
and  improvement,  of  charity,  and  good  works ! 

"This  institution,  it  is  well  known,  is  distin- 
guished for  its  economical  features.  Economy, 
however,  is  not  adopted  principally  for  its  own 
sake,  but  as  a  means  of  education,  as  a  mode  of 


FRUGALITY.  293 

producing  favorable  effects  on  character,  and 
of  preparing  young  ladies  for  the  duties  of  life. 
The  great  object  is  to  make  the  school  really 
better." 

Let  the  young  reader  remember  that  she  who 
is  not  wasteful  of  pins  and  needles,  who  preserves 
her  wardrobe  by  taking  each  necessary  stitch  in 
season,  and  by  carefully  brushing  and  folding  each 
garment  when  it  is  to  be  laid  by,  and  who  aims 
.  generally  to  be  frugal  in  the  smallest  matters  per- 
taining to  domestic  life,  is  laying  the  foundation 
for  an  honorable  frugality  in  womanhood. 
25* 


CHAPTER     XXVII 


-SELF-RELIANCE. 

SELF-RELIANCE  OF  MART  LYON  —  THE  RICH  AND  POOR  MAN'S 
DAUGHTER  —  MADAME  DE  OKNL1S  —  WANT  OF  THIS  A  FAULT 
OF  MODERN  FEMALE  SOCIETY  —  REMARK  OF  FREEDLEY  —  GET- 
TING WELL  MARRIED  —  THE  DAUGHTER  WHO  RELIED  UPON  HEB 
MOTHER,  AND  NOT  UPON  HERSELF  —  THE  OLD  MAN'S  BRIDE  — 
BELF-RELIANCE  FITS  GIRLS  FOR  VICISSITUDES  —  REVERSES  FRE- 
QUENT—  MRS.  BLEEKER — WIVES  OF  DRUNKARDS  —  THE  YOUNG 
MERCHANT'S  WIFE  IN  PHILADELPHIA  —  THE  CLERGYMAN'S 
WIDOW  AND  FOUR  CHILDREN  —  THE  MERCHANT'S  WIDOW  AND 
THREE  CHILDREN  —  THE  WISE  MERCHANT'S  DAUGHTERS,  AS  RE- 
LATED BY  ARTHUR — THE  MOST  PROSPEROUS  BECOME  POOR  — 
MARIA  ANTOINETTE  — NAPOLEON'S  MOTHER  —  ANNALS  OF  CRIME 
—  A  SAD  STORY  —  SELF-RELIANCE  NECESSARY  TO  SYMMETRY  Of 
CHARACTER  —  APPEAL  TO  THE  READER. 

FROM  her  youth  Mary  Lyon  depended  more 
upon  her  own  exertions  than  she  did  upon  the 
assistance  of  others.  This  was  self-reliance.  It 
gave  her  courage  and  hope,  when  otherwise  she 
would  have  been  disheartened,  and  have  given  up 
in  despair.  Her  humble  circumstances  were  well 
suited  to  make  her  self-reliant.  The  opposite  cir- 
cumstances tend  to  dwarf  the  powers,  and  dis- 
qualify persons  to  struggle  long  and  successfully 
with  difficulties.  The  daughter  of  the  wealthy 


SELF-RELIANCE.  295 

man,  who  has  lived  in  splendor,  and  fared  sumptu- 
ously every  day,  depends  almost  entirely  upon 
others.  She  is  not  taught  to  do  a  single  thing 
for  her  own  support ;  so  that,  if  a  reverse  of  for- 
tune throws  her  upon  her  own  resources,  she  is 
totally  unprepared  for  the  change.  There  is  noth- 
ing that  she  can  do  for  her  own  support.  She  is 
well-nigh  as  helpless  as  an  infant.  On  the  other 
hand,  the  poor  man's  daughter  has  been  trained  to 
do  something  for  her  own  maintenance.  If  she  is 
suddenly  deprived  of  parental  assistance,  she  can 
fall  back  upon  her  own  energy  and  acquisitions. 
She  is  not  afraid  of  starving.  Poverty  does  not 
terrify  her.  She  has  confidence  in  her  own  ability 
to  provide  for  every  want. 

In  consequence  of  her  training  in  the  school  of 
humble  experience,  Mary  Lyon  could  have  main- 
tained herself  in  several  different  ways.  True,  she 
could  not  boast  of  thirty  different  employments, 
with  the  gifted  Madame  De  Genlis,  by  which,  if 
necessary,  she  could  earn  her  own  living ;  but  yet 
there  was  enough  that  one  of  her  tact,  energy,  and 
perseverance,  could  do  for  an  ample  livelihood. 
She  knew  this,  and  therefore  did  not  fear  calamity 
so  long  as  reason  and  health  remained. 

A  defect  of  modern  society  i?,  that  so  few  girls 
are  trained  to  depend  upon  themselves.  The  greater 
part  of  them  depend  upon  their  parents  till  they 


296  THE  GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

enter  upon  wedded  life,  and  then  they  depend  upon 
their  husbands.  They  are  not  help-meets,  as  that 
appellation  was  understood  in  the  days  of  our 
grandfathers  and  grandmothers ;  for,  many  a 
young  man  who  takes  one  of  them  for  his  bride,  is 
obliged  to  add  one  or  two  servants  to  assist  in  reg- 
ulating household  affairs.  The  want  of  more  self- 
reliance  is  one  reason  that  young  women  of  the 
present  day  accomplish  so  little.  There  is  no  rea- 
son why  girls  should  not  possess  it  as  really  as 
boys.  It  is  needed  in  domestic  as  truly  as  in  mer- 
cantile life.  Of  the  latter,  John  Freedley  says : 
"  It  is  a  mistaken  notion  that  capital  alone  is 
necessary  to  success  in  business.  If  a  man  has 
head  and  hands  suited  to  his  business,  it  will  soon 
procure  •  him  capital.  My  observations  through 
life  satisfy  me  that  at  least  nine-tenths  of  those 
most  successful  in  business  start  in  life  without  any 
reliance  except  upon  their  own  head  and  hands  — 
hoe  their  own  row  from  the  jump.  All  profes- 
sions and  occupations  alike  give  the  field  for  talent, 
perseverance,  and  industry ;  and  these  qualities, 
whether  in  the  East,  West,  or  South,  sooner  or 
later,  will  crown  the  aspirant  with  success."  These 
remarks  apply  with  equal  force  to  the  employment 
of  females.  Their  sphere  of  effort  is  subject  to 
changes,  trials,  and  difficulties,  not  a  whit  less  dis- 
couraging than  those  which  are  found  amid  the  din 
of  traffic. 


SELF-RELIANCE.  297 

Too  often,  perhaps,  tender  mothers  counsel  their 
daughters  in  such  a  way  as  to  cause  them  to  feel 
that  getting  "  well  married  "  is  the  chief  end  of 
life ;  for  then  they  will  have  nothing  to  do.  A 
husband,  to  this  class,  is  a  convenient  provision  for 
their  maintenance;  once  secured,  they  need  not 
trouble  themselves  further  about  what  they  shall 
eat,  and  what  they  shall  drink,  and  wherewithal 
they  shall  be  clothed.  Hence  it  is  only  neces- 
sary that  they  have  just  energy,  tact,  and  wisdom 
enough  to  get  along  till  they  enter  the  married 
state. 

We  once  knew  a  mother  who  reared  her  daughter 
in  the  most  tender  and  delicate  way,  scarcely  al- 
lowing a  strong  wind  to  tumble  her  beautiful  curls, 
or  a  broom  to  tax  her  strength.  At  the  age  of 
eighteen,  a  gentleman,  of  more  than  twice  her  age, 
made  proposals  of  marriage.  He  was  a  near  neigh- 
bor, and  for  a  long  time  the  family  had  cherished  a 
decided  antipathy  to  him.  It  was  not  surprising, 
in  the  circumstances,  that  the  daughter  did  not 
entertain  the  proposal  with  favor ;  but  she  was 
an  obedient  child,  and  the  counsels  of  her  mother 
soon  overcame  her  opposition,  and  she  consented 
to  become  the  neighbor's  bride.  Her  mother  was 
overheard  to  speak,  in  substance,  as  follows,  to  a 
near  relative,  who  objected  to  the  match:  "My 
health  is  very  poor,  and  I  may  not  live  long ;  aud 


2U3  THE   GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

who  will  find  her  a  home  when  I  am  gone  ?  She 
cannot  support  herself,  and  I  know  not  what  will 

become  of  her.     But  if  she  marries ,  he  has 

property,  a  fine  house,  well  furnished,  and  all  that 
is  necessary  to  make  a  pleasant  home.  For  my 
part,  I  think  it  is  a  good  chance  for  her."  Here, 
the  fact  that  the  daughter  had  not  been  reared  to 
depend  upon  herself  became  the  sole  reason  for 
her  marrying  a  man  for  whom  she  had  no  affection. 
The  result  was  what  might  have  been  expected. 
She  lived  with  him  only  four  or  five  months  after 
their  marriage,  and  then  they  separated.  It  is  an 
illustration,  not  only  of  the  fact  that  girls  are  gen- 
erally reared  without  any  regard  to  self-reliance, 
but  also  of  the  evils  which  a  want  of  this  element 
of  character  often  entails. 

We  insist  that  self-reliance  is  necessary  for  girls 
in  all  circumstances,  even  for  the  daughters  of  the 
wealthiest  parents.  Vicissitudes  may  change  the 
current  of  their  lives  in  a  single  week  or  day, 
as  many  sad  examples  bear  witness.  If  for  no 
other  reason,  they  need  this  trait  of  character  to 
serve  them  when  misfortune  has  swept  away 
their  possessions,  or  death  has  stricken  down  the 
friend  on  whom  they  have  leaned.  Miss  Lyon 
used  to  say,  that  one  reason  why  she  would  have 
girls  thoroughly  educated,  was,  that  they  might  be 
prepared  to  act  for  themselves  in  the  "reverses  of 


SELF-RELIANCE.  299 

fortune.  These  reverses  are  more  frequent  and  sad 
than  many  girls  suppose.  Let  us  consider  a  few 
facts. 

Margaretta  V.  Bleeker,  whose  memory  as  an  ac- 
complished scholar  is  still  fresh  to  many  of  the 
learned  of  New  York,  became  the  wife  of  a 
notable  physician.  Her  prospects  were  very  flat- 
tering at  the  time  of  her  marriage  ;  but  soon  they 
were  blighted.  The  demon,  intemperance,  en- 
tered her  happy  home,  and  her  husband  became 
a  drunkard.  He  speedily  squandered  the  property 
which  she  had  inherited,  so  that  poverty  and  mis- 
ery became  her  portion.  At  this  mournful  period 
her  husband  died,  and  she  was  left  alone.  Thou- 
sands of  females,  reared  in  the  midst  of  plenty, 
would  not  have  been  able  to  plan  for  themselves ; 
but  she  had  improved  her  early  advantages  for 
mental  improvement,  so  that  she  was  qualified  to 
obtain  a  livelihood  by  teaching,  to  which  she  de- 
moted herself  with  commendable  assiduity. 

How  many  experience  a  change  of  fortune  in 
/  just  this  way  !  Young  ladies  become  the  wives  of 
young  men,  with  the  most  pleasing  prospects  before 
them ;  but  alas !  their  companions  become  inebriates 
in  the  morning  of  wedded  life.  The  care  and  sup- 
port of  a  growing  family  now  devolve  upon  them, 
and  hands  unused  to  toil  are  compelled  to  labor 
night  and  day  to  feed  dependent  little  ones. 


300          THE    GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

During  the  financial  crisis  twenty  years  ago,  a 
young  merchant  in  Philadelphia,  who  possessed  a 
handsome  fortune,  became  embarrassed,  and  finally 
was  reduced  to  utter  bankruptcy.  His  young 
wife  immediately  withdrew  from  the  circles  of 
wealth  and  fashion,  and,  being  one  who  could  easily 
adapt  herself  to  circumstances,  she  commenced  a 
system  of  economy  and  labor,  which  proved,  in  the 
end,  highly  beneficial.  At  the  time  of  her  hus- 
band's failure,  she  owed  Messrs.  Stewart  &  Co. 
two  hundred  dollars,  for  articles  which  she  had 
used  personally.  Within  a  few  years  she  was 
able  to  cancel  this  debt,  principal  and  interest,  with 
the  fruits  of  her  own  industry  and  economy. 

We  are  acquainted  with  a  clergyman's  widow, 
who  was  left  with  four  or  five  children  several 
years  ago.  Her  early  education  had  qualified  her 
for  teaching,  and,  although  several  years  had 
passed  since  she  left  the  vocation,  as  she  supposed 
forever,  she  resolved  to  return  to  the  calling  for  the 
support  and  education  of  her  children.  She  ob- 
tained a  situation  in  a  flourishing  academy,  and 
removed  her  family  thither,  that  they  might  enjoy 
the  advantages  of  the  school.  By  this  ability  to 
rely  upon  her  own  exertions,  she  was  enabled  to 
support  herself  and  children,  arid. to  give  the  latter 
the  advantages  of  an  excellent  education. 

The  three  examples  "cited  exhibit  the  practical 


SELF-RELIANCE.  301 

benefits  of  self-reliance  to  females.  But  these  are 
rather  marked  examples.  Where  one  is  able  to 
struggle  s°  successfully  with  the  trials  and  difficul- 
ties of  life,  ten  have  no  elements  of  character  upon 
which  they  can  fall  back  for  aid  ;  so  they  drag  out 
miserable  lives,  and  leave  the  woi'ld  broken-hearted. 

Mr.  Arthur  tells  us  of  a  merchant  who  suddenly 
died,  and  left  his  wife  without  a  dollar.  He  was 
supposed  to  be  somewhat  wealthy,  but,  after  his 
death,  it  was  found  that  his  estate  was  bankrupt. 
"  Poverty  found  her  without  any  resources  in  her- 
self. She  had  three  children  dependent  upon  her 
for  sustenance  and  education  ;  but  she  could  do 
nothing  to  support  and  educate  them.  The  con- 
sequence was,  that  they  were  all  separated  from 
her ;  one  was  placed  with  a  distant  relative,  an- 
other with  a  friend  of  her  husband's,  and  the  third, 
a  boy  thirteen  years  of  age,  was  apprenticed  to  a 
trade ;  while  the  mother,  almost  broken-hearted, 
sought  refuge  from  want  in  the  family  of  a  poor 
cousin."  Contrast  this  with  the  foregoing  facts, 
and  the  reader  can  scarcely  fail  to  observe  the 
value  of  self-reliance. 

Mr.  Arthur  continues  to  say  that  another  mer- 
chant, who  was  a  witness  of  the  case  just  cited, 
was  so  impressed  by  it  that  he  discoursed  to  his 
daughters,  whom  he  was  rearing  in  luxury,  as 
follows : 

26 


302  THE   GOOD   GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

"  Jane,  I  have  been  thinking  a  good  deal  about 
you  and  Edith,  lately,  and  have  at  last  come  to  a 
conclusion  that  may  surprise  you.  It  is,  seriously, 
my  opinion  that  you  ought  to  qualify  yourselves 
fully  for  gaining  your  own  livelihoods,  in  case 
any  reverses  should  meet  you  in  after  life." 

"  Is  there  any  danger  of  such  H  reverse,  father  ?  " 
inquired  Jane. 

*'  There  is  nothing  certain  in  this  life.  Out  of 
every  ten  families  raised  in  affluence,  at  least  one 
half,  perhaps  two  thirds,  are  reduced  to  poverty, 
often  even  before  the  younger  members  have  at- 
tained their  majority.  Do  you  see  that  young 
woman  who  has  just  rung  the  bell  at  the  house 
opposite  ?  " 

"Yes,  sir;  she  is  a  seamstress,  and  works  for 
Mrs. ."  ji** 

"Do  you  know  who  she  is? " 

"No,  sir." 

"  That  poor  girl,  Jane,  who  now  goes  out  to  sew 
for  her  living,  is  the  daughter  of  a  man  who  was 
once  considered  among  the  richest  of  our  merch- 
ants. But  he  lost  all  he  possessed  and  died  pen- 
niless." 

" Indeed ! " 

"Yes,  Jane.  And  I  could  point  you  to  more 
than  a  dozen  such  instances." 

We  need   not  pursue  the  narrative  farther.     It 


SELF-RELIANCE.  303 

is  sufficient  for  our  purpose  to  add,  that  the  daugh- 
ters "followed  the  advice  of  their  father  and  made 
themselves  acquainted  with  the  millinery  business. 
In  a  few  years  their  father  lost  every  dollar  he 
possessed,  and  a  shock  of  palsy  deprived  him  of 
his  physical  powers  at  the  same  time.  The  daugh- 
ters at  once  opened  a  milliner's  shop,  and  were 
able  thereby  to  support  themselves  and  their 
parents  in  a  very  comfortable  manner. 

No  girl  can  say,  "  I  shall  not  share  an  experience 
so  bitter,  though  others  have."  Misfortune  has 
swept  away  the  hopes  of  the  prosperous  too  often 
to  leave  the  opportunity  of  laying  this  flattering 
unction  to  the  soul.  Even  kings  and  queens,  with 
all  the  security  of  thrones  and  royal  titles,  can- 
not arrogate  to  themselves  this  unchequered  expe- 
rience. There  was  Maria  Antoinette.  When  she 
was  wedded  to  King  Louis,  she  was  distinguished 
for  beauty  and  accomplishments.  She  was  the 
star  of  the  magnificent  court  over  which  she  pre- 
sided. Yet,  in  a  few  years  we  see  her  before  a 
civil  tribunal,  clad  in  coarse  and  mean  apparel. 
Her  face  is  pallid  and  thin  with  care  and  grief, 
and  there  is  scarcely  a  trace  of  her  former  self 
upon  her  brow.  In  a  few  hours  she  died  as  male- 
factors die,  and  was  buried  in  a  coffin  that  cost  but 
seven  francs.  There  was  a  good  deal  of  meaning 
in  the  words  of  Napoleon's  mother,  who  carefully 


304          THE   GOOD   GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

saved  her  income  from  year  to  year,  in  reply  to 
the  inquiry : 

"  Why  do  you,  the  mother  of  a  great  emperor, 
so  carefully  labor  to  amass  money  ?  " 

She  replied  :  "  Who  knows  but  that  one  day  I 
may  have  to  give  bi'ead  to  all  these  kings  ?  "  She 
lived  to  see  the  thrones  of  her  children  over- 
turned. 

But  the  saddest  and  most  appalling  results  of  a 
want  of  self-reliance  are  found  in  the  annals  of 
impurity  and  crime.  In  our  populous  cities  thou- 
sands of  youthful  women  have  fallen  from  virtue 
into  loathsome  vice  to  save  themselves  from  star- 
vation. Deprived  of  the  friends  upon  whom  they 
have  leaned,  and  unable  to  rely  upon  their  own 
exertions  for  maintenance,  they  have  yielded  to 
the  solicitations  of  the  seducer  as  the  last  resort. 
Had  they  possessed  that  self-reliance  which  proves 
best  when  most  needed,  and  that  decision  which 
is  usually  found  in  conjunction  with  it,  they  might 
have  been  saved.  Lacking  this,  they  fell  before 
the  destroyer. 

But,  though  girls  may  not  experience  such  trials 
as  we  have  described,  self-reliance  is  still  an  indis- 
pensable possession.  It  is  necessary  to  a  complete 
development  of  character.  By-and-by  these  girls 
will  occupy  more  responsible  positions  in  society. 
Instead  of  being  led,  they  will  le;:d  others.  They 


SELF-RELIANCE.  305 

will  be  obliged  to  plan  and  execute  for  themselves, 
in  s^ome  measure,  whatever  be  the  places  they 
occupy.  Now,  self-reliance  is  needful  in  all  these 
circumstances.  They  cannot  act  well  their  parts 
without  it. 

We  say,  then,  in  conclusion,  to  the  reader — Cul- 
tivate as  far  as  possible  this  excellent  trait.  You 
need  not  be  proud,  nor  too  self-confident,  in  con- 
sequence. Neither  of  these  evils  results  from  a 
properly  developed  self-reliance.  Think  for  your-\ 
self,  —  act  for  yourself,  —  depend  upon  your  own 
personal  exertions.  Heed  the  following  advice, 
which  the  noble  Henry  Laurens,  of  South  Caro- 
lina, who  was  imprisoned  in  the  Tower  of  London 
during  the  revolutionary  war,  wrote  to  his  daugh- 
ters, whom  he  had  reared  in  expensive  living: 
"  It  is  my  duty  to  warn  you  to  prepare  for  the  trial 
of  earning  your  daily  bread  by  your  daily  labor. 
Fear  not  servitude.  Encdunter  it,  if  it  shall  be 
necessary,  with  the  spirit  becoming  a  woman  of 
an  honest  and  pious  heart." 
26* 


'  j  *' 


CHAPTER    XXVIII. 


DECISION. 


THE  MOON  AND  HER  MOTHER  —  CONNECTION  WITH  SELF-RELIANCE 
—  PRINCESS  Otf  ORANGE  —  GIRLS  THAT  f'AY  "NO"  —  DECISION 
NECESSARY  TO  THE  IMPROVEMENT  OP  TKIB —  HOW  MARY  LYON 
TAUGHT  PUPILS  .DECISION  —  TEMPTATIO  V  TO  WASTE  TIME  IN 
BED  —  HERSELF  A  PATTERN  OP — FELLOW8HIPPING  YOUNG  MEN 
OF  DOUB'TFUL  CHARACTER  —  DECISION  OF  RUTH  —  NOT  IMPOSSI- 
BLE TO  CULTIVATE  IT  —  THE  FATHER  WHO  COULD- NOT  DECIDX 
FOR  WHICH  SON  TO  DIE — REMARK  OF  WILLIAM  WIRT. 


ONE  of  ^Esop's  fables  tells  us  that  the  Moon 
once  asked  her  mother  to  make  her  a  little  cloak 
that  would  fit  her  well.  "  How,"  replied  she,  "  can 
I  make  a  cloak  to  fit  "you,  when  you  are  now  a 
new  Moon,  and  then  a  full  Moon,  and  then  again 
neither  one  nor  the  other  ?  "  The  fable  has  an 
application  to  many  girls;  for  many  are  like  the 
Moon,  one  thing  to-day  and  another  to-morrow. 
Nor  is  this  defect  of  character  peculiar  to  girls. 
A  large  majority  of  people,  old  and  young,  of  both 
sexes,  do  not  possess  decision  of  character.  For 
this  reason,  many  of  them  make  no  mark  upon 
the  world.  No  person  can  accomplish  much  with- 


DECISION.  307 

out  this  element  of  character.  It  is  one  of  that 
union  of  qualities  which  alone  can  achieve  success ; 
it  is  the  secret  spring  of  self-reliance,  just  con- 
sidered. A  girl  must  be  decided,  if  she  would 
depend  upon  her  own  exertions  to  triumph  over 
difficulties.  It  is  equally  necessary,  too,  in  the 
formation  of  an  excellent  character.  There  are 
so  many  temptations,  so  many  perplexities  and 
deceptions,  so  many  things  to  warp  or  bias  opin- 
ion and  practice,  in  this  world,  that  it  is  ex- 
ceedingly difficult  to  form  a  high,  virtuous  char- 
acter. Every  day  and  hour  decision  is  necessary 
to  this  end.  If  Anne,  the  Princess  of  Orange,  had 
not  possessed  this  trait,  it  would  never  have  been 
said  of  her :  "  Her  heart  was  firm  and  magnan- 
imous, her  principles  were  sure  and  invariable, 
her.  opinions  constant,  founded  upon  the  laws  of 
God  and  probity  and  justice ;  and  nothing  could 
alter  or  change  them.  She  gained  the  mastery 
over  her  passions  —  over  all  their  illusions  and 
irregular  desires.  Her  heart  abhorred  vice,  and 
detested  falsehood  and  cunning.  .  Neither  fear 
nor  death  itself  ever  found  her  weak  or  pusillan- 
imous." 

Girls  that  learn  to  utter  at  the  proper  tune  a 
resolute,  decided  No !  have  the  advantage  of  the 
wavering  and  hesitating  class.  They  are  frequently 
solicited  to  mingle  in  amusements  of  doubtful  char- 


308          THE   GOOD  GIRL  AND   TRUE   WOMAN. 

acter,  and  they  will  yield  to  the  invitation  nnless 
decision  be  a  prominent  trait.  This  has  been  true 
of  many  girls  who  have  become  vain  and  worldly. 
Their  instructions  and  associations  from  childhood 
may  have  been  adverse  to  such  worldliness,  but 
they  lacked  the  firm  resolve  that  refuses  an  invi- 
tation, and  so  were  borne  away  upon  the  easy  tide 
of  pleasure.  It  requires  more  decision  than  many 
suppose,  to  refuse  the  proposals  of  friendship  and 
kindness  at  such  a  time.  She  who  has  not  been 
trained  to  decision  of  character,  is  almost  sure  to 
yield. 

This  trait  is  necessary  to  the  proper  improve- 
ment of  time.  The  love  of  ease  or  frivolity  may 
set  up  its  claim  for  a  good  share  of  the  time,  and  it 
will  require  no  small  degree  cf  this  element  to  be 
able  always  to  resist  the  temptation.  Even  to  rise 
early  in  the  morning  cannot  be  steadily  accom- 
plished without  it.  When  Miss  Lyon  had  charge 
of  the  Mount  Holyoke  Seminary,  she  recognized 
this  fact  in  her  plan  of  making  her  pupils  early 
risers,  an  account  of  which  we  have  as  follows : 

She  would  say,  "Now,  young  ladies,  I  want 
every  one  of  you  to  fix  on  an  hour  for  rising  for  a 
week  to  come.  Be  sure  not  to  fix  on  too  early  an 
hour,  for  it  would  not  injure  your  character  nearly 
so  much  to  make  a  mistake,  and  decide  to  rise  at 
six,  when  you  might  rise  at  half-past  five  without 


DECISION.  309 

any  injury  to  your  health,  as  to  fail  of  meeting 
your  own  appointment." 

Then  she  would  proceed  :  "  All  who  have  de- 
cided on  their  time  of  rising  for  a  week,  may  raise 
their  hands."  The-  undecided  would  not  lift  their 
hands.  "  You  may  all  rise,  then  ;  all  means  every 
one.  Yes,  all  are  on  their  feet  now.  If  you  have 
decided  on  your  time  of  rising,  you  may  take  your 
seat."  The  narrator  says,  "  The  lovers  of  their 
own  ease  and  comfort  would  be  left  standing, 
while  a  large  majority  of  the  school  were  com- 
fortably seated.  "  As  fast  as  you  fix  on  the  hour, 
you  may  take  your  seats,"  was  the  curt  and  effect- 
ive address  to  those  who  were  still  unable  to 
decide.  No  one  could  sit  down  undecided,  with- 
out acting  a  falsehood,  which  was  considered  in 
the  school  dishonorable,  as  well  as  wrong.  If  any 
were  inclined  to  stand  it  out,  she  was  patient  with 
them,  and  willing  to  stand  as  long  as  they  did. 
When  all  had^signified  that  the  decision  was  made, 
they  were  directed  to  write  down  their  decision, 
and  hand  their  papers  to  her,  or  keep  them  till  she 
called  for  them.  One  of  the  first  remarks  on  the 
succeeding  day  would  be, "  How  did  you  succeed, 
young  ladies,  about  rising  ?  You  may  all  stand. 
Those  who  were  up  this  morning  at  the  time  they 
set  yesterday,  may  take  their  seats."  A  very  large 
majority  would  be  found  to  have  kept  their  res- 


310         THE   GOOD    GIRL    AND   TRUE    WOMAN. 

olutions,  and  the  delinquents  could  complain  of  no 
one  but  themselves."  The  reader  will  notice  that 
she  insisted  upon  their  rising  just  at  the  time  fixed, 
declaring  that  it  would  injure  their  characters 
more  to  fail  of  rising  at  the  time  specified,  than 
not  to  rise  habitually  so  early  by  one  half  hour  as 
they  might.  She  would  say,  "  If  that  hour  is  five, 
and  you  are  on  your  feet  before  the  clock  has  done 
striking,  then  you  are  punctual ;  but  if  you  lie  five 
minutes,  or  even  one,  after  that  hour  passes,  you 
are  tardy,  and  you  must  lose  a  little  respect  for 
yourself  in  consequence."  Her  plan  was  well 
suited  not  only  to  make  them  early  risers,  but 
also  to  make  them  decided.  If  they  had  resolu- 
tion enough  to  spring  to  their  feet  the  very  mo- 
ment they  set  to  rise,  notwithstanding  the  plea  of 
drowsiness  to  the  contrary,  they  would  have  res- 
olution enough  to  resist  many  other  temptations, 
and  to  discharge  other  duties  promptly.  It  would 
be  a  habit  that  would  aid  them  in  meeting  all 
their  obligations. 

Miss  Lyon  herself  was  a  pattern  of  that  decision 
which  she  urged  the  young  to  cultivate.  Some 
called  her  "  set  in  her  opinions ;"  but  they  mistook 
her  genuine  decision  for  obstinate  adherence  to 
preconceived  ideas.  Her  biographer  says :  "  Those 
who  did  not  entirely  agree  with  her,  had  too  much 
confidence  in  her  earnest  and  benevolent  inten- 


DECISION.  311 

tions  to  try  to  thwart  her  plans.  She  was,  as  they 
thought,  and  as  she  very  well  knew,  set  in  her 
opinions ;  but  she  was  set  only  when  sure  she  was 
right."  Again :  "  She  made  the  impresswn  on 
every  one  with  whom  she  had  anything  to  do,  from 
the  common  day  laborer  to  the  president  of  a  col- 
lege, that  if  she  had  set  herself  to  do  anything,  it 
was  of  no  use  to  oppose  her."  One  fact,  hereto, 
fore  stated,  is  proof  of  her  remarkable  decision. 
She  resolved  to  devote  her  life  to  the  instruction 
of  young  ladies ;  and  so  resolutely  did  she  carry 
out  her  determination,  as  to  refuse,  at  once,  a  flat- 
tering offer  of  marriage.  Many  young  ladies  who 
become  members  of  our  Normal  Schools,  under 
the  regulation  that  they  shall  teach  one  year  in 
the  commonwealth,  after  their  education  is  com- 
pleted, enter  into  the  matrimonial  state  within  a 
few  months,  without  any  regard  to  their  pledge. 
The  same  is  true  of  some  who  go  to  the  West  to 
teach,  under  the  auspices  of  the  society  that  fur- 
nishes teachers  to  that  portion  of  our  countiy. 
The  example  of  Miss  Lyon  appears  more  remark- 
able in  contrast  with  theirs. 

In  another  place  we  have  referred  to  the  fact, 
that  young  ladies  often  have  fellowship  with  young 
men  of  doubtful  character  in  the  social  circle. 
Perhaps  it  arises,  in  a  measure,  from  the  want  of 
decision  enough  to  show  that  the  unprincipled  are 


312     THE  GOOD  GIRL  AND  TRUE  WOMAN. 

unworthy  of  their  society.  It  demands  courage 
to  be  sufficiently  decided  in  such  a  case,  and  few 
there  are  who  possess  it.  It  is  said  that  Queen 
Victoria,  in  an  assembly  of  the  dignitaries  of  her 
realm,  actually  turned  her  back  upon  one  of  the 
number  who  approached  her  with  grace  and  def- 
erence, and  the  reason  she  assigned  was  the  rep- 
utation of  the  man  for  vicious  practices.  This  was 
rare  independence,  and  a  little  more  of  it  among 
the  young  women  of  our  land  would  contribute 
largely  to  their  character  and  influence. 

How  beautiful  was  this  trait  in  the  lovely  Ruth ! 
She  meant  to  be  a  faithful  daughter,  cost  what  it 
might.  Therefore,  she  would  leave  her  native  land, 
or  make  any  other  sacrifice  for  her  mother's  sake. 
"  "Where  thou  goest  I  will  go ;  where  thou  lodgest 
I  will  lodge ;  thy  people  shall  be  my  people,  and 
thy  God  my  God."  This  is  the  language  of  deci- 
sion. It  is  strong  and  heart-felt.  In  a  religious 
point  of  view,  it  is  an  interesting  resolve.  Ruth 
had  relinquished  her  heathen  superstitions,  and 
become  a  worshipper  of  the  true  God ;  and  now 
she  decided  to  share  the  future  with  her  mother, 
at  whatever  sacrifice  of  feeling  or  comfort.  If 
every  young  disciple  of  our  Lord  would  declare, 
with  equal  firmness,  to  him,  "  Where  thou  goest  I 
will  go,"  though  it  lead  me  away  from  home  and 
kindred,  and  all  the  heart  holds  dear,  to  lands  of 


DECISION.  313 

darkness,  it  would  be  a  stand  for  Christ  worthy  of 
their  profession.  Alas  !  the  want  of  this  decision, 
brings  reproach  upon  the  name  of  Jesus. 

It  is  not  often  that  the  young  or  old  are  placed 
in  circumstances  where  the  exercise  of  this  trait  of 
character  is  impossible.  As  we  have  said,  many 
times  it  will  require  courage,  and  great  resolution, 
but  it  is  scarcely  once  in  a  lifetime  when  circum- 
stances will  render  decision  impossible.  A  his- 
torian relates  that  a  father  went  to  a  tyrannical 
ruler  to  secure  the  pardon  of  his  two  sons,  who 
were  condemned  to  die  with  other  military  men. 
He  offered  a  large  amount  of  money,  and  his  own 
life,  to  ransom  them.  He  was  informed  that  this 
equivalent  would  be  accepted  for  one  of  his  sons, 
because  the  laws  required  the  sacrifice  of  two ;  he 
must,  therefore,  decide  which  of  the  two  sons 
should  be  spared.  He  was  ready  to  offer  his  life 
for  one  or  both ;  but  he  was  unable  to  decide 
which  should  live,  and  which  should  die.  While 
in  this  painful  dilemma,  both  the  sons  were  re- 
manded to  execution.  It  is  only  once  in  an  age 
that  kindre'd  perplexities  and  difficulties,  perhaps 
we  may  call  them  impossibilities^  arise. 

It  was  a  remark  of  Wirt,  "  Decision  of  charac- 
ter will  often  give  to  an  inferior  mind  the  com- 
mand over  the  superior." 

27 


CHAPTER    XXIX. 

PERSEVERANCE. 

•REMARK  OF  MADAME  NECKER  —  THIS  QUALITY  NECESSARY  IN 
MINOR  DUTIES  — NECESSARY  TO  ENERGY  AND  GENERAL  STRENGTH 
OP  CHARACTER  —  PERSEVERANCE  OF  MARY  LYON  —  MADE  HER 
A  TEACHER  AND  POUNDER  OP  MOUNT  HOLYOKE  SEMINARY  — 
TESTIMONY  OF  DR.  HITCHCOCK  —  STICKING  TO  A  THING  —  HAN- 
UAH  MORE,  AND  HER  LABORS  IN  A  WICKED  COMMUNITY  —  THE 
WIPE  OP  DR.  JOHN  KITTO  —  ALL  NEED  THE  QUALITY  —  LINES  OP 

A   POET. 

IT  was  a  remark  of  Madame  Necker,  that 
"  Want  of  perseverance  is  the  great  fault  of  woman 
in  everything,  —  morals,  attention  to  health,  friend- 
ship, etc."  This  remark  is  probably  just.  Women 
do  not  necessarily  engage  in  those  pursuits  which 
are  best  suited  to  develop  this  element  of 'success- 
ful living.  Here  and  there  one  only  is  placed  in 
circumstances,  and  subjected  to  a  discipline,  that 
enable  her  to  become  eminent  for  this  quality. 
Hence,  it  is  not  thought  necessary  that  girls  should 
be  educated  with  reference  to  this  trait.  The  other 
sex  grapple  with  the  main  difficulties  of  life,  and 
prosecute  nearly  all  enterprises  triumphantly  to  the 


PERSEVERANCE.  315 

end.  But  perseverance  is  just  as  requisite  in  per- 
forming the  minor  duties  of  life  well,  and  in  prose- 
cuting the  minor  purposes  of  life,  as  in  those  of 
more  importance.  A  girl  needs  this  trait  in  pur- 
suing her  studies  in  the  school-room,  and  in  ac- 
quiring a  competent  knowledge  of  needle-work 
and  domestic  economy. *  An  eminent  teacher  said 
to  the  writer,  "Girls  are  more  easily  -discouraged 
than  boys  with  difficulties  in  their  studies.  They 
are  not  so  persevering  to  master  the  complex  things 
of  some  of  the  sciences."  He  might  have  had  a 
peculiar  experience ;  yet  we  think  that  teachers 
generally  would  confirm  his  testimony; 

Perseverance  is  an  element  of  character  which  is 
indispensable,  though  a  person  may  not  meet  with 
any  obstacles  in  his  or  her  pathway.  It  is  necessary 
to  that  energy  and  general  strength  of  character 
which  successful  persons  usually  possess.  All  the 
females  who  have  been  prominent  in  good  achieve- 
ments possessed  it.  Without  it  Mary  Lyon  would 
never  have  founded  the  Female  Seminary  at  South 
Hadley,  nor  even  prepared  herself  for  a  teacher. 
When  we  consider  the  obstacles  which  she  over- 
came in  acquiring  an  education,  and  the  prejudice, 
apathy,  and  opposition  which  she  encountered  in 
raising  means  for  the  erection  of  her  favorite  Semi- 
nary, we  are  compelled  to  say  that  her  persever- 
ance was  never  surpassed  by  any  of  her  sex.  Her 


316  THE    GOOD   GIKL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

own  friends  and  relatives  admired  her  plans  and 
commended  her  spirit ;  but  some  of  them  felt 
obliged  to  say,  "  The  thing"  is  impossible."  They 
saw  scarcely  any  hope  of  its  success.  But  her  own 
heart  did  not  fail  her,  unless  it  was  on  one  occa- 
sion, when  a  meeting  was  called  in  Boston  to  aid 
the  enterprise,  and  which  proved  a  failure.  She 
wrote  of  it :  "  There  was  a  meeting  appointed  in 
Boston,  in  reference  to  the  plan  of  a  Seminary. 
Very  few  were  present.  Tlje  meeting  was  ad- 
joured;  and  the  adjourned  meeting  utterly  failed. 
There  were,  not  enough  present  to  organize,  and 
there  the  business  in  my  view  has  come  to  an  end. 
I  do  not  think  it  best  to  revive  the  subject  again. 
The  indications  of  Providence  appear  to  me 
plain."  But  her  discouragement  was  not  of  long 
duration.  Her  lofty  spirit  mounted  above  these 
scenes  of  doubt  and  darkness,  and  she  trampled 
upon  every  difficulty  in  her  triumphal  march  to 
success.  It  consumed  a  long  time,  and  here  her 
perseverance  becomes  especially  manifest.  It  was 
not  the  number  of  the  Grecian  army,  nor  the  skill 
of  their  great  commander,  Achilles,  that  conquered 
the  strong  city  of  Troy,  but  the  ten  years  of  earnest, 
persevering  struggle.  The  Egyptian  pyramids  were 
the  work  of  successive  years,  rising  little  by  little  in 
their  solemn  grandeur,  until  the  last  stone  was 
raised.  Thus  it  has  been  with  all  remarkable 


PEKSEVERANCE.  31 7 

enterprises  in  the  ages  gone  by.  Without  perse- 
verance the  Mount  Holyoke  Seminary  would  have 
failed. 

Speaking  of  this  trait  of  Miss  Lyon's  character, 
Dr.  Hitchcock  said,  in  his  anniversary  address, 
after  her  decease : 

"Finally,  I  must  not  omit  to  mention  her -great 
mental  energy  and  invincible  perseverance.  That 
energy  was  a  quiet  power,  but  you  saw  that  it  had 
giant  strength.  It  might  fail  of  success  to-day, 
but  in  that  case  it  calmly  waited  till  to-morrow. 
Nay,  a  score  of  failures  seemed  only  to  rouse  the 
inventive  faculty  to  devise  new  modes  of  operation ; 
nor  would  the  story  of  the  ant  that  fell  backward 
sixty-nine  times  in  attempting  to  climb  a  wall,  and 
succeeded  only  upon  the  seventieth  trial,  be  an  ex- 
aggerated representation  of  her  perseverance.  Had 
she  lacked  this  energy  and  perseverance,  she  might 
have  been  distinguished  in  something  else,  but  she 
never  would  have  been  the  founder  of  Mount  Hol- 
yoke Female  Seminary." 

An  eccentric  writer  defines  perseverance,  "  stick- 
ing to  a  thing."  The  definition  points  us  to  the 
secret  of  that  power  which  perseverance  ever 
wields.  It  is  not  a  few  spasmodic,  strenuous  efforts 
that  secure  success,  so  much  as  "  sticking "  to  the 
work  with  a  pertinacity  that  knows  no  defeat, 
[f  a  girl  undertakes  to  acquire  a  knowledge  of  any 
27» 


318         THE    GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

science,  as  Astronomy  or  Philosophy,  it  is  the  work 
of  many  weeks  and  months  of  patient  study.  A 
few  unusual  and  desperate  exertions  will  not  secure 
the  triumph.  She  is  to  add  little  to  little,  slow  and 
sure,  as-  the  coral  insect  constructs  an  island  of 
splendor  in  the  sea. 

Again,  Miss  Lyon  reminds  us  of  Hannah  More 
in  respect  to  persevering  endeavors.  The  latter 
originated  that  system  of  schools  for  the  poor,  for 
which  she  was  highly  distinguished,  in  circum- 
stances of  the  most  discouraging  nature.  She  de- 
scribes her  trials  as  follows  :  "  I  was  told  we  should 
meet  with  great  opposition,  if  I  did  not  try  to  pro- 
pitiate the  chief  despot  of  the  village  [the  first 
place  where  she  established  a  school],  who  is  very 
rich  and  very  brutal ;  so  I  ventured  to  the  den  of 
this  monster,  in  a  country  as  savage  as  himself.  He 
begged  I  would  not  think  of  bringing  any  religion 
into  the  country ;  it  made  the  poor  lazy  and  use- 
less. In  vain  I  represented  to  him  that  they  would 
be  more  industrious  as  they  were  better  principled ; 
and  that  I  had  no  selfish  view  in  what  I  was  doing. 
He  gave  me  to  understand  that  he  knew  the  world 
too  well  to  believe  either  one  or  the  other.  I  was 
almost  discouraged  •  from  more  visits;  but  I  found 
that  friends  must  be  secured,  at  all  events ;  for  if 
these  rich  savages  set  their  faces  against  us,  I  saw 
that  nothing  but  hostilities  would  ensue.  So  I 


PERSEVERANCE.  319 

• 

made  eleven  more  of  these  disagreeable  visits ;  and, 
as  I  improved  in  the  art  of  canvassing,  had  better 
success.  Miss  TV.  would  have  been  shocked  had 
she  seen  the  petty  tyrants  whose  insolence  I  stroked 
and  tamed,  the  ugly  children  I  praised,  the  pointers 
and  spaniels  I  caressed,  the  cider  I  commended,  and 
the  wine  I  swallowed.  After  these  irresistible  flat- 
teries, I  inquired  of  each  if  he  could  recommend  me 
to  a  house,  and  said  that  I  had  a  little  plan  which 
I  hoped  would  secure  their  orchards  from  being 
robbed,  their  rabbits  from  being  shot,  their  game 
from  being  stolen,  and  which  might  lower  the  poor- 
rates.  If  effect  be  the  best  proof  of  eloquence,  then 
mine  was  a  good  speech  ;  for  I  gained,  in  time,  the 
hearty  concurrence  of  the  whole  people,  and  their 
promise  to  discourage  or  favor  the  poor,  as  they 
were-  attentive  or  negligent  in  sending  their 
children."  She  made  her  conquest,  against  the 
influence  of  the  despot  of  the  village,  by  personal 
conversation  with  one  individual  after  another,  —  a 
work  that  required  the  most  patient  and  perse- 
vering spirit.  It  was  the  beginning  of  an  enter- 
prise which  brought  to  the  author  of  it  a  world- 
wide fame. 

The  wife  of  Dr.  John  Kitto  is  another  example 
of  perseverance.  Her  husband  was  perfectly  deaf, 
and,  of  course,  was  shut  out  from  nearly  all  inter- 
course with  the  world.  His  literary  pursuits  re- 


320          THE    GOOD   GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

quired  much  research  in  extensive  libraries,  and  this 
consumed  time  which  he  desired  to  devote  to 
writing.  His  wife  had  not  been  reared  with  any 
reference  to  a  literary  career,  so  that  she  could  not 
render  him  any  special  assistance  in  his  studies 
without  first  surmounting  some  imposing  obstacles 
in  her  path.  She  nevertheless  resolved  to  become 
a  literal  help-meet  to  her  husband,  and  she  per- 
severed in  her  endeavors  to  become  acquainted 
with  the  subjects  upon  which  he  was  writing,  until 
she  rendered  herself  so  useful  to  him  that  he  could 
scarcely  prosecute  his  studies  without  her  assistance. 
It  is  probable  that  no  man  of  letters  was  ever  aided 
to  such  an  extent  by  his  wife,  as  was  Dr.  Kitto,  for 
along  series  of  years.  But  she  never  could  have 
accomplished  so  much  if  perseverance  had  not  im- 
parted energy  and  strength  to  her  character.  - 

It  is  not  necessary  to  multiply  illustrations  upon 
this  topic.  All  admit  the  value  of  perseverance,  —  at 
least,  all  who  have  lived  long  enough  to  observe 
its  triumphs  in  the  world.  We  would  have  the 
young  reader  value  it  as  adapted  to  the  sphere  and 
mission  of  girls.  Let  not  boys  have  all  the  glory 
that  is  to  be  won  by  this  stately  quality.  Girls 
need  it  as  really  as  they.  Let  them  persevere  in 
well-doing,  and  verily  they  will  have  their  reward. 
No  matter  how  humble  is  the  work  they  undertake, 
this  quality  will  be  of  lasting  service  to  them.  Even 


PEKSEVEKAJJCE.  321 

in  the  discharge  of  the  most  common-place  duties 
of  each  day,  it  will  be  found  invaluable.  The  sen- 
timent of  the  folio  wing  lines  ought  to  be  no  less  th« 
sentiment  of  girls  than  boys : 

"  Never  give  up !  —  it  is  wiser  and  better 
Always  to  hope  than  once  to  despair; 
Fling  off  the  load  of  doubt's  cankering  fetter, 
And  break  the  dark  spell  of  tyrannical  care ! 

Never  give  up!  or  the  burthen  may  sink    ~u — 

"*'i -«.««;."> 
Providence  kindly  has  mingled  the  cup, 

And,  in  all  trials  or  troubles,  bethink  you, 
The  watchword  of  life  must  be,  Never  give  up ! 

"  Never  give  up!  —  there  are  chances  and  changes, 
Helping  the  hopeful  a  hundred  to  one ; 

And,  through  the  chaos,  high  wisdom  arranges 
Ever  success  —  if  you  '11  only  hope  on. 

Never  give  up !  for  the  wisest  is  boldest, 

.,-;-;    . 

Knowing  that  Providence  mingles  the  cup ; 
And  of  all  maxims,  the  best  and  the  oldest 

Is  the  true  watchword  of,  Never  give  up! 

. 

"  Never  give  up !  —  though  the  grape-shot  may  rattla, 

Or  the  full  thunder-cloud  over  you  burst, 
Stand  like  a  rock,  and  the  storm  or  the  battle 

Little  shall  harm  you,  though  doing  their  worst! 
Never  give  up !  —  if  adversity  presses, 

Providence  wisely  has  mingled  the  cup ; 
And  the  best  counsel  in  all  your  distresses 

Is  the  stout  watchword  of,  Never  give  up  I" 


CHAPTER    XXX. 

•«v 
SELF-POSSESSION. 

HISS  LTON'«  E8ENCEOFMIND — SPRINGING  FROM  DECISION  AST) 
SELF-RE;,.  A  NCE —  THE  YOUNG  LADY  AND  FRACTIOUS  HORSE  — 
THE  CHILD  ON  FIRE  —  THE  PLEASURE  PARTY  —  CHILD  SEIZED 
WITH  CONVULSIONS — SELF-POSSESSION  WOULD  HAVE  BEEN  VAL- 
UABLE IN  ALL  THESE  CASES  —  MRS.  DAVIE88  OF  KENTUCKY  — 
THE  SCHOOL-HOUSE  OU  FIRE  —  WOMAN  WHO  SHOT  THE  ROBBER 
IS  ASHLAND,  MASS.  —  SUITED  TO  FEMALE  CHARACTER  —  SOME 
GIRLS  THINK  TIMIDITY  IS  LADY-LIKE  —  SELF-POSSESSION  OF  THB 
CHRISTIAN  —  DIVINE  WORDS. 

QUALITIES  hitherto  considered  combined  to  give 
Miss  Lyon  remarkable  presence  of  mind.  Those 
strong  elements  of  character  like  decision  and  self- 
reliance,  are  well  suited  to  beget  this  indispensable 
quality ;  for  it  is  that  condition  of  mind  and  heart 
that  renders  a  person  calm  and  unconfused  in  cir- 
cumstances of  danger,  suffering,  sorrow,  and  any 
marked  surprise.  Such  occasions  arise  daily  in  the 
experience  of  old  and  young  of  both  sexes.  With- 
out self-possession  they  often  bring  persons  into 
difficulty.  They  become  the  sport  of  these  sur- 
prises, and  bring  evil  not  only  upon  themselves, 
but  ulso  upon  others.  Miss  Lyon  always  reaped 


SELF-POSSESSION.  323 

the  fruits  of  this  excellent  trait.  No  trials,  or  unex- 
pected events  of  any  kind,  deprived  her  of  self-corn- 
niand.  We  have  cited  incidents  of  heMife,  in  pre- 
vious chapters,  which  show  how  great  was  her  self- 
possession  even  when  malignant  disease  was  filling 
others  with  consternation. 

That  women  daily  need  this  element  of  character 
may  be  learned  from  the  following  facts :  A 
young  lady  was  riding  with  her  betrothed  friend, 
when  the  horse  became  restive,  and  dashed  on  at  a 
furious  rate.  The  girl  at  once  lost  command  of 
herself,  and  began  to  scream,  which  caused  the 
horse  to  be  still  more  furious.  Her  own  reason 
and  common  sense  would  have  told  her  that 
screaming  would  frighten  the  animal  into  greater 
fury,  but  neither  of  them  are  allowed  to  advise 
when  self-possession  is  wanting. 

A  young  woman  was  left  in  charge  of  a  child, 
during  a  brief  absence  of  its  parents.  Accidentally 
it's  clothes  took  fire,  and,  instead  of  promptly  ex- 
tinguishing the  flames,  she  screamed,  and  ran  out 
of  doors  for  help,  leaving  the  little  sufferer  to  die  a 
horrible  death.  Presence  of  mind  would  havo 
enabled  her  to  save  the  child  from  this  painful  end. 

A  pleasure  party  were  sailing  on  a  still  and  beau- 
tiful lake.  The  large  number  put  them  in  rather  a 
precarious  condition,  although  care  and  coolness 
would  have  carried  them  safely  on  their  excursion. 


324          THE    GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

A  young  lady  changed  her  position  so  suddenly 
that  the  boat  dipped  a  little  water.  She  uttered  a 
scream,  and  sprang  to  the  other  side,  while  others 
did  the  same,  and  immediately  the  boat  was  upset, 
and  several  of  the  party  were  drowned. 

A  child  was  unexpectedly  seized  with  convulsions 
as  his  fond  mother  and  other  members  of  the  family 
sat  with  him  in  the  room.  In  an  instant  he  fell 
prostrate  and  convulsed  upon  the  floor,  The 
mother  and  sister  cried  out  in  great  excitement, 
one  running  hi  one  direction  and  the  other  in 
another,  yet  to  no  purpose,  while  the  afflicted  boy 
lay  writhing  in  a  fit.  They  were  totally  unfitted  to 
render  suitable  aid  in  consequence  of  their  fright. 

A  multitude  of  such  cases  are  occurring  daily. 
In  the  first  instance,  if  the  young  lady  had  been 
self-possessed,  the  horse  might  have  been  controlled. 
In  the  second,  self-possession  would  have  easily  ex- 
tinguished the  flames  that  caught  the  child's  dress. 
In  the  third,  the  same  presence  of  mind  would  have 
prevented  the  upsetting  of  the  boat.  And  in  the 
fourth,  it  would  have  enabled  the  mother  and  sister 
to  attend  at  once  to  the  relief  of  the  convulsed 
child.  Here  is  certainly  a  very  valuable  trait  to 
cultivate.  It  will  often  be  of  great  service  to  every 
woman.  The  foregoing,  contrasted  with  the  follow- 
ing facts,  illustrate  more  fully  this  point : 

In  the  early  history  of  our  country,  the  wife  of 


SELF-POSSESSION.  325 

a  Mr.  Daviess,  of  Kentucky,  distinguished  herself 
for  self-possession  in  times  of  imminent  danger.  On 
one  occasion  a  party  of  Indians  came  to  her  house, 
during  her  husband's  absence,  and  ordered  herself 
and  children  to  prepare  to  leave  as  their  prisoners. 
As  Mr.  D.  was  gone  with  a  small  party  in  pursuit 
of  a  robber,  and  was  expected  to  return  every 
moment,  she  contrived  to  delay  the  Indians  by 
showing  them  her  dresses.  The  expedient  was  a 
good  one  for  the  object  she  had  in  view,  and  evinced 
a  good  degree  of  self-control.  At  another  time, 
a  notorious  plunderer  came  to  her  dwelling  when 
she  was  alone,  with  the  intention  of  rifling  the 
house.  He  was  armed  with  gun  and  tomahawk, 
and  presented  a  very  savage  and  fierce  appearance. 
"With  much  coolness  she  set  whiskey  upon  the  table 
and  invited  him  to  drink.  Unsuspectingly,  he 
accepted  the  invitation,  and  set  down  his  gun. 
She  immediately  seized  it,  and,  pointing  it  to  his 
breast,  declared  that  if  he  stirred  an  inch  she  would 
fire.  The  desperado  was  terrified  at  his  appalling 
danger,  and  dared  not  stir  from  his  tracks.  Her 
husband  soon  returned  to  her  relief.  There  was 
great  presence  of  mind  evinced  in  this  expedient 
to  capture  the  robber.  Without  it  she  might  have 
lost  both  property  and  life. 

Not  long  since,  a  public  school-house,  in  a  large 
city,  took  fire,  from  some  defect  in  the  arrangement 
28 


326          THE   GOOD   GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

for  warming  the  rooms.  There  were  several  hun- 
dred pupils  in  the  building  at  the  time.  One  of  the 
female  teachers  discovered  the  fire,  and,  instead  of 
screaming  as  loudly  as  possible  in  her  fright,  as  some 
females  would  have  done,  she  thought  of  the 
injury  and  probable  death  that  would  occur  if  the 
pupils  should  rush  en  masse  to  the  doors  for  safety. 
In  a  moment  she  resolved  to  communicate  the 
knowledge  of  the  fire  to  the  teachers  in  the  several 
rooms,  that  they  might  direct  their  pupils  to  leave 
their  seats  in  order,  without  informing  them  that 
the  house  was  on  fire.  In  this  way  every  one  es- 
caped without  injury.  Had  she  cried  "  Fire!  "  the 
moment  she  discovered  it,  and  rushed  into  the 
rooms  with  this  cry  upon  her  lips,  many  would  have 
been  injured,  and  perhaps  killed,  in  the  attempt  to 
escape. 

The  reader  probably  remembers  the  case  of  the 
woman  in  Ashland,  Mass.,  who  shot  the  midnight 
robber.  It  illustrates  the  subject  before  us  so  well 
that  we  must  give  it  somewhat  in  detail.  She  was 
a  very  timid  woman  —  so  timid  that  she  fixed  upon 
that  time  for  her  husband  to  be  absent,  as  there 
would  be  a  moon  a  good  part  of  the  night.  Yet 
she  was  a  person  of  remarkable  presence  of  mind,  as 
the  details  of  this  occurrence  will  show.  She  was 
aroused  from  her  slumber,  about  one  o'clock  in  the 
morning,  by  a  noise.  She  raised  herself  up  in  bed, 


SELF-POSSESSION.  327 

and  listened.  Sh  ^  heard  a  noise  below,  as  if  some 
one  hit  a  chair  v  ith  his  foot.  She  arose,  went  to 
the  door,  turned  vhe  key  softly,  and  opened  it  just 
enough  to  see  and  listen.  She  saw  the  light  from  a 
dark  lantern  reflected  upon  the  banister,  and  heard 
whispering.  "  Ro  bbers,  surely !"  she  thought.  She 
stepped  back  to  the  head  of  the  bed  for  a  gun 
which  her  husband  kept  loaded  there.  Returning 
to  the  door,  she  recollected  that  her  spectacles  were 
upon  the  toilet-stand ;  and,  being  too  near  sighted 
to  use  a  gun  to  advantage  without  them,  she 
stepped  back  for  them,  and  adjusted  them  upon  her 
eyes.  She  then  opened  the  door  wide,  "walked  to 
the  head  of  the  stairs,  and  asked,  "What  is 
wanted  ?  "  No  voice  replied ;  but  the  hall  was  still 
as  the  grave.  **  What'  is  wanted  ?  "  she  inquired 
again,  in  a  more  emphatic  tone.  "Hold  your 
tongue,  or  I  'II  blow  your  brains  out !  "  was  the  re- 
sponse from  an  unknown  man  at  the  foot  of  the 
stairs.  She  fired  as  soon  as  she  could  bring  the  gun 
to  her  shoulder,  and  the  exclamation,  "  0,  God! " 
assured  her  that  she  did  not  miss  the  mark.  "  Cour- 
ageous woman ! "  exclaim  many  persons.  But  she 
was  not  courageous.  She  coultl  not  sleep,  gener- 
ally, when  her  husband  was  absent,  on  account  of 
fear.  It  was  self-possession  that  enabled  her  to 
perform  that  unusual  feat.  Nothing  more  is  dis- 
covered in  it  than  remarkable  presence  of  mind. 


328     THE  GOOD  GIRL  AND  TRUE  WOMAN. 

Many  females  would  have  fainted,  and  left  their 
dwelling  to  be  ransacked  by  the  villains.  This  ele- 
ment of  her  character  was  of  service  not  only  to 
herself  and  family,  but  also  to  the  community.  The 
chief  of  the  police  of  Boston  remarked  to  a  friend 
of  the  author,  that  the  "  act  of  this  woman,  in  shoot- 
ing the  robber,  did  more  to  check  burglaries  in  the 
city  and  vicinity  than  the  whole  police  force,  be- 
cause it  showed  this  class  that  women  can  use  fire- 
arms to  defend  their  habitations." 

To  some  this  element  of  character  appears  too 
masculine  for  females,  and  they  are  quite  disposed 
to  treat  the  matter  with  disfavor.  Perhaps  the 
examples  cited  are  not  selected  from  the  most  ap- 
propriate class.  We  do  not  expect  that  females 
will  be  called  upon  to  defend  themselves  from  the 
attacks  of  savages,  or  that  they  will  often  be  sum- 
moned to  repel  burglars  from  their  abodes.  We 
cite  these  examples  because  they  are  striking,  that 
the  nature  of  self-possession  may  more  clearly  ap- 
pear. It  is  a  quality  necessary  to  strength  of 
character,  and  no  girl  is  fully  qualified  to  fulfil  the 
mission  of  life  without  it.  Dignity  and  efficiency 
are  promoted  by  it  in  a  great  degree. 

Some  girls  appear  to  think  that  a  kind  of  timidity 
and  confusion  of  mind  are  alone  lady -like  at  times. 
Hence  they  never  aim  to  rise  above  the  fear 
of  spiders,  and  other  animals  which  sometimes 


SELF-POSSESSION.  329 

cross  their  paths.  The  sight  of  one  of  these  crea- 
tures extorts  a  shriek  of  surprise  and  fear  from 
them,  as  if  they  were  near  the  jaws  of  crocodiles. 
We  have  witnessed  this  want  of  presence  of  mind 
in  girls  with  mingled  pity  and  disgust.  It  is  a  weak- 
ness that  will  expose  the  actors  to  evil  in  the  most 
important  period  of  life.  A  girl  who  will  tremble 
and  shriek  over  a  harmless  spider  has  not  self-pos- 
session enough  to  meet  the  stern  realities  of  later 
life.  There  is  many  a  trial,  and  perhaps  calamity, 
that  may  come  upon  her  like  an  armed  man,  and 
without  this  quality  she  will  be  poorly  fitted  for 
the  bitter  experience. 

The  self-possession  of  the  true  Christian  is  really 
sublime.  His  trust  in  God  is  implicit,  and  he  has 
no  doubt  that  all  things  will  work  together  for  his 
good.  No  trial  or  calamity  surprises  him.  No 
misfortune  or  disappointment  overcomes  him.  He 
recognizes  the  hand  of  God  in  the  whole  of  life's 
affairs,  and  is  ready  to  say,  with  the  poet,  "What- 
ever is,  is  right."  How  calm  he  is  in  sorrow !  How 
cool  and  self-possessed  in  the  midst  of  peril !  Let 
him  walk  the  deck  of  a  burning  steamer,  and,  like 
Dr.  Armstrong,  he  moves  among  the  terrified  and 
frantic  passengers  as  an  angel  of  mercy,  directing 
them  to  the  stronghold  of  hope  in  the  skies.  A 
sublimer  spectacle  cannot  be  imagined.  And  this 
is  presence  of  mind  that  flows  from  a  sweet  trust 
28* 


230  THE    GOOD   GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOJULN. 

in  God.  Is  not  the  quality  desirable?  Who 
would  not  possess  it?  Surely  no  girl  that  desires 
strength  and  efficiency  of  character  would  live 
without  it. 

"  Who  shall  find  a  valiant  woman  ?  The  price 
of  her  is  as  things  brought  from  afar  off,  and  from 
the  uttermost  coast.  The  heart  of  her  husband 
trusteth  in  her."  —  Prov. 

"  Presence  of  mind  and  courage  in  distress, 
Are  more  than  armies  to  procure  success." 


CHAPTER     XXXI. 


FORTITUDE. 


CON7TECTION  WITH  SELF-POSSESSION  —  MART  LYON  AN  EXAMPLE 
OF  FORTITUDE  —  BEAUTY  IN  IT  —  HARRIET  NEWELL  —  DECIDING 
TO  BE  A  'MISSIONARY  —  GENUINE  HEROISM  —  FEMALES  NOT  IN- 
CAPABLE OF  DISPLAYING  THIS  T^AIT  —  EIGHTEEN  WIVES  IN  THE 
MAYFLOWER  —  MARY  CHILTON  —  WOMEN  OF  THE  REVOLUTION  — 
MRS.  HARRINGTON,  OF  LEXINGTON  —  MRS.  PRIOR  IMPRISONED 
IN  HOUSE  OF  ILL-FAME  —  AARON  BURR  AND  HIS  AUNT  —  RECORDS 
OF  MARTYRDOM  —  EXECUTION  OF  LADY  JANE  GREY  —  LINES  ON 
WALL  OF  HEli  PRISON  —  PERSUASIVE  TO  CULTIVATE  THIS  QUAL- 
ITY- 


SELF-POSSESSION  depends  much  upon  fortitude, 
an  element  of  character  that  girls  cannot  afford 
to  forego ;  for,  as  Locke  says,  "  Fortitude  is  the 
guard  and  support  of  all  the  other  virtues."  In  a 
sense,  this  is  true.  Timid  persons  are  likely  to  yield 
to  circumstances,  and  in  this  way  they  often  sacrifice 
the  best  qualities  of  the  heart.  On  the  other  hand, 
the  resolute  and  courageous  cause  circumstances 
to  yield  to  them.  They  are  not  disheartened  by 
the  sight  of  difficulties  or  trials,  though  others  may 
have  cowered  before  them.  In  a  world  like  this, 
where  vicissitudes  are  many,  such  a  firm  and  reso- 
lute spirit  is  necessary.  This  class  of  minds  alone 


332          THE   (JOOD   GIRL   AND    TRUE    "WOMAN. 

achieve  anything  worthy  of  being  chronicled  with 
the  life-work  of  Mary  Lyon.  As  an  example  of 
fortitude,  her  life  presents  one  of  the  noblest  pic- 
tures on  record.  It  is  difficult  to  separate  her  for- 
titude and  self-reliance.  It  is  impossible  to  say 
which  was  the  more  prominent.  It  is  certain  that 
her  courage  to  fulfil  her  mission,  despite  every  dis- 
couragement, never  failed  her.  Without  a  good 
degree  of  fortitude  she  would  never  have  resolved 
to  become  a  teacher ;  and  much  less  would  she 
have  decided  to  prosecute  the  Seminary  enter- 
prise. Such  projects  and  efforts  demand  true 
heroism.  Those  who  conceive  and  carry  them 
forward  exhibit  their  strongest  qualities  of  mind 
in  so  doing. 

Some  may  undervalue  this  trait  as  a  part  of 
female  character,  —  thinking  that  a  timid,  fearful 
spirit  is  more  becoming  that  sex ;  but  we  point 
them  to  the  life  of  Mary  Lyon,  and  ask  if  there  be 
not  beauty  in  her  fortitude.  If  she  had  shrunk 
from  the  long  and  weary  work  of  years  before  her, 
and  sat  down  disheartened  as  imposing  obstacles 
rose  in  her  path,  while  yet  she  was  conscious  of 
having  a  pressing  duty  to  perform,  the  charm  of 
her  noble  life  would  have  vanished  away.  Courage 
was  not  a  misplaced  ornament  of  her  character. 
Without  it  her  character  would  have  wanted  sym- 
metry and  loveliness. 


FORTITUDE.  333 

If  still  it  is  thought  that  fortitude  is  too  mascu- 
line for  woman,  let  me  call  attention  to  the  moral 
heroism  of  Harriet  Newell,  of  whose  consecration 
to  the  missionary  work,  at  the  age  of  seventeen,  we 
have  spoken  in  a  former  chapter.  Orators  may 
point  us  to  the  tented  field,  where  patriots  bled 
and  died  for  their  country,  and  poets  may  sing  of 
the  days  of  chivalry,  when  knighted  lovers  risked 
life  itself  for  the  loved;  but  there  is  more  calm, 
invincible,  and  sublime  heroism  in  the  decision  of 
this  pious  girl  to  bear  the  gospel  to  a  distant  land, 
than  in  all  the  records  of  well-fought  battles,  and 
the  tales  of  ancient  knighthood.  Think  of  a  girl 
just  blooming  into  womanhood,  pondering  the  me*- 
mentous  question,  whether  she  should  leave  her 
home,  and  spend  her  life  in  guiding  the  heathen  of 
a  distant  country  to  Christ,  or  yield  to  the  claims 
of  affection  and  dwell  beneath  the  parental  roof  in 
her  native  land !  Consider  that  she  has  no  bright 
example  to  cheer  her  on,  since  no  pious  female  has 
crossed  the  ocean  upon  this  blessed  errand.  With- 
out a  guide  or  pattern,  and  hence  without  a  single 
chapter  of  missionary  life  to  aid  her  decision,  she 
is  to  resolve  for  or  against  the  work  of  love.  She 
is  to  be  the  first  female  missionary  to  benighted 
nations,  and  try  the  grand  experiment  for  her  sex: 
Is  the  Christian  fortitude  that  nerved  her  to  de- 
cide for  God,  and  the  good  of  her  dying  fellow- 


334          THE    GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

men,  of  little  worth  to  woman  ?  Is  it  no  ornament 
to  female  character  ?  no  embellishment  to  even  the 
most  graceful  features  of  the  sex  ?  We  need  not 
answer  these  inquiries.  The  reader  will  reply  to 
them  correctly.  f/v* 

We  err  not,  then,  in  claiming  so  much  for  this 
virtue.  Every  person  needs  it.  It  is  not  a  quality 
to  be  overlooked  or  undervalued  without  detri- 
ment. A  girl  must  possess  the  trait  if  she  would 
bring  much  to  pass. 

Many  suppose  that  females  are  incapable  of  pos- 
sessing this  quality  in  a  high  degree.  But  this  is 
not  the  case,  if  the  facts  cited,  and  the  numerous 
examples  of  sacred  and  profane  history,  are  to  be 
regarded  at  all.  Very  often  females  have  surpassed 
the  most  daring  heroism  of  men  in  meeting  danger 
and  suffering.  As  a  general  thing,  .they  exhibit  far 
more  fortitude  in  sharing  the  trials,  disappoint- 
ments, and  distresses  of  life.  The  annals  of  poverty 
and  sorrow,  of  sickness  and  pain,  present  many  ex- 
amples of  enduring  courage  that  put  the  other  sex 
to  the  blush.  In  the  Mayflower  there  were 
eighteen  heroic  wives,  who  rejoiced  to  share  the 
privations  and  hardships  of  their  companions  for 
"  freedom  to  worship  God."  The  first  foot  that 
•pressed  the  rock  of  Plymouth,  if  tradition  utters 
the  truth,  was  that  of  Mary  Chilton,  a  beautiful 
maiden,  whose  charms  would  adorn  the  best  circles 


FORTITUDE.  SoO 

of  the  present  day.  "  On  the  unfloored  hut  she, 
who  had  been  nurtured  amid  the  rich  carpets  and 
curtains  of  the  mother-land,  rocked  her  new-born 
babe,  and  complained  not.  She  who,  in  the  home 
of  her  youth,  had  arranged  the  gorgeous  shades  of 
embroidery,  or,  perchance,  had  compounded  the 
rich  venison  pasty,  as  her  share  in  the  house- 
keeping, now  pounded  the  coarse  Indian  corn  for 
her  children's  bread,  and  bade  them  ask  God's 
blessing  ere  they  took  their  scanty  portion.  When 
the  snows  sifted  through  their  miserable  roof-trees 
upon  her  little  ones,  she  gathered  them  closer  to 
her  bosom;  she  taught  them  the  bible,  and  the 
catechism,  and  the  holy  hymn,  though,  the  war- 
whoop  of  the  Indian  rung  through  the  wild.  Amid 
the  untold  hardships  of  colonial  life,  she  infused 
new  strength  into  her  husband  by  her  firmness, 
and  solaced  his  weary  hours  by  her  love."  This 
was  true,  unwavering  fortitude.  The  women  of 
the  Mayflower  compared  well  with  the  men 
thereof  in  the  noble  and  valiant  spirit  with  which 
they  endured  the  voyage  over  the  untraversed  sea, 
and  the  trials  and  perils  of  a  home  in  the  un- 
broken wilderness. 

In  the  days  of  the  American  Revolution  the 
spirit  of  woman  rose  superior  to  all  the  dan- 
gers and  sufferings  of  that  eventful  period.  Not  a 
little  of  the  bravery  and  patriotic  devotion  of 


336  THE    GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

men  on  the  field  of  battle  should  be  credited  to  the 
courage  and  patriotism  of  the  women  at  home. 
Their  firmness  and  noble  daring  for  the  cause  of 
their  country  reminds  us  of  the  Phoenician  women, 
"who  agreed  that,  if  their  country  lost  a  certain 
battle,  they  would  perish  in  the  flames,  and  who 
crowned  with  flowers  her  who,  made  that  propo- 
sition in  a  council."  One  of  these  "women  of  the 
Revolution,"  who  resided  in  Lexington,  heard, 
early  one  morning,  that  the  British  soldiers  were 
marching  upon  the  town.  She  ran  to  the  stairs, 
and  called  aloud  to  her  son,  who  was  sleeping  in 
the  chamber:  "Jonathan,  you  must  get  up  !  —  the 
regulars  are  coming !  Something  must  be  done !  " 
The  voice  of  the  courageous  mother  inspired  the 
son  of  sixteen  years  with  fortitude,  and  he  bounded 
upon  the  floor,  and  hurried  away,  as  if  bidden  to  a 
frolic.  It  was  this  kind  of  female  courage  that 
brightened  the  prospect  of  the  early  champions  of 
liberty.  It  infused  life  and  spirit  and  undying 
hope  into  the  breasts  of  those  who  fought  the  battles 
of  freedom. 

Twice  we  have  spoken  of  the  labors  of  Mrs.  Prior 
among  the  poor  and  vicious  of  New  York  city ;  and 
we  refer  to  her  again.  One  day  she  stepped  into  a 
house  of  ill-fame,  to  leave  a  tract,  when  the  door  was 
closed  by  some  of  the  inmates,  who  said,  as  they 
locked  it,  "  You  are  our  prisoner."  —  "  For  a  mo- 


FORTITUDE.  387 

ment,"  said  Mrs.  Prior,  "  my  heart  was  tremulous. 
I  said  nothing  till  the  risings  of  fear  were  quelled, 
and  then  replied,  pleasantly,  '  Well,  if  I  am  a  pris* 
oner,  I  shall  pray  here,  and  would  sing  praises  to 
G.»d  if  I  were  not  so  hoarse.  Yes,  bless  the  Lord  ! 
his  presence  can  make  me  happy  here,  or  anywhere, 
and  you  can  have  no  power  to  harm  me  unless  he 
gives  it.  This  is  a  dreadful  place,  to  be  sure,  but  it 
is  not  so  bad  as  hell ;  for  there  there  is  no  hope. 
The  smoke  of  their  torment  ascendeth  up  forever 
and  ever!  What  a  mercy  that  we  are  not  all 
there  !  What  compassion  in  the  blessed  Jesus  that 
he  spares  us,  when  our  sins  are  every  day  so  great !  1 
I  talked  to  them  in  this  manner,  till  they  were  glad 
to  open  the  door  as  a  signal  for  my  release."  Her 
fortitude  and  self-possession  would  not  have  been* 
surpassed  by  a  male  in  kindred  circumstances. 

Another  class  of  incidents,  showing  that  woman 
is  equal  to  almost  any  circumstances,  where  duty 
calls  for  fortitude,  is  represented  by  the  following : 

The  notorious  Aaron  Burr  visited  his  uncle,  Hon. 
Timothy  Edwards,  in  1809,  in  the  town  of  Stock- 
bridge,  Mass.  It  was  the  first  visit  he  paid  the 
family  after  his  return  from  Europe.  His  aunt  was 
a  woman  of  deep-toned  piety,  with  courage  enough 
to  perform,  the  most  unpleasant  duty.  On  the 
morning  of  Col.  Burr's  departure,  while  his  carriage 
was  waiting  at  the  door,  she  asked  him  to  go  with 
29 


338         THE   GOOD   GIKL  AND   TRUE   WOMAN. 

• 

her  into  the  north  room,  where  she  besought  him 
to  be  a  better  man.  Of  that  scene,  she  said  :  "  I 
cannot  tell  you  how  anxious  I  felt,  as  I,  an  old  wo- 
man, went  through  the  hall  with  that  great  man, 
Col.  Burr,  to  admonish  him,  and  to  lead  him  to  re- 
pentance. After  we  were  by  ourselves,  I  said  to 
him,  '  Col.  Burr,  I  have  a  thousand  tender  memories 
associated  with  you.  I  took  care  of  you  in  your 
childhood,  and  I  feel  the  deepest  concern  over  your 
erring  steps.  You  have  committed  a  great  many 
sins  against  Gjxl,  and  you  killed  that  great  and 
good  man,  Gen.  Hamilton.  I  boseech  you  to  re- 
pent, and  fly  to  the  blood  and  righteousness  of  the 
Redeemer  for  vpardon.  I  cannot  bear  to  think  of 
your  being  lost,  and  I  often  pray  most  earnestly 
'for  your  salvation.'  The  only  reply  he  made  to 
me,"  continued  the  excellent  old  lady,  "  was,  '  Oh, 
aunt,  don't  feel  so  badly;  we  shall  both  meet  in 
heaven  yet ;  meanwhile,  may  God  bless  you.'  He 
then  tenderly  took  my  hand  am",  left  the  house." 
Few  men  would  have  dared  to  reprove  Burr  as  did 
this  Christian  woman.  r  *•.-•: 

The  records  of  martyrdom  contain  no  brighter 
examples  of  moral  courage  than  tl  ose  of  the  female 
sex.  Many  pious  women,  even  n  the  bloom  of 
youth,  have  yielded  life  in  the  noblest  triumph. 
Lady  Jane  Grey  was  only  eighteen  years  of  age 
when  she  was  doomed  to  die,  with  her  husband,  for 


FORTITUDE.  839 

no*  real  offence  whatever.  She  was  beautiful  and 
accomplished  ;  and  she  received  her  sentence  with 
the  composure  and  magnanimity  of  one  whose  re- 
ward is  on  high. '  On  the  day  of  their  execution, 
her  husband  desired  to  see  her ;  but  she  returned  a 
message  to  the  import  that  "  the  tenderness  of  their 
parting  would  overcome  the  fortitude  of  both,  and 
would  too  much  unbind  them  from  that  constancy 
which  their  .approaching  end  required  of  them. 
Our  separation,"  said  she,  "  will  be  only  for  a  few 
moments,  and  we  shall  soon  regain  each  other  in  a 
scene  where  our  affections  will  be  forever  united, 
and  where  death,  disappointment,  and  misfortunes,  ' 
can  no  longer  disturb  our  felicity."  She  bore  her 
trials  with  calmness,  even  when  she  was  conveyed 
to  the  scaffold,  and  stood  before  the  executioner. 
She  addressed  the  multitude  with  the  utmost  ten- 
derness, and  moved  them  to  tears.  She  freely  for- 
gave her  cruel  persecutors ;  and  then  meekly  and 
composedly  bowed  her  head  upon  the  block,  when 
a  single  blow  terminated  her  life.  Thus  died  a  girl 
who  "  had"  the  birth  of  a  princess,  the  learning  of  a 
divine,  and  the  life  of  a  saint;  and  yet  suffered  the 
death  of  a  malefactor  for  the  offences  of  her  pa- 
rents." 

The  noble  Christian  spirit  with  which  she  met  her 
Bufferings  in  the  Tower,  and  viewed  approaching 
death  to  which  she  was  sentenced,  may  be  learned 


340          THE   GOOD   GIRL   AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

from  the  following  lines,  which  she  inscribed  up*on 
the  wall  of  her  room  with  a  pin.  They  were  written 
in  Latin,  and  paraphrased ;  and  they  run  thus : 

"  Think  not,  0  mortal!  vainly  gay, 

That  thou  from  human  woes  art  free; 
The  bitter  cup  I  drink  to-day 
To-morrow  may  be  drank  by  thee !  " 

"  Harmless  all  malice,  if  our  God  be  nigh; 
Fruitless  all  pains,  if  he  his  help  deny. 
Patient  I  pass  these  gloomy  hours  away, 
And  wait  the  morning  of  eternal  day !  " 

It  is  evident,  then,  that  females  are  capable  of 
exhibiting  the  highest  kind  of  fortitude,  and  also, 
that  it  is  a  valuable  and  ornate  quality.  In  every 
example  given,  it  makes  female  character  appear 
to  greater  advantage,  as  the  reader  will  readily 
grant. 

It  remains  only  to  add  a  persuasive  to  the  reader 
to  strive  to  cultivate  this  trait.  It  will  never  come 
amiss,  or  be  useless,  though  the  path  of  life  lead 
you  among  flowers  instead  of  thorns.  Prize  it,  both 
as  a  safeguard  and  adornment,  and  never  sacrifice 
it  to  a  false  idea  of  feminine  grace  and  propriety. 

"  Yet,  it  may  be,  more  lofty  courage  dwells 

In  one  weak  heart  which  braves  an  adverse  fate", 
Than  his  whose  ardent  soul  indignant  swells, 
Warmed  by  the  fight,  or  cheered  through  high  debate." 


CHAPTER    XXXII. 


PIETY. 


CROWNING  EXCELLENCE  — A  FEMALE  INFIDEL  —  REMARKS  Off 
HANNAH  MORE  AND  REV.  J.  A.  JAMES  —  THEY  REPRESENT 
VIEWS  OF  ALL  WRITERS  —  MARY  WOLSTENCROFT  CONDEMNED 
FOR  INFIDELITY — FRA.NCE8  WRIGHT  AND  LAFAYETTE—  MANY 
GIRLS  LIVING  WITHOUT  GOD  —  MARY  LYON'S  PIETY — INCREASED 
LUSTRE  OF  OTHER  VIRTUES  —  RELIGION  ADAPTED  TO  NATURE 
AND  SPHERE  OF  WOMAN  —  THE  TEMPLE  OF  VESTA  —  GIRLS 
NEED  RELIGION  TO  CULTIVATE  SOME  OF  FOREGOING  QUALITIES 
—  TO  SHIELD  THEM  FROM  TEMPTATION  —  TO  PREPARE  THEM 
FOR  THE  VICISSITUDES  OF  LIFE  —  MBS.  COMSTOCK,  THE  MISSION- 
ARY—  IT  PREPARES  FOR  EXCHANGE  OF  WORLDS — LAST  HOURS 
OF  A  PIOUS  YOUNG  LADY  —  LINER — CONCLUSION. 


THE  crowning  excellence  of  female  character  is 
piety.  No  qualities,  however  desirable  and  lovely, 
can  supply  the  absence  of  this.  Says  Hannah  More : 
"  Let  no  mistaken  girl  fancy  she  gives  a  proof  of  her 
wit  by  her  want  of  piety,  or  that  a  contempt  for. 
things  serious  and  sacred  will  exalt  her  under- 
standing, or  raise  her  character,  even  in  the  opin- 
ion of  the  most  avowed  male  infidels.  For  one  may 
venture  to  affirm,  that,  with  all  their  profligate 
ideas,  both  of  women  and  religion,  neither  Boling- 
'•  29* 


342          THE   GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

broke,  Wharton,  Buckingham,  nor  even  Lord 
Chesterfield  himself,  would  have  esteemed  a  woman 
the  more  for  her  being  irreligious."  Says  Rev. 
John  Angell  James :  "  Beauty  is  woman's  attribute, 
and  her  form,  when  seen  in  more  than  usual  charms, 
is  the  most  perfect  type  of  exquisite  symmetry  to 
be  found  in  the  whole  material  universe.  And  if 
woman's  form  be  the  finest  specimen  of  material 
beauty,  woman's  piety  is  the  most  attractive  in- 
stance of  that  which  is  moral.  Who  can  look  upon 
the  well-executed  pictorial  representation  of  this, 
as  seen  in  paintings  and  engravings,  without  admi- 
ration ?  Where  does  woman  look  so  altogether 
lovely  as  when  seen  lifting  the  eye  of  devotion  to 
heaven  —  that  eye  in  which  faith,  hope,  and  love, 
seem  all  to  mingle  and  express  their  emotions? 
The  Church  of  Rome  has  known  the  power  of  this, 
and  has  maintained  its  dominion,  in  some  measure, 
over  its  votaries  by  the  power  of  the  painter's  art 
in  depicting  female  beauty  associated  with  female 
piety.  In  a  religious  female,  the  beauty  of  heaven 
and  earth  combines  —  the  graces  of  the  seraph  and 
those  of  the  daughters  of  Adam  are  united ;  just  as 
in  a  holy  man  the  sublimer  grandeur  of  mortals 
and  immortals  is  found  associated.  Piety,  then,  is 
the  last  and  finest  polish  of  female  excellence." 

These  two  writers  fairly  represent  the  views  of 
the  entire  class  of  writers  upon  this  subject.     There 


PIETT.  343 

is  but  one  sentiment  respecting  female  piety.  It 
wins  universal  admiration.  On  the  other  hand,  im- 
piety in  woman  is  always  odious.  We  can  endure 
levity  and  worldliness  in  one  of  this  sex,  so  long  as 
she  does  not  jest  with  sacred  things:  the  moment 
she  ridicules  religion,  or  speaks  lightly  of  eternal 
realities,  we  are  shocked  and  troubled.  A  female 
infidel  is  rarely  met.  The  few  who  have  lived  have 
been  justly  spurned  out  of  decent  society.  Popular 
/  opinion  has  branded  them  as  a  disgrace  to  their 
sex ;  the  verdict  of  society  has  consigned  them  to 
merited  shame.  This  was  true  of  Mary  Wolsten- 
croft,  who  labored  to  release  her  sex  from  the 
claims  of  religion.  As  a  reward  for  her  unholy 
zeal,  her  name  became  a  hissing  and  by-word  in 
virtuous  circles.  It  was  also  true  of  Frances 
Wright,  the  highly  accomplished  daughter  of  a 
noble  family  in  Scotland.  She  came  to  this  country 
in  company  with  Lafayette,  and  was  received  at 
Washington  with  demonstrations  of  profound  re- 
spect. For  a  time,  the  public  seemed  to  divide 
their  honors  wetl-nigh  equally  with  her  and  the 
great  statesman  of  France ;  but,  when  it  was  dis- 
covered that  her  mind  was  divorced  from  Chris- 
tianity, and  that  she  desired  to  see  the  social  com-  • 
pact  remodelled  -vith  laws  of  less  restraint,  her  fame 
at  once  declined,  and  she  speedily  passed  into  unen- 
viable neglect.  Instead  of  being  an  example  to  her 


344          XHB   GOO1J   GIRL    AND    TKUK    WOMAX. 

sex,  she  became  a  warning ;  and  she  finally  left  the 
world,  in  a  land  of  strangers,  with  no  kindred  to 
close  her  eyes,  or  drop  a  tear  at  her  grave. 

Thus  the  common  verdict  of  mankind  declares  in 
favor  of  female  piety;  and  the  conscience  of  the 
reader  responds  that  the  verdict  is  just. 

Yet  many  girls  are  living  without  even  the  form 
of  godliness.  They  would  not  consent  to  be  called 
Jnfidels,  for  that  would  shock  their  moral  sensi- 
bilities; and  still  they  are  living  practically  as  if 
piety  were  no  part  of  life.  If  they  were  avowed 
infidels  they  would  not  live  with  less  reference  to 
the  God  who  made  them  than  they  do  now.  They 
are  utterly  thoughtless  upon  the  subject,  practi- 
cally denying  what  they  profess,  to  believe,  viz. : 
that  piety  is  a  pearl  of  great  price. 

It  was  piety  that  contributed  the  chief  lustre  to 
Miss  Lyon's  character.  Her  other  qualities  would 
have  been  comparatively  inefficient  without  this  to 
control  and  use  them.  This  conceived  the  one 
great  purpose  of  her  life,  inspired  her  soul  with  ex- 
alted motives,  and  urged  her  forward  with  a  self- 
reliance  and  zeal  almost  unparalleled.  Seldom  has 
pure  and  undefiled  religion  appeared  more  con- 
spicuously in  a  life  than  it  did  in  hers.  Every  plan, 
purpose,  desire,  and  work,  was  conscientiously  sub- 
jected to  its  control.  It  was  piety  that  taught  her 
to  live  for  the  good  of  others.  It  was  piety  that 


PIETT.  345 

made  her  a  teacher  for  life.  It  was  piety  that 
moved  her  to  found  the  Seminary  at  South  Hadley. 
It  was  piety  that  caused  her  to  labor  so  assiduously 
for  the  salvation  of  those  committed  to  her  care. 
It  was  piety  that  crowned  her  efforts  with  such  suc- 
cess in  winning  souls  to  Christ.  It  was  piety  that 
filled  up  her  days  with  usefulness,  and  made  the 
closing  hours  of  her  life  radiant  with  the  hope  of 
immortality.  We  mean  b"y  this  that  piety  was  the 
secret  spring  of  her  noble  efforts, —  the  sacred  influ- 
ence that  pervaded  her  thoughts  and  acts  to  such  a 
degree  that  observers  ever  felt  the  power  of  her 
godliness.  Her  piety  was  so  prominent,  and  ex- 
erted such  control  over  every  faculty  of  her  mind, 
that  no  one  could  be  long  in  her  presence  without 
noticing  it.  Without  this  she  would  not  have 
been  the  accomplished  and  useful  Mary  Lyon  that 
she  was. 

Religion  appears  to  be  peculiarly  adapted  to  the 
nature  and  condition  of  woman.  Hence  the  fact, 
that  more  females  than  males  become  the  followers 
of  Christ.  Infidels  may  ridicule  the  Gospel  on  this 
account,  and  call  it  "  woman's  religion  ; "  but  their 
dei'ision  is  really  a  tribute  to  Christianity,  and  an 
honor  to  the  female  sex.  That  so  many  of  this 
class  have  embraced  religion  is  a  compliment  to 
their  intelligence,  wisdom,  and  moral  convictions. 
It  is  due  to  woman  more  than  to  man  that  the 


346     THE  GOOD  GIRL  AND  TEUE  WOMAN. 

Gospel  has  been  preserved  and  advanced  in  the 
world.  She  has  kept  the  fire  burning  upon  its  altar, 
when  otherwise  it  would  have  expired.  We  are 
told  that  the  ancient  Romans  selected  six-  girls  for 
their  beauty,  intelligence,  and  virtue,  to  serve  as 
priestesses  in  the  temple  of  Vesta.  It  was  thought 
that  females  alone  could  keep  the  fire  burning  day 
and  night  upon  the  altar.  So,  year  after  year,  they 
officiated  in  the  temple  with  fidelity  that  never 
wavered.  Equally  true  is  it  that  pious  women  have 
served  faithfully  in  the  cause  of  our  holy  religion, 
and,  in  consequence,  the  morning  and  evening  in- 
cense has  not  ceased  to  ascend  to  heaven. 

Girls  need  piety  to  enable  them  to  cultivate  some 
of  the  qualities  hitherto  discussed  ;  for  some  of  them 
are  never  possessed  by  the  irreligious  and  worldly- 
minded.  The  Christian  female  has  convictions  of 
duty,  and  exalted  aims,  which  call  forth  her  power, 
mental  and  moral,  most  successfully.  Often  those 
of  very  ordinary  intellectual  abilities  signalize' their 
lives  by  doing  a  great  amount  of  good,  simply  be- 
cause piety  imparts  aim,  force,  and  efficiency  to 
their  faculties.  This  begets  a  degree  of  conscien- 
tiousness, and  a  desire  to  be  useful,  that  are  nec- 
essary to  a  well-lived  life.  Under  its  control  the 
several  powers  of  mind  are  often  developed  into  a 
harmony  and  strength  of  action  otherwise  im- 
possible. 


PIETY.  347 

Girls  need  piety,  also,  to  shield  them  from  moral 
danger.  They  are  not  exposed  to  gross  forms  of 
vice,  like  boys,  who  are  much  abroad  in  the  streets ; 
yet  they  are  beset  with  moral  perils.  We  have 
s§en  that  the  world  allures  them,  and  that  fashion 
and  amusements  often  render  them  utterly  useless. 
If  piety  shielded  them  with  its  precepts  and  its 
restraining  influence,  their  lives  would  not  be  thus 
thrown  away  for  baubles.  They  would  cherish 
nobler  and  purer  views  of  all  that  pertains  to  exist- 
ence. They  would  shun  worldliness  and  useless- 
ness  as  they  would  more  heinous  evils. 

Piety  is  necessary,  too,  to  prepare  girls  for  the 
changes  of  life.  Some  of  the  qualities  named  will 
contribute  largely  to  this  end;  but  true  religion 
will  contribute  more.  This  beholds  God  in  every 
experience  of  life,  and  hence  it  refers  all  things  to  a 
superintending  Providence.  It  thereby  enables 
the  possessor  to  adapt  herself  to  circumstances, 
however  unpleasant  and  trying  they  are.  From 
the  petted  daughter  of  a  wealthy  merchant,  she 
may  become  the  poor,  wretched  wife  of  a  drunk- 
ard. From  a  home  of  affluence  and  luxury,  she 
may  be  removed  to  one  of  want  and  hardship.  But 
religion  will  solace  her  heart  with  the  bright  hopes 
and  promises  of  the  Gospel.  It  will  give  her  a 
spirit  to  bear  her  trials  heroically,  though  it  will 
not  remove  them.  The  language  of  her  heart  will 


348  THE    GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

be,  "  Why  art  thou  cast  down,  O  my  soul  ?  and 
why  art  thou  disquieted  within  me  ?  Hope  in  God  : 
for  I  shall  yet  praise  him,  who  is  the  health  of  my 
countenance,  and  my  God."  It  was  'this  spirit 
which  enabled  that  devoted  missionary  in  Burmah, 
Mrs.  Comstock,  to  exclaim,  in  the  severest  trial  of 
her  life,  "  0  Jesus,  I  do  this  for  thee  !  "  She  had 
resolved  to  send  her  children  to  America  to  be  edu- 
cated, and  the  day  of  their  departure  arrived.  As 
she  led  them  down  to  the  ship  in  which  they  were 
to  sail,  and  the  trial  of  that  parting  hour  began  to 
be  realized,  in  unutterable  grief,  she  lifted  up  her 
heart  in  prayer  to  God  for  her  loved  ones,  and  ex- 
claimed, "  0  Jesus,  I  do  this  for  thee  !  " 

More  than  all,  religion  prepares  the  soul  for  an  ex- 
change of  worlds.  The  reader  will  pass,  sooner  or 
later,  into  the  untried  realities  of  eternity.  How 
beautiful  the  sight  of  a  youthful  female  yielding  up 
her  soul  to  God  with  a  sweet  trust  in  the  Re- 
deemer's care  and  mercy !  There  is  no  more  glo- 
rious close  of  a  young  and  blooming  life.  The 
scene  combines  the  purity  of  heaven  and  the 
beauty  of  earth.  "We  might  introduce  many  touch- 
ing examples  of  early  female  piety  in  the  hour  of 
dissolution ;  but  we  shall  close  this  volume  with  a 
single  one,  as  related  by  Rev.  J.  Angell  James : 

"  One  morning  I  paid  a  pastoral  visit  to  a  young 
lady,  a  member  of  my  church.  On  my  rising  to 


PIETT.  349 

retire,  my  young  friend  informed  me  that  she  had 
an  invalid  sister,  whom  she  expected  every  moment 
from  her  chamber,  and  who,  she  said,  would  be 
much  gratified  to  see  me.  I  had  scarcely  resumed 
my  seat,  before  there  entered  the  room  a  most 
lovely  and  interesting  young  person,  whose  fea- 
tures, naturally  extremely  pleasing,  derived  addi- 
tional beauty  from  the  fatal  hectic  with  which  they 
wore  a  little  flushed,  and  which  had  been  increased 
by  the  exertion  of  coming  down  stairs I  en- 
tered into  conversation  with  her  on  the  circum- 
stances of  her  affliction, — a  subject  which,  though  in 
most  cases  gloomy  and  depressing,  checked  not 
for  a  moment  the  sweet  smile  which  played  upon  her 
engaging  countenance.  She  soon  informed  me  that 
she  felt  she  had  the  sentence  of  death  in  herself, 
and  considered  her  illness  as  a  voice  from  the  tomb ; 
and  spoke  of  dying  as  one  that  was  familiar  with 
the  awful  topic.  '  I  have  neither  love  of  life,'  she 
said,  '  nor  fear  of  death  ;  and  although  I  am  leaving 
the  world  when  its  prospects  were  become  most 
flattering  and  alluring,  I  do  not  regret  it ;  I  have 
only  one  desire,  and  that  is  after  more  communion 
with  God.'  The  whole  strain  of  her  conversation 
was  so  calm,  so  collected,  so  dignified,  evincing 
such  meek  submission,  such  humble  piety,  such 
weanedness  from  the  world,  and  such  longing  after 
immortality,  that  I  gazed  at  her  with  wonder  and 

30 


; 


350          THE  GOOD    GIRL    AND    TRUE    WOMAN. 

delight,  and  left  the  house  thinking  and  saying  that 
I  had  scarcely  ever  witnessed  anything  so  sera- 
phic. *  *  * 

"  At  the  time  of  her  attack  she  was  engaged  in 
the  bonds  of  plighted  love  to  a  gentleman  to  whom 
she  was  to  have  been  married.  It  is  in  vain  to 
suppose  that  she  could  turn  from  the  altar  to  the 
tomb,  as  an  object  of  contemplation,  and  from  this 
dearest  of  all  friends  to  the  arrest  of  the  last 
enemy,  without  a  severe  struggle  between  an 
earthly  and  a  spiritual  affection.  The  conflict  was 
short,  the  victory  complete ;  and  it  was  at  once 
the  greatest  effort  and  brightest  triumph  of  her 
faith,  to  be  made  willing  to  give  up  even  this  dear 
object  of  her  heart,  and  to  depart  to  be  with 
Christ.  In  reference  to  this  event,  she  sometimes 
said :  '  It  is  mysterious,  but  I  know  it  is  all  right. 
My  Heavenly  Father  knows  what  is  best  for  me.' 
"  As  I  did  not  apprehend  from  my  first  visit 
that  her  end  was  near,  and  as  I  was  much  from, 
home,  I  did  not  again  see  her  for  some  time ; 
and  O,  that  all  my  young  friends  could  have  seen 
her  as  I  then  saw  her — lovely  in  death,  like  a  moss- 
rose  bud  nearly  severed  from  its  stock,  and  just 
ready  to  fall  on  the  .  ground,  with  its  opening 
beauties  possessing  still  their  freshness  and  their 
fragrance !  There  was  not  the  shadow  of  a  shade 
of  impatience,  anxiety,  or  fear,  to  becloud  her  beau- ' 


PIETT.  351 

tiful  countenance,  to  check  the  smile  that  irradiated 
her  features,  or  to  dim  the  ray  of  hope  which  glit- 
tered in  her  fine,  expressive  eye,  as  it  turned  to  that 
heaven  whither  her  heart  had  already  ascended. 

I  pass  over  much  that  was  said  during  that 

most  solemn  and  delightful  interview,  to  mention 
one  remark :  '  Do  you  now  feel  any  regret,'  I  said 
to  her,  *  that  you  are  leaving  the  world  so  early, 
and  when  its  prospects  were  becoming  so  attrac- 
tive ? '  With  an  ineffable  smile,  she  replied,  '  Our 
great  business  in  this  world  is  to  obtain  the  salva- 
tion of  our  souls ;  and  having  secured  that,  I 
have  accomplished  the  end  of  my  existence.'' 

"  A  tune  was  fixed  for  a  last  sad  interview  with 
her  once  intended  husband.  In  this  scene  her  faith 
shone  forth  in  all  its  brightness,  and  patience  had 
its  perfect  work.  While  all  around  were  filled 
with  poignant  grief,  she  was  calm,  serene,  composed. 
Having  affectionately  uttered  some  pious  counsels 
to  this  friend  of  her  heart,  and  pointing  him  to  the 
heaven  on  the  verge  of  which  he  saw  her,  she  took 
her  last  farewell,  and  gave  her  last  look  with  a 
tranquillity  and  fortitude  that  surprised  every  one, 
and  which  proved  that  she  was  now  enjoying  too 
much  of  the  '  excellent  glory '  to  suffer  intensely 
from  the  rending  of  any  earthly  ties  whatever.  She 
looked  up  into  heaven  and  saw  Jesus  waiting  to  re- 
ceive her  spirit,  and  felt  that  she  could  leave  for 


I 


> 


3o2  THE   GOOD    GIRL    AND    TUUE    WOMAN. 

Him  even  that  friend  with  whom  it  was  once  her 
fondest  earthly  hope  to  tread  the  path  of  life  in 
company.  The  scene  scarcely  ruffled  her  peace,  or 
drew  from  her  soul  one  longing,  lingering  look  to 
earth, —  for  heaven  was  fully  in  her  view. 

" '  In  the  midst  of  sufferings,  too  painful  to  de- 
scribe,' said  her  sister,  in  a  note,  '  Martha  could 
smile,  and  tell  us  Jesus  was  near  her.  Her  coun- 
tenance, at  all  times  animated  and  happy,  was 
unusually  so  now ;  it  beamed  with  ineffable  bright- 
ness, and  was  a  strong  and  beautiful  evidence  that 
all  was  perfect  peace  within.  When  she  could  no 
longer  articulate,  she  looked  all  we  could  wish  her 
to  say.  About  five  minutes  before  she  expired,  her 
agonies  ceased,  she  recognized  all  of  us,  and,  as 
though  to  bid  a  last  farewell,  she  smiled,  and  ex- 
claimed, Happy  !  happy  ! '  " 

•"  Is  this  Death's  seal?    The  impression,  0,  how  fair! 
Look !  what  a  radiant  smile  is  playing  there ! 
That  was  the  soul's  farewell;  the  sacred  dust 
Awaits  the  resurrection  of  the  just. 

We  have  done !  We  recommend  to  girls  the 
study  of  the  numerous  examples  of  female  worth 
which  we  have  cited,  as  a  means  of  inspiring  the 
soul  with  pure  and  noble  aims,  that  they  may  live 
in  honor  and  die  in  peace.  r 

END  . 


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